Chapter 15

Saturn

I couldn't remember going back to my room but I woke up in my bed. It's already 10 in the morning so I get up so fast but my head hurt. Late na ako sa shift kaya hindi ko na pinansin at agad na din dumiretso sa closet para sa uniform ko. Papasok na ako sa banyo ng pumasok si Faye sa kwarto.

"Where the hell are you going, Zita Elara?" she asked.

"Why didn't you wake me up, I'm late!" sigaw ko sa kanya.

Agad naman niya akong hinila pabalik sa kama at binalik sa closet ang uniform ko.

"Hindi mo ba ramdam girl? Nilalagnat ka. Ano bang nangyari sayo ha? Lumabas ka kagabi? Hindi ko pa malalaman kung hindi pumunta dito ang isa mong katrabaho para sabihin na bibigyan ka ng leave para makapag pahinga," paliwanag niya sa akin.

Kinapa ko naman ang sarili ko at duon ko lang naintindihan kung bakit masakit ang ulo ko kanina. Pero hindi naman ako lumabas, nabasa lang ako dahil kay Saturn kagabi.

"Sinong katrabaho?" tanong ko kay Faye.

"Hindi ko na natanong. Pero ibinigay niya sa akin yung kailangan mong sagutan para sa leave. Mabuti na din yun para makasama ka pa namin. Tatlong araw na lang at aalis nanaman kami."

"Sino ang nag dala sa akin dito kagabi?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Anong kagabi? Kanina ka lang nailipat dyan. Bumisita si Saturn kanina, may dala pa ngang soup."

Kunot noo akong napatingin kay Faye. Tinitingnan ko pa kung pinag titripan niya ba ako.

"Nag kita kayo kagabi? Kaya niya siguro alam na lalagnatin ka. Bakit ka pa nakipag kita doon?"

I sighed heavily and shook my head. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin.

"Hindi ka din daw nag palit ng damit kaya ako na ang nag asikaso sayo, nakatulog ka ng basa kaya ka nilagnat. Ano ba ang pinag usapan nyo?"

"Hindi ko alam," mahinang sagot ko.

"Zita," mariing tawag niya sa akin.

"He's in the restaurant last night. I saw him when I was singing for Drift,"  mahina parin ang boses ko ng sabihin iyon. Siguro tama na din itong sabihin ko sa kanya na naalala ko si Thunder kay Saturn, baka sakaling tama nga ako na may pagkakaparehas talaga sila.

"Are you serious? Where?"

"Nasa likod nyo siya. I didn't go outside, he came here."

The look on her face shows how confuse she is. I am confused too, I didn't know how to tell her but I'll try.

"He came here. He's mad, asking me how can I enjoy the night. We didn't really talk, hindi ko din alam. Basta ang alam ko lang, when I looked at his eyes I remember Thunder. I realized, he has the same eyes like Thunder's. The difference is that, his was full of mystery, anger, trick and loneliness."

"What the hell, Zee?"

"Hindi ko din alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko magkaparehas sila ni Thunder."

"I knew it, that's why I kind of think that he resembles someone when I first saw him!"

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng sabihin iyon ni Faye. Ibig sabihin tama ako, may pagkakapareho talaga silang dalawa. Hindi lang dahil namimiss ko si Thunder kundi parehas talaga sila.

"Zee, you think we should search him?"

"I don't know, Faye. I feel like somethings not right. Remember when Jericho came here? I asked him about Saturn but he doesn't seem to tell me everything that he knows about him. I feel like, he's hiding something."

That's the truth, I am not really convinced about his intentions in telling me to stop dating Saturn.

He never tried meddling with my flings, so why suddenly told me that? May mga kakilala din naman siyang playboy na nakadate ko pero hindi nya ako pinagsabihan. Kaya bakit ngayong kay Saturn ay bigla niya akong pag sasabihan?

"Are you scared?" she asked.

"I don't know, I just feel like I didn't know him and it hurts me. I feel like, he's not the guy I used to spend my time the past month. I just met him and I learned to trust him despite the truth that he's a playboy. I even liked him," I said.

"Don't you want to know he really is?"

"I want to but I'm scared."

I sighed heavily again. I've been thinking about that lately but I don't have the courage to do it.

I set aside that thought and eat the breakfast, Faye bought for me.

"You want me to tell Drift about this?"

"No, let's figure things out first. I don't want them to misunderstood and besides we're not sure about anything," I said.

"Alright, tell me if you need anything okay? I'll be searching for some information about him and tell you right away if I've got some," she said assuring me.

"Thanks, Faye."

"No prob."

Lumabas siya para mag handa ng pagkain para sa tanghali. She decided to invite the guys here at lunch and wanted to roam around the streets later when I feel better.

I stayed on my room trying to search for his information until Faye came back for lunch. They were worried about me so I assured them that I'm fine.

The truth is, I am not.

Saturn is not the person I used to know. He's not a tourist nor a guest here. He owns this hotel.

I don't know what to feel, hindi ko inaasahan iyon. Kaya pala kahit kailan ay hindi ako nahuli na nakikipag date sa guest dahil siya ang may ari ng hotel na ito. Kaya pala kaya niyang mag labas pasok sa hotel rooms dahil sa kanya ang lahat ng ito.

But his identity is not easy to track. I even called my childhood friend, Ram. Magaling siya sa pag hahanap ng mga impormasyon kaya siya agad ang tinawagan ko matapos kong walang makuha sa internet.

After an hour he called me back and that's when I knew that Saturn is the real owner of this hotel. Hindi siya gaanong kilala dahil laging assitant niya ang umaattend sa mga event na kinabinilangan ng hotel.

I asked Ram to find more information about him and he agreed. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang puwede kong malaman pero hindi ko rin alam kung bakit gusto ko pang alamin kung ano man iyon.

"Zee, hey? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. What is it?"

"We were saying if you want us to just stay here later?" Drift asked me.

"You guys go, I'll stay here."

"Sasamahan ka na namin, Zee." sabi ni Darren.

"Hindi na, ayos naman na ako. Mag papahinga lang ako para bukas puwede tayong makapunta sa ibang lugar. Aasikasuhin ko nalang din muna ang leave ko," paliwanag ko sa kanila.

"Sasamahan nalang kita, Zee."

Umiling naman ako agad kay Faye, "Hindi na, tumuloy na kayo mamaya. Sulitin nyo na at aalis nanaman kayo sa isang araw."

"Wala kang kasama dito," sabi niya sa akin.

"Ako na ang bahala kay, Zee. Ako na lang ang pag papaiwan," si Drift naman ang nag sabi noon.

"Drift, I'm fine. Don't worry. I promise, I'll call you guys when I'm not feeling well," I assure them.

"But," I stopped Faye from talking.

"You guys enjoy and I promise to fix my paper for my leave and then tomorrow we'll go somewhere to enjoy. Maayos na ang pakiramdam ko, 'wag na kayong mag alala sa akin."

"Fine, but you make sure you'll update me okay? And text us when something happened or you don't feel well okay?"

"Okay promise."

That ended our conversation. After lunch they decided to go on with their plan. While I prepared myself and fill up the leave form.

Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa nag sisink in sa akin na si Saturn ang may ari ng hotel na ito.

2:30 pm when I decided to go to the human resource office to pass my leave form.

Habang nag aantay ng approval ay kabado akong nag dadasal na sana ay hindi ko mamaya makasalubong o makita si Saturn. Masyado pa akong nagugulat at naguguluhan sa mga nangyayari at nalaman ko.

Hindi ko din alam kung paano ko siya haharapin. Pakiramdam ko ay wala akong lakas para tingnan ang mga mata niya na katulad ng kay Thunder.

I suddenly felt that my peaceful life here was taken away from me. Parang yung pag titiyaga ko na lumayo sa Manila para mamuhay ng simple at tahimik dito ay nawala ng isang iglap ngayong naguguluhan ako kay Saturn.

Then I remembered how my mom told me I could never have a peaceful life because I'm such a mess and a piece of trouble. She said I am always the cause of chaos, to her and to our family. And I think she's right. Because I never really felt peaceful before I met Thunder and after he's gone. I'm always on chaos, I bring problems and conflicts. Most of the time, I cause misunderstanding. I always seek for thrill that might have a bad effect on the people around me.

They say I am uncontrollable and unpredictable, I don't know what to believe. I just know that, no one understands me in our family.

Now that I am away from them, I thought I'll be fine. I thought they will be fine and at peace because that troublemaker is not around. I wish they are really at peace because I never tried to check on them. I never tried to look how they are doing. I'm just consistently praying that they're doing very fine and they are now at peace with their own lives.

While I am here, living my own life. Trying my best to be a better person. And now, trying my best to figure who Saturn is.

I never thought I'd fall in love. I grew up not feeling any so, how am I supposed to know when I already love someone right?

Funny how I am here now, claiming to fall in love with someone I didn't even know who.