Mason is illuminated by the sunrise as he hops off the ferry's gangplank onto solid ground.

I stand far above him in a watchtower, my hand on the sniper set up in one of the windows.

He seems fine. He's strolling up to the Hunter my mother sent with him on last night's mission. Thomas or something. Mason flips him off, but smiles when the man turns his back. He lets Thomas walk ahead without him, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Itchiness. One of the first signs of infection."

I jump, then whip around to face my mother. "Janani! You startled me."

She narrows her eyes. "Don't take your eyes off the boy, son."

I turn back around, watching Mason walk. Normally, I love watching Mason. But I know what she wants me to do.

She leans in close, so I can feel her warm breath on my ear and neck. "I've been hearing a nasty rumor that the two of you are involved."

"Involved? Of course not, mother. He's my Hunter and I'm his Protector. That's all."

She grabs my shoulders and rubs, too roughly. "You are not his Protector. You are the world's Protector. You'd do well to remember that, son." She shifts the sniper to follow Mason. "Even if you must protect the world from him."

I salute her, mostly out of fear. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"And do what's necessary?"

"If it comes to that," I squeak out.

She grips my shoulder, so tight I think she'll break my collar bone. "Remember, you'll save the entire world and him much suffering if you do. Your. Duty." With each word, she squeezes tighter, her thumb pressing into my collar bone.

I try not to cry out. I give a curt nod. "I'll do what needs to be done," I whisper.

She nods back and heads out the door.

I collapse to my knees, grabbing the shoulder she'd vice-gripped.

The other guys in the sentry tower say nothing, though I know they saw what happened. They'd sooner tell my mother I cried when she left then tell her not to be so... mean.

I gather myself before the tears come, and hurry from the room. As I'm leaving the watchtower, I lock eyes with Mason.

Normally, when he sees me, his face breaks into a wide smile. He should be walking towards me, waving. But now, he's staring at me with narrowed eyes. Like I've kicked a puppy or something. He doesn't make a move towards me. He shoulders his pack and heads to decontamination without a word to me.

My heart stutters and I rub my shoulder again. Does he know what my mother's asked me to do? Does he know I was made his Protector because of his parents? Because my mother wanted me to keep an eye on her worst enemies' son? Does he know I've been lying to him all these years?

I keep going, returning to my private room. My books are laid out on my desk.

I should've graduated with the others. With Sasha, and Amari, and Mason. But I didn't. I should've graduated this year too. But I didn't. Each year I fail my classes, the more my mother wants Mason assigned to a different Protector.

She wants him in the field and away from me. She thinks he's a distraction. She's just trying to protect me, but I wish she understood I don't want Mason in the field.

I might actually have to graduate this year if I don't want him going out without me. Or maybe I'll take summer classes and graduate in the fall instead. She already sent Mason out without me last night.

Maybe she wants that Tae girl to be Mason's new Protector. It would be a scandal, for sure. The last Crane assigned to a failed Protector and her snot-nosed childish Hunter.

Speaking of Tae and her snot-nosed Hunter... I see them walking together through the court-yard. They have their heads close together. Thomas looks scared, or worried, but Tae is taking his hand and smiling. His worried look doesn't go away, but he melts under her touch.

I look away and plop onto my bed. I lean over my knees and bury my hands in my hair.

I wish I could talk to Mason like I used to. I miss how things were when we first met. Before I was old enough to understand my mother's plans for him. Before I understood being his Protector meant watching him get hurt over and over.

I never understood how Sasha could date Amari knowing she was going to die. It rips me up inside every time Mason leaves the island. What could happen to him? What will he be when he comes home? Will he be infected? Or traumatized? Or a corpse?

I'm on my feet before I know what I'm doing and marching out of my private dorm. The elevator carries me down three floors. My hand freezes above Mason's door.

I want to knock.

But what would it mean? Would it be a check-up? Would it be me admitting that I don't want to kill him, even though my mother wants me to? Would it be something more than just a Protector and his Hunter?

"Tarak."

I jump.

Mason stands in the hall. His brown hair is a mess, falling in his face in some places. He's in shorts and a loose tank, showing off his muscles.

I gulp and step away from his door.

He's not wearing shoes and his skin is slightly pink. He must be coming from the shower. He always says decontamination makes him feel greasy.

"Mason," I squeak.

He rakes a hand through his hair, getting it out of his eyes. "It's... early. What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay. Did the mission go well?"

He shoulders past me, towards his door. "Yup."

I catch his arm before he can go inside. "Walk with me." I mean to make it sound like an order, but it comes out pleading.

His eyes linger on where my hand touches his arm. "Why, Tarak?"

I glance at his door. "I want to talk to you without your roommate reporting back to my mother."

He sighs and runs a hand down his face. "Alright. C'mon." He leads me back to the elevator.

We're silent inside it. The red light on the camera in the corner blazes like fire.

I keep my eyes on it, as if I'll be able to tell my mother to leave us alone with my eyes.

Once we're out of the dorms, I lead him into the maze.

It's meant for training, but it's graduation week. The only people in here are people getting drunk or making out. Or people who want to have a conversation without the cameras watching our every move.

Mason doesn't start.

I guess that's fair, since I dragged him out here barefoot at dawn. "What happened last night?"

"You can read my full debrief in the morning. I was very thorough."

"I don't care about the debrief. Are you okay?"

He glowers at the ground. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Why're you acting cold?"

He stops walking. "What are you doing, Tarak?"

I stop too, turning to face him. "What? I just want to know that you're doing alright. It was your first mission and-."

"And you want to tell your mother everything?"

I flinch. "I thought you weren't angry about that?"

He sets his jaw and looks to the ground. "I thought I wasn't."

I step closer.

He steps back.

It stings more than it should.

I'm not supposed to care about him. My mission, my duty, is to kill him if, or when, he gets infected. My mother seems to think he's destined to be infected.

But he's always been kind to me, even before his crush developed. He never cared about who my mother was or my powers. I guess we were in the same boat with that, so he never wanted to make it a big deal.

Things used to be good between us.

I step forward again and grab his arm before he can slip away. I hold him, tightly, in both hands. I can't think of anything to say. I just want to keep him here. I don't want him in the field. I don't want to lose him. If I hold him, just like this, forever... maybe I won't lose him.

"Tarak," Mason murmurs.

When I look up, he's watching me.

His expression is soft. Like how it usually is. Gentle, and kind, and caring. He licks his lips. "I'm putting in a transfer. For a new Protector."

My hands fall to my sides. A numbness spreads outwards from the center of my chest. "I thought-." My voice catches. I force the swell of tears down my throat, even though it makes it burn. My eyes sting. "I thought you said it didn't matter how long I took to graduate? Unless that was a lie too?"

His expression is still soft. It's still kind.

Even though he's being so cruel.

"It's not about you graduating, Tarak. I just... It's me."

I shove his chest. Harder than I mean to.

He doesn't even stumble, and it makes me angry.

It makes me pissed.

I shove him again with a shout.

He catches my wrists and holds my hands away from him with ease.

Even though his strength is less than all the Hunters, he's still stronger than me.

"Don't you dare say that," I hiss. "It's 'not you, it's me'. What a load of crap!"

"Tarak," he warns, his grip tightening.

"No! I don't care how badly you want to run off and die for the Academy! You don't belong to them!" He doesn't belong to me either, but I can at least try to keep him here. To keep him safe. "I am your Protector!"

He shakes his head. "You can't be. Not anymore."

I thrash against his hands. I want to go feral and bite him.

My mother would be ashamed if she could see me now. But she's been ashamed my entire life. Since the second I was born, she's been ashamed.

Mason is the one thing I dared to hope for in my life. The one damn thing. And now he's saying I can't even hope for him.

"You can't just get rid of me," I hiss. "I'm the best Protector you're going to find. I don't care if I have to work all summer! I'll graduate right now if I have to! I can go into the field with you if you're so eager to die!"

His hands dart out and grab my shirt. He hoists my feet off the ground and shoves me into a bush.

The bush threatens to swallow me, but he keeps a tight grip on me.

He's pressed so close; I can smell his teakwood soap. His nose touches mine and my heart threatens to beat out of my chest.

"It's not about you graduating," he snarls. "Not everything's about you, Singh."

I nearly sob. I want to tell him that's not fair. I'm not her. I'm not my mother. I'm not my last name. Isn't it obvious? I'm a Protector. I'm not a damn Hunter like the rest of them. I'm barely even a Singh. But would it be true to tell him that? When I would kill him for her approval? When I would shoot him, like a dog in the street, just so she'd smile at me?

"Then, what?" I whisper. "Why don't you want me?"

He eases me down, onto my feet. His expression is soft. His hands smooth out my shirt. He's still standing so close.

I have to tip my head back to look up at him. I would only have to press onto my tip toes to clear the gap between us.

Or he could lean down a few inches, and take my lips with his.

He inches closer, and I think he'll kiss me. I think he'll finally end this exhausting dance we've been doing for months. Him wanting me. Me wanting him. Neither of us daring to make the first move. Me terrified of what happens if one of us does.

"You think I don't want you?" he asks, in a quiet, tight voice.

I nod, our noses brushing.

He licks his lips, and his tongue almost darts against my lips too.

I lean closer. I feel the heat of his hands near my hips, as if he wants to touch me, but he's still holding back.

"That's the reason," he whispers, closing his eyes. "You can't be my Protector, Tarak. Because I want you."

He said it.

He said it, and everything's different now, because he said it.

But it's not different in the way I want it to be.

Because he's pulling away, and he's leaving me there, with my heart in my throat.

And he'll put in a transfer for a new Protector as soon as the offices are open.

He said it, and everything's different. But everything's worse.