"So she's out there waiting for you and you're. . .here."

His patient rolled his green eyes.

"You're so dramatic."

"Just cheering for my patient's ahmm  love life." Dr Michael winked at him earning another eye roll.

But the doctor could see. .

See the second he came in through the door, Dr Michael noted one thing straight away.

He seemed . . different. .stable.

His vibes were so. . colossal.

Usually when he came in , he would be shaking his index finger or rubbing the back of his neck. . being fidgety. But today. .

"You look . . different." Doctor said as he watched him taking out a pack of cigarettes and then offered him one to which he declined politely.

"A good different or a bad one?" He smirked.

"A good one indeed."

"I hope this is alright ." He said waving the cigarette.

Doctor waved his hand." It's fine. As long as you're comfortable i'm willing to have a session on Burj Khalifa. Anything for my patients."

He nodded stiffly, litting up the cigarette . .the white smoke misting around him.

"Why are you smoking? You never did it here." Dr commented now taking out a file .

"She makes me nervous." He shrugged.

"Nervous?" Doctor raised his thin eyebrows. " I dare say i was expecting something in the lines of happy? Ecstatic?"

He inhaled the cheap taste of nicotine.

"Nervous because . .I don't want to fuck it up for her. She's the only one who gets me and I can feel the pressure at the back of my head. .it's there. Like— it's waiting for me to just blow up all this." He said with a forlorn look.

"Got it. Lay back . " Doctor said gently. And he did lay back his head on the chair . .eyes up on the ceiling. Their usual drill. Cigarette burning between his fingers.

"What i think is. . you're better than you have ever been before. I can detect the slight change in you."

"How long till this change  last doc? How long till I ruin it?" He mused darkly.

"Don't be so morbid. Didn't you accept it to her that you have feelings for her and well you want to be with her?"

"God knows I meant every word I said to her. I know one thing as clear as the sun. I can put up my life on line for her. If you ask me to put my life out for my family—i would never do that. I would rather watch them in a jigsaw movie with their limbs torn." He laughed . .a low humorless laugh.

Dr Michael jotted down on the pad.

Resentment

"Let's change the topic. Let's go back to your . .brother. what would you do if Ryan comes right now and asks for forgiveness?"

There was silence for a few moments. Only the smoke raising up in swirls. .his Adam's apple moved up and down. .as if he was trying to swallow.

"No. I would never forgive him for stealing a part of me! I would never forgive him for not being there for me . He took something from me that can never be given back. Hey doc? Isn't it fucking pathetic that I have a family but I feel like an orphan?"

The deadly venom in his voice was enough to make the doctor shift uncomfortably on the chair.

"As your psychiatrist I would advise you to let go of everything that's locked in you. Forgive and move on. When you keep that fire in you alive. . keep feeding it with hate.  It consumes your soul. Don't do that to yourself. Put out the fire."

"Put out? " He chuckled darkly. "I'll put out the fire but what about the embers ? It keeps burning me. Keeps reminding of why I'm like this ? Why can't I feel sadness when I see a death? I see people crying . .why can't I feel their pain? I don't feel even an ounce of sympathy!  Also I don't know how to tell you this but I have nothing in me for my family. I wish I could at least hate them but I don't have that either. Sad but true."

Doctor Michael was clicking and unclicking the pen in his hand absently. It was a habit he was still working on.

It was a tell tale sign of restlessness.

"Dean, you're carrying this geyser in you. A volcano .  I know you think you feel nothing for your family aka your brothers — or the brother that's  alive somewhere — but that is simply your mind numbing it out . .all the memories so you can survive . They are subdued right now but the moment the people in your memories becomes reality . . everything will resurface." Dr broke down all that he wanted him to think about.

Dean sat up straight. . taking a deep swig of the cigarette. . blowing out the smoke . .a haunted look in his eyes.

"In a sick way I'm living for that day when it becomes reality. I want them to see what they made me into. " His voice was calm and yet alarming.

××××××××××××××××××

| Daisy |

He was quiet.

We were going back .

But I could see he was calm . . .as if all the weight on his shoulders had been lifted off. His posture was slack relaxed. Not rigid anymore.

I was staring at him . .his side profile and i didn't feel any kind of embarrassment at just well staring at him. The sharp nose, the taut jawline, the messy hair . .the deep brown jacket he was wearing looked snug on him on all the right places and —

"If you kept looking at me like that, I might have to stop the car." His grip on the wheel tightened, the veins popping up on the back of his hand.

I don't know what came over me .  . I said ," I don't think you can ."

His neck turned slightly at me , eyebrows raised. .his green eyes taking my breath away and I instantly regretted what I said because his eyes were smouldering—

The car halted so suddenly.

I widened my eyes at him . I so wasn't expecting it . While I was being playful , there was nothing playful on his face.

With thudding heart I saw him leaning towards me — so slowly as not to startle me — and I got jammed right there!

Just when he was mere inches away from my face , I decided to ruffle his feathers by leaning all the way back towards the door.

He didn't look amuse.

His eyes wouldn't look away from me. At all.

He was just looking at me with that intense look on his face.

I stuck out my tongue at him— and then I squealed.

Squealed like a kid because his hand shot out and wrapped around my wrist so fast I didn't see it coming— snatching me towards his chest .

My palms went flat on his hard chest as I laughed at the collision.

I thought he was going to kiss me but—

Dean wrapped his arms around me .  . quieting me down instantly. .the warmth of his chest making me drowsy somehow. .I closed my eyes when I felt his lips on the side of my head.

He was saying something. .

Over and over again.

"You smell like home, Daisy. My home."

×××××××××××××××××××