Ravan: You know what we should do?

Ravan: We should provoke the vanars by killing Sita fakely.

Ravan: Because provoking bloodthirsty monkeys is a great idea!

Ravan: Pat on the back, Ravan!

Ravan: Great idea!

~

Angad: In my next life, I want to be a snake!

Neel: Long, green, and permanently grouchy?

Angad: Poisonous. Deadly. Defiant in the face of death. Sharp! The ultimate predator! Misunderstood, the anti-hero, the underdog! Unblinking eyes, sharp tongue! Angry gaze! People scatter at the sight of me.

Lakshman: Waaaaait, I want that!

~

Lakshman: When I tried being a snake, all I got to do was sit still and watch as humans got to kill demons!

Lakshman: Because someone was all...

Vishnu: No! No killing demons for you, Sesha! You get to sit here and talk with me!

Lakshman: AND ONCE I FINALLY BECAME A HUMAN, GUESS WHO FOLLOWED ME?

Ram: No! No killing demons  for you, Lakshman! You get to sit here and watch with me!

Lakshman: TORTUREEEE!

~

Meghnad: Wait, you're alive?! How?

Lakshman: Death is a social construct.

Lakshman: And, unlike you, the Gods love me.

~

Sita: Wait-

Sita: First, Ravan told me Ram was dead.

Sita: Then, he told Ram I was dead.

Sita: Then he told me Lakshman was dead.

Sita: It's my turn to almost die!

Sita: Put it on my calendar, Trijata!

~

Neel: Ayo, what's up, it's Neel, coming to you straight from the battlefield! Today, we are interviewing Lakshman! What do you have to say sir?

Lakshman: Send halp, please, I wanna kill demons.

Neel: That's right folks. Desperation from this side of the battlefield. What say you, Shri Ram?

Ram: I WILL NOT HAVE MY BROTHER DYING ON THE BATTLEFIELD!

Lakshman: I'M NOT GOING TO DIE ON THE BATTLEFIELD!

Ram: WHY? ARE YOU YAMA? HOW CAN YOU SAY?

Lakshman: HOW CAN YOU SAY I WILL DIE ON THE BATTLEFIELD?

Ram: BECAUSE IT FITS MOCHI'S CHARACTERIZATION OF YOU!

Lakshman: WHILE YOU GO TALKING ABOUT RANDOM AUTHORS, I COULD HAVE KILLED ONE THOUSAND DEMONS!

Ram and Lakshman: *cute fighting noises*

Neel: A lot of fighting happening on the battlefield. Going back to you, Nal.

Nal: Uh, thanks.

A/N- Ok, so I've got 3000 words written in the next chapter, but I haven't killed Meghnad off yet like I promised, and so this may take a while. You know how much I want to elongate this, but I can't because I can't break my promises 😭

There! I even used an emoji to show my sorrow!