Chapter 14

Resemble

Drift hugged me so I hug him back. I am doing my best to avoid turning to the side where Saturn is. He was looking at me still, I can feel his deep eyes staring at me. I don't know if my friends noticed him but I wish they didn't. As much as possible I don't want them to be involved on anything that is connected to him, especially now that I feel like I need to know something about him.

We sat and continue our dessert in the table as they share stories. We ended the night with fun conversation, I realized that I am really away from them. Madami silang pinag daanan na wala ako kaya nakakatuwang makinig sa bawat kwento nila. Faye and I were both quite and just laughing at the guy's stories.

We were at the hotel's lounge area when Luke put out a gift for my best friend, Faye. She was shock while I was smiling from victory. I knew it, he likes her. I can see it through his eyes and his actions. 

"What the hell is this?" Faye asked very embarrassed.

"A gift?" Luke answered.

"I know stupid. I mean why the hell are you giving me this? I'm not the celebrant," she said with her voice a bit nervous. Napairap naman ako sa sinabi niya at halos gusto siyang batukan.

I know she likes him too. She's scared, she saw how Luke play with other girls. She knows how he plays that's why she's keeping herself from liking him. She never admitted that to me but sometimes we know people better than they know themselves. 

"Look I know I always mess up with you. I pisses you off and say things on you but you know, I've been trying to get your attention for years." 

I turned to the other guys and saw them smiling at their friend. I felt proud knowing them, they are all known to be a playboy before. Maybe that's really part of them, they were just lucky that it was only a phase for them. Seeing them now and looking back for those years they have been changing girls in an instant, I know they can be serious after all the thrill.

"Shut up, I'm not playing with you."

Umirap naman ako ng marinig yun sa best friend ko. I know for sure she's scared.

"I know this sounds funny but can you at least give me a chance? I promise to prove my intentions to you," Luke asked softly.

Faye turned to me, as if she's asking me what to do. I just smiled at her and winked. Whatever her decision will be, I will support her.

She sighed and then rolled her eyes at Luke, "Fine."

Agad naman nag tawanan at nag congrats ang boys kay Luke. Lumapit naman ako kay Faye at lalong ngumiti sa kanya.

"Thunder will be happy to see you dating him," I whispered.

"You think so?" she asked.

I nodded, "Of course, we know you like Luke too."

"Shut up, Zee."

I just laugh at her, agad siyang pinamulahan ng mukha kaya lalo lang akong natawa.

Bumalik kami sa kwarto namin, her smile never left her face.

"Faye, you know if you likes Luke you don't have to stop yourself. Don't be too tight on yourself, free your feelings for him."

"But what if he's playing around? Like he always does with other girls," she said worriedly.

"Hey, you aren't just the other girls. I can see it in him, he really likes you. And you know them, Faye. They know when their feelings is serious or they're just thrilled. From Drift to him, you know each of them get through that playboy phase. They value the person they love," I explained to her. 

Honestly, years ago Luke admitted to me that he likes Faye even before. They were classmate back in college but Faye didn't know that, while Luke has his eye all over her all the time. He didn't just like her, he loves her. 

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

"I just know," I assured her and pat her shoulder lightly.

I fixed myself and put on my night clothes. Pag labas ko ng banyo ay nakahiga na si Faye, inaantok na. Hindi narin naman sya nag salita kaya tahimik nalang akong bumaba para kumuha ng tubig.

It is already 11:00 in the evening and I'm not sleepy. I leaned on the counter top as I remember Saturn's eyes. Hindi ako sigurado kung dahil lang ba iyon sa sobrang  pagkamiss ko kay Thunder pero parehas na parehas ang kanilang mga mata.

"Are you haunting me, Thun?" I whispered.

 "How can you celebrate?" 

I couldn't move after hearing a voice from behind. It was Saturn's voice. 

"How did you get in here?" I asked after I turning to face him.

"I asked you, how can you celebrate?" he said that with a hint of anger in his voice. He even leaned on the counter that locked me.

"Why the hell do you care?" I said looking back at his eyes.

"How can you enjoy the night? After," he stopped and moved even closer to me.

I couldn't move, his body was almost touching mine. My knees trembled, hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling ang takot ko. Kung dahil ba sa galit na nararamdaman ko mula sa kanya o yung lungkot na nakikita ko sa mga mata niya.

"How can you moved on that easily?" his voice is full of anger now.

Hindi ko siya maintindihan, ano ba ang tinutukoy niya? Anong ibig niyang sabihin?

"Bakit? Pagkatapos ng lahat?" bulong niya.

Lumayo siya sa akin at tumalikod, ngayon ko lang napansin na basang basa siya. Tumingin ako sa veranda at nakitang umuulan sa labas.

Natulala na lang ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong gawin. Galit siya pero hindi ko alam kung ano ang dahilan. Sa pag kakatanda ko, ako ang dapat na magalit sa kanya. Pero hindi ko iyon mapagtuunan ng pansin. Kanina ko pa napapansin na may kakaiba sa kanya, hindi siya iyong Saturn na una kong nakilala at ang Saturn na nakasama ko.

Ang Saturn na nasa harap ko ay hindi gago pero galit. Hindi siya iyong nakangiti at nang aasar, nakatayo siya sa harap ko, galit pero malungkot.

"What really is your point, Saturn?" I asked when he remained silent.

Hindi siya nag salita pero tumingin siya sa akin. He bit his lower lip and clenched his jaw.

His eyes is deep, malungkot, galit at nasasaktan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagagalit, imposible namang dahil ito sa selos dahil may girlfriend naman siya. Sigurado akong hindi iyon dahil pakiramdam ko may kinalaman ito sa hindi masabi sa akin ni Jericho.

Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya pabalik ng makita ko ang pag patak ng luha niya. Gulat akong napasinghap ng hangin at napatakip sa aking bibig.

Unti unting mawala ang galit sa mata niya at napalitan ng mas malungkot at nasasaktan na ekspresyon. Nanginginig akong lumapit sa kanya at agad na pinunasan ang mukha niya.

Tila nasasaktan ako habang nakikita siyang ganito. Para akong naiiyak dahil sa nakita kong pag iyak niya. Niyakap ko siya at marahang hinaplos ang kanyang likod, hindi na mahalaga kung mabasa pa ako dahil sa kanya.

He didn't hug me back, umiyak lang siya sa akin. Ramdam ko ang pag galaw ng balikat niya dahil sa pag iyak. Wala akong maintindihan sa nangyayari sa kanya pero gusto kong malaman niya na andito ako para sa kanya.

I suddenly remembered Thunder. He was like this too, when he cries at my shoulder he never hugged me back. He never told me why he's crying but he trusts me so much he let me see him weak.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Nanatili kami sa ganoong ayos hanggang sa kumalma siya. Lumayo siya sa akin at tahimik na nag isip. Hindi ako umalis at pinag masdan lang din siya. Maya maya ay humarap siya sa akin at umiling.

"Kukuha ako ng robe," sabi ko sa kanya pero pinigilan niya ako bago pa man ako makaalis.

Kapit niya ang kamay ko at ginamit iyon para marahan akong hilahin at mailapit sa kanya.

Nakatitig siya sa akin, he resembles Thunder so much with his eyes and his actions tonight.

Nangilid ang mga luha ko na hindi ko na din nagawang pigilan. I missed my best friend so much. And seeing Saturn right now, with the same eyes and almost the same actions made me miss Thunder more.

Pinunasan ni Saturn ang mga luha ko. Lumapit siya sa akin at hinalikan ako sa noo.

"Change your clothes now, baka magkasakit ka."

Pag katapos noon ay umalis siya ng hindi na ako nililingon pa.

Nanghihina akong napaupo sa sahig at duon muling umiyak. Halo halo ang emosyon ko, hindi ko maintindihan kung dahil lang ito sa sobrang pagkamiss ko kay Thunder o sadyang may pagkakapareho sila na ngayon ko lang napag tuunan ng pansin.