Shayba's P.O.V.

I woke up in my hostel room with an awfully calm mood. Previous week has been extremely busy for studies and today our exam starts. Praying Fazar, I went to the balcony and heard the birds' chirping. The weather is perfectly fine today and the breeze is soothing SubhanAllah. I recited the last part of Surah Baqarah and took deep breaths.

Having some time alone for myself, I came to the room and combing my hair, tied it into a bun. I looked at my figure in the mirror and sighed. All these hijabs, all this covering, all my attempts to keep my chastity and all my lowering gazes are coming to an end soon for that one single person. It's not like I didn't dream of a life with my future husband before, but now that my fantasy has a face and name to it, and I have a ring in my finger that continuously screams as the proof of our engagement, it has suddenly become scary. Now that I know the person, it scares me how different reality is going to be from my teenage fantasy, I'm afraid to be disappointed in him.

I got refreshed and woke Nadia and Farhana up for the breakfast. One of our maids in the hall brought us the food as discussed to our room because we don't have much time to get ready and head downstairs just for breakfast. Our exam is at 10 a.m., so we have still a few last hours for preparation. Allah knows how I'm going to score this time as my mind is constantly preoccupied with Abir. No, not in a romantic sense, but rather in a terrified bridal mood for which I can't even lie in peace until the marriage is completely done but then won't be able to rest either because there are still so many things to cope with after marriage! Oh God!

Trying to clear things from my mind, I opened my lecture sheets and concentrated on maths instead.

But later, the three hours of exam passed in just a blink. When I returned to my room, I saw a couple of missed calls from my mom and sister. So I called back, "Assalamu Alaikum. Mom, you called?"

"Yes! Where were you all this time!? I've been calling you since morning for the wedding shopping!"

My mouth hung open as I replied, "Mom, today was my first exam! You should have known that! How can you forget?!"

"Huh? Oh boy, I actually forgot. How was your exam?"

"Fine, Alhumdulillah."

"Anyway,"she quickly drifted to the topic she wanted, "So come home now. We have to go shopping."

I literally face palmed myself at the irony. "Mom, my next exam is just on the day after tomorrow! You know I have to study now! How can you ask me to join shopping for my wedding? Is my exam of no importance to you? Is my wedding the only thing that matters?"

"Now, don't give me those dialogues. You will get plenty of exams in life but wedding happens only once in a lifetime."

I gasped hearing her as my lips couldn't articulate any answer to her logic. Wow!

"I'm hanging up mom. Please go with Annaba and complete your part of shopping. I will come over when I get some time Ing Sha Allah."

"What?! At least tell me your preferences! Abir's mom wants to buy your dress with you. At the same time, I will take Abir for his Sherwani."

"Do whatever you like. Allah Hafiz."I hung up before she could complain anymore. Oh Allah, give me patience!

The weekend approached quite quickly when I got a one week break and therefore returned home. These days I have tried my best to ignore him and he has tried too not to talk to me in front of people. But now I can't hide anymore. I have to go shopping with him.

Reaching home, mom screamed at me to get ready because Abir's mother is coming in a few minutes with some wedding card samples to choose from. I quickly got refreshed and changed into my blue kameez when the bell rang. Applying a little bit moisturizer and light pink lipbalm, I lightly wrapped my scarf around my head and descended downstairs, not having the slightest thought that the guy in question was also going to be present in the living room.

I took the tray of snacks from the kitchen and entered the room with a bright smile, "Assalamu Alaikum aunty!" My smile immediately vanished when my eyes met his. Why on Earth is he here?! Damn! I didn't properly wrap a hijab! Is all my hair hidden? Oh God, I look hideous now. I wear this dress at home and the sleeves do not even reach my wrists! I felt almost naked without my abaya and niqab.

"Walaikumus Salam Shayba! I guess it was pretty unexpected of you to see the groom here haha!"she concluded seeing my state as everyone laughed aloud. Great.

"Umm well, yes, kind of aunty."I quickly put the tray on the table, "You guys talk, I'm coming in few minutes."saying this I almost ran to my room and breathed. I felt so utterly embarrassed.

Standing before the mirror, I fixed my hijab. Argh!! Why did he have to come too? I was fine enough to choose a wedding card! Couldn't mom at least inform me?

I put on a thin blazer on my kameez so that it reaches my wrists. Then I came downstairs finally to talk everything out.

As his mom already brought a few selected ones to choose from, my job was easy. I opted for the Dark Prussian blue one and to choke me out, the guy in question shouted all on a sudden, "Great!! I chose the same one!!! I knew you would like it anyway."

Rolling my eyes, I barely calmed down in a while and replied, "It's a pleasure for me as well."

The card part went quite smoothly, but later I could only find chaos around me. I was barely done with my exams, when mom picked me up from University and took me shopping. From customizing our dresses, to book an appointment in the parlour and ordering the jewelries, I couldn't even find a second to breathe. Everything around me just made me feel more restless than before.

"Shayba, where would you prefer to get married? You have any hall preferences?"

"Mom," I mumbled in fear knowing what the response was going to be, "Can we perform the nikah in a mosque and then the ceremony in a hall maybe?"

"Are you kidding me?! Who on earth gets married in a mosque? At least none from our classes for sure! Is it a prayer or something? Shayba, it's marriage! You only get it once in your life. And your parents will make it magnificent for sure, keep that in mind."

I could reply nothing. I had to go with the flow of my family and in laws and agree to get the nikah done in a majestic hall.

Am I liking what's going on? No, not at all.

"Shayba, which colour would you like to wear?"

"Something dark, yet simple. Umm let me guess, I'd prefer Burgundy, mom."

Well yes, she kept my choice of colour, but it was definitely not going to be simple.

"Who would you like to do your makeup from?"

"I haven't thought about it yet, mom."

"You know Abir is going abroad tomorrow?" Mom asked.
"Hmm? No, I didn't hear of it."I awkwardly replied.
"Well he has a very important meeting to attend, you know H2O is such a big company. So, he and his secretary, what was his name? Mahmud I guess, are going to Singapore tomorrow. He will drop by India too as far as I have heard."
"Ok, that's new information."
"I can't believe he didn't tell you this by his own!"
"Why does he have to tell me that? It's his own business." I rolled my eyes and rather concentrated on folding my clothes.
"What do you mean why?! You are his fiance! Getting married in less than two weeks! Who else is he going to tell this to? His students?"

Well I AM his student.

I ignored and came upstairs as I knew I was going to lose the debate with her anyway. But later that night, I unexpectedly got a call from him, still showing me on the screen "Zawad Sir".

Oh my dear God, should I receive this? Why is he calling me? Would it be rude if I ignore?

Hesitating for a couple of seconds, I picked up the phone as Annaba was not in the room to burn me with her comments.

"Assalamu Alaikum."
"Walaikumus Salam. I can't believe you received my call!"exclamation was clear in his tone.
I suppressed my annoyance and replied, "Why have you called?"
"Do I still need to have a reason?"And I bet he is smirking over the phone on me right now.
"Yes you do, otherwise I'm hanging up."
"Okay okay, geez! Listen! Don't hang up on me. I'm going to Singapore tomorrow on a business trip."
I know that already. But I didn't express that, "Oh."
"That's it? Just oh?"
I face palmed myself, "How long are you going to be there?"
"3 days."
"Okay. Stay safe. Fi Amanillah."I concluded as I really had no idea what else to tell, but he reacted instantly, "Aw that's so cute! At least someone other than my mom will worry for me too if the plane crashes."he chuckled.

I boiled in perturbation this time, "What.....! What kind of talking is that? Are you out of your mind? Don't you dare talk about such nonsensical stuff before your trip."

He laughed aloud for successfully making me annoyed, "Yeah okay, sorry."

"And for your information, I'm not worrying. That's just a gentle reply I could give."I clarified myself.

"Yeaaah, I can see that."he laughed again, "So! What should I bring for you?"

"Hmm? Nothing! Why are you even asking me?"

"Shayba, it's completely normal to ask my fiance what she wants before I'm going abroad for a few days. You need anything?"

"Absolutely nothing!"I stressed on my words, "Just go and come back safe."I bit my tongue because my last words sounded way too anxious and wife-like, and I could guarantee he was going to make fun of me for this again. Damn!

I heard his soft chuckle, "Ing Sha Allah I will. Keep me in your prayers."

"Ok Allah Hafiz."I quickly replied and immediately cut the call. Damn it stupid! You could just say Absolutely nothing! Why did you have to add the last part? Unbearable!

I went to dinner at night and mom informed me all on a sudden that she and Abir's mom decided together to choose my dress from a renowned Indian designer's showroom and wow, they told the groom himself to carry out their plan.

"Mom, are you crazy?!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"How on Earth would he know what kind of dress I need?!"

"Relax. I told him. Annaba even sent him an image of the colour, so that he doesn't make a mistake. No need to worry."

"Mom you don't understand what I'm saying! He has no idea about girl's dress for sure! He doesn't know what is comfortable for me. He doesn't even know I need full sleeves! He has no idea about my choice of simplicity! He even doesn't know my measurements! How can you give him such a responsibility?!"I freaked out.

She gave me an unbelievable look and shook her head, "It's going to be fine. I will send him the measurements. If you can't trust him with just a dress, how are you going to trust him forever with your life?"

I scrunched my eyebrows, is she out of her mind? "You know, I'm warning you mom. If the dress is anyhow short or has short sleeves or any part of it is see-through like a net, I'm not wearing it."

"Yeah okay, whatever."she waved her hand and rather focused on other problems than my whining.

Oh Allah, I'm already tired...

Days after days passed. The groom was back to Dhaka. The shopping was almost done. I moved to my home permanently instead of staying in the hostel for the last week of my maiden life to have a safer and more peaceful environment. These days, I have to wake up early and have a healthy breakfast like milk, fruits and nuts instructed by mom to have a glowing skin. Then do absolutely nothing but give my body a rest for the sake of my mom. And I couldn't deny the fact that I absolutely loved the dress the groom bought for me by himself. I didn't want to admit it, but I had to. It was dark, crimson in colour, not the exact shade of burgundy I wanted, but still beautiful. The fabric was of velvet mostly, and it only added to the elegance. The golden intricate design was standard, but way too gorgeous for my choice. I wanted a simple one, but it was far away from being simple, a really catchy one for the eyes.

But the main concern of mine nowadays was the people of my university. Don't know how but the news of my marriage was floating in the air. So obviously I was enquired now and then about it and it was soon becoming impossible to hide my groom's identity anymore. I felt like a thief for having chosen by this damn guy for marriage. It could be anyone normal, why him out of all the people? Why someone who is a crush of my classmates, and probably of juniors and seniors too? Why do I have to hide the news of my wedding? I am not eloping with my boyfriend or something. It's completely an arranged marriage. Then why do I have to carry such a guilt that I am deceiving people and breaking their trust? How are they going to react when I break the information to them?

I knew I couldn't hold it any longer. The more I was delaying, the worse their reaction was going to be. So as per discussion with the groom himself, I broke the news to my classmates and suddenly there was pin-drop silence in the class. I was terribly afraid, yet I nodded in the affirmative, "Yes, it's him."

"Shayba, are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."I murmured. "He was the one who proposed, you know guys, you have seen him talking."

And the result was as expected. A chaos begun, some girls rushed to me for an attack, a slap maybe, but my friends protected me. The whole university knew gradually. I was being cursed and verbally abused from everywhere I went. It broke me from the inside and the outside.

"Look, wearing such a burqa and niqab to prove herself so pious! And look what she did! Who knew there was a snake under the veil?"

"You know what? Girls who wear such decent clothes are always proved to be the lousiest ones."

"I can't believe Zawad Sir fell for her charms!"

"Who knows what she did when she was asked to go to the teacher's room?"

Their comments completely broke me, even though I could predict it before. I don't know how to take it any longer. Their words give me nightmares. I don't know how I'm going to put up with their behaviour along with all this wedding stress. Abir knows some people are rooting against me, but the situation is far worse than what he thinks. Students are like angels in front of him, but only I know what I have to go through now which I decided not to tell him. His defensing me will only add to my sufferings. Today is the last day of my attending classes before the wedding, so I decided to distribute the cards and then vanish.

While I tiptoed my way to the class with a pile of wedding cards in the bag, I sighed. Nothing in this wedding do I appreciate. Nothing seems appealing to me. Only except for the fact that I like the person who I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

This was going to be an extremely happy news but instead, people are enraged with me.

I wanted to have a simple nikah in the mosque with only my family and close people. But contrarily, thousands of people are going to be invited to see me with a pile of makeup. Non mahrams are going to take my pictures. My parents and his mom are spending a fortune on this one single wedding, on the decoration, jewelries, catering and many more useless traditions.

I still feel questions why this guy, out of all girls proposed to me. What did he see in me? When did I ever give him hopes of a relationship? And how is he going to turn around when we are officially knotted? Sometimes I feel so confused about this whole decision, I don't understand if it is really something bad that is warning my heart, or it is the devil that is playing with my sanity.

So, every night I fell in suzood and sincerely prayed to my Lord for blessing me with the best, but went to sleep with a restless heart. Maybe this is what wedding jitters mean. An anxious, confused girl, constantly questioning her future, but doing a lot of expensive shopping, getting castigated by other girls for stealing their crush, still falling for the man in question slowly everyday.

Help me my Lord. Help me to have patience and faith in You. Bless us both in our marriage if it is good for us. Only You know what was written in our fates thousands of years ago.

_____________________________________________

Assalamu Alaikum my lovely people!😃

On a different note of this chapter,

💙Today I want to share a great news Yay!
INFATUATED won the 3rd place of Spotlight Awards Season 2 in Spiritual category!
Thanks to all of you for your continuous support and votes. It wouldn't have been possible without you to come this far, my readers. I love you guys. My heartfelt prayers are with you.💙

And also, I'm having various thoughts about the new cover with 2 stickers of awards we have won. Please let me know what you think about it. Bye bye!