Charlotte splashed water on her face, staring into the mirror at her wet reflection. The water dripped down her eyebrows and went into her eyes yet she did not flinch. Charlotte peered closer, seeing the bags under her eyes were more prominent than ever. Her cheeks were slightly more gaunt, and an odd paleness struck her. She was surprised she hadn't broken into a sweat yet.

She had excused herself from the room after Clary agreed to learn more about her family history that was entwined with the history of shadowhunters and the downworld. To Charlotte, it was fantasy. For it to be written history for others was maddening. She was going mad, surely. She left the room so she didn't have to be overwhelmed with the information that was flooding Clary's brain at the moment. Or she just needed a break from everything and everyone. It wasn't her first time leaving a room to recharge, but this was different.

Charlotte takes a small black towel from the rack, taking a deep breath and scrubbing the water from her face. Perhaps if she scrubbed hard enough, she would also wring dry the flaming desire to run. She places the now damp towel down and places her glasses back on her face. Not even a second seeing clearly, and a figure is standing behind her. It wasn't menacing, yet it filled Charlotte with fear all the same. "Raphael-"

Charlotte cuts herself off in a frightened squeak as his figure disappears. The only replacement was the feeling of impending darkness. Such a large bathroom, almost a suite, and yet she was claustrophobic. This figure was too close to her. It was too close to be fake, yet it was gone within the time it appeared so easily. She curls into herself by the counter. She held her head in her hands, shaking her head.

"It's not real," she muttered to herself. A moment passes without a sound except for the muffled conversation between Clary and Magnus. Charlotte stood up once again, disregarding the mirror. She paced the room, hoping her delirious state was due to her lack of sleep. Yet Clary must have slept the same amount and yet she is doing as well as she can. She was learning her history and saving Luke. Charlotte was on the toilet lid.

She sat with her elbows on her knees, not noticing her shaking legs getting worse. Charlotte pulls out her phone and goes through her messages. Her mom had messaged her once again, not placated by any of her texts. A weight lifted from her as she began texting, talking about the mundane things her mom expected of her. She was busy reading and going out with Clary and Simon. The next message she saw was from their sister, Rebecca. The text read, "Why did I have to learn from Mom that you got some boyfriend?"

Then another read, "Ok, but is he cute tho".

Simon, Charlotte cursed his name. Of course, he said that, and of course, her family was the opposite of calm so the news of a boyfriend was bigger than anything. Not big enough to overshadow the downworld, but enough to ease her heaviness. Charlotte grew calm, even chuckling at what to say to her sister. Would she be lying? Yes. Would she have had to do damage control if she told the truth? Also yes. So she kept it short with Rebecca.

"It's pretty new, just getting to know each other. It's not serious at all."

She could hear Clary and Magnus more clearly in the living room and finally, the air settled. Charlotte picks herself up, bouncing towards the door with a newfound energy. She tugs at the handle when she feels something by her. She clenches her jaw, feeling her throat close up. She swings open the door, slamming it behind her.

From the other room, Clary whips her head at the direction the noise came from. Then the yelp made her stop drawing completely. "Charlie, are you okay?" Clary asks loudly so Charlotte can hear her. Magnus stood, frozen from the noise and concern putting him on the edge of forgetting his responsibility. He did not forget the way that Charlotte simultaneously left the room calmly and in a frenzy simultaneously.

"Yeah!" The two heard from far away. Charlotte came from behind the wall with an uneasy smile. "How's it going?"

"As well as you'd assume," Magnus answers instead of Clary, once again taking notice of Charlotte's swinging mood. One moment she had the energy of a boar, the next a feeble bird. Magnus could tell the difference, and even saw the doubt and worry in Clary's eyes. To witness the confusion in Clary made him all the more sure. Something unusual was happening to her, something she was hiding for some unknown reason.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Clary asks, a more gentle, coaxing tone from her voice.

Charlotte nods, forcing a smile. She does not sit as they thought she would, she found no comfort in much but enough to act content. Without a witty response at the ready, she kept her answer at bay, "Of course. So, where were you guys?"

Clary sighs, going back to her sketching. It visibly eased her mind to put the pencil on the paper. This was Clary. This was the Clary Charlotte knew. A part of her was scared to admit that she was afraid they were all losing themselves, Clary, Simon, and herself. It did not seem like only a year ago, she was preparing herself for the rest of her life without a clue in the world. Deciding majors, deciding life goals was the hardest thing. And yet now it was life and death thrown at their feet.

"It's just, ever since I found out Valentine was my father, I wondered how my mother could be married to someone like that and why she stayed." She peers up at Magnus who came towards her. "She had to stop him."

"And safeguard the cup," Magnus added. "Everything Josslyn did, she did to save the people she'd sworn to protect. She took her oath as a shadowhunter seriously."

Their voices faded out and Charlotte found some comfort in the silence that absorbed her attention. Without the constant eyes on her and the concern that shrouded any normalcy, Charlotte could feel a sliver of herself come back. She found herself roaming, not noticing Luke's diminishing health. 

"Charlotte!" Charlotte backs out of the room, the voice screaming for her being the reason for leaving, not the illusions that filled her head in front of her. She turned, trying to see if either of them saw what she saw, but instead, she was faced with a panicking Clary hovering over Magnus who was holding down Luke. "Help!"

A gasp escapes, but the urge to help Luke is stronger than her fear. She rushes forward and holds Luke by the shoulders as Clary did, neither one strong enough to keep the werewolf from thrashing under them.

"I'm running out of magic," Magnus tells them, his focus trained solely on using his magic to keep Luke sated.

"What do we do?"

"I can't leave him, but the potion stock still needs komodo scale." Magnus struggled to keep himself up as a sweat broke out on his brow, his hair in disarray. "Find it," he orders, "add the rest when they get here. You'll have to feed it to Luke." 

"What about you?" Clary asks holding onto the vibrant chair while the apartment quaked. Books fell off the shelves and the girls barely managed to stay afoot. 

"I'll hold on as long as I can," he strains. 

Charlotte took a shaggy breath as she held onto Clary, dragging her back. She started, "Magnus-"

"Go!"

Without argument, Charlotte took Clary with her, racing into the other room. Even as her mind drifted, her focus shifted from item to item, attempting to find the missing ingredient that was left. 

"Oh my god, I can't do this!" Clary yells to herself, tears threatening to come out. Charlotte rummages through the scattered objects, barely knowing what was what but knowing Magnus needed the scale. All that was left was for Jace and Simon to come back. She had her doubts they would come back unscathed but all that mattered at the moment was the ingredient. It was the fatal push to make Charlotte move without thought as if on autopilot.

"Clary, you need to focus!" She stops for a second, hearing Magnus groaning in the other room. She grabs a hold of Clary's shoulders, looking her deep in the eye. "Luke needs you. Magnus needs you. This world needs you, Clary. Just until Simon and Jace make it back. Just a little longer."

Despite her shaky breaths, Clary nodded and started searching for the komodo scale. Charlotte could hear Magnus speaking with someone. Then Luke groaned loudly through his pain. 

"I've got it!" Clary yells. Charlotte thrusts the ingredients together as they run out of the room.

"Clary!" Jace and Simon's voices rang out over Luke's pain. Clary ran up to them.

"Do you have it?" Jace pulls the ingredient out, dangling it as Clary then takes the ingredient. "Come on, Charlie."

Clary feverishly adds the ingredient Jace and Simon acquired as well as the others Charlotte handed to her. Charlotte glanced behind her seeing Magnus falling back slightly every so often. As Clary pours the potion into a smaller metal cup, Charlotte rushes over and kneels next to Magnus. 

Clary's heels sound on the hard floor and she stands over Luke, pressing the cup to his lips. He ingests the potion and visibly relaxes, the pain subsiding. His eyes open showing his dark human eyes and Clary breathes a sigh of relief. Charlotte did not realize but her hand had made its way to Magnus' back and she felt the weight grow heavy on her hand but she still managed the strength to hold him up. Magnus looks to her, his eyes betraying his courage as the vulnerability he held bore into her. 

"You're okay, right?" Charlotte whispers, a morose look in her eyes that still somehow found the will to worry for him. Magnus found comfort in her embrace that he did not truly think would have such an effect on him. It was oddly cool and yet pleasant. Magnus nods, slightly perturbed by the feeling. 

As the air had settled between the group, Luke garnered enough strength to stay awake and be brought into one of the bedrooms. Clary and Jace brought him into the room, leaving Simon to his own devices and silent contemplations. He glances at Charlotte who frets over Magnus before she and Alec manage to get him to his room to recover from the energy he exerted. Luke's blood was sprinkled on the couch, and books and items were scattered across the space. Alec offered to clean up what he could while everyone managed to calm down. 

Charlotte stood outside of Magnus' room. She was not sure what she was doing, whether it be waiting for him or just trying to find something to distract her. Charlotte scoffed to herself. She was being ridiculous, she knew that. It was her lack of sleep or maybe she was facing living nightmares because of course she was. That was her Lewis luck.

Moments of reaching for the doorknob and then shaking her hand past. She didn't have the guts so she walked off towards another room hoping to find somebody, anybody. Somehow, the apartment was quiet. It was lonely. Charlotte wondered to herself if the warlock who inhabited this space was ever as lonely as the air felt. Was he suffocated in the silence? She trails her fingers along the walls, across a few statues that line the corridor. Thinking led her astray from everything that was going wrong, so she was happy to think about Magnus instead. 

Charlotte hears footsteps echo and she flinches, thinking the worst. If she was already seeing things on the floor, who was to say whatever came behind her wouldn't be ten times worse?

"Charlotte." It was Magnus. That, Charlotte could tell easily. Only his sultry voice could say her name in a way that made her forget it entirely, as well as anything that plagued her.

Before he could say anything, Charlotte laughed to herself. "I know you offered me to come for drinks and yet look at us now." Magnus would have chuckled at the comment, agreed, and maybe even flirted, but he could recognize the look in her eyes, a haunted look he had seen in others, a look that she did not deserve to have.

"If you want to talk about what happened today, I am all ears." He leaned closer and she could feel his breath on her face. Any closer and she swore she could see the veins on his neck. Instead, she focused on the brown of his eyes that sparked with interest. "As for drinks, I have some right in there." 

Charlotte hadn't even noticed that she did not stray far from his room. The doors were wide open and she couldn't help but gasp as not only did his room have such a grand entrance but it was larger than anything she had seen. She had only noticed now how grand the apartment was. "Wow," she mumbled, feeling out of breath. They approached the liquor table but did not stay for long.

"Charlotte!" Charlotte flinches, peeking from behind Magnus to see Simon standing in the doorway sulking. Obviously, he did not care about who his sister was seeing, so Charlotte could only assume something happened with Clary. Charlotte hated to see Simon like this. What sister wished to witness their brother heartbroken and miserable? There was only so much she could do for him.

Magnus laughs softly and nods as a way of letting her leave. "I need to check on Luke's wounds anyway."

Charlotte turns to Magnus, taking his hand with one and placing the glass back with her other hand. She feels from the back of his hand how he grips the bottom of the glass, the veins pumping. Her own grip falters and she glances back into his eyes. They were less full of control and more full of wanting than when she looked before, a flicker of insecurity floating around. She smiled a real smile, a stark contrast to the one she gave for most of that day, and patted his hand.

"I will be back for that," she declares in a whisper and goes to her brother.

Simon squints at the interaction, seeing how Magnus turns. Glass still in hand, Magnus' lips curl up. He could notice how Magnus looked at her as Charlotte approached him. "What's going on there?" Simon wonders.

"Something called none of your business. What did you need?"

Simon laughs sarcastically, dragging Charlotte into the hall away, away from anyone around. There was a strange air that surrounded the twins and neither knew how to extinguish the tension. "We need to get out of here, Charlie." Charlotte stayed silent. It was like the institute all over again. "I just... I want to go home." 

There was nothing more that Charlotte wanted than to go home and watch Star Wars with Simon, enjoying late nights of story ideas, reading, and videos until the two couldn't keep their eyes open from the sleep threatening their fun.

"Please." That word hung on her, weighing her down. She frowned, looking down at Simon's feet, and then looked up. His eyes pleaded with her, his own desperation matching hers. She nodded. He sounded as if he were about to cry, wanting to be rid of the world Charlotte had grown to accept.

She knew Clary needed people with her. But as Simon was here now, disturbed by the feeling of rejection as Clary and Jace grew closer, Charlotte knew. Charlotte knew that her brother needed her more now than ever, and perhaps she needed him too. Perhaps she needed her mundane life for just a bit more now that she was faced with the impending cuts on her heart and mind. 

"Yeah, let's go home, Si." 

He let out a shaky laugh and nodded, the action trying to wave off the previous depression. "Okay, yeah. Mom's been worried but I've been saying you've been with Clary and your boyfriend."

Charlotte tries to get rid of the smile on her face but she playfully glares at her brother with the smile. "I know. Rebecca texted me about this guy I'm apparently seeing." The siblings walk to the entrance but Charlotte stops short. "Hold on. I told Magnus I would..."

She trails off seeing the sneaky smirk on Simon's lips and she rolls her eyes. "Go on. I'll wait outside," he tells her before leaving the apartment through the entrance. Charlotte made her way through the apartment back to the living room to see Alec still cleaning up. He perked up, hearing the sound of footsteps, and surprising Charlotte with a small smile.

She approached him and started to help with the rest of the books that fell off the shelf. "You did a good job," Charlotte tells Alec, pushing his arm with hers while chuckling. Alec shakes his head, trying to not laugh or show any emotion.

"I barely did anything, mundane." Charlotte scoffs at the statement. 

"You do more than you let yourself believe. And you care more than you want others to think." She rubbed her forehead and stood. Placing the books back on the shelf, liking some of the selection, Charlotte waved goodbye to him, and something in Alec felt it would not be a while until he would see her next. Wherever she was wandering, Alec didn't know. 

"Thanks," he says just as she makes it to the doorway. Charlotte doesn't turn back but she smiles and walks off.

Magnus sorts through his liquor, and without turning he knows who is there. He bites his lip, cutting himself off from the giddy smile that would grace his mouth. He turns and sees Charlotte approach him ever so carefully. "I did promise I would come back for that," she states, pointing to the glass on the counter. Magnus grabs the glass and glides over, his own glass in his other hand. Charlotte feels a surge of confidence, takes the glass from his hand, and sips the contents. It filled her with a warm rush, much more refreshing than the coldness that had taken over.

"I hate to say it, but a small part of me doubted you would return," Magnus comments, a coy smile on his lips. 

Charlotte squints and shakes her head with a grin. "I don't know why you would."

"Is it wrong of me to doubt your..." He wasn't sure what word to use, afraid of scaring her off. "Interest." He was good at being coy, even better at telling someone he was interested. Yet this time, after holding himself back for years, he felt a pang in his chest when Charlotte didn't look away. It was her strength that attracted him to her. 

Charlotte felt her heart race as Magnus stared at her expectantly. She let out a laugh to ease her excitement and sat down. "My interest should be the last thing you doubt."

And while the two had stopped drinking, they still discussed so much that filled the air with intrigue, Charlotte's life as hers was shorter, and Magnus' many visited places, literature, and art that caused them both to filled with glee as they shared the same interests. It made Charlotte forget all the malevolent things in her life at the moment as neither brought up any negativity and for a moment Magnus forgot too.

__

A/N: Sorry this took me forever, so many things have happened, but I hope you'll like this chapter. Charlotte is going THROUGH IT, but at least she and Magnus finally ot their drink together.

I've been thinking about whetehr or not I should change my faceclaim for Charlotte. I have a problem with getting attached to faceclaims though lol 

I also posted a tiktok on my account @amadroyal so check it out!

You can see that and other tiktoks for other fics there too!

thank you all for the support and reading!