Are you enjoying this story so far?

Comment 🥺
____

"

They're expected to forget everything they knew about being anything other than what they're supposed to be."- Anna-Marie McLemore, When the Moon Was Ours

Dysphoria (n.)- a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied

Adrianna's POV:

His voice that was of a molten bitter dark chocolate, left a sweet sweet after taste within me.

For the first time, I became aware of his eyes- his eyes that remained lifeless, emotionless, yet I could feel their weight upon me.

Goosebumps arose through my skin, affecting me the way it shouldn't be affecting me.

The more I fought internally, denying his very presence, the more it rooted itself deep within me- until I was made aware of it through my erratic heart rate, droplets of cool sweat, tingly palms and throbbing cunt.

The later one, I could ignore, because I reacted the same way with every male.

I let out a shuddered breath, the words that were the craft of his tongue made my purse my lips in anticipation and fear.

"Mr. Estevan? Before that, I was meaning to ask you something..."

His fingers clenched as he made himself comfortable on the couch, not that he was unsteady before. I was taken aback by the way the yellowish hue of the chandelier casted a golden glow at the side of his face, emphasizing his godlike features.

And suddenly, I wanted to see what he hid underneath his mask.

He tilted his head ever so slightly, an indication that he was listening.

I gulped as the nervousness and fear that was forgotten momentarily hit me with all it's might, my mind drifting back to the shoe prints on my floor.

"I wanted to know..." I took a deep breath, my throat becoming drier by passing moments, "Do you by chance... happen to have any surveillance camera in the guest bedroom?"

This time, he faced me, his eyes drifting to where I was seated.

"Why would I have surveillance cameras in my guest's room, Ms. Campbell?" His voice was quiet, calm.

I let out a shaky breath, articulating the reasoning I should give him in my head.

"Mr. Estevan I don't know how I should put it..." I let out a breath, feeling embarrassed but fearful at the same time, "I think someone was spying on me when I was in the shower."

Even if he was shocked by the news, he didn't let it appear in his features. He was good at being enigmatic, but I was better at being an observer.

And so, the way his exceptionally large fingers curled ever so slightly on the skull of his stick didn't escape my eyes.

"Spying?"

"Yes..." I looked up at him, meeting his eyes, despite knowing that he couldn't see the way my eyes glazed over, verklempt with anxiety, "I was talking a shower and then I heard a door lock and-"

"Did you not lock the door, Ms. Campbell?" His baritone was callous, "Or the bathroom door?"

I bit my lips, "I did lock the main door of my room.."

He put his other hand on the stick, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, "You were supposed to lock the shower door too, no?" He trailed off sarcastically, raising an eyebrow, "I don't understand how they assigned me to an airheaded amateur."

My jaw dropped to the floor as I shot him an offended look, "I am not an airheaded amateur!"

"You are an amateur, Ms. Campbell," He regarded me coolly, his face as stoic as ever, "It makes me think whether you are as irresponsible in your job."

I gaped at him, baffled by the turn of events.

Was he seriously accusing me now?

"Mr. Ares Estevan," I muttered sternly, rage slithering in my veins, "I am one hundred percent dedicated when it comes to my job. I take it seriously and devote myself to my utmost capability-"

"Let's get one thing clear Ms. Campbell," He cut me off, his voice gruff, "I don't want you here. Your display of irresponsibility increases my wish by tenfold."

I was seething, but at the same time, I was disappointed with myself.

He was true, I did forget to lock the bathroom door.

The fact that I displayed my vulnerability at the very first day of my duty left me with a bitter aftertaste, burning the tip of my tongue.

I wallowed in my misery, a heavy sigh leaving me as I glanced at my fingers. A loud thunderstrike resonated, making my heart jump.

Rain in fall?

Maybe that's why he is wet?

Why didn't I notice it before?

I wouldn't call myself a pluviophile, in fact I was far from it- yet, for that single passing moment, it soothed the deepest core of my soul, calming me for a bit.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I glanced at him as he stroked his chin thoughtfully, his brows furrowing.

"On another thought, Ms. Campbell, you are excused."

I frowned as confusion swirled through me.

"Weren't you supposed to discuss some rules?"

"I initially called you here to have a talk with you, share an idea with you about my condition and discuss how we can adjust to this new settlement, but after your complaint, I have perceived you to be an irresponsible professional and decided that it would, perhaps be a better decision to keep you away from me."

Disappointment flooded through me as I blinked, not wanting to believe that I was incapable of properly performing.

I clenched my fists until they turned white.

I lusted after this man, but damn him. Damn him for making me feel like this.

Damn him for making me feel like I wasn't good at what I am doing.

Damn him for making me feel like a fool.

You are a fool.

I wanted to cry, I was mad at myself. I let myself down once again and this time it was completely my fault.

"Night, Ms. Campbell. Thank you for your precious time."

With that, he dismissed me, looking away as if I didn't exist.

Hanging my head, I stood up slowly and carried myself out of his room, the guilt heavy on my shoulders.

It was my fault.

I hate my body.

I hate the things it make me do.

I hate the way I crave male touch, the way I crave a dopamine rush.

I hate it.

Entering my room, I slammed the door shut, rather loudly and launched myself to my bed, memories flooding in my head. Unwanted memories.

"Adrianna, did you sleep with the professor or not?"

"Did you get good grades by sleeping with the professor?"

"How disgusting, girls like her are the real reason why talents don't get prioritized."

I wasn't able to make them understand that I didn't sleep with the teacher for the good grades.

He was just making that up.

Just because that one time, one time I was caught with a boy in the locker.....

Everyone automatically assumed that I was the common whore of the school and I would sleep with anyone.

I worked hard for my grades, saving money, penny by penny to buy a good book for my exam- not a single person helped me, because I was whore.

That was what I was, a whore.

I was only here to do my job, prove myself that I was more than just a girl who was horny all the time. I was here to not only prove my capability as a nurse, but also my capability as a novice and testing out the waters. It was about a challenge, a point, a goal- a passion I had been harboring for years.

An identity beyond the tag 'slut', I wanted to be a doctor.

I had seen my mother perish in front of my eyes from the lack of proper medication, I saw her suffer as she slowly neared her death. I couldn't do anything, I didn't have the money to save her. My dad tried his best but he didn't have that one thing that could save her.

Money could buy me a therapy, a sanity.

Money.

Whirls of thoughts jarred my mind, cutting through until it only worsened my self hatred; the sound of rhythmic rain now a constant ring in my ears.

If only I had money, I could save my mom. If only I had money, I could help myself with a therapy. If only I had money, I wouldn't have to live in such poor condition.

I didn't realize I was crying until my silent sobs tore me apart, cutting through and though, piercing everything inside me until the only thing that was left was my naked vulnerability.

Ares Estevan just worsened my self hatred and all I could do was pity myself. Laugh at myself as people laughed at me, join them as they mocked me.

He shouldn't have done that.

I mentally took note to ask Archer about happened with him 13 years ago.

Till then, Ares was a closed book and it only solidified my will to prove myself as a capable professional.

Ares Estevan was a challenge, a hurdle that I had to overcome.

I pressed the pillow closer to me, carefully letting the tears flow so that no one heard my pleas for help.

To the world I was a bad bitch. My tears were my secret, entreaty and vulnerary.

That night, I cried myself to sleep- desperately wishing to be reborn in a new body if reincarnation existed.

____________

So, did you guys like the chapter?

Do you think Adrianna can make Ares succumb?

In which way do you think Adrianna will break Ares?

Share your thoughts, let me know! I love reading your comments!

____☾︎____

send me a message: Ssybahz.carrd.co/

____☾︎____

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 ❤︎