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Chapter 16 - Breaking the Mask

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Shift cradled Athira’s limp body in his arms, looking around the room for anything that could help.

Damn it, damn it!

She was fading fast. Unintelligible words formed at her lips, some just below the reach of hearing. Her eyelids fluttered as he pressed her cheek against his chest, trying to keep her head upright. The heat from her skin bored through his suit despite any claims by the Elites that temperature protection was standard.

The heat. That’s it.

 He tightened his grip on Athira, ignoring the way his hands felt like they were pressed on a hotplate. “Zoe, watch Will. See if he stirs again, I’m going to try and cool her off.”

Zoe nodded silently, dragging her gaze from her friend.

Shift moved for the small bathroom he’d noted on their way in, taking six steps to reach it. He grabbed for the handle, trying to push down on it without dropping Athira.

It proved nearly impossible. Why? Why is this the one door in the hospital that has a handle instead of sliding?

Shift swore under his breath and kicked open the door. Black flecks from his borrowed colour engulfed its frame, crumbling it into a pile of wood shavings on the floor a second later. Before he was sure they were there, they vanished.

Grateful to simply have a way in sooner rather than later, he dismissed the thought in favour of searching for the shower.

His eyes locked on to the small area in the corner where a silver headpiece sprouted from the wall along with a simple control panel. With one sweep of his foot, he cleared out the stool and its accompanying storage thing, leaving the shower floor space dictated by frosted glass walls wide open.

Athira stirred in his arms, fingers curling against his arm that secured her to his chest. Her temperature hadn’t dropped. The runes on her body still glowed with such intensity that he could see their outline clearly through her suit.

“Hang on, Thira,” he muttered.

Shift laid her against the wall, one hand behind her head so it didn’t crack against the tiles. He tried not to rush, but the sense of urgency was building. Her eyes were closed, skin flushed by the invisible, blazing aura around her. Her rambled words drifted into silence, a horrible silence that he felt the need to fill.

 “Easy does it,” he said quietly. “You’ll be okay.”

He kept mumbling short words of encouragement, reassurances, anything to plug the nothingness otherwise plaguing his ears. Somehow, it signalled something final. If the silence took over, that was it. The end.

Hurry up, hurry up.

Once he was sure she wasn’t about to fall, Shift turned his attention to the control panel. He pushed the buttons in frenzy as he tried to make it work. Why it didn’t simply have buttons for on, off, hot cold was beyond him, but apparently someone felt the need to have at least fifteen of the little buggers and that someone was not on his list of favourite people at the moment.

“Why can’t I be a water elemental?” he asked no one in particular.

He grabbed the showerhead and redirected it, a trickle of water running out but not nearly enough. More button mashing. Nothing.

Shift slammed the panel with his palm. “Come on!”

Something beeped, and the showerhead came to life.

With a sigh of relief, Shift slid the temperature down as low as it could go and once the water had responded, slid down the wall himself.

Showers have never been so stressful.

The water sizzled as it hit Athira, dancing off her body like it would a hot plate. The liquid beads only lasted a moment before turning to steam despite the freezing temperature it fell at. A layer of fog quickly coated the insides of the already frosted glass.

Shift briefly considered going back to Zoe but dismissed the idea as soon as it came. She’d likely aim a laser for his face if he left Athira alone like this, something that wasn’t particularly appealing to him even without the consequence.

He turned his hands palm-up and let the edge of the water fall on them as he waited. He wrinkled his nose at the sight of blisters already forming across his angry skin. The cool water placated it somewhat, though he knew the painful sting would return as soon as he took them out.

Seriously though, who makes a shower control that complicated in a hospital?

A few minutes went by.

Athira’s eyes were still closed, although the strained lines on her face seemed to have smoothed. The water was taking longer to evaporate off her. The rune outlines weren’t quite so visible. Shift’s mind put this together to suggest that the cold water was at least helping reverse the generated heat, even if he suspected that getting her away from Will was the best thing they could have done.

Zoe hadn’t hesitated to fire a laser straight into Athira’s chest after Shift asked, something he thought would have taken some convincing. It made him wonder how much Zoe and Raph had experienced in Athira’s earlier years. What they knew about her, what they’d guessed.

Or what Athira let them think.

Athira stirred. Shift watched her carefully as she blinked, taking in her surroundings with suspicion lining her features. Her raven hair was plastered to her face thanks to the water, and eventually the grey eyes turned to him.

“Shift,” she said slowly. “Why are you in a shower with me?”

“You sort of freaked us out after you started making choking noises and collapsed. We had to do something.”

She looked as if she didn’t believe him. “So the next logical solution was to put me in the shower?”

“You were burning, Athira. Your bare touch set Will’s sheet on fire. Not a fire elemental by any chance, are you?”

The joke fell flat. “That’s not...“she began. Her gaze dropped to his hands. Guilt covered her face. “Your hands.“

Shift gave her a weak laugh, trying not to cringe at the sight of his skin. “I sort of carried you in here. Even with the suit’s heat protection, you were rather hot. In the temperature sense.”

Athira tried to push herself up from the wall, but it was obvious the action was a struggle. Shift knelt up, gently pushing her shoulders with the back of his hands.

“Take it easy,” he said. “We have time.”

She held out her hand for his. Shift complied, and Athira stroked the thin lines between his blisters as he tried not to flinch.

“You’ve still got some of my colour, right?” she said, giving his hand back. “Use it. If you ask it, it’ll seal your skin for you.”

“Is that why you don’t blister?” asked Shift. “You can heal?”

Athira snorted. “Not exactly. More my colour just won’t let its precious vessel die so easily.”

“Vessel?”

She looked away. “Just do it.”

Shift glanced at his hands, pulling Athira’s colour to them. Unsure how to ask it, he focused on the growing stinging sensation and imagined it gone, picturing his hands as they had been. The slight searing sensation he’d come to associate with her colour prickled over his body, but sure enough the skin on his hands smoothed over. They were unmarked as ever.

“Well that’s neat,” he said, turning over his hands.

Athira relaxed back against the wall. She seemed content to allow the water to soak her, and any hopes Shift had that she’d continue with the vessel line of thought were quelled.

At least she hasn’t tried to run yet. Or leave. Or avoid me.

He took it upon himself to keep the conversation moving. He coughed, and she opened one eye.

Shift took that as a good sign. “Whatever you did with Will worked, by the way. He woke up for a second, said something about a girl and goo then went back out again. If you could--“

“I can’t do that again.”

Her dead tone stopped him. “What do you mean--“

“I mean, I can’t do that again,” she said slowly. The other eye opened. “Ever since we fought Reader at the docks, since he triggered that... thing inside of me, I haven’t been right. My body feels like it’s constantly being pushed around, dizzy, nauseous.”

Shift wasn’t sure where she was going. “So... do you need a doctor? Might be coming down with something?”

She drew her knees up to her chest. “Shift, I think my colour’s cracked.”

“Cracked?”

“The runes, Talon, myself, we managed to seal most of my colour off from my body, keeping it in my mindscape so it couldn’t overload me like it did just then.” Athira shrugged. “There was always a slight opening so I could use it whenever I liked, but small enough so I couldn’t kill myself accidentally.”

Shift caught on. “Only now, that opening isn’t so small. It’s cracked.”

She nodded, staring at the drain where the water swirled away. “And whatever this sleeper thing is, whatever has Will subdued, it reacted with my colour and pulled it from me. The two powers recognised each other. I think that’s what’s happening with these disturbances. It’s the sleeper’s power getting loose, and that’s why I felt it.”

“So whatever this sleeper is,” said Shift. “Is it safe to assume that it’s something similar to Rathe?”

“It’s what I’d put my life on,” said Athira.

Interesting choice of words. “Would it be worth trying to limit the use of your colour until we figure out how to put the sleeper, well, back to sleep?”

Athira snorted. “If only it was that easy.”

“Why isn’t it that easy?” asked Shift. “Other than Zoe and myself, I don’t know any colours that can’t control their colour and prevent themselves from using it. And even us, if we really try...”

He let the idea trail off. Athira continued to stare into the drain, her face hard.

“Athira, we have to try something--“

“You saw what happened in my mindscape,” she said, cutting him off. “I didn’t even think about it when I used it despite the fact that it lit us up like a beacon.”

“So just--“

“I can’t not use it, Shift. Nothing holds it back.” She held out her wrist, pulling back the suit to reveal unmarked skin. “Talia’s rune, gone in seconds. She’s not exactly a weak runer, either. These other ones just slow the flow of colour as it rushes through the seal. It’s the only reason they haven’t eroded away yet.”

Athira covered her skin again. “If I don’t use it -- and believe me, I’ve tried -- it builds up. It sits behind the seal until the seal can’t hold it any longer and then? Then it crashes down all at once.”

“Like it did with Will then?”

She shook her head slowly. Her eyes left the drain to stare at the frosted glass beside him.

“You’ve heard about the Winslo’s Point disaster a few years ago, no doubt.”

Shift frowned. “What does that...”

He trailed off as her silent grey eyes found his and he caught the meaning behind them.

Winslo’s Point. A small but thriving town a few hours away from Sirah, just outside of the harbour side city of Drome.

“After I tracked down Shutdown. Killed him,” she said. “I realised exactly what I was. I saw things that would happen no matter what path I took. That no matter what I did, my colour made me a monster.” She paused, gaze once more on the frosted glass. “So, the stubborn thing I am, I vowed I would never use it again.”

Athira shook her head, resting her elbows on her knees and gripping the roots of her hair with her fingers, pulling the wet locks taut.

“How stupid I was. Thinking that I could fix something so large with something so simple. Even with the things I saw, the cities burning, the dying people, I still refused to believe it. I refused to believe that it was the only option. But after weeks of not using it, the seal broke.”

Shift stared at her, not wanting to voice the pieces coming together as she spoke.

Winslo’s Point.

The small, once thriving town a few hours away from Sirah, just outside the harbour side city of Drome that was obliterated in a single explosion of unprecedented magnitude that levelled the buildings and took all the citizens with it.

“Everyone, Shift.” Athira’s voice cracked. “Everyone. Because one day I couldn’t take not using my colour, too addicted to it without realising. Families, couples, people, all destroyed because I didn’t think it would hurt to use my colour to lift a cup. A god damned cup!”

“Athira,” said Shift. His voice sounded pathetic. “Thira, it’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked. “If I didn’t happen, if I wasn’t there, those people would still be alive. That town wouldn’t be a scorched mark on the ground. And I walked away. I’m the monster. I didn’t deserve to live. I still don’t deserve to live.”

That was enough for Shift.

In one swift movement, he braved the full force of the falling, freezing water of the shower and crossed the invisible line between them. He placed himself next to her. Without a word, he wrapped an arm around Athira’s shoulders and pulled her to him. She made a feeble attempt to push him away, which only made him hold on to her tighter, hugging her against his side.

“Why?” she asked. “How can you stand to be near me? Shouldn’t you be locking me up, throwing me away with the rest of the villains? I’m worse than all of their pathetic schemes stuck together.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt them,” he said, mouthing the words into the top of her head. “That’s what makes you different from the rest of the villains we arrest. They’re evil. They’re cruel and malicious and twisted and they don’t care who they hurt to get their way. But you? If you could have saved them, you would have. Just like you did me, a stranger at Starpoint tower.”

The shower fell silent except for the water as it splashed against the floor. Athira seemed content to lay against him, legs curled up against her with Shift’s arms circling her.

Shift didn’t want to let her go. Despite how much she shut it down, he suspected the guilt came back to haunt her at night. He couldn’t even begin to piece together exactly how she kept going, hiding everything behind that blank mask under a cloak. Imagining her as the Owl, a figure that struck uncertainty into villains and Elites alike was nearly impossible when he looked at the girl on the floor beside him.

Too focused on the bad to see the good.

They sat there, locked together in silence for a long minute. Shift waited for her, sensing she wanted to say more but was still figuring out how. His patience paid off.

“I found Talon there. At Winslo’s Point,” she said.

“Really?” asked Shift.

He felt the movement of her head as she nodded. “He was on the outskirts of the... the blast. His body was gone, feathers mostly burnt from his body but his spirit still fought. I tried to nurse him back to health, but it wasn’t long until I realised he was going to die. So I reached for his mindscape.”

“How did that go?”

“He was confused at first, didn’t understand what had happened,” said Athira. “I told him, explained that it was my fault his body had failed, asked what he wanted me to do.”

She paused for a second, biting the corner of her lip. “Somehow, he forgave me, said he wanted to help me guard against future outbreaks, as he called them. So I tied his spirit to the amulet and gave him access to my mindscape so he could fly free once more.”

“And after all this time, he’s never gone back on you?” said Shift. Her silence confirmed his suspicion. “Don’t you think that means something from someone who’s seen your mindscape, the place where you can’t lie to anyone?”

“He’s not a human, Shift,” said Athira. “Even though he possesses the intelligence of one, his spirit is that of a raven. They aren’t subjected to the same blights upon their personalities as we are. It’s why he can fight Rathe so well, because Rathe can’t directly affect him as he can me.”

“Does Talon also believe it’s hopeless?”

She fell silent for a moment. Her reply was quiet. “He knows that we’re fighting a losing war, though we may win the battles.”

“What war?”

“Against Rathe.”

Shift tried to gather his thoughts. “There has to be something we can do,” he said. An idea came to him. “Remember what Reader said, about the Spectrum?”

Athira shrugged. “It’s a legend. A myth, at best, one that is given even less credit than usual. It came up exactly once during my search for answers. In case you’re wondering, that’s much less often than the unavoidable doom and destruction every second book seemed to prophesise.”

“There can’t be nothing.”

“I’ve tried not using it,” said Athira. Her voice simply sounded dead, like she’d already given up. “I’ve looked for people who might know more. I’ve searched ancient texts, studied legends and myths, anything that might have clues contained in it. I’ve even tried killing myself a few times, hoping that it would stop it, but my colour won’t let me die. Not before I’ve made myself useful.”

Shift frowned at her. “Why would you do that?”

“Because when you know you’re going to be the sole reason for ending billions of lives if you survive, you don’t want to live either.”

Shift couldn’t help himself. He “Why do you think it’s going to be your fault? Rathe’s the one that’s going to destroy everything,” he said. “Not you.”

“It’s the same thing.” Athira sighed. “Every book, every scroll I found specifies that he’s not currently in this dimension, that there’s a link that will be activated and bring him here. I’ve always known that somehow, I’m connected to him. I don’t know how. I don’t know if I ever want to know, but I can’t escape the fact that I am.”

“Because you see him in your mindscape?” asked Shift. She didn’t reply. “I’m just trying to understand, Athira. You have to help me.”

Still, she hesitated. “You know I see him in my mindscape, that part of him resides there. Sometimes, I’m not even sure if it’s my mindscape, or if I’m just a part of his. And if a person doesn’t have their own mindscape, are they even real, or just an aspect of the other?”

“You’re pretty real to me. And to Zoe. Real enough that Talon can live through you.”

Black flecks danced around Athira’s fingers as she flexed them. “I’m scared, Shift. I’m scared that I’m going to be the link that brings Rathe into this dimension, the thing that will cause the destruction of an entire planet.”

She closed her hand into a fist, vanquishing the flecks. “And even if I’m not the link, it’s still going to be my fault. I have the power to keep at least part of him subdued. I’m his guardian, the warden of his cell.”

“You’re convinced that Rathe is coming no matter what, aren’t you?” said Shift.

 “I believe a passage from one particular book was ‘and his mere presence shall burn those which surround him from the inside out, leaving their shallow husks upon his Kingdom forevermore bathed in flame’, or something along those lines.”

“Vivid description, if a little morbid,” said Shift. “But I know you. You’ll fight until you can’t.”

“You’ve known me for what, a week?” said Athira. “That’s--“

“--enough time for me to know that much about you,” finished Shift. “Besides, are you forgetting I’ve seen your mindscape?”

“You can read mindscapes now, can you?” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Not so much mindscapes as someone’s being through their colour,” said Shift. “And it’s not in your being to give up without a fight.”

Athira flicked some of the pooling water from the floor up at him, catching herself more than him. “What part of the ‘I spent most of my life looking for a way out’ tells you I’ve given up without a fight?”

“The part where you’re sitting in a freezing shower next to me telling me it’s hopeless and you’ve done everything and the war is won before it’s even over.”

“It’s just too late, Shift. I’m out of time.”

“Too late?” he asked. “Does that mean there’s a date attached to this prophecy, when the link opens?”

Athira stirred uncomfortably beside him. “The earliest I found said two years ago, and something about Rathe’s behaviour changed around that point. He became more aggressive in the mindscape, started actively seeking me out like he knew something was happening. It’s only become worse since then.”

“Right,” said Shift with more confidence than he felt. “So you’ve held on this long past the supposed expiry date. You’re already proving them wrong.”

“So?”

“So, you’re not allowed to give up now, Thira,” said Shift. “We’re going to figure this sleeper out together with the rest of Indigo, and then we’re going to teach Rathe a thing or two about prisoner behaviour expectations.”

Athira peered up at him, giving him a curious look. “You called me Thira,” she said.

Shift opened his mouth to reply before closing it to stare straight ahead. Had he? He looked back at her, still waiting for a reply.

“Is that okay?” he asked.

She turned slightly so her body was facing him, sitting on her hip rather than sideways. Her grey eyes searched his for a moment , only centimetres apart. Shift could feel the warmth of her skin despite the freezing water falling on them.

Just when he was sure she was going to retract, Athira lifted her head and pressed her lips to his.

The contact lasted only a second before she retreated, leaving only a blazing space of warmth and Shift in complete shock. His eyes opened, having closed automatically as he stared at the space ahead.

Athira quickly turned herself back the way she had been, looking as far away as she could manage. “Sure, turtle.”

Shift nudged her with his shoulder. She gave him a quick glance, cheeks flushed before looking away again.

“This turtle has saved your behind twice now,” he said.

“That just makes us even,” she said quickly.

Shift lifted one hand to her face, cupping the side of her cheek as he brought her head towards him, turning her body with his other.

“Except on one thing,” he said.

Athira didn’t resist as he tilted her head back and leant down until the heat of her skin was once again on his. Her own hands reached up behind his neck to tangle in his hair, holding him to her as he kissed her.

Neither of them really had an idea what they were doing, but Shift didn’t care. The idea of Athira holding him like she needed him, of her lips moving against his sent a thrill through him like nothing ever had before. Even as they broke contact, foreheads resting against the other and breaths mingling in the small space between them, that thrill didn’t disappear.

He couldn’t help the smirk breaking through. “Now we’re even,” he said, voice barely a whisper.

Athira gave him the barest hint of a smile and slid her hand down his neck to rest on his shoulders.

“Whatever you say, turtle.”

The sudden disappearance of her skin made Shift shiver, the cold of the water finally seeping into his skin. The remnants of Athira’s colour had finally faded from his system. Despite their contact, his colour didn’t seem keen to begin shifting more of it just yet.

Maybe it just needs a break from the hardcore stuff.

Athira caught it. She wriggled an arm from his grip and raised her hand towards the shower control. The panel turned black, the buttons outlined in a thicker white line than usual. She tilted her fingers and the temperature control complied. A second later, and the water falling from the showerhead was warm.

“Better?” she asked.

“Much,” said Shift. “Now, as much fun as the thought of sitting in a shower with you is, if you’re feeling up to it I do believe there’s an Elite that we’re supposed to meet.”

Athira nodded, her smile now having broken past the mask. Shift stood up and offered her a hand, pulling her to her feet. He went to lead her out of the bathroom but she pulled him back.

“Shift?”

He turned around to face her, raising an eyebrow in question.

She tilted her head, features uncertain. “You really think we can fight it?”

Shift moved back towards her, squeezing her hand. “I don’t think anything is impossible unless you let yourself give up,” he said. “If you’re up for it, I’m up for it, and so is the rest of Indigo. You might have been fighting it for years, but you were fighting it alone. Not anymore.”

“Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?” she asked, although this time, her voice was more amused than anything else.

“Nope,” said Shift. “But I’ll bet Rathe’s never come across the beauty that is Zoe and Talia when they’re pissed.”He tilted his head towards the door. “Besides, we’ve got something he doesn’t.”

“And what’s that?” asked Athira as they came up behind Zoe.

Shift gave her a grin. “A weaponised turtle.”

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A/N - I'll just go hide in that corner over there now ---> This chapter, man, this chapter. 

Please comment/vote if you're sorta maybe liking Indigo or this chapter, I don't even know. *hides*