CHAPTER FORTY,
trust

THE BREEZE THAT swept from her office's open window felt like cold hands keeping the heat from making her sweat. She could hear the faint tunes that the birds sung, keeping her from the silence she didn't want to endure.

Her last client of the day had just left - an old man who had just suffered the lost of his wife and needed counseling, and now she was just sitting there, pondering.

Samantha kept peering at the photo through her furrowed brows, theories circulating in her mind that paired with conclusions.

Elliot looked so happy and different in the photograph - an average teenage boy.

She couldn't decide if the world had changed him, or the loss that became the consequences that resulted in who he is. Maybe even both.

Something about the way the family smiled back at her twisted her insides, a whisper telling her that they were no longer in this world.

It was a strange thing that occurred to her ever since she was a child whenever she would look at memories that came as picture, her gut automatically assuming they were either dead or alive.

Samantha wiped her chin in thought, placing her bare feet onto the burgundy wood that was her desk.

She kept eying the pretty brunette with the bright blue eyes next to Elliot, a name on her tongue that she didn't speak openly but her mind did.

Rachel.

A knock on the door jerked her away from her thoughts and she almost fell from her seat, eying it as it opened and a familiar blonde stuck her head in.

"Can I come in?" Andrea asked.

"After I recover from the heart attack you gave me." Samantha said, placing a hand over her wild heart.

The older woman entered and let her eyes take in the room quizzically. "So, this is where you work?"

The brunette placed her combat boots on, standing up from her desk and placing the locket into her jeans. "Yeah, this is where all the magic happens."

Andrea smiled at her, something that Samantha has never seen directed towards her. "I bet you're happy that the Governor made your dreams come true."

Samantha crossed her arms over her chest, a cynical look contorting her expression. "Why are you here?"

The woman shrugged. "I can't say hello to you?"

"What are we now, besties?" Samantha retorted, rubbing her head. "From what I remember, we don't have a exactly friendly past."

Andrea frowned, sitting down on the arm of the couch and finding her shoes intriguing. It looked like she was contemplating.

"I know," She spoke. "That's why I'm here. Whatever happened between us, I want us to start new and not be enemies anymore."

"So, we're just going to forget I punched you?" Samantha questioned dubiously.

To her surprise, Andrea nodded.

"I probably deserved it," She said. "I shot Daryl. You obviously care about him, so you're reaction was understandable."

Daryl.

Samantha could tell she cared about him by the way she had been through most of his internal levels of Hell to give him a friend, she could tell that she cared about him by the way her heart clenched an in undeniable sadness.

And it took leaving him to find that within herself.

"You have a pretty good hook," Andrea continued, smirking. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Samantha shrugged nonchalantly. This hasn't been the first and she's pretty sure it won't be the last that someones asked her that. In high school she always had raised fists painted with bloody bruises; iron fists as they would call her.

"When you go through high school and on top of that you have a brother as a cop, you learn a few things."

The two women shared a chuckle, and it felt weird. Samantha would've never thought she would be on friendly terms with Andrea of all people.

Amy would've loved this.

"I bet he misses you so much."

The younger woman looked away, trailing to the blue skies that was outside her window. She thought about saying something witty, but it seemed that all of it left her.

Her hands felt for the locket, and that's when she was reminded of her findings. The Governor needed to know, and perhaps that would be her ticket to finally finding what she's lost.

After saying goodbye to Andrea, Samantha took to the streets. She searched for the tall figure of Philip Blake, hoping that he was somewhere close so she wouldn't have to venture all the way up to his apartment.

Turns out he was closer than she had thought.

He was on top of one of the walls Woodbury and accompanied by Merle Dixon. It looked to her that he was shooting golf balls into the desolated streets.

Before she could open her mouth to call out, the redneck had spoken first.

"I was thinkin' if taking James and Martinez out on a scoutin' mission later on this week."

"For what?" Philip questioned.

"Blondie," Merle answered. "She said ma brother was still alive, and if he's alive," There was a pause. "Maybe Samantha's bro is too, so I just might take her as well."

A smile twitched her lips, her chest warming that Merle had thought about her.

"Eight months," Philip stated as if that decided the fate of Daryl Dixon. "You can track with the best of 'em, but it's like a needle in a haystack."

"She told me where I could find that farmhouse they were holed up in." Merle continued.

Another golf ball flew into the sky. "He could be anywhere."

"I know ma brother," Merle stated. "If he's out there, I'll be able to find 'em."

"We need Samantha here, she's helping people and she's getting information on that little boy," Philip informed and the way he said her name irked her. "What if someone gets hurt on this search, huh?"

The older Dixon was a man of his own rules and his own orders. It made anger heat her skin for how obedient he was being.

"Then I'll go my own way."

"I get what you're feeling, I really do but - I can't risk it. I need you here. This place would fall apart without you here."

All composure was slowly leaving Merle, his jaw clenching and the look in his eyes darkening.

"You have Nathan," He said slowly and steadily. "This is ma brother."

The Governor glanced up at him, as if he could sense the anger rising like tides.

"Tell you what," He started. "You get more concrete information, I'll come with you myself."

Samantha was outraged. She could feel her anger coming alive like a sleeping volcano, every fiber in her petite being wanted nothing but to shove her fists into Philip. He had said the same to her, in the same exact way.

This conversation confirmed her worries. The Governor wasn't going to let her find her brother, nor was he going to let Merle find his.

She couldn't decide what pissed her off more; This revelation or the fact that Merle was letting it happen.

When Daryl found out his brother was left behind, he didn't let anyone stop him from going back to a geek infested city.

With gritted teeth and clenched fists, Samantha stepped forward. "Merle, Martinez needs to speak to you."

The two men turned around, surprised to see her presence. Merle glanced at the Governor, as if asking for permission and that seemed to make her insides rage even more.

After getting permission like a dog, the older man climbed down from the ladder and began to walk forward towards her. "Where is he?"

Samantha gestured for him to follow her, and when she made sure no one was looking she mustered all the strength from within to shove him into a nearby alleyway.

Merle hit a wall and his prosthetic arm clinked against the bricks, her ears cringing at the sharp sound.

"Didn't know you was into alleyways, girly." A crooked smirk appeared on his rough features, but it completely dropped when he saw how frustrated Samantha's face had become.

"You are the most stupidest son of a bitch I know!" She hissed, her voice low so she wouldn't attract attention to herself. "You have to know that he won't let you find Daryl."

Merle frowned, staring down at her. "I trust 'em." He stated, annoyance edging his tone.

"Just because he saved you doesn't make him trustworthy, it just means you owe him debt." Samantha retorted.

That seemed to anger him. "You don't know shit."

"Why would you trust a man who denied you of seeing your family?" Samantha pressed harshly.

That shut him up and his features twisting into defiance.

"So, what?" Her voice shook from so many emotions. "You're the Governor's little bitch now?"

"I ain't nobody's bitch." He said confidently with narrowed eyes.

"No, you're a joke is what you are," Samantha stated, shaking her head in disappointment. "You used to be so independent, never listened to anyone but yourself - right now, I'm missing that Merle,"

Her hands began to clench again, her emotions overwhelming her being. She felt like a porcelain doll and she was slowly cracking from the inside out.

Samantha was so angry, but she was so sad too.

"Daryl would be disappointed in you."

Something inside Merle dropped because there was a shift in his eyes, her words evidently bringing an effect upon the tough redneck, but he wouldn't let Samantha figure it out.

That would mean he was vulnerable.

When he finally got his shit together and looked back up, she was already gone.

━━━━━

These ghosts seemed to come back like a disease.

She could feel the memories weighing down on her, laying heavily on her heart and squeezing it painfully. It made her chest hurt, it made her eyes water.

Samantha lifted her head up from her desk, and that's when the gentle breeze made the wetness feel cool.

She was crying.

She was just a stupid girl, putting her faith and hope into a man she had barely knew. It made her so angry, so devastated.

Her heart seemed to clench harder, but it spread throughout her body and now it was her lungs.

The walls felt as if they were closing in, the panic in her buzzing inside. It was like there was spark plugs in her abdomen, the tension growing in her face and her limbs, her mind replaying her stupidity over and over again.

She fucking hated feeling so helpless.

Samantha was in her own hurricane as she hugged herself tightly, salty tears running down her face as choked sobs left her mouth. She gazed up at the ceiling, her breaths rasping and her head feeling as if it were going to cave in.

Nathan had promised her. Merle had promised her. Philip had promised her. She was sick of all these empty promises.

Samantha needed to get out of Woodbury, she needed to go. She needed to-

"Sam."

The twenty year old gasped, cupping her mouth and frantically glancing around the room. There at the window she caught something moving, something climbing until it finally crawled through.

It was Elliot.

"What the fuck," Samantha cursed and willed her tears, her heart and everything else finally calming down. The storm was over, but she knew it was going to be back. "What are you doing? We don't see each other today."

There was a look in his eye that she's never seen before.

"I know but I had no where else to go." Elliot stated, running a hand through his brown hair frantically. He seemed frenzied, something that seemed to alien on him. He was usually calm and collected.

"What do you mean-" And that's when she saw it.

Samantha noticed the blood on his knuckles, flesh clearly damaged and having been beaten into. Concern was instant, and she jumped up from her seat.

"Oh my, god," She breathed, taking his hand. Her touch was gentle, even almost motherly as she scanned his wounds.

Turning it over, she saw there was also a large cut, more red seeping out from the wound. It was nasty, surely to escalate if it weren't treated.

"We need to take you to Dr.Stevens-"

"No!" Elliot hissed, his features hardening and he jerked his hand away.

"That can get infected, we need to-"

"Sam," His voice had become quiet. "Please, if you do - he'll find me."

Samantha was bewildered. She gazed at him, trying to figure him out. She's never seen him look this desperate nor pleading.

And that's when she noticed the look in the blue of his eyes again. This time however, she could tell what emotion made him so frantic.

It was fear.

Something happened, something that caused him to have blood on his hands. Elliot was in deep shit.

"What's going on?" Samantha asked worriedly, never seeing him looked so panicked for the last two months she has known him, and quite honestly it freaked her out too.

But before he was given a choice to answer, there was a pounding at the door. Elliot jumped, glancing at the door and at the ebony haired beauty knowingly.

"They're looking for me." He whispered.

Another knock thudded her door and her heart leaped. Quickly making a decision, she ushered the teenager to behind her desk and told him to stay there until whoever it was gone.

Her greens were met with cold, dark eyes once she opened her door.

Samantha forced a mocking smile. "Are you here to finally get your psych evaluation?"

Keri's stare was unfaltering, a noticeable muscle twitching in her jaw. "Where is he?"

"Who?" Samantha retorted, furrowing her brows.

"Elliot. I know that little psychopath was here." She snapped, her hand wavering near her holster.

"You're the only one that's showed up." Samantha stated, shrugging her shoulders.

Inside her heart was going wild, rattling her bones and she was afraid it was going to tare out of her chest like the movie Alien.

The accusations were as clear as the hatred that Keri held for Samantha in her eyes. She leaned forward and peered over her shoulder.

The twenty year old's hands were starting to become clammy, and she quickly wiped them on her ripped jeans as she faked a confused look.

"Elliot is dangerous," Keri started, looking back at her. "He broke into the Governor's apartment, and when Crowley found him that little shit beat his face in,"

Samantha didn't have to put up a face of shock because it washed over her, her mouth parting open and slowly digesting Keri's words.

Samantha had to restrain from looking back at the desk knowing Elliot was there, knowing that one wrong move can expose him.

That's why his knuckles were so mangled looking. She's been there before, and she felt stupid for not recognizing it.

He didn't have anybody to protect him, but Samantha was going to be that person.

"And if I see him I'll let you know." She spoke, the smile plastered across her face painful and aching her muscles.

Satisfaction was lacking in her features and her burning eyes ranked Samantha up and down.

For a second, she wondered what it would've been like if the universe let them be friends. Maybe in another reality they could've been.

Keri was looking over Samantha's shoulder and a loud noise of disbelief left her lips before turning on her heel and stomping away.

Samantha waited until her footsteps faded down the hall until she slammed her door shut and locked it, a loud gasp like breath shaking her shoulders.

Elliot crawled from underneath the desk. "You didn't tell her?"

"What the fuck did you do?" She demanded.

He was unresponsive. Samantha approached him, her patience snapping into two and her features hardening.

"You're going to tell me what happened right now, or I'll throw you to the Governor myself."

She saw the stubbornness there, it was evident and it was swirling and blooming, but it quickly vanished and he heaved a sigh.

"The last time I knew someone was pretending, no one believed me and bad shit happened and I needed to get proof this time," His voice was low, a faint murmur that she almost couldn't decipher.

Samantha furrowed her brows. Last time?

Elliot sat on the couch, his hand running through his knotty hair. He looked trapped, and it made frustration burn his face.

"That man must've saw me when I crawled in, because a few minutes later he was in the room and I was on top of him," His attention fell to his bloody hand, wincing in pain when he touched it. "But I know the truth now."

Samantha stepped towards him, leaning down and looking into his eyes. The air was thick between them, suspense and anticipation flipping her stomach.

"What are you talking about?" She questioned gently.

Elliot was looking at his knuckles, the blood red and the pain there.

"There's a room in his apartment, and it was unlocked, I looked in and I saw," He paused, meeting her gaze. "He has live walker heads in tanks like some kind of sick trophy."

Samantha staggered back, that familiar feeling of her brain stuttering, trying to comprehend came over her.

"He has live walker heads in tanks."

It bounced around her skull over and over again, and she looked back at him in disbelief. "Are you sure?"

His look was confident and sincere, so hint of deceit in any of his features. Her gut told him to trust Elliot, and despite him being so heavily guarded about his past - she hasn't caught him in a lie yet.

Samantha moaned in disgust, grabbing her stomach as if that would control her nausea. This was the man she had been working for, this was the man that Nathan looked up to.

She was so, so stupid.

"That national guard they brought in? He was one of them. I don't think those military men died from biters, I think the Governor killed them," Elliot stated. "He knows that I've been suspicious, and after all that he's going to get rid of me."

Samantha turned back to him. "He'll probably just kick you out."

"No," He spat harshly. "No one leaves this place alive, that's the whole point of this town. It locks you in and feeds you this delusion that you aren't in a cage."

"Elliot-"

"If you still believe he's going to let you leave to find your group then you're not as smart as I thought you were," He continued, his accent bleeding through as the anger rises within him. "You need to help me leave, and if you aren't stupid you should get the hell out of dodge too."

Samantha looked out the window. She could hear the faint laughter of the citizens, the giggles of the children, the life that went on outside.

But Philip Blake was the author of that fictional world, and Samantha believed in the real one.

She turned to Elliot, a child that was forced to be surrounded by the ashes of who he used to be.

"Okay, but I need to go do a few things," Samantha said. "There's a building they keep the town's supplies. I need you to go there, and wait for me. Got it?"

Elliot nodded and she headed towards the door, but then she stopped and remembered the girl in the picture, the happiness on her face and on his as well.

Samantha looked over her shoulder in realization. "Rachel was your sister, wasn't she?"

He looked at her, and she looked at him.

For a moment his expression softened, the layers of grief glinting his eyes and making his lips tremble. Elliot was caught between a strong mind and a fragile heart, the boy that he thought had killed shining through and completely lost in the ruins of a world he used to be happy in.

And just like that it was gone, and that bitter coldness returned like winter.

Samantha frowned. "It's okay, you don't need to tell me. That was enough of an answer for me."

It took her a bit to realize that the slipping of his facade wasn't on accident, but it was purposely because he trusted her, and she wasn't going to let him down.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟnote

mentally prepare yourselves for the next few chapters luvs

words ; 3381
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