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          Despite what my father would have you believe, being the devil's daughter isn't all it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, the immortality and divine powers are great, but there's (as to be expected) quite a few cons.

"Why the fuck did you summon me with a ouija board? You know full well how queasy that shit makes me!" I huffed, glaring at the two celestial beings who had summoned me to the familiar bookshop.

"You know cell phones are a thing, right? You both have my number, so why did you need a damn board game?"

Before, I continued to yell at the angel and demon, I noticed the current state of the two. "You're drunk? You two actually drunk summoned me?"

"Dissie! How's my favorite nephilim?!" Crowley cheered, stumbling over to me and very childishly poking my cheek.

"Sober, unlike the two of you idiots." I deadpanned, slapping the demon's hand away. "Now, why did you summon me?"

"Firstly, dear Eurydice, we are not drunk—." The redhead commented, before I cut him off with a glare.

"You're both sloshed enough, that some Vikings that I used to know would be jealous of your states."

"We are in need of your assistance, dear." Aziraphale admitted in a slight daze, before almost instantly sobering up. "I'm afraid it's quite serious."

"So, you didn't drunk summon me like a couple of teenagers at a slumber party for no reason?" I asked the angel with a raised brow, as I glanced unamusedly at the two.

"Oh, we did initially, but we thought up a reason just before you got here." Crowley confessed, the demon now completely sober.

"And that reason is..." I trailed off, hoping one of the two could fill me in.

"We want to prevent Armageddon." The demon informed far too casually.

My mind reeled for a moment at the sheer absurdity of the idea, so I took said moment to gather my thoughts before even bothering to respond.

"Eurydice? Please say something, dear, you're making me anxious." Aziraphale spoke, trying to ease the tension that my silence had created.

"Are you both fucking stupid?" I asked, glaring wide eyed at the two. "Actually, don't answer that, I already know the answer."

"The Almighty has willed Armageddon, since the literal beginning of time. To go against my grandfather's will in such an astronomically fucked way, is next-level suicidal. Do you understand what will happen when we're inevitably caught?"

They both start to try and explain themselves, but I refuse to let them speak. "You both will be killed in excruciatingly painful and horrendous way according to your separate species. Probably holy water and hellfire."

"But I literally cannot die! So, that's entirely out of the question! I'm going to be chained up and thrown into the Pit! I'm going to be tortured, burned with hellfire, and have the constant screams of my worst nightmares echo through my mind for all of eternity! Think Hell but infinitely worse!"

"Oh, shit. Really?" Crowley asked wide eyed. "I thought the Pit was a myth."

"I promise you it's not." I told him bluntly with a groan. "That shit is my father's go-to punishment when I do something he doesn't like."

"That's one twisted time out." Aziraphale commented, concern evident on his face.

"Tell me about it." I chuckled darkly, before saying. "So, I guess we will just have to not get caught."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

The boys' response was expected, so I just simply laughed. "You both seem to forget that my whole purpose is to defy the Almighty. I was literally created as an act of rebellion against my grandfather!"

"Plus, I have to get back at my grandad for the whole Orpheus thing." I admitted with a shrug.

"Fair enough."

"Even Gabriel questioned the moral standing on that plan."

"He did?" I asked curiously, turning my attention to Aziraphale.

"Absolutely, he's a sucker for a good love story." The angel informed me with a nod. "Always has been."

"Huh, who would've guessed the old bastard had a heart." I muttered in thought, before returning to the matter at hand. "Anyway, the two of you were in charge of molding my little brother into the Antichrist he's destined to be, right?"

"Yeah, about that..." Aziraphale trailed off making me concerned.

"What did you two imbeciles do now?"

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