Epilogue

Zita Elara Almano

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Saturn asked me while holding my hand.

"Yes, long years are enough to hold this anger that I have towards her. I'm done being mad, I just want her to explain why and answer all my questions."

I am very nervous of doing this but I wanted all my issues to be fixed. I should have settled it before but I am in much pain and bitterness. I'm so hurt of what my family had become and I blamed my mother for everything.

"I want to hear her, Saturn. And say sorry for blaming her for everything that happened."

Saturn smiled at me and then kissed me on my forehead.

"Alright miss, I'll wait for you here."

Andito kami sa harap ng bahay ng mommy ko. She was shock yesterday when I told her that I want to visit today.

"Can you come with me? I need you there," mahinang sabi ko.

I didn't know when and how I manage to put down all my walls for him. I just woke up one day that I can trust myself on him, I rely on him and I depend on him.

He smiled at me, I can't help but adore how beautiful he is. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako masasanay sa kanya, parang kahit anong tagal ay hahanga pa din ako sa kanya. His dark slightly curl hair that perfectly matches his dark narrow eyes, his brows thick that completes his bad boy look. A jaw that is perfectly defined, a thin pink lips, and his body well built. No wonder girls flock on him, he's got everything! Ang gwapo na magaling pang magpa-ibig!

"Smile baby, you can do this okay? I'm here," he whispered as we wait for my mom to come down from her room.

"Thank you," nakangiting sabi ko sa kanya.

"It's nice to see you here, my daughter."

Tumayo naman kami para bumati sa kanya.

"Good evening mom," I greeted her.

"Good evening Ma'am," Saturn offered a hand shake on her. She accepted it and smiled at me, as if asking who he is. 

"Please sit down," nakangiting sabi nito sa amin.

"I'm Saturn Agustin," he said politely.

"He's my boyfriend," nahihiyang sabi ko. This is the first time I introduced someone to my mom.

"Right! Nice to meet you ijo," mas lumaki ang ngiti niya sa amin.

"It's my pleasure to meet you ma'am," nakangiting sagot sa kanya ni Saturn.

"Oh call me tita or mommy. I wouldn't mind," excited na sabi nito.

My face turned red because of my mother's reaction. It's the first time I saw her happy for me.

They talk a bit more and I stayed there busy looking at them. I didn't know this would feel this way, it felt right that my mother is happy for me. And I can even feel her support to us though it's a bit embarrassing when she asked Saturn about marrying me.

I came here to talk to her not to talk about my marriage. Oh my god!

"Anyways I'm so glad you decided to visit me, Ija."

"Thanks for letting me. I should have done this long ago," I said silently. I can feel Saturn's hand caressing my waist, making me feel calm and relax.

"Don't feel bad ija. I understand you, I've never been a good mother to you."

The truth is, I just didn't let her to be. I didn't gave her a chance to explain herself, I was too selfish and mad.

"N-no, I never been a daughter to you. I never wanted to hear you, to understand you. I'm too blinded by my selfishness mommy," my tears started to fall. While my mother was holding back her tears.

"I understand you my daughter. We were both not ready for anything that happened. But I am at fault too, it was not yours only. Your mother is too weak to face the life I have with your father. I was forced to marry him and your father knows I tried so much to love him but I just couldn't. I couldn't love him the way I love the man I always wanted to be with. Your father was the best for me but I wasn't the best for him and neither to you."

My heart ached for my father but I can now set aside the bitterness and anger. It hurts hearing that she couldn't love my father but I can now understand that loving someone shouldn't be demanded. It should be genuinely felt. 

"I stayed with your father for a long time because that's what a good woman would do. To stay beside her loving husband and give her daughter a complete family. I tried again, thanks to your father. He never made me feel wrong for not being able to give back the same intensity of love he gave me."

"D-daddy believes in you. He loves you so much mom. He never wanted to ask for your love because he knows it shouldn't be demanded."

"I love him as the father of my daughter. And God knows how thankful I am that he is your father. It's just that I couldn't take it anymore, I don't want to torture him anymore. I want him to be free of one sided love. I want him to be loved by someone who's more deserving of him. I wish someone could love him the way he loves."

"Thank you. I-I'm sorry for hurting you mom," I said, my tears continues to fall.

"And I'm sorry for turning my back on you anak. Please know that I've always been proud of how brave you become. I admire the person you've become and I wish I could be as strong as you. Your father guided you well. He loved you well."

I couldn't help but hug my mother for the first time after years of being mad at her. If only I knew it would feel this good to let go of the anger. But I guess this is how the world goes, we have to fail and be hurt to surpass all the challenges life would give. 

"Oh! I'm sorry for being so emotional. Nakakahiya sayo ijo, baka isipin mong madrama ang mother in law mo!" biro niya kay Saturn matapos ang yakap namin.

Bumalik naman ako sa tabi ni Saturn at agad niya akong niyakap at pinatakan ng halik sa aking noo.

"I'm proud of you baby," he whispered. Napangiti ako doon  at yumakap din sa kanya. I suddenly feel light. I feel like I have let go of the fear and the burden I brought for years.

"Awh, you two are so sweet! When is the marriage? I want a grandchildren!"

"Mom!" nahihiyang saway ko sa kanya.

"What, Zee? You're 26 now, when are you planning to give me a grandchild? When you are 30 and I am a senior citizen?"

Napairap naman ako ng bago pa makapag salita ay narinig ko na ang mahinang tawa ni Saturn sa gilid ko.

"I wanted to propose to her now but I don't want to rush her Tita. I want to wait until she's ready to be my wife and the mother of my child."

My face turned red with his statement while my mother's reaction was as if she's a teenager feeling in love.

"Ikaw na pala ang inaantay, Zee. You two should marry as soon as possible!" dagdag ulit niya.

Nag tuloy tuloy naman ang pag uusap nilang dalawa.  They were laughing together while I feel so warm, I suddenly remember my father's words to me.

"Your mother is not ready for us that's why she did what she did. But for sure, she never wanted to hurt us. Your mother is a great person Zita. She just don't know how to show it."

It was the exact words my daddy told me. Back then, I don't understand why she have to do that if she couldn't take responsibilities but I guess, I won't really understand a thing when I am not ready to listen. I have to be ready to accept everything that I would know because that is what listening should be. It requires our understanding.

"Do you mind joining me for dinner?" my mother asked after their fun conversation.

"If your daughter wants to stay Tita," Saturn said politely and planted a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"I don't mind," I smiled at them a bit.

"Great!"

I couldn't hide my emotion when I was left alone with Saturn. I turned to him and hug him tight. I don't think I could ever do this without him. Even though he always told me that I was the one giving him new hopes, for me, he is my new hope. My fresh start and my beginning. 

"Baby you should stop looking at me like that," he whispered and hugged me even more.

"I just said I'll wait until you're ready. Don't give that look please or I'd marry you right away," he added. I chuckled and pinched him.

"I'm always ready for you, stupid!"

He then looked at me with a shock on his face. He's so handsome, I can't help but fall in love even more each time I see his eyes glimmer for me. He loves me so much that he could make me feel like I have the whole universe now that I have him.

He murmured some curse and then got something on my pocket and before I could even process it, he bent his left knee and handed me a ring.

It is a vintage sapphire marquise cut ring. I couldn't hide my shock, my tears of joy started to roll down my face as he asked me.

"I know I should make this more special but I just couldn't waste this opportunity. Baby, will you marry me?"

"Will you be my wife, Miss?"

My heart feels like exploding. I couldn't contain the happiness that I have for me, for us.

"Of course! Yes!"

His eyes then teared up, his hand a bit  shaking as he put the ring on my finger.

"Congratulations to you both!"

Napabaling naman kami kay mommy na mukhang kanina pa nanonood sa amin. My face heated again, she hugged us both.

"I'm so happy for you two."

"Thanks Tita," Saturn said politely.

"You call me mom now. Welcome to the family!" she exclaimed.

After that she guided us to her dining room. Saturn pulled a chair for me and my mom before he sat beside me.

"I love you, my Zita Elara. My Mrs. Agustin," he whispered.

"I love you back, baby."

We the ate dinner with my mother and stayed for a little more before deciding to go home. Saturn bring me on my house, Femi was waiting for me then and notice the ring on my finger right away. Saturn stayed with us for a little more before he go home.

I guided Femi to her room after that and tuck her to bed. She's 8 months pregnant now and her baby is healthy. I'm so excited for her and she was too. After that I go to my own room and look at my engagement ring.

It's so beautiful. I can't believe he had this on his pocket. He never really failed to amaze me.

Thank  you for giving me strength, Thunder. And thank you for making me live longer Daddy. You both give me chances I'll cherish until the end. I love you both, be happy there. I'm okay now. 

-

"Baby calm down please, she'll be fine."

I turned to face Saturn and smiled nervously, "I'm sorry I was just too nervous for her."

"They'll be fine okay? You'll get to see Femi's daughter," he said that after kissing me on my forehead. Kumalma naman ako at nag antay na lang ng tahimik sa labas ng delivery room ni Femi.

It already been a month since we got engaged and today Femi is giving birth with her little angel. We patiently wait for 4 hours before we could enter the delivery room and see both Femi and her baby.

Saturn hugged me from behind when we entered the room. I didn't know why I feel so emotional that when I saw my friend holding her daughter, my eyes started to tear up. They were both beautiful and I feel so warm just by looking at them.

"You'd be more beautiful with our angel soon, baby."

I smiled at that thought.

"You think so?"

"Yes baby for sure," he whispered and hugged me more.

"I love you daddy," I said.

He chuckled and kissed my cheek, "I love you too mommy."

I smiled after hearing him say that. I am two weeks pregnant and our wedding would be next month.

"Aren't you too coming to see my baby?" Femi then asked us. Tumawa naman kami tsaka lumapit sa kanila.

"Hi little bunny," I said as I softly touch the hand of her daughter.

"Congratulations, Femi."

"Thanks, Saturn!"

"Look how beautiful you are," I said and kissed the baby.

I feel so excited and nervous at the same time. 

Until now I feel like dreaming in reality. And each day, Saturn feels like a fairytale to me. He's so perfect I barely remember how mess I am before he came. He came to me as chaos, I didn't imagine him to be my strong hold. I hated him first but his love gave me new chance. He taught me loving is to hope and to have courage, it is to forgive and learn.

Saturn then carry the baby. I look at him and I couldn't help but to picture him with our future baby.

"I love you," I mouthed as he turned to me and show the baby.

"I love you indefinitely baby," he said and kissed me softly.

My love for him is indefinite too.