A/N: As usual, I would recommend putting the video on loop.

Whoever was on the couch was getting up. Panic struck all of her limbs, and she quickly looked around for the nearest object. A lamp. Some of her rationality gone, she darted behind it and gripped the stand as if her life depended on it. A head emerged from over the back of the couch. Long black hair flowed down, and it was somewhat messy due to lying on the couch. Brown eyes searched the room before they landed on (f/n) and widened. Slowly, panic started to subside, but she found that her hands gripped the lamp stand a little longer than they probably should have. Deidre sat up straight and kept the television on to drown out any sound they made hopefully, though; she doubted that it fully would block out their voices or movements. "... (F/n)," she whispered, "what are you doing out of your room?"

Steadily, she withdrew from her questionable hiding spot and came closer. "I needed a break," she whispered back. Her (e/c) eyes peered over her left shoulder. "He's asleep, and he hasn't woken up yet. Otherwise, he would be out here now." Deidre gave a doubtful gaze. "I mean it; he's not in any mood to play a game. He's taking this guarding thing really seriously." If she wasn't worried about Ether waking up and didn't know the dangers of being away from him, she probably would've sweat-dropped.

"That's why I'm worried," Deidre answered before she let out a quiet sigh. She patted the spot to her right on the couch. (F/n) took soft steps towards the area before she seated herself on the cushion. Her hands were folded on her lap, and her eyes stayed on her hands. It almost felt like her mother was scolding her when she was a little kid. "What if Nick had been out here and not me? You could've just signed his death sentence."

Shame met (f/n)'s countenance, and she didn't meet the older woman's gaze. "I know, but I ... I was getting tired of being cooped up in there and constantly having to be around him." A frown fell on her lips. "It wasn't even this bad during those seven months at my parents' house."

"Yes, but the situation is different now," she stressed as she reached back and pulled her hair together. She started to separate it and braid it into her characteristic single braid. "He's out there. We're all being cooped up and are uncomfortable. I know that you'd like to walk around the house and have more freedom, but this is dangerous." Deidre secured the braid with a hair tie. "Even though Nick isn't out here, you still are. If he wakes up ..."

"I know," she replied, cutting her off. Almost, she had yelled, and she sounded like some little brat, but she couldn't help it. She had been only allowed into two rooms for a whole month; it was driving her up the wall, and she wanted some time away from Ether. It was selfish, but so far it was working. "I'll go back soon." Deidre looked ready to argue. "Can I please just sit here for a little while? I got out of the room for once; I just want to enjoy it some. Then, I'll go back."

Pushing back some loose strands of black hair, Deidre shook her head before she smiled a little. "Fine. I suppose that we've done riskier." She smiled again before she leaned back on the couch. "After all, we did hide you from him for a little over three weeks." (F/n) sat up straight, and her eyes nearly sparkled at the older woman's words. A quiet, soft laugh parted from Deidre. "You're welcome."

Grinning a bit to herself, (f/n) crossed her legs on the couch and rested her hands on her knees. Her eyes looked to the cooking channel. Thankfully, it was going over a recipe to make chocolate cupcakes. She looked back to Deidre. "So ..." she trailed off, wondering if it would be appropriate to bring up the question. Deidre motioned her to continue. "How did you convince him to let you come close? I mean you're actually allowed in the room."

"We talked in the car." (F/n) gave her a puzzled look. "When we were coming from the doctor's." She nodded in understanding now to the older woman's words. "I told him that I appreciated him keeping you safe." (F/n) didn't respond, but shock clearly met her countenance. Quickly, Deidre clarified, "I told him that I don't support what he's done to you, but he's the only one who can keep you safe from the other creature. None of us can, and I don't think that I would have the courage to face that one alone. I don't even have the courage to take on Ether like you had."

"Oh," (f/n) answered softly. She looked down to her lap before she chuckled little and smiled. "I think that you have more courage than you're giving yourself credit for." Deidre raised a brow. "You're helping me right now. You're taking him on in that way."

Almost, Deidre sweat-dropped. "I don't know if I want this to be looked at like that." She focused her brown eyes on the television screen. "I'm helping you, but I don't think that I can defend you if he wakes up, yet ..." She sighed and appeared sorrowful. "Yet, I expect you to defend me against him."

"Hasn't it always been that way?" (E/c) optics met brown ones. (F/n) smiled reassuringly. "I've always known that with Nick, Chris, Ren and you. You four are a strong team, and you value each other more than you value me. So, you wouldn't hesitate to have me sacrifice myself so that any of you could live." Shrugging, she leaned back against the couch. "But, I'm not mad or anything. Besides, Chris has proved me wrong before, and you might do so as well. I can't count on that, but I know that all of you are extremely kind and generous."

"Aren't you the kind and generous one?" Puzzled, (f/n) motioned her to go on. Certainly, most of her past actions demonstrated how she had been selfish when making her deals with Ether. She had wanted to live so badly that she in a way had brought herself to the present even if the entire situation wasn't her fault. "With Ether now."

"I wouldn't consider myself being kind and generous to him after everything he's done. Maybe, he's better now. Maybe, I missed him and am fine with living with him now, but I can't forgive him." She leaned back and rested her head on the back of the couch. "I don't know what our future will look like, but it'll never be what Chris and Ren have. It just won't, and I don't think that I would want it to be like that." A pained smile hit her lips. "I already feel like I'm betraying everyone by admitting that I missed him, that I can't kill him. I'm no longer his murderer. I don't know what I am with him."

Her pained smile grew. "A partner? He calls me that, but I've never liked the term. I still don't, but I guess that we're ... together? Just not in the usual sense of that phrase." Momentarily, she closed her eyes so that she could breathe steadily still. Opening them again, she continued, "It's more like someone decided to chain an unbreakable chain around us. Not even Ether can break it, though; I doubt that he would ever want to."

"I'd say attach us to the chain, but I don't think that I could commit to that. I can't give you all of the support you need," Deidre responded, her fingers rubbing over the buttons on the remote to distract herself a little from how awful her words sounded.

"I already said that I know that." (F/n) leaned forward a bit to meet Deidre's eyes. Deidre looked up a little to better meet hers. "It's why I know that something between Nick and I would never work." Both of them sat up straight on the couch. "Even when my past tormentor is killed, even if Ether was killed, it still wouldn't because he wouldn't have been there for me in my time of greatest need. To him, all of you are more important." A small, understanding smile fell on (f/n)'s lips. "Which is fine since I know how selfish saying all of that is, but it's the truth. Ether has been the only one who has been able to accept every horrible decision I've made since I met him. And, I don't see that changing."

"It's not my place to say, but ..." Deidre trailed off before she locked her eyes with (f/n)'s. "But, he does love you ... Nick that is." A sad smile fell onto (f/n)'s lips, and she broke eye contact. "Since you left Faller's Grove, Chris has been mentioning here and there that Nick should pursue you." Deidre laughed a little to try and lighten the mood. "She wanted that even if she knew that it wasn't possible due to the dangers involved."

"Back in Faller's Grove," (f/n) began, intertwining her fingers on her lap, "I thought that maybe something could happen between us if Ether never had found me. It was unrealistic, but it had been a nice fantasy for a little while." A ghost of a smile fell upon her lips before it fell into a saddened state. "At least, that was until I told Nick everything. After that, I knew that I didn't love him. I couldn't because he didn't forgive everything. He couldn't give me the support that I needed."

On the television, a commercial came on. It was about some plush blanket that would keep anyone warm even out in a blizzard. (F/n) rolled her eyes at the infomercial before she stood to her feet. "I better get going." A genuine smile graced her lips. "Thanks for chatting with me, Deidre, and letting me stay out here for a bit."

"Yeah, just be careful when going back in there." (F/n) nodded, waved and began to head back. "Oh ..." The younger woman peered over her right shoulder. "(F/n), thanks for being strong for all of us. Even if we don't always show it, we're grateful." A light laugh left the younger woman, but it was genuine and appreciative.

"You're welcome. Just if you could remember that and bring me some ginger cookies, I'd really understand your appreciation," she teased to lighten the mood again. Deidre shook her head since she wasn't supposed to have anything like that on her recovery diet, but before she could say another word, (f/n) had gone around the corner. Maybe after the six week mark, she could have one since she deserved a sweet more than any of them.