CHAPTER ONE
▬ DEFINITION OF HOME

      STUDIES HAVE STATED THAT DADDY ISSUES stem from psychological challenges that result from an absent father or an abnormal relationship with one's father. From the minute his wife pushed their firstborn out he didn't care about the fact that she had given birth on their bed and that her blood seeped the expensive covers he purchased or that she was in such agonizing pain. All he could focus on was the fact that it wasn't a son like he had thought, that it wasn't going to be a boy to carry his legacy that he worked so hard to build, but a girl. Unlike his wife he didn't fall in love with her, he didn't see anything special in those dull brown eyes. All he saw was a burden.

      He didn't bother to name her, he gave his wife that pleasure. Because in the eyes of Kalvin Phan, there was no point, after all, it wasn't the child he wanted.

      She was just another burden of his.

      Daphne Phan is a city girl and it's quite obvious to many. Her clothes put her out of place with her snow-white faux fur coat and the glittering earrings that sparkled with each step she took. It wasn't like her and her family was extremely well off, no, they were perfectly middle class with their average-size house, their average car, and their average lifestyle. But that didn't mean the only Phan child is. No, she's not even close to being average. Everywhere she went she caught the attention of many with her eye-catching clothes and this confidence that she carries herself with. Still, even in a big city like Seattle, she didn't stand out too much, she was just another high schooler who dressed a bit more mature than needed and wore clothes that weren't appropriate for the Washington weather — will she catch hypothermia one day because her shirts can almost pass off as bralettes, maybe. So there's no doubt in a drab and small town like Forks she was to grab eyes. After all, it wasn't every day that you get to see a new face around.

      The town didn't seem like much in her opinion and she already found herself freaking out about it. She can only hope that it wasn't like how it was going to be in the movies where everyone knows everyone and their favorite pastimes are listening to baseless rumors about who's dating who or who broke up with who. And though she loves highschool drama as much as the next person, she wasn't looking forward to being their latest topic like 'Why did she move to town?' or 'What happened in her hometown that she's here?' Things like that. But she's pretty sure that at some point someone will find out that she's a former druggie — okay kinda former — and that she went to Juvie, not like that helped much. Hopefully, that'll give her brownie points for being some level of cool or force people to stand clear from her. 

      It wasn't like she's some trainwreck about to happen because she's pretty sure the damage has been caused long ago. Sure, there are definitely times where she's sorry to her parents for not being the obedient daughter like they hoped or more specifically to her dad for not having a dick and for actually being a girl instead of the son he always wanted. It wasn't like Daphne decided what she'd be. The icing on top was probably when he found out that his daughter wears what he calls 'whore clothes.' At this point, Daphne was used to leaving the house in cashmere sweaters only to strip at the end of her school's parking lot into her mini skirts and platform heels by the time she got there. 

      Oh, and then there were the drugs. Daphne's pretty sure she shouldn't be smoking since it's well known that her family has a history of lung cancer due to them being heavy smokers. Still, that didn't deter her from spending most of her salary buying weed or using it during the weekends. But of course, it had to be the very party where it turns out her boyfriend isn't actually her boyfriend — he defended himself by saying that he thought they weren't exclusive which is a load of bullshit — and before she knew it she poured her drink all over him whilst the cops busted the party where the air reeked of weed and there were teenagers out of their mind all around them.

      Drugs aren't cool, she knows that, after all, she was literally a poster child to protest drug usage. No, she's not kidding, her mom saw an advertisement asking for younger kids to become models for posters and she made a quick buck off of it — of course, that money went to her parents' bank account the minute they received the check. And okay sure, maybe she started taking in hopes of finally catching her parents' attention, but that spiraled down quickly and turned to shit.

      Somehow the court was lenient towards her, though she believes it's because of the false sob story her mom told them about how Daphne was always troubled and that they tried their best but they couldn't control everything she does. She even had an English translator did it for her which Daphne finds ironic since her mom speaks perfect English. Then on top of being a minor, she wasn't charged as an adult and her only punishment was to go to Juvie for drug rehabilitation for a few months and before she knew it she returned home where her parents practically placed her on house arrest with the only places she was allowed to go to being school, church on Sundays, and the library.

      Of course, Daphne told her then best friend Caroline about everything that happens at home: from her dad always shouting at her for being a failure, her mom doing absolutely nothing to stop her husband, and the night always ends with Daphne locking her door when her parents are asleep in fear that her dad might do something and crying under her blankets because she hates her life and she doesn't know what to do.

      Soon enough it wasn't long until Child Services came to check things out. And with Caroline's testimony along with some of the neighbors who confirm the troubles going on at the Phan household, a case was made. Before Daphne knew it, her ears were ringing as her father cursed in Vietnamese at the family judge and her mother broke down in pained tears. She wasn't sure what happened after that, Hell, she didn't even understand what was going on until she leaned to her side and asked the Social Service worker what was going to happen.

      And Maura Padley, her social worker, smiled sadly before she squeezed Daphne's hand before she replied in a lower voice, "Everything's going to be alright now, Daphne. They can't ever hurt you again. You'll be placed in a new home where you'll have a new family."

      It was all blur for the next few months and Daphne wasn't sure if it was because she mentally blocked it all out or something. But she remembers staying with a foster family for the first three months after that. They were a pretty shit family. The type to have meatloaf Sundays and needed everything to be perfect so they looked like the loving Nuclear family Daphne made them out to be. She knew right off the bat that they only fostered kids so they looked better to their peers. After all, fostering a little Vietnamese kid practically makes them look spotless to the community. But eventually, they realized that she is not a new shiny toy for them to play with and her tricks consist of doing cool smoke tricks and opening a bottle of beer with a spoon. Soon enough she was passed along to the next family who didn't take too long to get annoyed with the girl's antics.

      What can she say, she's a girl of many charms.

      "You know small towns work differently than the cities," Maura spoke, her voice breaking Daphne out of her thoughts. The older woman didn't even blink twice at the glare sent her way, her eyes remained on the empty road ahead as she lowered the radio that played a Coldplay song. "That means not being able to ask some adult to buy you cigarettes. They'll remember your face soon enough, girl."

      "I didn't ask that guy to buy me cigs," Daphne muttered under her breath as she placed her heels on the dashboard of Maura's car. The social worker scolded before silently telling Daphne off. Rolling her eyes, Daphne listened and took her legs off the dashboard, but she still huffed out a breath in irritation. She respected Maura to some degree that she wasn't going to outright rebel. "He offered. Not my fault he didn't know I'm a minor."

      "You could've told him."

      "Oh boohoo. So what? Why do you even care what I do with my body? You're not my mom." Daphne didn't let Maura get another say before she placed her headphones over her head and blared Destiny's Child to the loudest setting. She even went as far as to close her eyes to pretend like she's sleeping even though they both know damn well that there's no way she can sleep with that. But her heart weighed heavy at the words she spoke aloud. There was no need for her to be rude, but she couldn't help it. Did she ever even have a mom? The recreational one, she means, you know, the ones you see in the movies or the ones her friends gush about. The type to bake cookies for no apparent reasons — then again she's Vietnamese so maybe not cookies per se — or the type to take her daughter out for clothes shopping even though they both clearly don't need it. She doesn't think she ever has.

      She couldn't deny that seeing those picture-perfect moms in the movies or shows hasn't once made her disappointed or sad. There were times where she wonders if she'd ever get that: getting manicures with her mom or eating lunch with her so that they could talk about what's going on in their lives without the judgmental gaze of her father upon them.

      And as much as she despised a majority of the foster families she had, she couldn't deny that she envied them a little bit. Mainly because of their sense of normalcy, their chance of having that white fenced dream, the American dream if you will. This town seemed to be close to the images she grew up with: the tight-knit households, the closeness of a community, and the feeling of a home.

      She wants a home too.

      And Daphne breaks from her facade of sleep as Maura rests her hand on her forearm. The house was everything she wanted as a little girl: a two-storied house, a red mailbox, and a front lawn scattered with bikes and different balls. Standing in front of the door watching Maura and Daphne is her new foster dad, Anson Belanger, someone she recognizes easily thanks to their last scheduled meeting at her last foster situation. Hell, her last set of foster parents couldn't wait to hand her off. In front of him with his hands on their shoulders are who she assumes are his sons, the eldest probably her age whilst the youngest looked awkward and awfully shy.

      "They're good people, Daphne," Maura insists as she finally manages to get the girl out of her car. Daphne said nothing as Maura helped her get her belongings out: a canvas backpack from her first foster mom and two trash bags that had her stuff in them. She shifted her weight from leg to the other, uncomfortable from the stares she received from the Belanger's neighbors who stared at her like she's an unknown species. There was no doubt judgment from them and though she rarely cared what others thought of her, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Hell, she didn't have any real bags.

      Anson Belanger's face dropped at the sight of the trash bags and cursed under his breath. Though he's never experienced anything that Daphne must have, he knows how deeming it is for someone to carry their belongings in garbage bags. He made his way down the stairs and towards the women, following him were his sons. "Hey, Daphne, so good to see you again," the patriarch greeted as he offered to take one of her trash bags. Daphne wordlessly agreed but smiled in return at Anson's kindness. "If I had known that they didn't give you bags to carry your stuff I would've gotten you a backpack or — "

      "It's okay, Mr. Belanger," Daphne interrupts. Maura gives her a warning look that she easily ignores. She's acting as if she spat on Anson's shoes or something. "It's fine, I don't mind."

      He doesn't protest and hums in agreement. Anson turns to his sons and pushes them forward with a proud smile on his wrinkled face. The taller and older one looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here whilst his little brother looks so high off of caffeine that Daphne is almost tempted to stop smoking weed. 

      Almost.

      "These are my boys and I hope that they won't be too much of a pain in your ass," Anson jokes, however, his smile falters once he realizes the forced smile on Daphne's face. "Uh, this is my oldest, Ivan. He's about your age and he'll be going to Forks High with you so I'll make sure he helps you around of course."

      Ivan Belanger was nothing like his father. Whilst Anson looked like he was one of those guys whose prime was in high school, Ivan looked overly awkward. Though he was lanky compared to his dad, she could see traces of Anson in him. The same sincere eyes and the lack of judgment in them as well. He wasn't the type of guy she'd give the time of day, the type she'd brand as a loser or an outsider. But that was then and this is new, if anything, he's higher than her on the food chain right now. Still, that doesn't mean she can't beat his ass if he steps out of line. She may appear small and frail, but she has four-inch heels for a reason.

      "Nice to meet you," she murmurs even though they both know she clearly doesn't mean it.

      "And this is Brody, my little rockstar," Anson beamed as he squeezed the curly-haired boy's shoulder. Brody, unlike his older brother, was a bit oblivious and smiled far too brightly for Daphne's taste as he sticks his hand out for her shake, "You know, Ivan said you looked like a bitch, but you actually look really nice — "

      "Okay, that's enough from you," Anson rushed out as he clamped his hand over Brody's mouth. The high school freshman looked at his father confusedly whilst Ivan elbowed him harshly. The older son looked petrified at the fact that his brother had so blatantly pointed out his feelings towards his new 'sister' and looked like he was gonna shit bricks.

      Daphne couldn't help but smile at his words, at least someone was honest around here and if it had to be the awkward highschool freshman than so be it. Besides, she's gonna need someone to talk to about the latest gossip around town. "My boys will make sure that school will be a breeze for you. Before you know it, you and Ivan will be graduating in no time!"

      That's what I thought about the last place, she thought bitterly to herself. Daphne knew the reality of what was to really happy. The last home she stayed at was around the last semester of her junior year and Maura had hoped that she would've been able to stay and graduated there. But of course, Daphne realized she didn't like it there and did anything she could to leave. Still, she plays with Anson's fantasy of having two kids graduate high school and the possibility of college. However, Daphne is a pessimist or rather a realist and knows that her future won't be like Ivan's who will always have it easier than her. Even if she only has a few more months until graduation.

      Ivan seemed to be the type of guy to have everything going for him: knows where he wants to go to college, knows what he wants to be in life, and has the means and motivation to get to where he wants in life. And then there was her, unsure of what lays after graduation besides the possibility of moving back to Seattle in hopes that her relationship with her parents isn't completely ruined and they'll somehow forgive her.

      "I hope to see that day come true," Maura muses. The social worker then turns to Daphne who returns her gaze with a bored look in her eyes, the young girl even scowled in distaste when the older woman placed her hand on Daphne's shoulder. "You have my phone number and email if you need anything, you know that right? Don't hesitate to contact me for anything and I mean anything, Daphne. Do you understand me?"

      "Yes, Maura," Daphne grumbles in reply. She isn't sure why Maura even bothered, after all, they've been through this before. Hell, she bets that they'll be repeating this once again in about three months or so.

      Maura says nothing and gives Daphne a look that she deciphers as 'be good or else.' And as Maura gets back into her car, Daphne waves at the older woman, giving her a sarcastic smile.

      She'll play nice for now, but like all the other places, she'll grow bored of Forks, Washington sooner or later.

♔ ♔ ♔

      FOR AWHILE LIFE GOES ON QUIETLY in the Belanger household. Daphne lives by a routine of waking up in her own room — though it used to be Ivan's and the only proof of that are the superhero stickers stuck to the windows — and having breakfast with the Belanger boys before Anson was off to work and her new brothers were off to school. Of course, her paperwork wasn't yet filed so that meant an extra few days off which she spent on the balcony of her bedroom smoking one of the last boxes of cigarettes she had left and rewatching Pulp Fiction more than she'd like to admit whilst eating instant ramen. Then Ivan would come back with Brody and the two boys would eat way too many snacks before going back to their new shared room and leaving Daphne on her own.

      But today was different because now she'd spend six hours of her day in a poorly air-conditioned school that smelt like bleach and whiteboard markers. And though she never minded the idea of school — it wasn't like she actually learned anything, it was more of an excuse to see her friends — she couldn't deny that being the new girl at school wasn't something she was quite yet used to.

      Ivan and Daphne were to go to school together after dropping off Brody at his middle school whilst Anson left early for work. The car rides were more than awkward with Brody's incessant talking of random facts he had read about last night or how he wants hot dogs for dinner to which Ivan would tell him to shut up before continuing his drive. But it was better than if it were just her and Ivan which would leave nothing but a tense atmosphere that made her want to throw herself out the passenger side's window.

      "We have lunch together so if you want to meet up just let me know," Ivan awkwardly mutters. Daphne suddenly misses his brother who would fill the silence with his rambling. "The library is a good place if you want some quiet or something. The cafeteria's always filled and noisy so I'm not sure if you like it or we can go to the courtyard and — "

      "The cafeteria sounds good," she interrupts curtly as they pull up to the school's parking lot, grateful that this conversation was ending. They were already running a bit later than they expected and Daphne still had to go to the main office to get everything worked out before she could even attend her first class. So she points to the first available parking spot that caught her eye. "There's a parking spot right there."

      Ivan looks at her hesitantly and slowly approaches the spot, "Daphne, I know you're new and all, but this spot is off-limits."

      "Why? Is it a teacher's?"

      "Well no, but — "

      "If there's no name on it it's free for all, so park the car, Ivan," Daphne pointed out irritably.

      Quietly, Ivan complied and drove right into the parking spot. Though he looked rather nervous doing so. His eyes would dart back and forth on both sides surrounding his car, almost as if he's expecting someone to pop out. But Daphne remained oblivious to his nervousness and got out of the car without a second thought and her new brother followed in suit, but in a much more nervous manner.

      And it's no surprise that eyes are drawn to Daphne. They reacted the same when Bella Swan moved to their small town in buttfuck nowhere, but the police chief's daughter didn't stand out as she did. Whilst Bella was more muted and tried her absolute best to not stand out, Daphne was the complete opposite with her bedazzled white headband, the baby pink pleated skirt that wasn't complimenting to the cold weather of Forks, and

      Still, perhaps it was her confidence and the lack of fear in her eyes that made them scared of the new change in their drab town.

      After all, they didn't need someone like Daphne to stir up their picturesque town.

      "I'd move that car if I were you," a soft, almost gentle-like voice spoke out as Daphne reached the front steps of the school. He leaned against the short brick wall next to the staircase, left hand in the pockets of his coat, and a small frown expressed on his pale lips. His eyes only met hers for a few seconds, eyes so bright that it was almost breathtaking, but they remained on the paperback book in his right hand.

      "Is that a threat?" Daphne asked, hands settling on her hips.

      "Daphne," Ivan murmured as he tugged on her shoulder, silently asking her with his eyes to leave the conversation and go. He looked on edge over the guy who had spoken up and the way he tensed up told her many. Yet she shrugged off his hand and refused to look away from the beautiful boy in front of her.

      "Not like you were gonna take the parking spot anyways by the looks of it," she stated haughtily as her ever-so-wicked smirk took place on her lips. She cocked her head to the side. 

      Judging by the reaction of others around her from just speaking to this guy and from Ivan, it was pretty clear that he was trouble. Maybe not as troubling as her, but enough trouble to make this boring town a little more fun for her. Perhaps she wanted to piss others off, wanted to the shock factor that came from even interacting with this boy.

      But she didn't want to admit that maybe it's because he's so shockingly beautiful, so breathtaking that Daphne's heart skipped a beat at the mere sight of him. His dark hair contrasted greatly with his pale skin, and though there's this aura of sadness entrapping him, he's still one of the most attractive people she's ever laid eyes on.

      Edward, now seemingly annoyed with the fact that she continued to speak to him, closed his book and stood up. His tall stature allowing him to almost tower over her as his eyes fixated in a glare. However, something in his eyes softened momentarily. His eyes glazed over her almost as if every crevice and scar on her body told a multitude of untold stories. But his eyes hardened almost just as fast and a scowl heavily settled on his face.

      He wasn't sure what to make of the outlandish girl in front of him. She wants a challenge and to her, it seemed that he was it, but from past experience, Edward Cullen knew better than to listen to girls with pretty brown eyes. Because it was the darkness within them that concealed their inner thoughts and feelings. And even if he was considered a monster, she was much worse than him.

      "Word of advice, maybe you should keep your mouth shut before it gets you in trouble," he murmurs lowly. He hated how strongly her perfume smelt, how smug her gaze was, and how she was determined to look him in the eyes instead of backing down.

      Before she could get another word in, his eyes averted to something behind Daphne and Ivan. And when Daphne turned around, all she was met with were a group of people surrounding Ivan's car. But what caught her attention was the pretty blonde with porcelain skin staring angrily and looking as if she was about to bash the windows of the car and if it weren't for the guy who looked like he was on steroids holding her back, Daphne honestly believes she would've.

      "WHO PARKED IN MY PARKING SPOT?" roared the blonde. 

      Daphne heard a huff from behind her. "I told you," she heard him say. And by the time she turned around, she was met with the sight of his back as he walked into the school.

      Ivan shook his head as he stepped to Daphne's side who couldn't tear her eyes away. "Look, I don't know what you did or what you've done, but can I warn you about something? Don't get into trouble. At least, not with him."

      Too late, she thought to herself.

♔ ♔ ♔

A/N;

okay, yes, I know I posted this book like almost a month ago, but in my defense, college is tough work and also I'm really lazy. But here you guys go, a culmination of my writing over the time that I finally finished! I don't know how I feel about the ending, but it's good enough I guess.

this chapter is dedicated to my angel baby ( happy belated birthday my love! ) and the best oliver wood writer to ever exist, taryn! thank you so much for everything!

Much Love Guys.

( written: december 3, 2019 )
( published: december 3, 2019 )