*Tannus*
That memory I was supposed to remember still nagged at me but it seemed like there was some sort of wall between Delilah and me that just never seemed to be crossed. There were times when I could feel that Delilah liked me too but then it was like she distanced herself and I noticed that I did the same thing periodically myself.
I was almost at the end of this nightmare, though a miracle as it was, and then I could go back to doing my job, working out, eating right... maybe even trying my hand at Delilah's affection. Though sometimes I didn't have to guess. There was one night where I was feeling kind of exhausted and my back was hurting really bad, so Delilah offered her bed to me for a while. I laid on it and she actually laid down beside me and touched my stomach, making little swirls on my belly and murmuring to the baby. It was awkward but the affection was kind of sweet... though it should have been the other way around.
I didn't like when she did those things though, it made me self conscious. Like the one time she caught me when I was coming out of the bathroom. I didn't mind her looking or touching my stomach when it was time for a checkup but when it was regular times I felt really weird having her see me like that.
I remember when she caught me coming out of the bathroom, the towel wrapped around my lower half like it usually was when she looked at me in the hallway. We locked eyes and I turned my head from her, feeling ashamed and gross. I felt like a monster or something. I felt hideous.
"Why are you turning away from me?" she asked.
I looked back and jumped a little when I saw she had gotten closer to me than I expected. I moved out of her way and she looked at me with this strange expression. I had never seen it before... was it pity?
"Don't look at me like that." I snapped, turning away from her again.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm some poor soul who is trapped. Like I'm something detestable."
"I didn't realize I was looking at you like that. I'm sorry if I upset you."
I drummed my fingers on my stomach a little and looked around a little, hoping she would move.
"Tannus, why are you so shy all of sudden?"
"I don't like you looking at me."
"Why?" she said with a small chuckle.
"It's... it's kind of embarrassing..." I confessed quietly.
"For me to see you? I do your checkups all the time and you never act like it bothers you."
"Those are checkups. You're looking at the baby and focusing on what's inside, not me on the outside. When I'm here, all you can see is me... All you see is this." I said, looking down at my belly.
Delilah looked at my domed stomach and sighed, trailing her eyes back to me.
"Tannus, I'm not scrutinizing you nor am I staring at you. You're becoming really sensitive all of a sudden, you know?"
I shrugged and got away from her as fast as I could.
I hadn't been feeling too good for the last couple of weeks. I did the college courses online but other than that, I just felt all around tired and drained. I actually slept until almost 3:00 in the afternoon one time but I just thought it was part of the pregnancy. I noticed that I was kind of swollen all the time and a headache seemed to be hovering in the back of my eyes for days. I couldn't stand bright lights, almost like I was suffering from a horrible migraine that just wouldn't go away.
Johnsie came to check on me and put his hand on my shoulder. I moved my arm just a little to look at him and he smiled sadly.
"Hey, how you feeling?"
"Tired and in pain."
"You need to let us take you to the doctor, Tan."
"Never in the seven hells..." I grumbled, turning my face from him.
"If you die, Delilah will never forgive herself. Why can't you just it for her? Or for the baby at least?"
The baby... now that I thought about it...
"Johnsie, touch my stomach. Do you feel anything?" I asked.
Johnsie looked a little horrified but did as told and put his hands on my stomach. I left them there for a moment when a frown developed on his face.
"There's nothing. The baby isn't moving... is that a bad thing?"
"It's been like that for two days now... I don't think I'm okay, John."
Johnsie's eyes widened at me calling him his given name. He nodded fervently and left the room. He was gone for a while and then came back.
"I just called Delilah and she'll be here soon." He grabbed my coat from the closet and then helped me to sit up. "In the mean time, we're going to get you ready to go to the doctor."
"What? No! No, Johnsie, please don't do that!" I yelled, the pain of the migraine shoving into the back of my eyeball like a needle being jabbed in my eye as I wrenched back. "Anything but that!"
"Your baby might be in trouble, Tannus. Are you really going to do this?"
"Yes." I hissed.
This was one of the reasons I hated my level of nosecomephobia. I didn't care about anything or anyone as long I didn't have to go into the hospital. It was a sick phobia that made me seem terrible and even a bit heartless. I mean, I was willing to sacrifice the health of my baby for the peace of my fear.
"Tannus, I will not allow you to just sit here and cause more hurt to your baby. I will knock you out if I have to to get you there."
The thing about Johnsie was that he looked like a sweet looking strawberry blonde kid with happy hazel eyes but when things got serious, he knew how to look at you and make you believe he was in charge even when he wasn't sometimes. The look he was giving me now told me that he would not take any of my shenanigans as long as this baby was in danger. He really would sedate me if he had to.
But I could play hard ball too and he couldn't get me into that hospital unless I was totally unaware of the situation.
"I'm not going. You can't make me."
"Who says?" he said, crossing his arms.
"I do. You can't make me go there, John."
"And I say that I can. I will drag you kicking and screaming into that building if it means the lift of your child. A father doesn't abandon his child because of his own fears... You have to set them aside for the sake of your child."
I hated being lectured by someone who was younger than me but Johnsie did have point. I knew he did and I knew that I was being ridiculous but he didn't understand the fear that enveloped me when I saw that building; just the little H signs... In all honesty, I was afraid of how bad I would freak out and I would hurt the baby.
"Please don't make me go, Johnsie... I beg of you..." I asked on last time, a shooting pain coming from my right side of my stomach.
"For the sake of your child, I'm going to be cruel and go over your pleas..." he said softly, walking toward me.
I shook my head fervently, beginning to yell.

*DELILAH*
When Rose (the ditz wanted to come too) and I got to the house, I heard the sound of blood curtling screaming and crying from the house. I quickly found the key and opened the door. The cries got louder and Rose put her hands over her ears.
"What is that noise?"
"That sounds like the sound of fear."
At that moment, Johnsie opened a door and was dragging Tannus under the armpits as the man kicked and screamed as if he were a little boy. He was crying and pleading for Johnsie to stop whatever he was doing.
"Johnsie, what's going on?"
"We have to take him to the hospital. Something is terribly wrong but this bozo wont' go. Even to see the child's health is good."
I gave Tannus a look as he sobbed uncontrollably in his hands.
Rose looked absolutely lost and I kneaded the bridge of my nose.
"It looks like you can handle him better than I have been able to. I'll bring the car around."
"You're in on this too?!" Tannus yelled, huffing quickly and looking a little sick.
I didn't answer him as I turned around to go get the key for the car. We could always use the seatbelts to restrain him if needed so he wouldn't hurt the baby.
Rose ran behind me, trying to keep up.
"What the hell is going on? Why is Johnsie literally dragging Tannus out of the house?"
"He has a severe case of nosecomephobia, the fear of hospitals. He can't go into a clinic or anything that looks like a hospital without going into hysterics. Bad hysterics as you can see..."
We looked over at Johnsie pulling Tannus out the door but Tannus had gotten his fingers latched around the doorframe and was bound and determined not to leave. He would rather have his arms ripped off than go. He was screaming his head off as well and attracting attention.
"Johnsie!" He looked over at me and I motioned for him to knock Tannus out.
He nodded and closed his eyes, punching his boss in the face. Tannus' arms went limp and Johnsie almost fell backward from the release of pull.
"Rose, I need you to call Oliver for me and tell him that we are heading to the hospital. The baby is not doing well."
She nodded, grabbing her pink bejeweled cellphone from her purse and dialing the number.
Johnsie dragged Tannus to the car and I helped lift him in.
"He is going to kill us when he wakes up."
"We'll just have to tell the hospital the situation and he'll be sedated. It's the only way we will be able to do anything."
He nodded and got in.

*TANNUS*
Everything was foggy... I felt reaaaalllyyyy goooood...
"Hey, you awake now?" a soft but almost heavenly voice said from above.
I felt but didn't feel my head move to the side.
"Angels?" I slurred.
Man, everything felt like I was gliding through water.
A tinkling laugh echoed in the caverns of my twisty mind.
"No, silly. It's me, Delilah."
I think I smiled. "Angels, Delilah... What's the difference?"
I heard another more deep laugh and I frowned.
"God?"
Another more abrupt laugh let out and my blurry vision tried to comprehend everything that was going on. God wouldn't laugh at me, and not with that obnoxious guffaw. I squinted my eyes and forced myself to try and focus.
Delilah's face was first to clear up and then I think I saw Oliver. Then Johnsie, who was laughing like a hyena in a chair aways. Then Delilah's assistant... Lily or Violet or something floral...
"Welcome back, Tannus." Oliver said with a grin.
"You guys suck..." I mumbled.
They all laughed and I fet that someone was holding my hand. I moved it and saw Delilah remove hers.
"Where am I?"
"The hospital." she said.
I frowned. "I dun wanna be here..."
"We know." Oliver said sadly. "That's why you're drugged up, Tan. We have to keep you here until we find out what's wrong with your baby."
"M'baby?" I said, feeling concerned. "Is Aliya okay?"
"Aliya? Is that you want to name her?" Delilah said softly.
"Yeah... It's perty..."
I saw her look at Oliver and a look of worry went over him. I decided to ignore his face as a thrumming pain started to come up my right side. I moaned and moved my hand to where the pain was.
"You okay?"
"Hurts..."
Oliver left the room and Johnsie came over.
"Hey, sorry about dragging you like that. I just wanted to get you here quickly."
I motioned for him to come closer to me. Closer... I gave him a right hook as hard as my drugged body would allow me. Luckily it must have been hard enough to do a bit of damage.
"Ass..." was all I got out when a searing pain went through my eye from a migraine.
I hissed as Oliver came back with the doctor.
"Alright Mr. Bracken, I have some bad news for you." he said with a sigh.
"What..."
"Your baby is um... Uh... Dead."
Delilah gasped and I squinted my eyes in confusion.
"Huh?"
"The baby has been dead for a while. You didn't produce a fully developed placenta and so the baby has been deprived of a lot of nutrients and oxygen. When did the baby stop moving?"
"He said she stopped about a couple of days ago."
"But we heard her heart last month! W-wouldn't the doctor have seen something was wrong?!" I yelled, starting to feel tears in my eyes.
"Your wife-"
"Uh, we're not married." Delilah said with a nervous chuckle.
"Girlfriend then?"
"Mother of my child..." I hissed.
"I see, well she said that you have a severe case of nosecomephobia and so the obstetrician had to look at your sonogram through a webcam."
"Yeah?"
"In that case, he would never have been able to detect anything... It says here though that you have pills for your fear?"
"They say on the warning label that it's not recommended for pregnant women. I didn't want to hurt the baby..." I said, the tears starting to overfill and slide down my cheeks.
"I see..." the doctor said as he wrote on my chart. "Well, the only thing we can do now is remove the child. If we don't, you will suffer from toxic shock and we could lose you both. You have already suffered signs of toxemia and we need to operate quickly."
I nodded and he began to talk with the others.

*DELILAH*
Hearing that our daughter was already dead broke my heart. Seeing Tannus so distraught over her brought tears to my eyes. I had so hoped it would work and the experiment would be a success but... As usual, nothing ever works my way.
The doctor said that they would talk with the surgeon and anesthesiologist in regards to Tannus' phobia and then left the room. Johnsie and Rose decided to leave for a moment and I turned to Oliver. I rummaged through my purse and handed him a twenty.
"Get me something from the gift shop please. Something cute."
He nodded and left.
I turned to Tannus as he looked down at his lap, tears falling in small droplets.
"Tannus-"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Delilah. I failed as a parent! I couldn't keep her... I..."
I went over and wrapped my arms around him. He cried into my chest and I rubbed the back of his head gently.
"It wasn't your fault, Tannus. None of it was your fault."
"But I couldn't-"
"You're a man, Tannus. You were never meant to carry a child like a woman. It's a miracle that it even got this far into the pregnancy. The placenta helps the baby grow and obviously, it wasn't formed right. It is no fault of yours. It's all mine."
The clearing of someone's throat caught my attention and I looked at the door. Oliver held up a cute little zebra stuffed animal and walked over to me. He gave me the change and smiled sadly at his cousin.
"Tan, I got you something. You want to see it?"
"No..."
"I got it just for you..."
He sniffled and looked up. I held up the little zebra and a small smile touched his lips.
"It's a zebra." He said softly.
"Yeah... Isn't he cute?"
"Yeah... Delilah, there's something that I've wanted to say to you for a long time-"
"Mr. Bracken, we're ready to take you into surgery."
He looked up at me with horrified eyes as they came in to take him away. I put the zebra in his hand and he clutched it tightly.
"I'll be with you. I'll be here when you get back, alright? Just think of the zebra as me, okay?"
He nodded, clutching it for dear life. I followed him out and he stopped to tell Johnsie something and then was gone.