Desi

I stood in front of the door, my chest heaving up and down with nervous, shaky breaths. Now that I stood here, about to make my decision, it suddenly felt wrong. I knew that I wanted to be here, but something stirred inside of me, making my body sway towards the opposite end of the hall.

Before I could let myself grab hold of the doorknob, I started running. I sprinted away from the door and back down the hall, passing my suite on the way. My hair flew behind me, blowing away from my face.

I slowed my pace to a different door, a different suite. My nerves began to overwhelm me as I reached out for the doorknob, swinging the door open and stepping inside.

My eyes trailed across the canvas of the living room, spotting no sign of him and I began to worry. Where is he? Why isn't he here? Did something happen? My mind rushed with questions, that seemed to have no answer until I saw the curtains swaying slightly with a breeze that lightly fluffed my hair.

The glass door was open revealing the balcony, with a familiar pair of legs resting on the balcony rail as the body to go with them lounged back in a chair.

I slowly walked towards the open door, trying to catch my breath, time turning into eternity as I made my way to the balcony. The cool breeze that touched me now as I stepped through the door sent goosebumps up my arms, my mind expecting my body to feel the heat of Las Vegas.

I gripped the rail of the balcony, my head turning as the body next to me startled.

Ryder's feet landed onto the floor, his arms bracing to stand up. “Hey...” His voice trailed off, not knowing what to say. His short brown hair was ruffled, as if he had been running his fingers through it anxiously. He stayed frozen, his eyes locked on mine, waiting for me to speak.

“Hey,” I said softly, glancing away from him.

My body tilted forward, my eyes trailing down towards the street that was lit up like a rainbow, each sign trying to gain more attention than the others. My gaze made its way to the tall barbed wire fence surrounding the out-skirts of the city.

“How are you?” Ryder asked, his voice quiet.

Releasing the rail, I spun around to look at him. “Let's just stop the casual chit-chat,” I said, my voice sounding harsher than I meant for it to be. “I'm here because we need to talk.”

“Alright,” Ryder said, trying to pry his eyes from mine unsuccessfully. “What do we need to--”

“But there's something I need to do first,” I said, walking towards him. I tried to force my hands to cease of shaking, but my racing heart was too much to handle.

Ryder's eyes widened, with his arms still bracing the chair, his muscles tightening. When I grabbed his face between my hands, he looked as if he could pass out with anticipation, so I didn't hesitate.

I brought my lips down to Ryder's, lightly kissing him. His body reacted so quickly, it was almost as if he was the one that kissed me. His hand reached up, wounding itself into my hair, pulling my face closer to his.

I could feel the heat between us, rolling into my body, making me so unaware of my surroundings that I didn't even realize Ryder had stood up until I was against the balcony rail, my back arching over the metal. There was no space between us anymore, but Ryder's hands slid down spine to press us even harder together

Suddenly, he pulled away, his eyes burning into mine, my lips still pursed from the kiss.

“I really do love you,” I whispered.

A smile twitched at his lips. “So it's me?” Ryder asked. “You chose me?”

“No..” I said, feeling so guilty as the smile fell from his face. “I'm sorry, but I needed to make sure--”

“Why did you kiss me if you chose Cody?” Ryder asked, interrupting me, his voice filled with hurt and accusation.

“I didn't choose him either,” I said, holding Ryder's arms around me as he tried to let go of me. He was strong enough to pull away, but the fact that I wanted him to hold on, stopped him from going anywhere. “I'm in love with both of you. I can't help it, but I am. I can't hurt either of you anymore than I already have. I won't.”

Ryder's eyes lightened, not seeming so sad. “So I haven't completely lost yet?” He smiled cockily and I couldn't help but smile back at him. “But I thought you said we needed to talk. Was that it?”

“No,” I started, scooting away from the rail and out of Ryder's arm. “There's more. We need to--”

The faint clicking of stilettos filled my ears, cutting me off. Ryder's head turned with mine to see Vivian walking through the suite, towards the balcony.

She looked eerie in the tight silver dress, her skin looking paler, her hair more electric. A smirk spread across her blood red, lipsticked lips. My spine shivered as I wondered whether she knew Cody was alive, and here.

“Good thing I can catch both of you at the same time,” Vivian said, stopping a few feet away from us, still inside the suite. “That way I don't have to repeat this again. That would be so tedious.”

“What do you want?” I said through my teeth, hating her even more for breaking up Ryder and I's conversation and knowing that what she has to say will probably ruin everything.

Vivian's eyes narrowed at me before flicking in Ryder's direction. “You two have been chosen.” Two of her long painted fingernails pointed at us.

I opened my mouth to ask what the hell she was talking about when Vivian cut me off.

“Tomorrow night you will be fighting together.” Her eyebrows raised sharply, waiting for us to respond.

“Against how many?” Ryder spoke first, comprehending instantly what this meant. His arm reached out in front of me, urging me not to explode on the wretched woman in front of us.

“Four,” Vivian replied, an evil smile appearing on her lips. “Two each, unless you two want to make it a competition.”

“You can't be serious,” Ryder said in disbelief. “They're vicious in herds. How are we supposed to survive this?”

“That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself.”

“You bitch,” I said, my voice low. I shoved Ryder's arm out of the way and stepped towards her. “You set this up just to kill us off. You're a coward.”

Ryder fumbled for me, hoping to restrain me but I shrugged him off, Vivian pointing her red fingernail at me.

“I should just kill you right now,” I said only inches away from her face.

“Don't kill the messenger,” Vivian replied, holding her ground. “I'm not the one that set it up. Turner's decided we need to change things up.” She actually had the nerve to place her hand on my shoulder as if she was comforting me. I stared down at her hand as if it was the infection itself. “I'm sorry. Maybe things will work out okay for you two. But probably not.” She smiled.

I slapped her arm away, the loud sound of my skin hitting hers echoing through the quiet suite. Vivian smiled, a small chuckle rumbling in her throat.

“I'll see the both of you tomorrow,” She said, waving her fingers playfully. My eyes stared after her as she walked away. I didn't turn towards Ryder until she was gone.

“We have to get out of here,” I said urgently. “I may be torn between you and Cody, but I do know one thing. I need to make sure both of you are safe.”

“You need to be safe too,” Ryder argued, stepping towards me, his arms outstretched.

Even though I had just shared a moment with Ryder, I took a step backwards, away from him.

“I can't,” I told him, already feeling ashamed with myself for kissing him in the first place. “Just forget it happened. We have bigger things to think about right now.” I plunged myself into mission-mode, feeling even worse when Ryder's eyes saddened.

“Just forget about it?” Ryder asked, hurt filling his voice. “How can you expect me to forget about that?”

“I came here to talk to you about escaping,” I pressed my argument further, wanting to avoid the subject of our kiss. “And Vivian just made it even more aware that we need to get the hell out of here.”

I could tell by Ryder's face that he wanted to continue our other conversation, but when he looked me in the eye he composed himself.

“I have a little something in mind,” He said quietly. “But I'm sure Doc and your friend, Durbin, will want to put in their input.”

“Then let's go,” I said, turning over my shoulder and walking to the door.

Ryder caught up with me by the time I stepped into the hallway, and we walked side by side. It was eerily quiet as the both of us kept our eyes ahead, towards the Doc's suite, and when Ryder spoke, it made me tense.

“You know,” Ryder said, slowing his pace at Doc's suite. “You have no idea what you do to me.” He sighed as he grabbed the doorknob.

I reached my hand out, resting it on his forearm, my eyes gazing up towards his face as he slowly turned to look at me.

“I'm sorry,” I said, truly meaning it. “I feel like I'm making the right decision for now. I can't just choose between you two after everything you both have done for me.”

“I know,” Ryder said, his voice understanding. “I just wish things were different.”

“There are a lot of things I wish that were different, Ryder.” I let go of his arm and brushed my hair behind my ear. “I wish that my parents were still alive. I wish I could choose you or Cody, and make everyone happy. I wish that the infection had never happened. But we have to deal with what we are served, and that's what I'm going to do, starting off with planning an escape.”

Ryder's lips twitched up. “I'm with you.”

When I opened the door and walked in the suite, my eyes automatically landed on Cody who was sitting on the couch, his bandaged leg propped up on the coffee table. He was watching a movie with Aundrea, a smile on his face, his cheeks filled with color again. My heart dropped as I thought of me kissing Ryder just bit ago. Never again, I thought to myself.

When Cody saw us walk in his eyes instantly connected with mine, the smile falling from his face. He looked at me longingly, seriously, the sadness in his silver eyes melting me.

“Where's Durbin and Doc?” Ryder asked suddenly, breaking mine and Cody's gaze.

Cody fumbled with his words. “Th—they're in the back. Durbin said he found out something on his spy-guard duty. He wouldn't tell me what it was,” His eyes glanced back to mine as if finally realizing something. “He said I would kill somebody if I knew.”

Cody's eyes searched my face, and he instantly stood up, not even wincing when he put weight on his wounded leg.

“It's about you two isn't it?” Cody said, his eye's narrowing. “What's going on?”

“Turner and Vivian are putting us in a match together with a herd of infected,” Ryder said calmly. “It's pretty much murder.”

Cody looked as if he had been stabbed. He reached for the bottom of his shirt, curling it into a ball with his hands, needing something to grip as his hands clenched into fists.

“No,” He said deeply, turning to walk towards the back bedroom. I watched as he limped slightly, showing no pain, and I knew he was better, making my heart swell with joy in this impossible moment.

Cody banged his fist on the door. “Durbin!” He yelled, and the door flew open.

Durbin's shaggy hair was ruffled, his eyes bloodshot as if he'd been up all night. His eyes left Cody and trailed to me.

“I take it he knows?” Durbin asked, his voice scratchy. He stepped around a fuming Cody and out into the living room, Doc following behind him.

Cody got in front of Durbin stopping him. “You weren't going to tell me?” He asked, his voice hurt and filled with accusation. “How could you not say anything when it was about her?”

“Because I knew you'd flip out,” Durbin exaggerated the last words, throwing his hands in the air. “Now take a deep breath, you're face is as red as a hooker's nail polish.”

Cody's body relaxed and his shoulders dropped as he took a step back, his eyes quickly looking towards me then away. Silence filled the room, tension rolling through the air.

Aundrea's sudden musical laugh made every body tense, all of us forgetting she was there. We all gazed at the cartoon she was watching, everyone trying to think of something to say to shred the thick tense air.

“Well?” Aundrea said, curling up on her knees to look back over the couch at us. “What are we gonna do?”

“We?” All of us asked Aundrea at the same moment.

“I wanna help too,” She said, a smile on her face like this was all a little game. Maybe we just needed to have an attitude like her.

I smiled back at her. “Then I already have a plan,” I said.