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INDIANA JONES
lxviii. AN AWFULLY BIG ADVENTURE

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PRESENT
UNDERWORLD

THE SOUND OF BELLS chiming and jingling rang throughout the ears of Indiana Jones as she pushed the door in order to enter Granny's Diner. Or, well, the Blind Witch's Diner. Of all the insane things occurring in Indiana's nonexistent and metaphoric life, adjusting to calling Granny's something other than Granny's was one of the most difficult to swallow. The idea of it refused to be absorbed by her brain.

Days had past since Indiana's last mental breakdown. So much time had past that she wasn't even sure if it had really happened or not. After all, Indiana was sure that even if she weren't sane, she surely would never allow Prince James of all people to comfort her. However, she also knew that her dreams would never create something as preposterous as that. Yet it happened. Aunt Lucy was dead, Liam Jones was dead, and James was, too. Indiana was doomed to eternity with that jackass.

"Hey, sugar," the Blind Witch greeted gleefully as Indiana had a seat at the bar. "Can I get you anything?"

"Yes!" Indiana exclaimed. "Something to do." The woman tilted her head to the side slightly, confused. "I've grown completely and utterly bored of this... purgatory. It's just a replica of a town that's in my past. Sure, to die was an awfully big adventure, but I wasn't planning on making a pitstop afterward. Now, I'm bored."

The Blind Witch was silent, as if thinking of something. While Indiana wasn't actually expecting for the Blind Witch to assist her with her boredom, she was still hopeful—which was a first.

"Ah, so you desire an adventure," summarized the Blind Witch, looking Indiana in the eye. It was a strange thought knowing that the Blind Witch could still see some things despite her current situation. Indiana was unsure if there was some kind of magic behind it or if she was like a dog and could smell out certain people. The thought of it made Indiana curious, but she chose not to ask.

Indiana could sense a presence beside her. "On the contrary, I believe the lady said she wanted something to do," James' voice said. The brunette turned her head to see him. "I believe I can be that something."

"5, 4, 3—" Indiana started to count, only to be interrupted.

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving," James responded. Then, he slipped out of his chair and stalked off to go bother someone else.

Indiana, then, looked back to the Blind Witch. "So do you know how I can satisfy my boredom?" Indiana wondered.

"You know, most people around here are too busy being afraid of everything to be bored," the Witch pointed out. Indiana merely shrugged.

"I don't know most people, nor am I most people," Indiana nonchalantly declared. She propped her elbows up onto the countertop.

"It appears so," the Blind Witch agreed before humming to herself, placing a finger on her chin as she continued to think. Then, a metaphorical light bulb went off in her head. "Ooh! I know. Come with me."

Indiana raised an eyebrow, observing as she sauntered into the kitchen. She hesitantly went behind the counter, following just on the Blind Witch's tail. When she arrived in the kitchen, the Witch holding a strange object in her hand greeted Indiana.

In her hands was a stone tablet that seemed to have been broken in half. There was some kind of writing engraved into it, but it was in a language that Indiana didn't recognize. Perhaps that was because the only languages Indiana was familiar with was English and Elvish—three if you counted the 2 years of Spanish Indiana took years ago.

"Whoa..." trailed off Indiana, staring at it while walking forward. "How did you find it?"

The Witch shrugged. "It just appeared here this morning—"

"No, I mean how did you find it?" Indiana interrupted, repeating her previous question. "Aren't you blind?"

The Witch rolled her eyes. "Well, obviously," she nonchalantly stated. "As I was saying, it just kind of showed up out of nowhere. Not really sure what that's all about, but if you want something to do, then figure out what this is."

As she handed it over it Indiana, the brunette deadpanned, "You want me to discover the ancient history about a rock?"

"A rock with squiggly lines engraved into it," she corrected. Then, she shrugged again. "You said you wanted something to do. This is all I've got. Now, get out of my kitchen before I turn you into a batch of cookies."

➖➖➖

Piles and piles of books surrounded Indiana. She had never seen so many books before in her life excluding the time she was living a false life in which Indiana Jones was Anna James: child genius and 16-year-old college student.

In this scenario, Indiana's "Anna James side" was coming out at the sight of all the books. She hadn't done much research since the curse was broken, not that she really had time or patience to do so. To summarize all of this, her nerdy side was coming out and Indiana wasn't sure if she could stop it.

Indiana thought she could get through the research with ease, hoping that this mysterious rock had a purpose. However, that all changed when Prince James strolled into the library.

"Well, what do we have here?" James wondered, walking over to the brunette as she flicked through the pages of a worn out book. "Doing some research, are we?"

As he reached out to pull out the chair, Indiana shot him a glare. "No. Absolutely not," Indiana snapped. "I was actually getting work done. I don't need you to ruin that. Now, go get your porno magazines or whatever it is you're here for and leave me alone."

"Ouch," James sarcastically mumbled while sitting in the chair, despite what she had said to him. "So what are we looking for?"

"I was doing some research on a stone," Indiana responded unwillingly. She gestured to the broken stone tablet sitting across from her on the table. "I'm trying to figure out what it says. There. Now, you can leave me alone. Goodb—"

"Ianua," James suddenly stated while staring at the tablet, interrupting Indiana's sentence.

The girl raised her eyebrows. "Come again?" she queried.

"This is basic Latin," he mentioned. "Now, I could tell you what it means on one condition. You let me in on whatever you're planning on doing."

"All I'm doing is hoping for an adventure," Indiana snapped. Then, she paused. If James actually knew something that could help her, was it really a terrible idea to let him in? After all, he was related to Charming. How bad could he be? Indiana sighed. "Fine. Now, tell me what... uh... Iguana means."

"Ianua," he corrected. "It's Latin for The Door."

Furrowing her eyebrows together, Indiana paused, allowing this information to sink in her head. Where had she heard those words? That was when it suddenly clicked. "Oh!" Indiana exclaimed, grabbing a book with a red cover on it and flicking through the pages. "The Door... The Door... Ah! Here it is."

"I'm pretty sure that's a book...."

"..."

"Ow! What was that for!?" James exclaimed.

"I'm pretty sure that was my fist hitting your head," Indiana retorted before going back to the book. As James frowned and pouted like a child, Indiana continued to skim through the words.

"I'm pretty sure blah blah blah," he mumbled while leaning back in his chair.

"Now, it says here that the Door is the entrance to a temple that is the home of lost treasure," Indiana started, shooting the Prince a look. "The treasure is rumored to be the Holy Grail, an ancient artifact said to have supernatural powers, specifically the ability to grant immortality and to revive souls."

"Oh, I've heard of that," James mentioned. "There was a man who brought the two stones together to make one and opened The Door. He succeeded in finding the Grail, but such a prize came with a catch: the Grail was required to stay within the Temple. Any attempts to take the Grail off the temple's boundaries would result in the destruction of the Temple. When he tried to take the Grail home to his family, the Grail deemed him unworthy and self-destructed. Then man died and the Grail did, as well."

"Wait a second," Indiana said. "A magical entity... died? How is that even possible?" Before he could answer, Indiana continued. "Oh, well I suppose it's quite simple. Its purpose must've been unfulfilled, so it was sent down here."

James nodded. "Exactly. Someone's getting the hang of things around here," James teased, causing the girl to roll her eyes. "Though the stories were just rumors. We don't even know if it really was the Holy Grail or something else."

Indiana was quiet, staring down at the half of the stone on the table. "I guess there's only one way to find out," she declared. She looked back at James. "What do you say we find this Iguana."

"Ianua, darling."

"Whatever!" Indiana exclaimed. "Also, call me that again and I'll make sure my boyfriend somehow defies all the odds just to come down here and kick your ass."

James rolled his eyes. "Two problems: we're in the Underworld and it's impossible to come here without being dead," he pointed out.

"Yeah? Well, maybe you've never heard of him," Indiana mentioned. "If you find me scary, then you'll love him."

He furrowed her eyebrows together. "What is he--the devil?" wondered the Prince.

Indiana then smirked. "Worse."