Shayba's P.O.V.

October 23

It's my birthday. Although I have never even once celebrated this day since I was in grade six as I came to learn about Islamic perspective then. I forbade mom and dad to bring me gifts or arranging parties. At first Annaba and Bhaiya used to shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my ears exactly at 12 a.m. and showered a thousand gifts upon me. But later they both realized the meaning of my apathy to celebrate birthdays and so decided not to bother me anymore regarding this. Annaba left her one's celebration too eventually.

Whether we execute this day or not, the truth is this day has always remained special to me. This is why every year I secretly spend my savings I collected for the past year to bring smile on some unprivileged faces. This little gesture makes my day a special one without involving others in it.

This year it is more important to me because my year final exam starts today. The first exam is on Soil Mechanics in which I do not excel at all. I prayed to Allah for helping me both in the earth and the hereafter after Fazar's prayer.

My exam started at 10 a.m. and the bell rang at 1 p.m. This was better than I expected. In a happy mood, I came out of the campus alone and decided to do some shopping.

I have often seen three little boys outside my varsity who sell flowers in the street. I've talked with them sometimes about their regular days and daily income. To be honest I couldn't resist lamenting when I got back to my hall. What they told me was in short like this, these three are siblings where the eldest is maybe 10 years old or so I guess. Their mother had been diagnosed with cancer and so they had to leave studying in order to earn money so that she can get proper treatment. Their dad has already abandoned them which made their mother their only support in this world. This is why these three are unanimous to do anything, literally anything, for her medication.

I just listened to their story quietly and the truth hit me hard. I perceived that Allah has granted me so blissful a life that I can't even imagine! I still am dependent on my parents' earning nevertheless treated like a mistress when I get back home. Being a bit introvert and reserved, I hardly wish for something from my parents. But when I do once, they don't say me anything, rather act as if it was a blessing on them that 'Shayba wanted something!' They do anything within their limits to keep my chin up. And these kids???? They have already been through so many difficulties that they know how to suffer, how to struggle and how to encounter the storms in life and win it over.

That is why I've resolved to have my lunch with them on this birthday. But first I need to buy some gifts for them. By the blessings of Allah,I've saved quite a handsome amount of money this year. So I entered the mall and bought three shirts according to their size in my notion. I wanted to help their mother the most but I really didn't know how to assist a cancer patient. Having a little fight within myself deciding whether I should buy a sharee for her or give those kids some money for her treatment, I concluded with buying a beautiful cotton sharee. I decided to give the rest of my money to the kids as a gift though I have little certainty that they will accept it from me. Then finally after completing the shopping, I went to the junction point of the road in search of them.

"Will you join me in the lunch please???"I curiously asked the kids when I found them in their usual roaming place.

They stared at me with uttermost suspicion but said nothing.

"Pleease??? I mean if you are not busy... I just wanted to have a lunch with you in that restaurant. Will you join me please?"

Still they kept looking at me dubiously.

"Come on! It's my birthday. Don't upset me.. Pleeease??" I said making my eyes convincing, the trick that I learnt from Annaba.

Hearing me,a beautiful smile played on their lips all on a sudden."That restaurant??"asked the eldest one.

"Yes! That one!"

"You'll buy the meal?"

"Yes!"I reply excitedly.

"But for what?"

"Because it's my birthday and I want to cut my cake with you."

"Why?? You don't have.. any friends?" The youngest one murmured with his broken pronunciation.

I chuckled hearing him and pretended to pout in gloom,"Nope!"

"Ok then! I'll cut your cake with you."

"Yeippiiii!! Let's go!"I exclaimed and in no time we were inside the beautiful Chinese restaurant.

Sitting on the table,I ordered for some delicious food and a small cake. My mind is full of peace and jest today. Firstly because it's a special day for me. Secondly because some kids are grinning from ear to ear because of me. And third but most importantly is because I did a whole bunch of shopping today but not a single guy glanced at me in evil eyes. I thanked Allah thousand times for guiding me to the right path. This veil is guarding me from so many harmful things that I can't even imagine! Dear future husband, one day you'll be proud of me!

When our food arrived, I served that in their plates and we began to quickly gulp down everything as we all were famished till now. Moreover, the food here is really mouth watering.

"Yes. Don't worry. Just cooperate with me in this project. I can guarantee your profit too."
Hearing someone speaking so formally in English my eyes voluntarily peek a quick glance to my right only to receive an instant electric shock finding Zawad bhai in that table. What on earth is he doing here?!?

He is alone. But all suited up sitting with a laptop on the table attending a video call as if he were in a formal meeting of some big big company. What about this get up huh?

Masha-Allah he is looking handsome in this suit! My mind for one second fluttered at the sight and I immediately turned frontwards. Ya Allah forgive meee!! What am I even thinking?? Astagfirullah!

I quickly glanced down to concentrate on my food and hid my iPhone in my bag so that he doesn't know about my appearance here. I then started to speak in a lower tone with the kids so that they do not suspect my attitude either.

But what is he actually doing here? Is he giving some kind of interview? Nooo, he doesn't look like an applicant. And he is still studying by the way. Why would he apply for a job? On the contrary, he was talking business just now. Something about a project. He was the one who was assuring them their benefit!

I heard him talking again,"Thanks. I really appreciate your support."

And then a voice came through the laptop,"Mr. Khan, it's our bonanza to deal with your company. We eagerly look forward making this deal with you."

Who is Mr. Khan? There is no one else here!

I peeked again to find him smiling at the screen,"Sure. Deal then. I'll be there in the next week."

"Sure Sir. Thanks a lot."

He is Mr. Khan???? Since when?? I forgot his full name already. Something Zawad.... Zawad Khan? Well, probably.

He nodded and cut the call. I then heard him releasing a long sigh while shutting down the laptop.

I quickly put my full attention on my plate but could see through the corner of my eyes that he was leaning back on the chair rubbing his forehead with eyes closed. He looks damn exhausted. But what was he doing here actually? Running his family business? What kind of merchandise does his family have that he makes deal with foreign countries where he himself is not present there? Man seriously! How can a person manage both his business and studies at the same time? How can he handle his meetings from Dhaka? And to be honest, he never talks about his personal affairs with anyone even though he owns a trade. What is the need for such privacy? Why did he attend the meeting secretly in a restaurant being all formal?

Questions flew in my head at a stream. Suddenly I heard a chair moving and looking to my right, I found him going away.

Oooookay! Now it is time to give some time to the kids. All this time I was thinking head over heels for a guy who has no connection with my affairs. Specially that guy from whom I myself am running away everyday. What the heck has happened to me??

I chit chat with the kids for ten more minutes as well as inquire about their mom. Finally, cutting the cake and distributing the gifts, we came out of the restaurant and walked apart to our own destinations. It feels so peaceful to see people smile knowing that the reason behind this smile is I, myself.

As it's been already afternoon,I directly went to the library to peruse in a group with my friends. I was completely taken aback to find Zawad bhai studying alone in a corner table. He was just in a formal suit talking about business a while ago and now it's like he doesn't even know what happened before! As if he never went to the restaurant but his ghost did!

Does he have a TWIN?!?!! Or else how can someone so popular like him change his suit so quickly into casual ones without gaining others' notice??? And the real thing is what was he actually doing over there?

I had no idea that I was looking at him all the time until Farhana shook me hard, "Oye! Why are you looking at Zawad bhai for so long???? What have you been thinking all this time??"

I nodded my head quickly in the negative, "N-n-no,it's nothing. I was just... lost in my thoughts."

"What thoughts?"

Caught. Hence not knowing what to say, I kept silent. I don't know if I should tell them or not what I saw today because I have a feeling that Zawad bhai doesn't want others to know about his doings. He is probably hiding the fact that he is handling a business beside studying. Now I remember, I know the reason very well too. The faculty and his fellow classmates may not be in favour of him to give the post of varsity lecturer if they know he has his own business to earn his bread as well as live an elegant life.

As there was no reply from me, Farhana again asked frowning, "Shayba???"

"Huh? Yes?"I turned being shocked again hearing my name.

"What happened to you? What have you been pondering on lately??"

I sighed."Nothing much really. I was just thinking who our next department teachers will be."

"Well I don't know who it will be but it is for sure that Zawad bhai won't get the position. I've heard his grades have declined than before. He can't beat others who are competing heart and soul for this since the beginning, can he?"

My heart sank deep down hearing the news. I recalled the moment when he asked me how it feels when one's dream shatters into pieces. As far as I imagine, this guy is definitely trying his best to keep his mother happy. He is dedicating his fullest to her. Now it will be really heart breaking to watch him leave his own choice onlu in order to save his business and family reputation.

Allah, please grant his wish true. Unknowingly my heart whispered a prayer.

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I studied all along with my friends till my eyes fell on my watch.Oh Allah! It's 9:00 p.m! I had no idea where time went while studying. Its good to see that finally I'm giving some attention to my studies after so many days. Because for attending the final exam and passing it with distinction, I seriously need to focus now.

Although Nadia has already gone to sleep and Farhana says she will study more. So I arranged my notes and slowly slowly came out of the study room. I have to go back to my room,pray Salah get my supper and have a sound sleep. As soon as I stepped out of the building, a solemn voice just behind my ears spoke scaring the crap out of my soul.

"Why are you outside at this hour?"

I was electrified as I turned back with a tremble and yelled,"Zawad bhai!!! You scared meee!!!"

He backed off and answered in a defensive way, "Why? What did I do?"

"Argh..! Whatever..... I was studying here."

"Oh."

Well what else? It was total silence as he kept walking beside me without uttering anything. Why is he following me???

"Do you wanna say something?"

"Hmm?? Nope." he continued walking looking at the concrete path.

O..kaaayyy... "Then why are you following me??"

"I'm not following you. I'm walking on my own way."

Why such a grumpy tone? Is he still enraged or upset with me?

"Hey can I ask you something?"I tried to change the uncomfortable atmosphere and so my over curious heart popped up.

"WHAT?"he decelerated his pace.

"What kind of business do you run actually?"

He seemed surprised. And the next moment his face beamed for laughing as he enquired, "Why? It seems someone is finally interested to talk to me?"

What the...!

"What do you mean??! Forget it. You don't need to answer that." I expressed with vexation.

"Hahaha!"he grinned. "Ok fine. I'll tell you. But first tell me why suddenly so curious about me??

"Actually I witnessed your meeting in the restaurant today."

His footsteps immediately ceased. He stared at me with astonishment in his eyes. "Well.... I didn't... Notice... You there.." he continued walking.

"Yeah I know."

"How much did you hear??"

Hehhh???? What kind of question is that???

Being surprised, I answered humorously,"Nothing much really. Why?? Were you doing something illegal??"

"No it's not like that."

Then again silence. What's wrong with him??? He spoke no more either about this topic or anything else. I assume he is really devised about something.

"Is anything wrong Bhaiya? You look tensed. You can share with me if you want to."

He gave a puzzling peek at me not replying for a minute.
"Why? Can you change my mood?"

What's wrong with this guy all on a sudden? I was just being courteous.

"Well I don't know, but I can at least listen to your problem."

He huffed. "I don't know Shayba. Everything seems hazy nowadays. I'm pixilated. I don't know what I should do. Keep trying to pursue my goal or choose my family business. I just...."he sighed loud,"I'm helpless Shayba. Trying to reach two different goals. It's meaningless. In the end, I am afraid that I'll lose them both."

I kept quiet as he poured out his mind.

He coughed at once,"Sorry I got overboard."

"No it's okay Zawad bhai. Sometimes you need to pour out your heart to feel better. You know what? Every second of one's life is not perfect! You can't assure every moment. This night you are all good, walking around and the next morning, there is no guarantee that you will even survive! There are ups and downs, risks and achievements in life Zawad bhai. You have to face that. You have to work hard for that. If you break down in the beginning, you can't go further, can you?"

He sighed,"I know. But you won't understand how much pressure I'm going through until you are in my place Shayba. I can't continue both of these. I gotta choose one. Either study hard for being a faculty teacher, or work hard for my company to blossom. I have to take only one road. A professor and a businessman are completely two different choices. What do you think Shayba?"he turned my way, "Which one would you suggest me to pick?"

"Errr... What do I know about this? It's totally up to you."

He sighed,"THAT is the problem. Everyone will say it's up to you, do whatever you want but at the end of the day give me a look of reproach for not taking over dad's business. I mean, why did I study then?? What was the need for such high C.G.P.A if I was going to be a businessman in the end???"

Poor guy! I sympathetically smiled that he couldn't see through my niqab.

"You know what? Sometimes I just feel like leaving everything behind and going abroad, start a new life. No one will tell me what to do! And no one will have expectations from me!" He kicked a pole, "Argh! I don't understand! Why do parents breed only one child to impose their each and every dream on him? He has got plans for his life too, right?"

"Hmm."I smiled. Is that even a thing to complain about? "By the way, are you praying your Salah regularly?"

"Huh??"his thoughts broke as the previous irritated look disappeared, "Ummm..y-y-eaah..."he stammered looking to the other direction. A clear lie.

"You are lying Zawad bhai.."

"No really.... I prayed...Aaaah Maghrib today. And yesterday too... Ummm... Zuhr???"

Wow.... One waqt a day?

"Zawad bhai, why don't you understand? It's no good in convincing me!! Salah is a MUST for everyone. A given fardh by Allah. You are the one who would be punished for missing it! Not me! You think you are saved now by pleading to me? Nooo!! One day you'll be questioned about it!"

He murmured vaguely looking down, "Sorry."

"Go and pray Isha's Salah at once and apologize to Allah, not to me. Quick!"

Hearing this, he chuckled. What's so funny?!! I gawked at him with exasperation.

"Whatever you say, miss. I'll go. But only after dropping you off."

My heart skipped a beat at his unexpected reply. It was obvious that my cheeks had already turned florid in embarrassment. I quickly lowered my gaze upon the street so that he doesn't understand his words' effect on my mind. Something is definitely wrong. What's with that tone of voice? Why do I smell something haram?

Oh dear Allah, I never want to be convinced at non mahram's sweet talks. Please make this easier for me to be your chaste servant.

"You don't need to drop me off. I can go by myself!" I tried to snap but my voice was weaker now than it was a minute ago.

"Who's asking for your permission?" he frowned.

What..! Not uttering a single thing, I padded the hoof as fast as I could when my hostel gate came into view.

Standing in front of the gate,I uttered without turning back, "Allah Hafez. Make sure you pray your Salah."

"Hmm. Can't you remind me that every day? Is it that hard for you???"

Whaaat??? I tried to laugh a little to make this atmosphere normal. He is acting weird since the beginning.
"I told you a hundred times and I'm telling you again, No I can't! I have got personal issues! And it's ok! Even if I don't call, it will be a habit eventually, you'll see."

"Yeah, in your dreams."he turned back with exasperation.

"Just keep your faith in Allah. Remember,Allah loves those who rely upon him. Huh???"

Hearing me, he turned around and smiled back after so long, "Yeah, I will."

"Allah Hafez."

"Allah Hafez."

Without making any delay,I quickly entered my hall and shut the gate... Enough time spent with a non mahram Shayba....

I hurriedly ran to my room and inhaled a deep breath in. His every word, every move played a flashback in my mind. Why does he share his personal affairs with me? I don't think he does so with any other person! Why does he talk about his worries and concern only when he is alone with me? Why does he so passionately talk out his heart when he is with me? Why did he drop me off tonight? And why am I the only one who he pleads to to remind him about Salah? He knows plethora of people who can help him out with it!

My stomach whirled and mind again got tangled up thinking about all the impossibles and conclusions to these questions. Argh!!

Focus on your studies, Shayba....

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Chapter 23, October 23

There is an emotional attachment behind it...:)

Please do tell me what you think about this chapter...^_^