Chapter 26

WARNING!

Date Night

I was having a conversation with Faye about what happened earlier on video call when I received a call from my mother.

"So what's with the look?" Faye asked when she saw me rolled my eyes.

"My mother is calling," I said plainly.

"Zee, I think it's time. Talk to her," she sounds like she was convincing me.

"We have nothing to talk about, Faye."

"What if she needs you?"

I looked at my best friend fiercely.

"We both know she never needs me."

"You never know, Zee. Besides it's been years. She's your mother," she added.

"I don't know," I said and ended the call.

I sighed and buried my face to my pillow and cried myself out. I haven't feel this much pain for the past years. Lahat ng sakit ay naitago ko, naisasantabi. Para akong namanhid ng ilang taon dahil nakayanan kong hindi pagtuunan ang lahat ng ito pero ngayon, gusto kong mawala lahat. Gusto kong alisin o bawasan man lang iyong sakit pero hindi ko magawa.

Hindi ko na maalala kung paano ko nagawang itago lahat ng sakit, galit, at pagsisisi ko dahil ramdam na ramdam ko ang lahat ngayon.

Nakatulugan ko ang pag iyak at nagising na lang ng maramdaman ang pag vibrate ng cellphone ko para sa tawag. It was my mother again, I stared at it for a while before answering her call.

"God! Finally you picked up, Zita."

"What?"

"Ija, don't be rude. We haven't talked since you left that day."

"Because there's nothing to talk about."

"Hanggang ngayon ba naman Zita, mag mamatigas ka? I have let you explore and rebel as much as you want because I know you're getting through a lot but this is too much! Stop your escapades. Your dad's company needs you!"

I laughed sarcastically at her. She won't really talk to me without shouting at me.

"Is that your problem? Didn't you know they have Kleya there?"

"I can't believe you didn't earn any maturity after everything that happened. You should be the one taking over that company, that's yours Zita! Why do you have to be this hard headed? You're always irresponsible! Always a disappointment!"

"I guess we can call it a quits. You're always a disappointment to me too."

After that, I ended the call. My tears won't fall anymore, this is what I always felt towards my mother. Emptiness, anger. She never made me feel love, she never cared for me more than her image and her elite collegues. She never asked how I feel. She's always busy with her dance school.

Ikinalma ko ang sarili bago nag pasya na bumaba. It was 8:00 in the evening and I decided to have late dinner. Ipagluluto ko din ang mga kasama dito sa bahay.

I'm not good at cooking but I learned a lot for the past years. We ate at around 10 and have small fun conversation with them.

Most of the time, I felt more important and existing to the people I don't really know. I wonder how they could treat me this genuinely without knowing who I am. Without questioning anything from me.

-

I woke up the next day to receive a gift from Saturn. Tony gave it to me. I asked him if Saturn knew I was here but he said he thinks he doesn't that made me calm.

"Hindi mo ba bubuksan ang regalo mo, ma'am Zee?" nakangiting tanong ni Gilda.

"Mamaya na lang siguro."

"Kanino galing ma'am?" usisa din ni Shein.

"Sa kakilala ko. Sumabay na kayo sa'kin mag brunch."

"May nakalagay na note ma'am, Handsome ang nakalagay," kinikilig na sabi naman ni Sharon.

"Naku! Kayong tatlo talaga napakachismosa. Tigilan n'yo ang kakausisa at kakukulit," suway ni manang Rosalinda.

"Ayos lang po," tumatawang sabi ko.

Agad naman na tumigil ang tatlo, nakangiti pa rin at tila kinikilig sa regalong natanggap ko. Kumain lang kami at pag katapos ay umakyat na ako para tawagan si Faye.

"Hey, Zee! You okay?" bungad n'ya.

I sighed heavily and show her the gift I received from Saturn.

"Is that from Saturn?" she asked.

"Yeah, ipinaabot n'ya kay Tony."

"Oh, I thought he knew where you are."

"Yesterday, he asked me to meet him later."

She didn't say anything and let me continue.

"I want to go, Faye."

"Zee, you know we're not sure about him. Right?"

"This would be the last, Faye."

"Fine but bring Tony with you."

"Yeah, I will. Don't worry."

"You're making me worry more."

"Whatever, Faye. Call you again later."

"Alright, be safe."

Itinabi ko ang regalo tsaka nahiga sa kama. Nakatulugan ko ang pag iisip, nagising na lang ng alas kwarto na ng hapon. I took a long bathe and prepare myself. Pinangako ko na sa sarili ko na huling beses na ito, wala naman sigurong masama kung maniniwala muna ako na totoo ang nararamdaman namin bago ko ulit ipapaalala sa sarili mo na hindi pwede.

Isang beses lang tapos titigil na ako.

I don't know if Tony talked to Saturn but he seems to know where to bring me. I saw Saturn waiting for me beside the photo booth.

"Call me when you need me, Zita."

"I will, thanks Tony."

Saturn walked towards me, He was smiling at me so I smiled back. Just this once, again. After this, I'll step back.

"Good evening, Miss."

"Good evening."

"I'm glad you came," he whispered.

"Thanks for waiting," I answered.

He guided me on the photo booth and like what we did the last time we came here, we took a lot of pictures together.

He's back on his old self or at least the version that I knew first. He was laughing and I can't hold myself back. I laughed with him too, I keep on staring at him as if memorizing his features, memorizing his voice, his laughs.

We ate on the restaurant where we celebrate Drift's birthday and after that we walked around the village like we used to before. We were both quite when I decided to hold his hand. I should stop holding back just tonight. After this, I'll stop.

Bumaling s'ya sa akin, gulat sa pag hawak ko sa kamay n'ya.

"Don't look at me like that," I said that made him chuckle as he held my hand too.

"I thought I lost you already," he said out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry for everything," he added.

"Don't be sorry. I understand you," I answered silently.

He took off his jacket and put it on me. Tumayo siya sa harap ko at marahang hinaplos ang aking mukha.

"I was blinded by my anger and pain. I thought getting back at you would make me feel better but I'm wrong."

Ngumiti ako at hinaplos din ang kanyang mukha. If only I could turn back time when I haven't lose anyone and change everything to avoid that to happen.

"Shh, don't think about that. Yes it hurt me but I understand. I forgive you, can we enjoy this night?" I said holding back my tears.

That's the only thing I want right now. To enjoy this moment. Memorize and cherish everything tonight.

He nodded and held my hand again. Sumakay kami sa kalesa hanggang sa mapuntahan ang lugar kung saan kami unang sumayaw. Everything feels real, his eyes shines beautiful. His laugh sounds cheerful. Hindi ko pinalampas ang isang segundo na hindi ko s'ya matititigan. We danced again and we bought some snacks while we sing along with the local bands around the street.

Nag lakad lakad lang ulit noong magsawa na sa panonood at pakikisalamuha sa ibang tao.

He was still laughing at the trick of the magician he caught.

"Stop it! Ikaw lang naman ang nakakita," tumatawang sabi ko.

"He could have done it faster," tumatawang sabi n'ya din.

"Ang yabang mo! Marunong ka bang mag magic?" hamon ko sa kanya.

"Oo naman. Gusto mong makita?" tumatawang sabi n'ya.

"Sige nga," tumatawa na din na sagot ko.

"Come here, I'll show you real magic."

Nakangiti siya ng hilain ako palapit sa kanya at sabihin iyon. Taas kilay naman akong nakatitig lang sa kanya at inaantay ang magic na sinasabi nya.

"Close your eyes and count to three," he whispered.

"Are you kidding?"

"Come on, miss. Do it," he said.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes at him before closing it and counting.

"1, 2,-"

I felt his lips on mine. I opened my eyes and saw him standing straight in front of me and then winked.

"Got you," he said and chuckled.

Pabiro ko naman s'ya hinampas kaya lalo s'yang natawa.

We were laughing at his stupid magic when the rain started to fall. He held my hand as we run through the rain, laughing.

I never felt this much happy and scared. It feels like I have everything in the world now that I am here with him, laughing enjoying ourselevs but I also feel scared of the truth.

He was still laughing when we reached his house. Iyong bahay na pinagdalhan n'ya sa akin noong nag away kami dahil sa pakikipag sayaw sa iba.

Tumatawa s'ya habang ako ay nananatiling nakatitig sa kanya. I am happy to see him this happy, it felt light. My heart never felt this happy for someone else.

He stopped and stared back at me for a while. I couldn't help but look at his lips. I look at his eyes again and felt his lips against mine.

I kissed him back. It was full of longing. His kisses were never this soft, it has never felt this right.

Parehas kaming basa dahil sa pag takbo sa ulanan but I feel the heat inside me. I felt him carry me as he kiss me on my jaw down to my neck.

"Saturn"

I didn't know when I felt this way but I feel like I've lost my sanity. He put me on his bed as I felt his kisses on my collarbone while his hand is busy with my boobs.

I couldn't get a hold of myself. It was as if I was drunk even though we haven't drink any.

"Saturn," I couldn't stop myself from calling his name.

"I love you, baby."

He said and then kissed me again and suddenly stopped. He buried his face in between my neck and shoulders.

"Why did you stop?" I asked silently.

"I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't do this."

"Why?"

"Do you want this?" he said looking at me.

"Y-yes," I answered.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Baby-"

I kissed him so he'd stop. I don't know where I get the courage and the strength to do this but all I know is that, I want this right now.

"I love you, Saturn."

He stared at me for a second before smiling at me.

"Shit," he whispered and kissed my forehead.

"I love you so bad," he whispered and kissed me again.

I wish I could stop the time and stay at this moment with him.