I gave her twelve hours. I wanted to show up in the middle of the night to prove that she can never commit to me but despite my lack of sleep, I told myself to stay put. It's ten in the morning on a Saturday and I'm on my way up to her place.

When I ring the doorbell, there's a small hope inside me that she can prove me wrong. But when a half-naked man with six-pack abs opens the door, I can't hold back my laugh. Fuck. I am so stupid.

He rubs his eyes, yawning. "Yes?"

"Is Gen there?"

He nods, going inside before I hear him talking to her. She comes to the door with a frown on her face but as soon as her eyes land on me, she pales. It's the expected reaction. I'm waiting for her actions to surprise me now, but it doesn't happen anymore.

"Emily, what are you doing here?" She asks, looking back at her man. She almost looks apologetic as she starts. "Listen, I can explain."

Well, there's a first. She wants to explain. I nod, leaning against the doorframe I stare at her. "Okay, I'm all ears."

It's weird how calm I feel. I'm not even disappointed. This is what I came here for. My bet was on a woman opening the door though, so there's that. But looking at the man's abs, I don't blame her.

She's at a loss of words as she tries to speak but I give her a moment. She finally steps closer, "I don't know what I was thinking."

"I know what you were thinking." I give her a sad smile. "You can't do this, Gen. I'm making my peace with it, I'm almost there. Stop ruining things by telling me that this thing can be more than what it is."

Her lips part at my words as she tightens the robe around her body. "You knew, that's why you're here?"

I shrug. "You would've lied to me if I hadn't come here myself. I think I deserve better than living a happy lie. I'd rather survive a sad and harsh truth."

She doesn't say anything but I expected that too. This was my move, and I came mentally prepared for the consequences. I have a plan, and I am sticking to it. I'm not looking for anything serious so this is fine for me, whatever little happiness I can get with being with her, I am taking it.

I step closer to her and press a kiss on her cheeks before sighing. "I accept this, and I would really appreciate it if you would stop asking me something that you can't give back. It's a choice you have to make. You know where to find me."

Without waiting for her response, I turn around to leave. It isn't until I'm in my car does it hit me how long it has taken me to be in this place with Genesis. I've held out on so much hope for her but the moment I found out she was engaged when we first hooked up, it's like something inside me flipped. I can't tolerate cheating.

It only takes a second to tell your partner that you don't want to be with them, so why would anyone not express that? How is "I didn't want to hurt you by breaking up, so I cheated on you." better than "It isn't working out, I want to break up."? People are shit as hell.

I quickly type some details I had to sent to my mother about the speech therapist and hit send before driving back to my apartment. This was one task for today, another is going grocery shopping and pay the rent. I have to deposit some amount in my bank account before I make the payment, so I decide to do that first.

When I'm in the counter line of the grocery store, I check my phone to see that there's a text from Myra. I messaged them last night to apologise for the drama. Instead of replying to the text, I give them a call.

They pick up on the third ring. "Hey."

"Hey, are we chill?" I ask, smiling at the girl at the bill counter who packs my stuff and I pay her.

I'm picking up the bags when I hear them speak on the other end. "Yes, absolutely. Although I think we should stick to being clothed around each other."

An embarrassing flush takes over my face and I'm glad that no one can see me. But they aren't wrong. It had crossed my mind too. I like Myra, they're pretty cool and I'd rather have them as a friend.

"Would I sound pathetic if I say that I was going to propose that too?" I ask as I approach my car and put the groceries in the backseat.

"No." They laugh. "It's good that we're on the same page. I just don't like drama."

"Oof, are you sure you should be talking to me?" I joke and hear another laugh. "Just kidding, I have my friends coming over tonight, the ones you met at the club. Do you want to come to hang out?"

Sam and Olivia texted on the group an hour ago that they want to hang out so I offered my place because I want to stay in. I have a training report to make for the office the entire day anyway. It's due on Monday.

"Will your crazy girlfriend be there?"

I get in the car and wait for the call to end before driving. "She's not really my girlfriend, Myra. We didn't even use that word until a month ago but I'm sure we're not girlfriends."

"Okay..." They trail off. "That doesn't answer the question."

"No, she won't be there."

"Okay, text me the timings and I'll be there."

"See you."

After hanging up, I drive back to the apartment. I made sure to get beers for tonight, and a cheap wine bottle. My mother has a good collection that she keeps hidden away but it's my life mission to get one of those. The first time she let me have something from there was when I got my admission letter from Columbia.

My parents were so proud that Mom cried a little. They don't know that I'm an over-achiever because of them. But college hardly plays a role in that. Corporate life is a real bitch, that's where you have to ace.

"Nick, dishes!" I yell as soon as I step in.

The sink is filled with his pile and I wanted to make mac and cheese for myself. We decided to do the dishes individually. Whoever used what will wash it. That's the rule.

"I woke up and it was so quiet, I thought you were abducted," he tells me as he enters the living room shirtless with his boxers hanging off his hips. "It's refreshing living with a girl. Audran used to play metal first thing in the morning."

Nick has a nice built, it shows that he works out but for some weird reason, despite all the perks, I don't feel attracted to him. He's off the list just because he's a friend of Blake. That's how it weirdly works in my head.

"Ew." I scrunch up my nose just thinking about it. "How did the two of you tolerate that?"

He shrugs, moving to the sink to do his pile. "Blake cursed him until he stopped playing it. That man is not a morning person."

Well, he and I have something in common. But he doesn't reflect that well when he's all chirpy with me in the office. I unload the groceries on the kitchen island as I think about my conversation with him last night. After he left, I let Nick have the spaghetti because I had lost my appetite but this morning I made sure to have toast and coffee. I need to be alive.

"Listen, I know I already said this but I'm sorry about last night. She's usually not like that." I look at him and he smiles at me.

"She looks very Manhattan type."

I can't hold back my snicker. "She is."

"Damn, that explains it." He clicks his tongue. "Don't be embarrassed on her account. We all have our own crazy chicks."

I remember his ex from the party and it makes me smile. Nick is nice, he keeps out of my hair, is really low maintenance so far and is oddly supportive of me even though we barely know each other. It's weird having a roommate, especially a college-going one because all of my previous ones were of the same age or a year older.

"Hey, are you from New York?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Nope, Cali, you?"

"Born and brought up here." I shrug. "But my Granpa lives in Cali. Larkspur, if you know about it?"

"Are you kidding? I lived in San Francisco, that's like so near Larkspur." He grins at me.

"Really? Small world, huh?" I smile at him and he nods. "We visited San Francisco a couple of years back on the twin's birthday with Granpa."

"The twins?" He asks.

"Oh, right. I have a twin brother and sister, they are the youngest, and a younger brother who's in high school."

"That can't be pretty. My sister's approaching senior year and she's acting like a know-it-all. Annoys the hell out of me." He grumbles and I feel like hugging him because he just worded what I feel.

"Right? Caiden's the same, that's his name by the way. I feel like smacking him sometimes."

Nick chuckles as I fill up the refrigerator with the food. He pauses and looks at me a little quiet which makes me give him a questioning look. "Can I say something?"

"I don't like the tone of that, but go ahead."

"I know Blake's your family friend and you have your own equation with him but just go a little easy on him, alright?"

Wow. I definitely didn't see that coming. I feel a little out of place but he sounds extremely concerned so I know he's coming from the right place which makes me worry in return.

"Noted, but is like everything okay with him?" I sound worried but Nick's statement threw me off guard. Blake is the most laid back guy that I know. Well, apart from Caiden.

He nods at me. "Yeah, he's not much of a talker, you know?"

"Are we talking about the same Blake?" I can't help but laugh. "He cannot shut up around me."

"He just likes you to annoy you. Trust me, he knows how to get on your nerves and so do you when it comes to him, it's entertaining to watch."

"Kids these days," I mutter under my breath before tearing open the pack of macaroni. "Wanna have mac and cheese for lunch?"

"Oh, definitely."

We spend the afternoon getting to know each other. Nick has only one sibling, Leila, his younger sister is approaching senior year, much like Caiden and she's planning for Yale. His mother's a single parent, and his parents divorced sometime after Leila was born. He tells me about his interest in psychology and he sounds so passionate about the field, that I know he's going to ace at it.

After some time I decide to do the office work in my room and doze off because I hardly slept last night. I wake up because I mistakingly left my door ajar and can hear sounds from down the hallway. Ugh. I get out of bed and make my way to the living room to find Olivia, Sam and Nick yelling at the screen.

"What the hell?" I look at them as Sam eats the popcorn.

"We're watching football," Olivia tells me and that's all I need to know to let out a groan.

"All of your yelling woke me up," I complain, moving to lie flat on the recliner.

Sam and Nick don't even pay attention to me as they keep their eyes fixed to the screen. I reach forward and snatch the popcorn bowl from Sam's hands, earning myself a dirty look. I focus on munching the popcorn, keeping my eyes closed because it's too soon for me to talk to anyone since I just woke up.

There's a knock on the door and I immediately shout, "Not it."

Nick narrows his eyes at me but doesn't say anything as he stands up to open the door. When I look and notice that it's Myra, despite my laziness, I get up and walk over.

"Hey, you made it." I smile at them.

"Yes! I got wine." They hold up the bottle and I notice that it's much better than the cheap one I bought.

I open the door wider for them as Nick goes back to sit on the couch. They step in and look around, unlike last time when Genesis threw a tantrum. I haven't heard from her and I don't think I will be hearing from for the rest of the weekend either. Shit, what if she decides to call quits on the entire thing? I never once considered that. Way to be over-confident, Emily!

"Are you okay?" Myra asks.

"Yes, yes." I point to the couch. "You remember Olivia and Sam?"

"Of course, you're the cheating bastard." They wink at him and he glares at Olivia and me.

"Yes, I am. Courtesy of having stupid friends who forget that they are adults. It's nice to meet you outside of the bar, Myra!" Sam smiles at them.

I told Sam and Olivia that I slept with Myra sometime during lunch this week. Sam wasn't pleased with the idea because he can be a little protective sometimes but he's trying to believe me when I told him it wouldn't happen again.

"Hi, Myra!" Olivia waves at them as they step to sit on the love seat by the recliner.

I get back to my chair and pick up the popcorn as Myra indulges in a conversation with the rest. "What are we watching?"

"Football," Nick tells them.

I notice the way Myra reacts to it and smile at them amusedly. "Not a fan?"

"Not a sports person." They shrug. "What about you?"

"I played basketball in school, but honestly, I lost interest after University. It took up so much of my time." I explain, trying to keep it superficial.

We make small talk as Myra tells me they are from New Jersey. They spent their entire childhood there and did community college before moving here after graduation. I learn that they are a year younger to me and an only child.

"Was it hard, coming out to your family?" I ask, hoping that I'm not crossing a line and they shrug at me, sipping on the wine that Olivia got them.

"Kinda banished from the house, honestly. That's one reason I moved. My dad got access to my closet one day, he saw all the make-up and dresses. So, naturally, he flipped out."

Shit. My hand goes to theirs as I give it a light squeeze. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have asked."

They give me a smile. "No worries. I've made my peace with it. My mom's cool though. She comes to visit me sometimes."

"She sounds nice." I grin and they nod.

"I've been thinking of moving to some small city, honestly. As well as the bar job and tips pay, the expenses here are so much." They share, and I absolutely agree.

"I know, right?" I groan. "It's like money grows on the three. I didn't believe that taunt when my parents used to say it."

They laugh, nodding. "It's just tough retaining a day-time job. I've got a few but after a while, the comments get too much so I leave myself."

I can't help but feel my heart hurt for them. I've had my share of comments growing up, but people have no remorse when it comes to bullying.

"What did you graduate in?" I ask.

"Oh, I did literature. I applied to a few publications for an assistant job, got shot down after the interview." They shrug and I feel this anger within. "It's just tough because I've been saving up for the surgery, you know? Each time I spend a penny it feels like a dream that wouldn't come true."

Fuck. I can't imagine what that would feel like. I pass a smile, nodding in understanding as I tighten my hold on their hand. I'm glad my friends and roommate are so invested in the game that I got to spend time talking to Myra until I realise that I can actually help them.

"Literature?" I ask and they nod. "Do you mind taking favours?"

They scoff, "Beggars can't be chooser, Em."

"My Mom's Editorial Director at S&M publishing," I start and their eyes widen.

"Like the S&M Publishing?"

I nod, holding back my smile. "My Gramps owns it."

"Shit, are you suggesting what you're suggesting?"

I see the hope twinkling in their eyes so I gulp a little, making sure to keep this grounded. "I cannot promise anything will happen, but I can definitely try. They have a good work environment, and no bullshit policy."

They nod eagerly. "Honestly, I'll take anything I can get."

"Okay, give me a couple of days to talk to either of them. Just send me your resume and if it works out, I'll tell my mother to have them contact you directly?"

Before I even know it, they are wrapping their arms around me and I return the tight hug. I know what it feels like to have support. My family has been that support for me for my entire life, I've hit jackpot with my parents. I got lucky with Sam and Olivia when I joined the company and became friends with them but apart from that, I've never been able to get close to anyone due to the constant judgment.

When they part away, I can see their overwhelmed expressions. I just nod at them in assurance before they clear their throat and focus on everyone else.

"When does this end?" They ask the enthusiastic cheerleaders.

"It's a repeat telecast, we know who wins." Nick comments and I gape at him, snatching the remote from his hand. "What? No!"

"Yes, if I had known earlier, you wouldn't have got to watch this so far. How can you yell at the screen when you already know what's going to happen?" I give incredulous looks to my friends.

Nick is amongst them. It's weird how smoothly he fits in with everyone, that I didn't even find it awkward that he's hanging out with the rest of us. But it's good for the long run, I guess. We have to get along if we live together.

"It's the emotion that matters, man," Olivia grumbles in return.

Before I can respond to her, there's a knock on the door and Nick immediately looks my way. I roll my eyes before moving to open it with a mutter of curses. My face transforms into surprise when I notice Blake standing on the other end.

He's holding a box in his hand and his hair are all ruffled over his head. He looks at me with the same surprise but then his eyes move to the living room and he nods at Nick, completely ignoring my presence. I scowl at him but don't move out of the doorway when Nick comes to stand by my side.

"Is that all?" He points at the box, taking it from his hand and Blake nods.

"Yes, nothing else left."

"Did you finish moving in today?" Nick asks him, receiving another nod.

"Are you both going to chatter standing here all day?" I interrupt, looking between the two of them and Blake still doesn't look at me.

"I'm gonna go. See you Monday." Blake looks at Nick and I frown at him.

"Seriously?"

"See you." Nick nods at him and shrugs at me before moving inside.

Blake's about to turn around when I catch his wrist. Fuck. I realise that it's probably the first time I've touched him apart from our usual handshakes and the warmth seeps in, making him look down to where my hand is wrapped around his wrist. I didn't know his touch was always so warm. I'd never thought much about it before.

I retract my hand and clear my throat. "Why aren't you coming in?"

"I've got an errand to run." He makes an excuse.

"Okay, step inside once, just to prove me wrong and then you can leave."

He looks at me like I've lost my mind. "I don't have time for this, Emma."

"It will just take a second."

But he doesn't. He doesn't step in and stares at me with that intense gaze of his. I hate how intense it is and makes me sigh, shaking my head.

"You're mad about what I said last night."

"You kicked me out!" He whisper-yells, his restrain finally breaking free.

"I did not! I told you I'd kick you out but I didn't because you're my roommate's best friend."

"How is that any better?" He scowls at me. "I've tried to ignore all the snappy comments you pass, but I've got a limit."

I take a deep breath, my annoyance emerging a little but I push it down. I've been suppressing it a lot lately when it comes to him, realising that most of it is really irrational. This is the only reason I'm even talking to him right now otherwise I really don't care about how he feels.

"You said some pretty harsh stuff too, you know? You don't get to play innocent. I told you not to judge me, and you did just that."

"Since when is pointing out the truth judgment? You deserve better. I know it, your friends know it. Hell, even Nick and Myra must know it." He gestures to the living room and I turn around to see that we've actually caught everyone's attention.

Great. Like last night wasn't enough.

"You don't get to decide that," I snap at him. "I'm sick of your bullshit, Blake. I've tried to be patient with you and keep my annoyance at bay but you continue to push my buttons."

He scoffs at me, throwing his hands in the air. "Yes, like you're the best person to deal with. Do you have any idea how annoying it is that every little thing annoys you?"

Ouch. I immediately shut up after that comment. That's more harsh truth than I can actually survive this week. I need a happy lie now, like I need it in order to get through this night. I bite on my tongue and tighten my jaw to keep my expressions blank.

It's not just what he said today, it's just this entire week has been overwhelming so it's taking a toll on me. I know I'm not an easy person to deal with, and I take absolutely no sense of pride in it. I can be pretty mean when I want to be, and I have every right to hear whatever he has to say to me after the way I've treated him.

So, instead of slamming the door in his face as my head tells me to, I listen to my heart to stay calm. I just simply take a deep breath and nod at him.

"Emma." He starts, stepping in the apartment, his face reflecting immediate regret. "I didn-"

I shake my head at him, clearing throat, "No, don't say that."

"But-"

"I'm sorry about yesterday, it's as much Nick's apartment as it is mine. I shouldn't have said what I did, you're his best friend and you should come here whenever you want." I force a small smile on my face.

His face transforms into pure helplessness as he opens his mouth to speak and I turn around to look at my friends, their concerned eyes meeting mine.

"I'll be right back, so just decide on what you guys want to eat, yeah?"

Sam nods at me while I go down the hallway. As soon as I shut my bedroom door behind me, I let the tears fall, being tired of carrying around the heaviness in my chest for so long now.