/ / T H E 1 9 7 5 / / (Gatty)

Pairing: Matty Healy/George Daniel

Rating: General

Triggers: Vague mentions of a past abusive living situation

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George couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips when Matty stretched out across his chest, using him in place of a pillow since George didn't bring any with him this time, all they had separating them from the scratchy grass below was an aging throw blanket that he had snagged from his mum's place when he moved out. It didn't matter to George though, he would stretch out on a bed of sharp rocks without voicing a single complaint as long as Matty was there with him.

Luckily for George, he didn't have to suffer through any discomfort tonight. The ground was actually quite soft and giving, molding to his spine almost like a good mattress would do. It seemed more comfortable than his own bed at least, although his box spring hadn't been changed since childhood, so it was probably time for him to upgrade it when he had the funds. The soil was a bit damp because of the recent rains, but the blanket was soaking up most of the moisture, and George had a spare shirt in his truck if it got wet either way.

George would never get enough of moments like these, he was always at his happiest when it was just him and Matty, but these little getaways were his favorite. Every year at the beginning of summer, no matter what, the two boys chose a night to head into the wooded area near the outskirts of town. It was where they met actually, and after almost ten years, it was now brimming with memories that were irrelevant to anyone but them.

Soft sound

George still recalled the first time he laid eyes on Matty with such vivid clarity, it was as if it happened only yesterday in his mind, but everything pertaining to Matty seemed to stick firmly in his brain, even the small events that should have faded away ages ago.

It was the sound that had drawn his attention to the other boy, because before then, George had been used to having the woods entirely to himself, he even went so far as to call it 'his forest', although thicket would probably be a better title for the faint scattering of trees and underbrush that George wandered in during his free time.

George wasn't sure why he spent so much of his childhood in that abandoned area, it definitely wasn't what his friends did once school let out, but there was just something about the scenery that pulled George in and called to him while he was away. Looking back, George realized that he liked the peace, the quiet serenity that he never found at home what with all the fighting and screaming that erupted between his parents before they split but that was always waiting for him here.

But this solitude had been disturbed that afternoon by none other than Matty himself, his choked exclamation had drawn George's attention despite his mother's warnings to be careful and avoid talking to strangers. Matty didn't look dangerous though, so George had approached the boy who had at that point been taller than him, even though the opposite applied now.

George tried to make as much noise as he could so Matty would be aware of the fact that he was no longer alone, but Matty didn't react at all to his presence. George wasn't sure what he was doing out here, but the part of his mind that was screaming at him to leave the boy alone was completely overridden by the fear that he might be hurt, not to mention he had always been curious by nature.

George vaguely knew of Matty back then, he'd seen him around the neighborhood at least, but they hadn't spoken before, mostly because George was a bit of a recluse and Matty was always surrounded by a crowd of friends no matter where he went. Not that day though, Matty was alone, and George was determined to find out why that was.

"Hey mate...you alright?" George asked tentatively, his eyes widening slightly when he realized that the older boy was crying. His cheeks were stained with salty tears and his slim shoulders were heaving with the force of his sobs.

"Does it look like I'm bloody okay?" Matty snapped, his posture tensing suddenly as he whipped around to face George. "You didn't have to follow me - oh..." Matty trailed off when he got a good look at George's face, but instead of apologizing like George half expected him to, he broke down again, his legs practically crumbling underneath him until he was deposited on the forest floor with his head cradled in his hands.

"It's okay..." George put on what he hoped was a soothing tone, his hand hovering in midair since he couldn't decide if he should put it on Matty's shoulder or if the touch would send him into another fit of anger. "Can I ask what's wrong?"

"Everything," Matty choked out, and for some reason, that statement had George biting his tongue so he wouldn't laugh out loud. It wasn't that he found Matty's pain humorous, it was more so his dramatic nature and over exaggerated manner that had him slightly amused. "Why do you care?" Matty finally spoke up again after he managed to calm himself a bit. "Just go away."

"Technically I was here first," George shrugged, using his go-to method for when someone was sad which was to lighten the mood, "so I should be saying that to you, but I won't, because I can tell you're having a bad day. You can talk to me if you want, or not, but either way, I'd like to keep you company."

"Don't pretend like you're interested. Everyone gets upset sometimes, so what makes me any different?" Matty hissed, his red nose and damp lashes making his attempt at an intimidating stare fall short of its mark as he glared at George through his parted fingers.

"I'm not sure," George shrugged, because he really wasn't. He typically avoided people in general, socializing wasn't his strong point, but there was something about Matty that was drawing him in, and he didn't want to fight the pull he had discovered between them just yet. "I guess I don't like seeing you so sad."

"Well you would be the first," Matty sniffed harshly, his chest rising and falling under his thin top while he tried to regain his composure. "Everyone else seems to love taking the piss out of me."

"Who would do that?" George questioned, sinking down in a crouch so he was on Matty's level. "I mean - you've got loads of friends, and you seem pretty well liked."

"I was..." Matty sighed, his knuckles turning white when he clenched his hands into twin fists, "until today that is. Picked the wrong bloody outfit to wear and now I'm the school laughing stock."

It was only then that George truly processed what the other boy was dressed in, he had noticed before, but he was more occupied with Matty's tears than his clothing. George took a moment to observe the slim fitting trousers and light blouse, his head tilting slightly to the left when Matty straightened up a bit so George could see properly.

Matty's ensemble wasn't conventional for a boy of their age, but George didn't find anything wrong with that. His top was sheer, not quite see through but close, and it was short too, the hem barely brushing his slim fitting jeans even though he was sitting down. The color was the most notable thing about it though, because it was pink - a soft shade of the color spectrum that was interspersed with a pattern of dainty flowers lightly printed upon the fabric.

"I think you look nice," George admitted, and he wasn't lying. Sure - it wasn't something he would wear, but it seemed to fit Matty somehow, and he had never understood why boys were supposed to like blue and not pink, it was just a color right?

"Really?" Matty's voice was so shaky that George feared he was about to cry again, but when he returned his gaze to Matty's face, he was happily surprised to see a lopsided smile tugging at his lips instead.

"Yeah - you pull it off well, so just ignore whatever your friends said, they sound like assholes." Matty giggled when George cursed, but after hearing every supposedly forbidden word under the sun shooting between his parents, he had picked it up a bit in his own dialogue, although he was careful not to use them when other adults were present.

"You're probably right." Matty practically beamed up at George, his slightly crooked teeth showing when he stood up suddenly. "Thanks for the compliment by the way, I feel a lot better now."

"Good." George grinned back, and Matty really did look happier. If George hadn't seen it for himself, he wouldn't have believed that Matty had been crying only minutes ago, even the tracks left by his tears were erased after Matty wiped them away quickly with the back of his hand.

"Do you wanna hang out for a bit, I sort of want to explore this place some more before I head home," Matty offered while idly dusting off the seat of his trousers, removing a few sticky leaves in the process.

"Sure," George agreed instantly, glad for the company that he wasn't aware he was craving until this very moment. "I come here all the time, so I can show you the best spots."

"Great," Matty exclaimed excitedly, his feet already shifting back and forth like he couldn't wait to start moving. "Oh - I never caught your name by the way."

"It's George, and I know you're Matty, seen you about and stuff," George chuckled nervously, slightly embarrassed by the fact that Matty hadn't known of his existence until just now, not that he was very surprised.

"Oh yeah, I think my mum knows your parents." Matty nodded slowly, his eyes lighting up when a rabbit scampered by their feet. "Come on George, let's see where it's going."

Before George had a chance to respond, Matty had caught his hand in his and he was tearing after the small animal, forcing George to run along with him or else be tugged to the ground. Thankfully George's feet decided to cooperate, and it wasn't long until he was the one pulling on Matty's arm and telling him to hurry up.

Midnight

George slowly brought himself back into the present, his eyesight blurring slightly for a moment before it cleared up again. For a brief moment, he swore he had caught a glimpse of the twelve year old versions of himself and Matty darting through the distant tree line, but when he blinked rapidly, he realized it was only a pair of squirrels frolicking across the leaf strewn ground.

After their initial meeting, the two boys had quickly become inseparable. Their dalliances through the forest turned into an almost daily occurrence, and although Matty made up with some of his friends that had teased him so cruelly over his fashion sense, he seemed to prefer George's company for the most part.

Matty continued to wear whatever he liked despite the harsh words his outfits sometimes earned him, and even when he occasionally ended up crying against George's shoulder after a particularly nasty insult, Matty refused to change for anyone, which was a trait that George loved about the older boy.

George had been there for Matty when he wanted to discover why he enjoyed women's clothing so much, staying up late with him as Matty researched different genders and tried to decide which one fit him. In the end, Matty had gotten frustrated with the whole ordeal, stating that he liked his body and his cock, and he didn't need a label to explain his style or the fact that he enjoyed putting on makeup occasionally.

Matty supported George constantly as well, lending him strength during his parents' separation that had been a long time coming but finally happened not long after he turned fourteen. George wasn't all that emotional over it, because he knew it was the best option for everyone involved, especially his mother, but still - having Matty constantly by his side was a balm to the muted hurt that twisted his insides into knots whenever he thought too deeply about how things would never be the same again.

It didn't take George long after that to realize that he loved Matty as more than a friend. It wasn't a sudden thing, more of a gradual acceptance over the passage of many years, but eventually, George could no longer deny the fact that he was falling for his best mate. He had never considered the option that he might be gay before, not that he'd really given much thought to his sexuality, but it didn't matter either way to him. He adored Matty, and whether he had a dick or not wasn't going to change that.

He knew Matty was into boys as well as girls though, he was very open about that, which meant that George stood a chance of having his affections returned, but he and Matty had been friends for so long that George had no idea if Matty viewed him in that fashion or not, but there was only one way to find out.

George found the courage to admit his feelings to Matty when he was sixteen, taking him out into the forest before allowing the words to fall from his lips. George had been so fucking nervous, because no matter how much he wanted to be with Matty properly, he didn't want to put a wedge in their friendship if Matty didn't harbor the same emotions for him, but he also knew he couldn't keep this secret from his best mate any longer without driving himself insane.

Matty had laughed at first, confusing George with his expulsion of mirth, but before George could ask what the hell was so bloody hilarious, Matty was kissing him, standing up on his tip toes so he could push his mouth against George's in a physical response that had George practically bursting with joy.

"You idiot." Matty grinned once they had pulled apart, his eyes sparkling with happiness as George tried to remember how to form words again. "Took you long enough, I've been flirting with you for years you know? I was beginning to think you were just dense, or maybe not into boys at all."

"I - uh...I mean - I don't know what I like, except for you," George stammered out, his cheeks heating up when Matty smirked at him coyly. "I wanted to tell you sooner, but -"

"Can I kiss you again?" Matty cut George off mid-sentence, saving him from his embarrassing babbling with his question, and of course, George nodded instantly in agreement, lacing his fingers behind Matty's neck before losing himself in the sounds of the forest and the feeling of Matty's lips moving against his own.

That was six years ago, and he and Matty were still together and so fucking in love. They had their own flat now, and even through all the ups and downs they had experienced, Matty remained the one true constant in George's world, and coming out here to this small forest was a way to remind them both of where their relationship had started and how far they had come since then.

Matty sighed softly when George shifted, his hand curling around George's wrist as he made himself more comfortable. His eyes were focused upward like they usually were when they came out here, drinking in the stars that were scattered across the dark sky in a chaotic sprinkling that never failed to captivate Matty.

"I needed this," Matty whispered, inspiring George to wrap his arms around him in a brief hug before he allowed his limbs to fall back down by his side.

"I know," George murmured, and he did. Matty had been running himself ragged what with his classes at the university, not to mention his job at the pub. That was why they came out here, to get away, to escape, to just be with each and let their responsibilities fall off of their shoulders for one night at least.

Car lights

Matty didn't speak again after that, so George decided to remain silent as well, basking in the peaceful moment that would be over all too soon, allowing the shadows cast by the trees to dance over them, leaving dense patterns across the field which appeared an odd shade of bluish black without the sun illuminating it.

George wasn't typically a fan of the dark, it was an old fear that had carried over from childhood, in fact - he still had to sleep with the hall light on much to Matty's dismay, but being out here was different.

It wasn't as if George couldn't see, even though it was well after midnight and the only luminance came from the moon and Matty's eyes, the latter of the two was George's favorite of course. Still - he could make out the blocky form that was his truck parked off to the side, as well as the trees surrounding the small clearing they had chosen mostly because Matty wanted a good view of the sky.

This was nothing like when George was alone at home, then he needed the artificial lights to banish the nightmares lurking at the corner of his brain, to prevent the flashbacks to the worst of his parents fights, to avoid remembering when his father had hit his mother in a fit of rage, which had happened more than once. He had never touched George, but George almost wished he had if it had meant his mother would be able to escape his fists.

Even all these years later, those memories still haunted George, but the misplaced guilt and ugly images would dissipate once Matty was with him. It had always been that way, and George was so fucking grateful that Matty existed, but even more so that he was his.

Playing with the air

Matty lifted his arm skyward then, his fingers dancing across the stars like he could touch them if he just tried hard enough. George still didn't understand Matty's fascination with them, but he also didn't need an explanation for why the small pinpoints of light could keep Matty's attention for hours, it was just a facet of his personality that made Matty who he was.

Matty brought the stars with him when they left, using fairy lights to decorate their flat along with those odd lamps that came with cut out screens so when they were turned on it made the room appear akin to a night sky. They didn't actually provide much light to see by, but George didn't complain, especially not when Matty smiled at him after coming home to find George waiting in the living room with the speckled shapes dancing across his features.

Almost as if Matty had read George's mind, which George wouldn't be all that surprised if he had given how close they were, Matty inhaled deeply before tilting his head upward so he could meet George's eyes.

"The stars always calm me down you know? Makes me feel like I'm insignificant compared to them, and maybe that thought shouldn't be comforting, but it is somehow."

George hummed in agreement, understanding Matty's sentiment perfectly even though he hadn't thought of it that way until now. Sometimes it was nice to be reminded that their problems were just one of many in the universe, and although George didn't thrive off of the stars as much as Matty did, it didn't mean that he couldn't relate.

Breathing in your hair

"Is it the same for you? Is that why you used to come out here before I knew you?" Matty asked after another brief period of quiet, his skinny torso twisting around until his stomach was pressed to George's chest.

George couldn't resist leaning up to steal a quick kiss from Matty's parted lips before replying, keeping it short and sweet even though a part of him was reluctant to end the contact once it had begun. Matty giggled quietly when George pulled away, ducking his head down to hide his blush, his tousled curls tickling at George's nose each time he moved.

"Sort of," George finally answered Matty's question, idly running his fingers through Matty's locks while he gathered his thoughts. "It wasn't the stars so much though, just this place. It was mine, and now it's ours, and I guess I've always felt safer here than anywhere else. Not to mention my mom would have grounded me for ages if I stayed out after sundown, so I never got the chance to stargaze back then."

"That's true," Matty murmured, pressing into George's touch instinctually as he spoke. "Sometimes I miss being a kid, but then I remember curfews and bedtimes."

"Adulthood has its perks, that's for sure." Personally, George didn't really miss his childhood, but growing up had its pitfalls as well. George was just grateful that he was now free from the toxic environment that had been his parents home, it was much more pleasant sharing a flat with Matty and not having to worry about walking into a heated argument every day, that was for sure.

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"What do you think happens when people die?" Matty queried suddenly, his gaze dancing away from George's when he lifted his head, trying to decipher the cause of Matty's abrupt subject change, not that it was unusual for the other man to shift through topics with very little introduction between them. "I'd like to pretend they become stars," Matty stated when George didn't immediately answer, busying himself by playing with George's fingers so he could continue avoiding visual contact with him.

"That's a nice thought," George agreed with his boyfriend, sitting up slightly so Matty was firmly cradled in his lap. "You're sort of like a falling star in a way."

"Shut up," Matty huffed, but George could feel the heat of his blush through the fabric of his shirt, "you're just saying that."

"Nah, I'm serious," George protested, grinning against the top of Matty's head at the way his little compliment had Matty squirming happily. "I mean - my life was pretty shit before you showed up, and I'm not one for wishing, but if I was, I would have been praying for someone like you every chance I got."

George wasn't satisfied with his paltry explanation, because Matty was truly his own personal falling star, but he didn't have the words to tell him that. He was a pinpoint of light in a shadowy world that George couldn't survive without, he was more beautiful than the most brilliant night sky, he was George's everything, but Matty seemed to understand George's sentiment if the wide grin that spread across his face meant anything at all.

Soft sound

"Have I told you I love you today?" Matty whispered, finally raising his head so George could get a glimpse of his wide pupils which reflected the blanket of stars back up at George.

"Probably," George grinned, trailing his hands down Matty's spine as Matty leaned up to kiss him, his tongue tracing along George's bottom lip for a brief moment before he sat back on George's thighs.

"Seriously though, I'd want to become a star when I passed you know?" Matty returned to his original train of thought, his thin hands waving around, punctuating his every other word. "It makes way more sense than Heaven or Hell after all."

"I guess so." George actually had no idea where people went when they took their last breath on earth, but Matty's idea was as plausible as half of the shit he had heard before. "What's got you on this topic then?"

George instantly knew something was wrong by the way Matty's entire body locked up, his muscles going tense and rigid like they only did when he was under a great amount of stress. George had noticed that Matty had been uncharacteristically quiet today, but now he was aware that it wasn't just a bout of moodiness that had caused it - no, this was much more serious.

"Nan's sick," Matty admitted quietly, his voice emitting soft and choked off which George knew was a prelude to tears on the way. "I mean - she's been a bit off in general lately, but it's getting worse now."

Step into your skin? I'd rather jump in your bones

"Oh love," George gasped, clutching Matty tightly to his chest as the older boy began to sob softly, pulling him in as close as possible, melding their frames until it became hard to distinguish between the two of them. "I'm so sorry," George whispered, placing light kisses on Matty's hairline as he continued to cry weakly.

George had been aware that Matty's nan wasn't the epitome of health, but still - Matty and her were exceptionally close, and he knew that losing her wasn't something that Matty was prepared to face anytime soon, if ever.

George began rocking Matty back and forth gently as his tears slowly dried up, murmuring whatever soothing nonsense popped into his head, his gaze locked upward since he couldn't stand viewing Matty in so much pain.

"I - I'm okay," Matty choked out after an undetermined period of time, swiping his hand across his cheeks hurriedly as if removing the physical evidence of his small breakdown would erase the event from George's memory entirely.

"You don't have to pretend around me, you never do," George reminded him, rubbing the pad of his thumb under the corner of Matty's eyes to catch a few tears that he had missed.

Before George even realized that Matty had moved, they were kissing again. This melding was a bit harsher than their previous ones, and George could taste the lingering hint of salt tainting Matty's lips, but George knew Matty needed this distraction, so he allowed him to explore his mouth roughly, a low moan getting caught in his throat when Matty dug his nails into George's shoulder.

George was the one to pull away this time when his lungs began to ache from the lack of oxygen, and although Matty chased his mouth at first, George grabbed his wrists gently to halt his frantic movements, his chest heaving as Matty slowly sank back down against George's torso.

"I guess I'm just scared," Matty confessed, twisting himself around so he could view the sky once more. "I know everyone dies eventually, hell - that's the only guarantee in this world, but I - I want to know she'll be okay after, that she'll be happy, and not having that reassurance is ripping me apart."

"I don't know for sure where she'll go," George sighed, wishing more than anything that he could promise Matty that everything would be perfect in the end, but he refused to lie to his boyfriend, even if it would temporarily make him feel better, "but I do know that whatever happens, I'll be here for you the whole time, and who knows, maybe your nan will find a way to join the stars so she can watch over you after she's gone, I know I would do that if I died."

"Don't talk like that," Matty groaned, swatting George playfully in the ribs as he spoke, "you aren't going anywhere okay? I need you."

"Well good, because you're stuck with me." George beamed, nuzzling his head against Matty's neck, pressing a few light kisses there when Matty tossed his hair out of the way so George would have more room to work.

Taking up your mouth, so you breathe through your nose

"You always know how to make me feel better," Matty sighed in contentment, his face moving closer to George's in small increments until he and George were sharing the same air.

"It's not me, it's this place, I swear it's got magical properties."

"Oh sod off, you know I only enjoy coming here because of you - well that and the stars," Matty chuckled, his laughter increasing when George put on an expression of fake horror that even he knew probably looked ridiculous.

"And that's why you agree to come back every year, because it's so bloody awful?" George teased, kissing Matty's neck again when he continued to giggle softly.

"Of course not," Matty protested, "being here is like a promise between us, so even though I've grown out of tromping through the forest to have a good time, I'll never outgrow you."

"Matty," George exhaled sharply, unsure of what to say to showcase the sudden rush of affection he felt for his boyfriend, but Matty didn't give him a chance to reply anyway, because he was kissing him again, and this time, George didn't try to stop him.

And as the stars shone down on them, George surrendered everything to Matty's skilled tongue and pliant lips, allowing his body to collapse back onto the forest floor as they kissed lazily. Nothing else existed at that moment for George, not his horror filled nightmares, or Matty's ailing nan, or the fact that they would have to leave this place soon and return to the real world, and that was just the way George liked it.

"I love you George, so fucking much," Matty murmured during one of their breaks for air, his eyes glittering with devotion and adoration, making the sky seem paltry in comparison to them.

"I love you too, god do I love you," George heaved out, his eyes watering slightly as he was assaulted by a potent wave of emotions that centered entirely around Matty.

"You're my favorite star," Matty whispered, his words emitting so softly that George had to strain his ears to catch them, "and you always will be, because you're the only one that follows me home once we leave here."

George wanted to counter with a witty response, maybe another star related analogy, but he was too choked up to reply, so he chose to drag Matty against him once more, using his actions to convey everything that he wanted to say to Matty, and he knew that Matty understood by the way he kissed him back with so much fervor.

And even though both boys missed it given the fact that their eyes had fallen closed and their focus was only on each other, a shooting star danced across the sky just then, highlighting their entwined figures for a brief moment before it was gone, leaving them alone with the sky and their love, which was more than enough for them, it always had been, and it always would be.

Fun fact: the picture I used to make the cover was taken by my dad and the boy in it is actually my brother.

Thank you to everyone for putting up with my moving of these oneshots. I know it can get irriating but I hope you are enoying rereading them if you have seen them before.

Votes and comments are my favorite things if you would like to leave one.

I'm sending you all the love in the world xxx

- starr

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