CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE,
meager things

HER HEAD WAS pounding and warmth trickled down her skin, pain aching her body. When Samantha's eyes fluttered open, she was met with ones that petrified her.

His ocean eyes were cruel, full of malice and unpredictable things, his lips twisted up into his infamous smirk. He was staring down at her through a window, as if saying; well, you're in a predicament.

Her blood ran as cold as ice, flight or fight kicking into her system as she tried to shake away the fiction from her reality. He isn't real. He isn't real.

"Casey?" It came out as a tremble, a small utter of the timid girl he made her out to be.

As soon as his name left her lips, his face shifted - it wasn't her ex boyfriend, it was a walker. It slammed its head into the window and a yelp escaped Samantha's lips, the smell of its decaying flesh hitting her nostrils and she tried her best not to vomit.

She turned to her side and saw Lori unconscious, blood also tricking down her forehead. For a second, the thought of her being dead crossed Samantha's mind and fear gripped her heart, but that was soon replaced by relief when she saw her chest heaving up and down.

The walker slammed his head into the glass again, clawing into it. Samantha felt horror course through her and she begun to shake Lori, rapidly glancing at the dead corpse and her unconscious friend. "Lori, Lori!" The young adult exclaimed hurriedly.

Finally, her eyes fluttered open and browns met her greens before they fell on the walker. She screamed and moved away. "I know, he's ugly." Samantha joked weakly, her heart racing in her chest and rattling her bones. "You became the very first woman to crash a car in the apocalypse. Congrats."

"What are we going to do?!" Panic rose in Lori's voice, and there was the sound of glass breaking. The walker had finally broke into the barrier of the window, his head in between the broken shards of glass as his teeth grind together.

Samantha looked around for any other way out - and then she found it. The window on the other side of the car was open. Bingo. "You go first!" She ordered, gesturing towards their escape. Lori quickly obliged, crawling over and hoisting herself up, almost falling but Samantha was quick behind her, using her hands to lift up the woman by the bottoms of her shoes, glancing at the walker as it snarled at them.

Once she knew Lori was safe, headaches and dizziness shot through her as she used what's left of her strength to climb out. By time time she was on top of the tipped over car, the mother was already on the ground and breathing heavily at the sight of the wrecked vehicle. "Are you okay?" Samantha gripped her head as she said this, pain piercing through it.

Lori nodded. "We could've died..." She whispered in realization.

Samantha was about to open her mouth to slip in a smart ass comment, but she stopped herself when a second walker made his appearance behind Lori. Without hesitation, the twenty year old whipped out her concealed dagger and pounced on the corpse, shoving her blade into its skull.

"Oh my, god." Lori yelped, her hand cupping her mouth in shock.

"Ugly bastards," Samantha spat, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She lifted her head to look up at Lori. "So much for a road trip."

The mother pulled Samantha up but the dizziness came back, and she almost fell but she used the side of the car as leverage to not do so. "We need to head back, it's dangerous without a car-"

"I'm not going without my husband." Lori interjected firmly.

Samantha stared at her dubiously, not believing her ears. "We almost died!" She argued, gesturing dramatically at the wrecked car.

Lori shook her head. "But Rick still isn't back," Lori countered. "I'm not going without him."

"So we're just going to walk there?"

"Not you, me," Lori corrected. "You clearly have a concussion. You need to rest and when I get Rick, I'll come back for you."

"You're crazy," Samantha hissed. "You're pregnant, Lori!"

But her words clearly didn't faze the other woman. She turned, approaching the darkness that resided down the road. Samantha tried following her, but her head roared with agony and she moaned, clutching her head and rebuking Lori Grimes.

━━━━━

The life that Nathan had played God with simply didn't disturb him.

Maybe it was for the fact that he's taken lives before and he's finally been desensitized to killing. Perhaps he was evolving like Shane Walsh too, maybe they weren't that different after all.

Maybe the goodness within him as finally wilted like petals of a dying flower.

Glenn and Hershel were looking wide eyed at them. They had never seen a kill so quick without hesitation, especially Hershel - poor man was just realizing what kind of world he was living in, and it was a cold dagger of realization that this most likely won't be his first time seeing such an action committed.

"You alright?"

Glenn nodded, before his eyes turned to the soldier. Nathan didn't move, his hand still gripping the gun tightly as if the large man would reanimate and come back for revenge. Rick noticed this, and went over to Nathan. He placed a hand on his shoulder. "He's not coming back." The leader assured.

Nathan only gave the sheriff a single glance and merely shrugged, lowering his gun.

If the Army had taught Nathan one thing, it was to not walk as a human but as a weapon with legs.

Nathan scoffed at the memory, throwing a mental middle finger at it. Guess the bastards got what they wanted after all.

"Let's head back." Hershel said, observing the messy bar.The others agreed, stepping away from the scene and started heading towards the doors. Suddenly, lights danced across the windows and the panic set back in.

Nathan grabbed hold of Glenn and pulled him down along with him, the four survivors hiding near the door and away from the windows. The brunette felt his senses go on high alert. "Tony!?" A stranger called out. "I'm telling you man, I heard shots!"

Glenn was shaking with anxiety, gripping his gun tightly as dark silhouettes moved across the windows. Nathan felt trapped, as if he were in a cage and there was no key to get out. He had a bad feeling about this, a really bad one. When Nathan met Rick's eyes, he knew he felt it too.

After a few moments of silence, the soldier made the first move to act. He slid up against the wall, opening up one of the curtains and pushing it aside. It was dark, but he couldn't see any shadows of cars. He looked at Rick and shook his head, and so the leader took his turn to look out too.

Why won't they leave?" Glenn whispered.

"Because their buddies are here." Nathan replied simply.

Glenn's face lost color, thinking the same thing as the soldier. If that was true, then they had made a fatal mistake. They killed friends of another group, and as the saying goes;

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Rick still kept the strength alive between the survivors. "We can't sit here any longer," He stated, taking his role as the leader. "Let's head out to the back and make a run for it."

They got up to leave but then a gun shot rang out, causing the four to fall back to their previous spots again. More gunshots followed, and Nathan peered through the window again.

"What happened?"

Nate saw two people. Both male.

"They disappeared, their cars still there."

Nathan could still smell the blood of the corpse, something he hasn't noticed until now. Is he that used to those scents? Has it become accustomed to smell blood and decay?

"I cleared those buildings. You guys get this one?"

"No."

"Me neither."

The strangers came closer and closer to the entrance of the bar. Nathan's grey eyes widened and he quickly pulled away from the window, hurrying towards the door and pressing all his back strength into it.

The stranger went to open the door and it only opened by a little before Glenn decided to help, rushing forward and pushing against the door. The door slammed shut under their weight, and the two glanced at one another when they heard the sound of shock emitting from the other side.

"Someone pushed it shut."

Nathan let out a shaky breath, his hand gripping his pistol.

"There's someone in there. Yo, is someone in there? Yo, if someone is in there we don't want no trouble - Look, we're just looking for our friends."

Friends Nathan repeated.

The last time someone said that, they ended up with their brains blown out.

Nathan glanced at the corpses once again. So he was right about his theory - these people were a part of the same group as them. They were most definitely screwed.

If they couldn't trust their so called friends, how could they trust these people? Good was a rare thing these days, and it was going extinct by the second. Shane and Nathan killed Otis, and from the little time he knew the man, he could say that Otis was good. He was willing to risk his neck for a child he didn't know, and therefore he was murdered for it.

The people that were good once changed, shape shifted into a whole new identity. Shane was good once too -he was a cop who protected the innocent, and now he's doing the opposite. Nathan couldn't help but find the irony in that amusing.

As the strangers continued to talk, Nathan glanced at the leader and saw the look glued onto his sweaty face. Rick was torn between choices and decisions, a weight heavy on his heart.

Rick's a good man, Nathan knew that and he admittedly admired him, but he also couldn't help but wonder - wonder how long that good would last before he too would become like Shane, before he was infected with the same bad that ripped away past identities.

The men sounded as if they were going to leave. Rick looked up, making eye contact with Nathan. The soldier stared at him for a moment, before he realized what Rick was about to do. He was about to ruin their escape. He shook his head rapidly, but Rick only nodded and opened his mouth,

"They drew on us!"

Nathan's eyes went wide as did Glenn's. They couldn't believe it. They were almost out of the cage - they almost had the key to escape.

Nathan went to lurch foreword but Glenn grabbed him by his shoulders, pulling him back towards the door. He was filled with exhaustion and anger, staring daggers at Rick.

"You fucking idiot!" He seethed. "We were in the clear, and you ruined it for us."

"Nate." Glenn pleaded.

"You ruined it for us," Nathan continued, his grey eyes darkening with resentment. "You best pray they kill you before I do."

Glenn glanced at the three men, and then back at Rick. He agreed with Nathan, but was too nervous to even speak.

"Dave and Tony in there? They alive?"

Rick avoided the brunette's heavy glares, thinking of his next move.

"No."

Nathan gritted his teeth.

"Let's go."

"Cmon man, we need to go."

"I'm not leaving!" One of the men protested. "Not gonna go back and tell them that Dave and Tony got shot by some assholes in a bar."

Assholes in a bar? Are you kidding me?

"Your friends drew on us!" Rick repeated. "They gave us no choice! I'm sure we've all lost enough people," The cop knew Nathan was right at the moment. He shouldn't have said anything in the first place. "Done things we wish we didn't have to, but it's like that now, you know that!"

There was still silence on the other side. Rick continued,

"Let's just chalk this to what it was - wrong place, wrong time-"

Angry bullets suddenly pierced through the building endlessly, glass shattering everywhere as the four men ducked from the incoming impact.

Rick started shooting through the broken windows, shouting at the other three, "Get outta here! Go!"

Nathan grabbed a frozen Glenn by the back of his shirt and shoved him forward, screaming, "Let's move, man!" And dragged him behind the bar.

"Hey! We all know this isn't gonna end well."

Nathan appeared from behind the bar, his brows together and his grays dark and stormy. He was not happy with Rick Grimes.

"Shut up! It's too late for your bullshit now!" His voice carried from the bar and to the cop's ears, but no response came from him.

Nathan scowled, before he gripped Glenn's shoulders and gestured towards the door. The Korean frowned, but reluctantly followed, Rick watching the two disappear behind the door.

It was dark, the moon illuminating from the window of the back door being their only source of light. Nathan could feel Glenn shaking with fear, but he kept his head held high as they furthered into the room. Now, that's called being brave, according to the soldier.

A shadow appeared and blocked the light of the moon, the doorknob twisting-

Glenn was the first to react. He rose his gun and immediately fired, the glass shattering everywhere and the dark figure ducking out of the way. "Glenn!? Nate!?" Rick was filled with worry, his voice echoing to the back of the room.

"We're alright!" Nathan assured, and the sheriff sighed in relief.

The two friends stood in the dark for a few moments, fingers taunting the triggers and their barrels raised. Glenn looked ready to shit his pants.

"Glenn, Nate."

The two turned and saw Hershel Greene. "Rick wants you to try for the car."

Glenn stared at him dubiously. "Try?" He repeated.

"You try, and succeed," Hershel spoke firmly, glancing at the back door. "I'll cover you."

"Great plan, thanks." Glenn muttered sarcastically.

Nathan gestured towards the door and with great dismay, Glenn stepped forward. The two walked out the door, but as soon as they did another gunshot ripped through the night and the soldier grabbed Glenn's arm and pulled him behind a dumpster.

"Shit," Nathan cursed, his blood pumping as he spat at the ground, looking at his friend in concern. "Did you get hit?"

Glenn shook his head, and then banged it against the dumpster in frustration. Nathan couldn't blame him - he too was becoming impatient.

"They probably have a sniper," Nathan looked around the dumpster, his eyes scanning the rooftops. "I'm gonna take a look, cover for me."

"Nate, don't-"

"Cover for me." Nathan repeated, getting up and rounding the corner of the dumpster.

A car stopped in front of a building across from the bar, a man sticking his head out of the window towards another figure on top of the building.
"Let's get out of here, there's corpses all over the place!" The man in the car ordered. "Hurry up we gotta get out of here!"

"What about Shawn!?" A voice on the roof questioned.

"We gotta go! Jump!"

Nathan watched as a dark figure jumped from the roof - but a scream broke through the thick air and most definitely could attract walkers from miles. The stranger cried out for help, but his group in the car sped off instead.

Friends, huh?

Nathan was about to go back, but something within him told him not to. It was a faint quiver of a whisper, a whisper that told the small good in him to go help the stranger. He tried to rebel against it, but the whisper turned into shouts. Go help him, Nate. Don't leave him.

"Fuck!" He rebuked, roughing grabbing at his dark roots. You need to help him-

Nathan ran across the street, Rick's shouts following behind him.

When he made it there, a boy no younger than him was crying in agony on top of a dumpster, his leg impaled on the fence. Blood gushed out, and at that moment Nathan knew this guy was screwed.
"Help me!" He cried, the tears on his face shimmering in the moonlight.

All senses came back to Nathan, and he turned to run - but the others had made it to him. Knowing Rick, he would help the boy despite him being the enemy.

Luckily, Hershel seemed to be on the same page as Nathan. "We gotta go!"

"We can't leave!" Rick protested.

"They were just shooting at us!" Glenn argued, outraged.

"He's just a kid."

"The place is crawling with walkers!"

"We can't leave him!" Rick snarled, the goodness in him manipulating his survival instincts.

"Yes we can," Nathan argued, the sounds of the dead making his heart thump in his chest. "We just turn around and walk away. Easy."

Rick glanced at Nathan in both a mixture of disgust and disbelief, while Hershel examined the boy. "The fence went clean through. There's so way we can get the leg off in one piece." He shook the fence, and the boy cried out louder.

"Shut up or I'll shoot you!" Rick threatened.

At this Nate pulled out his gun and aimed at the boy's head, a determined look in the storm of his eyes. Rick's stomach dropped and he quickly shoved the brunette away.

"What the hell, man-"

"We aren't killing him!" Rick hissed.

Nathan got into his face, his upper lip curling. "What makes him any different than the men we killed?!" He demanded. "It's easier to just put him out of his misery."

Nathan aimed his pistol at the pleading boy again, but Rick pushed his gun away."We aren't killing him!" He repeated through gritted teeth.

Dark thoughts crossed the soldiers mind and he was a thread away from putting them into action, but instead he lowered his gun with narrowed eyes. "You can't be Officer Friendly forever, Rick." Nathan stated lowly, clenching his jaw tightly and backing away.

His words seemed to stick to the leader, attaching themselves onto his skin and for a second, he felt some form of omen with the soldier's statement. "The hatchet still in the car?" Rick asked, turning his attention to the two other men.

"Please don't cut my leg off-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Nathan snapped, the venom spitting from his tone and making the boy whimper in response.

Rick pulled out a knife and handed it to Hershel, the walkers behind them starting to emerge from the darkness like monsters of the night. Nathan scoffed and jogged a few feet away (Glenn following behind) and taking out his outrage with the bullets in his gun, the cries of the boy nagging at him and making his nerves become erratic.

"Come on, we gotta go!" Glenn screamed.

The boy continued to cry, his desperate pleads driving Nathan over the edge, and he was ready to say fuck you to Rick and put a bullet into the boy's heard.

But the leader had another plan in mind.

Rick gave the boy one more glance before he took the his impaled leg, and with with all the strength he can muster he forced the leg off the spike, and boy looked upwards into the night and screamed his lungs out.

━━━━━

Darkness spread around her like a fog, the moon and star her only source of dim light. Samantha didn't know how long she's been sitting on the side of the road, or how long Lori has been gone - she didn't know what she was expecting honestly.

Samantha felt incredibly stupid and guilty for not fighting through her concussion to protect Lori and her unborn child. There she was, looking like an idiot, basically an open buffer for any walker that crept by, but she also felt like she deserved it for letting a pregnant woman wander into the darkness.

Suddenly lights blinded her vision and she recoiled, hissing and trying to shield the light away with her hands. The car stopped in front of her, and a tall figure stepped out into the road. Squinting her eyes to look closer, relief flooded through her in tsunami waves once she realized it was her big brother, Shane Walsh.

"Sammy!" His footsteps hit the pavement hard as he rushed towards her, grabbing her from the ground and pulling his baby sister into his arms. The life was choked out of her but she was quickly to return it, security warming her as she awkwardly patted his bald head.

Samantha forced a weak smile. "The one and only," She stated. "You came for me."

"My sister, my responsibility," Shane reminded, pulling away from their hug.

He took a moment to scan her, noticing how fatigued she looked.

"Are you okay?" He demanded, searching her eyes and failing to wipe away the blood off of her forehead. "Where's Lori?"

Samantha bit her lip and winced upon realizing she bit into a fresh cut. "We were worried about Rick and the others, so we went to go get them and then," She paused, forcing another weak smile. "Lori should really lose her license. She gave me a damn concussion."

Shane didn't look amused, instead he looked extremely worried. "Where's Lori? Is she alright?"

"She walked off."

The worry was quickly replaced by anger. "You let her walk alone!?" Frustration crossed his face. "She's pregnant, man! If anything happens to her let me tell you something-"

"She's fine!" Samantha assured desperately, wanting that unsettling look of possessiveness to disappear from his eyes. He talked about Lori as if she were his. "She went straight ahead so she can't be that far away. Lori can handle herself."

He continued to stare at his sister, and she was sure she saw a flicker of disappointment - Samantha hoped she was wrong, she didn't want him to be disappointed in her not ever again.

Shane turned away from her and marched towards the SUV, hopping in. Samantha took that as an invitation to follow him.

The dark trees zipped passed her window in blurs, her lips swiping the bleeding wound from her lip. Her brother was giving her the cold shoulder, and she hated his silence, remembering all the times he's done this to her before whenever she ticked him off in the past.

Samantha glanced at him, trying to catch his eyes but he was relentless. She pursed her lips and looked to the radio. "Let's see what the weather is going to be like," She mused, turning it on. Static played through the speakers. "Looks like going to be partly human with a chance of an undead herd passing by. Seems nice."

She looked for any hint of amuse on Shane's face, but he continued to stare ahead with a blank expression. He finally looked at her though. That's all she needed.

"Why didn't you ask me to go find Rick?" He questioned, sternness lacing his voice along with lingering anger. "You could've not only risked your life, but Lori and the baby. Do you know how stupid you were?"

Samantha felt anger rising through her veins, becoming defensive while knowing she deserved his scolding. "Where do you think I get it from?" She jeered.

"Don't start that bullshit."

"No, I think we should," She challenged, sitting up in the passenger seat and turning her body to fully look at him. "Because there's been a lot of bullshit lately, and it's not just the apocalypse, but it's my own brother."

"Samanatha, I'm warning you-"

"What was that shit back at the barn, big brother? You massacred Hershel's family-"

"They were walkers!" Shane fumed.

"It still wasn't your place to rip them away like that, especially on someone else's land!" Samantha countered. "Don't you see? Denial is part of the five steps of grief, you jackass! Hershel was going through something in his own, maybe disturbing way! And then when Sophia came out you couldn't even finish what you started like a coward!"

Samantha saw how tight Shane gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles begin to whiten, but she knew somewhere deep inside of him he knew she was right.

"I'm just trying to protect you." He said lowly.

"That's not the only thing you're trying to protect."

It took Samantha a minute to realize what she said, and when she did she wanted to take it back. Shane kept glancing at his baby sister and at the road, his dark eyes searching mine in confusion at my accusation.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He demanded, but deep down he already knew the answer.

Shane could see how she was looking at him differently - and it killed him to see how much he was actually hurting her. She is the last person on this damned planet that he wants to hurt.

There was an army of words hidden behind his teeth, curse and wretched. Samantha knew the truth, but she needed him to say it, also wanting him to deny everything and assure her it's not true, make her believe that her brother wasn't a stranger wearing his skin.

She was in vain.

"Shane, ever since Otis died you haven't been the same," Her brother looked away and back at the dark road, expecting her words as a muscle ticked in his jaw at the faint memories of that haunting night. "Please, tell me what's happened Shane, so I can help you through whatever you're going through. I don't want to lose you."

"You aren't going to lose me."

"Then tell me!" Samantha pleaded, tears overwhelming her. "Did you kill Otis?"

Silence.

She stared at her big brother, trying to search his eyes but he remained impassive. His face was hard, his shoulders squared up, hiding the truth that made his soul ache. Samantha's heart beat in her chest, rattling her bones and causing the anxiety to build up in the pit of her stomach-

Shane nodded his head.

Her mouth dropped open in shock, the image she had of her brother shattering right before her eyes. He was supposed to deny it, he was supposed to tell her everything was okay and he was the old Shane. Her brother would never have the capacity of such cruelty and deceit.

But he nodded his head.

"We do what we can do to survive, and sometimes being good doesn't take that."

A ball of nausea rose from her stomach and into her throat. She felt like she was suffocating in a sea full of revelation. "Stop the car." She demanded, and without question he did. She flew out of the vehicle, doubling over in the grass and letting out every emotion from within her.

Disappointment.

Shock.

Horror.

Revelation.

Words that were meager things and fell short. The truth casted cold shadows over her, making her veins feel icy like the snow that fell on a winter day.

Shane and Nathan had dipped their fingers into the blood of the innocent, something that they had protected before - an irony that consumed her.

Samantha felt a hand on her back and she immediately whipped around, slapping his hand away with a glare. "You killed an innocent man." She hissed.

"It had to be done-"

"Bullshit!" Samantha interjected, rubbing her head furiously. "You lied to his family, and not only that but you lied to me. Killing him wasn't the only option-"

He grabbed her elbow roughly, saying, "Get in the car!" But she ripped away, her face screwed up in outrage.

"You always wanna play the big brother, huh? The one that protects everyone? Well guess what, jokes on me you're just a selfish dick!"

"I made you a promise!" Shane argued, rubbing his head angrily. "I had to get back to you!"

"Promise me you'll come back."

"I promise."

His words formed plot twists into her story and it made her more sick. She was looking for her big brother in his eyes, but all she saw was his catalyst for disaster.

That horrified her more then anything.

"I didn't ask you to do that," She whispered, stepping away from him. "Who are you?"

"C'mon, Sammy, don't be like that."

He took a step towards her, reaching forward but his face dropped when she staggered back again. Her movements made his heart drop, hurt shattering it into pieces. "What? You think I'm a monster now?" Shane questioned, his voice going quiet. "Are you scared of me?"

He tried reaching for her, but the look on her face made him stop. It was as if she was looking at a a ghost, and Shane was a graveyard full of that.

"Jean used to say..." She was fumbling with her words, tears running down her cheeks. "She used to say that I wouldn't recognize you one day. That used to scare me the most out of her stories."

Sudden, white hot anger roared within him. "Jean mentally abused you!" He belted, memories resurfacing of finding his sister crying in a dark closet, the birthplace of her hatred for silence and her insomnia - the birthplace of his resentment for his grandmother.

But as soon as he was brought back to reality by Samantha flinching at his outburst, everything within him stopped. His features softened, his mouth parting but he was unable to say anything. The girl he raised as if he were his own, the last thing that was of his parents, was frightened of him and he was the author of it.

Shane reached forward, and this time she did not cower. They embraced, Samantha clinging onto her brother and sobs being muffled into his chest, the sounds horrid to her brother's ears and making his own eyes well up - but he wouldn't let such a thing happen. He needed to be not something damned but something strong for her.

The blood beneath Shane's fingertips was hard to clean, but the siblings knew if they had one another, salvation wouldn't be so hard to achieve.

They were wrong.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟnote

it's getting closer and i'm not prepared to write what's going to go down

words ; 5060
edited ; ✔️