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WAR OF HORMONES
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Taehyung

Without turning on the lights in my living room, I head over to the couch and sit down on it. Resting my elbows on my knees, I watch carefully as Mi-Yang walks in after taking off her shoes, and then she takes off her faux fur shrug, hanging it on the armrest of the couch thereafter. She’s wearing a thin-strapped dress that’s accentuating her sexy curves and showing off quite a lot of her smooth and flawless skin.

Sitting down beside me on the couch, she places her purse beside her and turns to look at me, dragging herself closer to me. My eyes slowly scan her from top to bottom.

Well, she doesn’t look so bad at all. In fact, she looks dashing. After this long period of unwelcome abstinence, I would have preferred someone more endowed, but she should do for now.

All I desperately need now is distraction, and she’s desperate too, just like me, but in a different sense. So, it definitely works.

Mi-Yang nervously trails her cold fingertips up my hand and arm, all the way up to my shoulder, and it supports my belief that she is a little obsessed with my hand, arm, and fingers. And then her eager eyes lift to meet mine.

“I can’t believe that I’m touching you... You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized doing this,” she suddenly thrusts herself into fangirl mode once again, and it brings a smirk to my face.

She obviously fantasized about making out with me and imagining delusional scenarios, and I was nothing more than a larger-than-life idol to her during her fangirl days. But now she has grown so lucky to have me all to herself in the privacy of my home.

“Can I sit on your lap?” Her raw desire comes through as her sparkling eyes search mine for an answer while her hand that’s not on my shoulder comes around to softly stroke my clothed thigh.

“You have permission to do anything you want to do until I stop you,” I answer her as I spread out my arms on either side and lean back against the couch, brushing her smooth cheek with the back of my hand. And, as always, I expertly school my tone and countenance not to give away my desperation to get laid.

My consent makes her smile grow wider, and she doesn’t waste another second leaping onto my lap. Her dress rides up her thighs as she pulls herself closer, practically grinding her hips against mine.

She’s needy, definitely starved for some action in bed, not any different from me, and it makes me wonder what’s up with her husband. I feel a distant need to ask her if she’d really be okay with this, but I’m unmotivated to do that since there isn’t a hint of hesitation that she is exhibiting. Though not in her prime youth years, she still looks super hot and well-groomed, and she smells like Heaven too.

Tough luck, Mi-Yang’s husband. You need to step up your game.

As I watch her, her beautifully manicured fingers carefully unbutton my shirt fully and push it down and out of my shoulders. She then places both her hands on my bare chest, her eyes twinkling with excitement as she caresses my body with her baby soft hands.

I bring a hand to scoop her ass and pull her forward, attempting to get myself in the mood, which seems nearly impossible now, and I have no idea why. Usually, by this time, I would have had my hands and mouth all over the woman with me. But now, I’m not even feeling a rush of adrenaline. In fact, I’m feeling a little weird, and I’m unable to put a name on this strange feeling that’s twisting within my chest. 

Am I nervous? Or guilty? Could it be because of the fact that she’s married?

Mi-Yang bends forward and places her lips to the middle of my chest and starts to softly kiss her way up to my neck. My eyes roll back, and I tilt my head back to allow her lips more space to work on.

She pushes her hips forward, hoping to grind her core against my bulge, but I’m clueless why my junior is still playing dead. Right now, my bed game seems worse than that of Mi-Yang’s husband.

Wake up!! What the fuck, Taehyung? This is so embarrassing.

When her lips graze along my jaw, I reflexively squeeze the handful of flesh that I’m holding on to. My hands swipe up her dress and feel the texture of the soft lace covering her bottom, and she moans a little at my move. My eyes screw shut tighter, and my hands knead her ass as my mind keeps wanting to at least imagine something erotic to get myself in the mood. But the sight that flashes within my closed eyelids, make them fly open in total terror.

NO! NO!

I need a distraction.

Successfully concealing the fleeting look of shock on my face, I harshly grab Mi-Yang’s jaw and press my lips to hers. Our eyes close simultaneously as soon as our lips connect, and she throws herself on me, pressing her body to mine.

But it happens again, and this time, it’s not just my eyes that shoot open in utter confusion and shock; my body freezes too. I also stop kissing Mi-Yang, and she senses it quickly.

“What happened, Taehyung?” She asks me in a concerned manner, leaning back a little, her one hand playing with the hair at the nape of my neck while her other hand is softly stroking my chest.

I draw in a sharp breath, blinking as I try to shake the image out of my head to focus on Mi-Yang instead.

“Aahh.. your heart is racing?” She smirks, grinding her hips against my body as her fingertips draw patterns on my chest and glide over to my shoulders. A slightly disappointed look falls upon her face when she feels nothing between my thighs.

Right now, she is sensually touching every stimulating spot on my body, without earning any kind of physical reaction from me in response. I find it so weird that I’m unable to even force myself to make any sensual noises.

Why am I not getting aroused by a woman’s touch? Have I become too old and impotent?

“My heart is racing too; do you want to feel it?” She continues probing and making efforts as she takes my hand in hers and places it on the middle of her chest, and my puzzled gaze follows my hand, but my hand refuses to move on her body.

SHIT! What’s happening to me?

“Are the clothes disturbing you? I can take them off,” Mi-Yang assumes that the deficiency of nudity is what’s keeping me quiet and unaroused, and she snakes a hand to her back. I hear the zipper of her dress being pulled down. My eyes remain on her face, but I’m not looking at her or focusing on what she’s doing. My thoughts entirely belong elsewhere.

Taehyung, why are you thinking about Yi-Seo now? Mi-Yang is here for you.

I squeeze my eyes shut to gather my thoughts and compose myself, but I see her again, and my heart begins to flip in place with an amalgam of guilt and shame rushing through my veins.

When I open my eyes again, I see Mi-Yang sliding her arms out of the straps of her dress, but before she pulls it down to expose anything to me, I swiftly snatch my hand off her chest. And much to my dismay, it is just now that I also notice that the lights in the living room next door are all turned on, and I have no idea how long it has been this way.

I can’t do this. Heck! No way!

“Is something wrong?” Mi-Yang’s eyebrows knit together, puzzled.

“I- uhm,” I run a hand through my hair and look away from her. “I don’t think I can do this.”

This is the first time ever that I’m turning down sex, and I still have to ponder over what the fuck is going on with my mind that keeps flashing Yi-Seo’s face every time I close my eyes. Simultaneously, I also begin panicking if she would see me from her home and get the wrong ideas.

“Why? My husband won’t have a clue about it. I promise,” Mi-Yang is unwilling to let go, and her hands glide up and down along my body, and she tenderly traces my jawline with her thin fingers.

It does feel nice, but not in an arousing way, and I really need some time and space to figure out my feelings right now. Having sex definitely isn’t going to address the issue. Alcohol doesn’t work either.

Crap! Why the hell isn’t anything helping me?

“It’s not about him, but this is about me. I’m sorry, I really don’t think I can do anything right now,” I apologize sincerely and try to get her out of my lap, my eyes anxiously flitting back and forth between the window in Yi-Seo’s living room and Mi-Yang’s disappointed face.

Frowning, Mi-Yang gets out of my lap and zips up her dress, and only after that do I feel a huge sense of relief settling over me. I quickly get up from the couch while she wears her shrug back and turns to look at me.

“I understand if you’re not feeling like it right now, but if you ever think about me, you can call me,” she turns around searching for something, and then she walks over to my work table and picks up a pen out of the stationery stand. The one that Yi-Seo placed there.

It’s funny how even the stationery stand and my work table suddenly remind me of Yi-Seo, and it feels as if she is sitting there, angrily glaring at me through the top of her glasses.

Smiling, Mi-Yang walks up to me and takes my hand in hers, writing down her phone number on my palm thereafter. I glance at my palm and then at her, and send a tight-lipped smile her way, nodding.

Just as she picks up her purse and prepares to leave, the doorbell rings, and my eyes pop out in shock as if I’m a teenager who is about to be caught by his parents while hanging out alone at home with a random fling.

“I’ll get that,” Mi-Yang marches to the front door without waiting for my response, and she yanks it open. I’m following her to the doorway, chewing my lips anxiously.

My heart races and pounds wildly because she is my only visitor these days, and I’m quite sure that it’s her on the other side of the door. And when the door swings open, my suspicions are confirmed.

“Eonnie?” I hear Yi-Seo’s surprised voice in a couple of seconds, making me want to slap myself and hide under a rock for putting myself in this unnecessary, sticky situation.

“Yi-Seo? What a surprise!” Mi-Yang chuckles uneasily, her feet shuffling as she visibly struggles to explain her presence here.

I was pretty sure it was Yi-Seo. But who was she expecting when she opened the door anyway? It could have very well been her husband.

My guilty gaze lifts to look at Yi-Seo, perplexed as I stand there shirtless with faint coral lipstick marks on my chest and probably even on my neck and face.

Yi-Seo’s bewildered eyes go wide and her mouth opens and closes, but not a single word comes out as she scans me up and down with her powerful, accusatory gaze.

I’m feeling ashamed and extremely guilty, to say the least, and it physically manifests in my eyes that are unable to maintain steady eye contact with her, and beads of sweat begin sprouting on various parts of my body out of sheer nervousness.

God! Why am I in this rut?

“I- I think I have to go now, I’m sorry for interrupting,” Yi-Seo apologizes meekly, bowing her head as she takes a few steps backward; her eyes refusing to look at me.

“Miss Kwon, no, it-” I immediately try to stop her, in vain, but Mi-Yang holds my wrist and stops me from moving any further.

My irritated glare moves from her hand on mine to her face, and I frantically twist my wrist, attempting to free my hand from hers to rush behind Yi-Seo.

“Taehyung, is she the reason?” Mi-Yang confidently questions me, tilting her head to one side and raising her eyebrows in question; her cold grip still strong around my wrist.

“What are you talking about? She must have got the wrong idea, and I need to explain,” I speak animatedly as I yank my hand free from hers and jog out of my home just when Yi-Seo shuts her front door.

I stop right in front of her doorway while Mi-Yang walks out of my home, casting me a look that seems like it has the potential to judge the fuck out of my living self. I side-glance at her, mentally apologizing for my shortfall today, but my thoughts quickly fly back to Yi-Seo, and I push out a deep breath before lifting a finger to press the doorbell.

I’m half naked and covered with lipstick marks, but it doesn’t bother me because she has seen me in worse states before. Nevertheless, she wouldn’t have found any of that as repulsive as this, and, strangely, that bothers me.

The few seconds of waiting before Yi-Seo opens the door seems like a whole lifetime of waiting to me; the way my heart is racing and adrenaline is rushing right now is something that should have happened while Mi-Yang and I were attempting to make out.

But it didn’t, and why? I think I know now. It isn’t flirty or hot that matters anymore—a pure heart is what attracts me. She is all that matters.

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If you've read every detail carefully, do you see the difference between what Taehyung felt for Kim So-Dam and what he feels for Kwon Yi-Seo?

Published on : 02/04/2023