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"I turned my nightmares into fireflies and caught them into a jar,"- Laini Taylor

Petrichor (n.): a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.

Adrianna's POV:

Fear.

Dread.

Apprehension.

Fear can be of many kinds. The kind of fear one experiences when anticipated, the kind of fear that excites us and the kind that lives with us; the pessimism, an eternal truth of human nature, and the fear that comes with it. Fear can be ugly, fear can be exciting, fear can be gory and thrilling.

I feared for myself.

It was a feeling that hung over my head. Like a nagging thorn sticking under my feet and reminding me of it every time I moved.

I feared for Ares.

It was something I had never felt before. It was an emotion that was callow, unadulterated and something that rooted deep within me.

The waves crashed to the shore, the night blending into azure. Diamonds glittered in the sky, mirroring my eyes. I laid awake in the arms of the man I had grown so attached to and learnt to fear for.

The palpitation of his heart was like a lullaby to my ears; comforting, welcoming- home. His presence cocooned me into him, his touch welcomingly scorching on my bare skin. Our skin pressed against each other, in the most primal way.

His soft breaths fanned my hair as I made small circles on his chest, tingles on my swollen lips.

After our session in the morning, I had sauntered out with wobbly toes and a big smile on my face, making up my mind to sneak into his room again when everyone would be asleep.

Regardless, my plan had worked successfully and we fucked until both of us passed out from exhaustion.

Sex with Ares was mind blowing. I didn't have to hold anything back. I lose myself in him, his smell and the divine ecstasy.

As moments passed, fragments of fear coiled in my stomach, slowly, turning into a venomous demon that whispered fright and terror in me.

I had no idea what I was going to do when he got bored and decided that he had had enough of me. I had no idea how to let him go.

I placed a small kiss on his chest, curling myself against him a bit more.

I had no idea when this blissful eunoia would come to an end, I only wanted to cherish this moment and hold on to this fragment as long as I could.

I feared that I had grown too attached to him. Not only the sex, but his rare smiles, the pillow-talks we shared, blissful silence as we basked in the afterglow of an overwhelming sex....

And I feared that I didn't want him to go.

Everything must come to an end, like a well-written story leaving behind that hint of bitterness with a shadow of joy, like a dessert leaving a sweet aftertaste. Every good thing must come to an end, that is the primary rule of the universe.

Ares Estevan was starting to grow on me and I wanted to free myself. I feared that I had grown on him too.

My heart started palpitating in alarm as I tried to push away the negative thoughts that suddenly started to cloud my mind.

What if the hospital authority found out?

What if they accused him whereas I was solely responsible for everything?

What if he decided that I was too much of a package and left?

Thoughts after thoughts, none optimistic. I stroked his warm skin as I buried my face into his neck, inhaling, trying to calm myself down.

I didn't want to lose him, not yet. I was not ready to let go of the only good thing that ever happened to me.

"Anna?" I stilled as his body reverberated with the weight of my name, his voice a low grumble.

Shit, I was crying.

"Why are you crying?" His arms tightened around me as he pressed a small kiss on my forehead, making my heart pirouette wildly, "Did you have a nightmare?"

I shook my head, stroking the side of his neck. The fear chained me a little bit more; I was rendered speechless.

"You can tell me if you want," He whispered soothingly, running his fingers through my hair, untangling the curls. It only made me sob harder.

It was something far worse than a nightmare. It was a torture knowing that it would eventually backfire on me, yet, I couldn't seem to stop.

Ares was the finest of the alcohol and I was a drunkard.

"Anna?"

"Don't call me that..." I whispered in a tear soaked voice.

"I'm sor-"

"My dad used to call me Anna."

He remained silent.

"I miss him so much," I whimpered, my body shaking from the weight of my tears.

"I am sorry."

"He..." I gulped, "He would be able to protect me if he were here."

His finger stroked my cheek, catching a drop of tear, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I let out a shaky breath. Did I want to? Was I ready to share this part of me with him as of yet?

Maybe, maybe not. There was no right time.

And I didn't want to have any regrets.

"My dad was my sole parent after my mom passed away from cancer," I sighed, "He did his best to raise me, trying to give me the best life he could."

My voice was clogged. It was as if a boulder sat on me, suppressing my breaths.

"Cry if you want, baby."

I let out a small gasp as I clung to him for dear life. He was patient and I was grateful for that. It felt so good to cry my heart out, especially in the arms of a man I had come to admire.

"He was a good father. I thought.. Maybe.. Finally we had-" My heart twisted in pain, "Maybe finally we were going to be happy after overcoming the trauma of mom's death but no... how can I be happy right?" A bitter chuckle escaped me.

"I was seven when the accident took place."

His fingers stopped in their trail.

"It was thirteen years ago. I was seven. It was a normal day, you know? I remember it to be a sunny day. I also remember that my teacher praised me because I submitted my work before everyone. I was excited to pass the news to my dad," My voice broke as the tip of my fingers slowly started to turn numb.

"When I came back... everything was silent. Too silent."

We were breathing heavily, the mixed sound of it like a melody in my ears.

"A circle of crowd and a chilling sob. When I pushed passed the people, I saw my dad's best friend, Mr. Cooper. His eyes shining with horror, dread and tears."

"He delivered the news simply, "Your dad met with an accident, Anna. He was taken to the hospital, the chances of survival are next to nothing."

Fear. That was the first time I felt fear.

"I was only a small kid, I shouldn't have understood the meaning of death; yet, I did. I knew my mom was dead and she was never coming back. Do you know how my dad would narrate deaths?"

"Hm?"

"He would tell me the tale of 'The Little Mermaid'. Not the Disney version, where they live happily ever after. The Hans Christian Andersen version, where the mermaid must ultimately sacrifice herself for the sake of love. It was his way of introducing me to the tragedies of life."

"He would always say God takes the ones he loves the most. The grim reapers turn their bodies into foams of styx, ultimately making them a part of water. The water would carry the foam to the core of the world where they turn into the soul of earth. Life on earth thrives on the soul of the dead, how ironic is that?"

""Water that nourishes earth," He would always say," I chuckled, "He was coaxing a child. It was all child's talk, but for some reason the thought of it still comforts me till this day."

"Your dad was a wise person," His fingers continued in their trails, "I would have loved to talk with him."

"He was... interesting," I smiled at the thought, "He could narrate the stories of impossible and the odes of mythology, like a boggle-monger. He could combine modern literature with folklore smoothly. I wonder how it would be to have a conversation with him."

"I see where you get your talent from, Anna," He whispered, placing a kiss on the crown of my forehead, "Your father was a brainiac."

A moment of silence passed as we basked in the cocoon of warm silence that veiled us. Our soft breaths permeated each other's as I cuddled against him. His soft curls resting against my cheek and his stubbles tickling my forehead. I was in heaven.

"Anna?" He muttered after a while, ever so quietly.

"Hm?"

"What's the name of the hospital your father was admitted to?"

"Uh it was not a hospital," I mumbled, "It was a small clinic, it was called St. Nicolas Memorial I think."

His muscles tightened beneath me.

"Ares, what's wrong?" I could feel the discomfort radiating off him, the air between us shifting.

"Nothing," He cleared his voice, which made it apparent that something was clearly wrong, "Do you know how he died?"

"He died in a car accident. His mustang was hit by an unnumbered truck," I mumbled the last part sourly, not wanting to remind myself that my father's case still remains unsolved.

"I see."

I frowned, looking up at him. He didn't wear his mask, and I loved it. He was slowly getting more comfortable in his own skin and it was a success. Not only as his nurse, but also as someone-

Someone what?

Someone who is close to him?

Fuck buddy?

Both of us knew we crossed the threshold of being just fuck buddies the moment I decided to take off his mask. Last night was ethereal. Unlike being his usual rough and demanding self, he was gentle. He took his time touching me, exploring every crevice, every curve of my body.

Soft but demanding kisses and whispered sweet nothings as I melted in his arms. It was beautiful. Sad but beautiful.

His touches remained imprinted in my mind and I don't think I would be able to forget them, not in a lifetime.

"Ares?"

The clock chimed from the nightstand, the sound penetrating the veil of silence as it let us know that it was 3.

"Anna, we should sleep," His voice was hard, rough as he glanced at the bedside, "It's already 3. I have some work tomorrow."

"Okay," I mumbled, disheartened that he didn't want to share, but understanding why he was behaving like this at the same time. I have already crossed so many lines, I shouldn't make myself look more insufferable than I already am.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. I stared at him in awe as his breaths evened as he lost himself in the dreamland.

What did he dream about?

A smile lit up my face, the dry tears itching on my skin as I watched him, the fear that rooted within me, dispersing, slowly.

"No matter how scarred you are, you will heal," My dad said, "Do you know our pains and sufferings are written in stars?"

My eyes drifted to the doorway that was illuminated by soft light. Through my hooded eyes, I thought I saw a moving shadow lurking beneath the darkness, watching us silently.

Eh, probably my late night imagination.

A soft breath escaped me as I, too, closed my eyes, losing myself into the same darkness that surrounded Ares.

____________________

I discovered myself in an empty bed as the dawn fell.

My first thought was to gather myself and sneak out, lest someone saw me.

So, I freshened up and tiptoed out of the room slowly.

My mind reeled from last night. It was.... Revealing to say the least.

I had discovered my newest fear and I had had an urge to seek a solution to my problem.

A sigh escaped me as I opened my phone and searched the best psychiatric clinics nearby.

Was I seriously considering this?

I bit my lips, scrolling through the lists.

The trauma my hypersexuality left on me was pretty deep and I desperately wanted to set myself free. I wanted to be humbled, I didn't want to be trapped in my mind anymore.

I didn't want to lose Ares, just yet and I was willing to take whatever measurements needed.

Therapy was very expensive, even if I excluded some necessities, I would have to count a lot of extra money. The primary reason why I couldn't seek help for my problem.

A knock resonated, jolting me from my reverie. Archer stood in the doorway, clad in a white shirt and jeans. His eyes bore into mine, he looked pretty pissed off.

"Archer?"

"May I come in? I have something important to discuss with you."

I kept my phone aside, straightening myself, "Yeah sure."

He nodded and let himself in, shutting the door as he entered.

I frowned as I took him in, he looked pretty disturbed, his usual smile was not present. He looked disheveled.

He grabbed the chair from the study table and sat in front of me.

"I won't beat around the bush, Adrianna," He sighed, "Tell me how long have this thing between you and Ares been going on?"

My heart fell to my stomach as I stared at him wide eyed.

"Wh-What do you-"

"Don't pretend to be naive, Adrianna," He bit out, "How long have you been sleeping together?"

Shit's about to go down.

I am extremely sorry for not uploading for so long, I had my vaccine and had some side effects.

So Archer finally knows. What do you think?

I have also edited chapter 16 a little bit, portraying Ares' mind a bit more. You can check it out.

What do you think of this story so far? Let's do a poll! rate in the sections below! It'd help me to improve and gift you with better chapters!

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See you in next chapter! Eagerly waiting for you ratings :) be as honest as you like. I mean it.