Jake: want to see how strong and badass I am?
Shark: not really
Jake: *punches the wall*
Jake, crying,holding his now bleeding hand: take me to the hospital please

Shark: I've never banished any lobsters to the sea
Shark: they banished me to the land!
Cord: what the hell are you talking about!?

Grace: you think Shark and I are immature?
Cord: yes, exactly
Grace: hmmm Shark, what do you think?
Shark: well first of all, cord doesn't get to come into the blanket fort with that attitude.
Jake, from inside the fort: Agreed!
Cord: ...Traitor!

Cord: pick a card any card
Toast: fine
Cord:...
Cord: "any card" did not include my credit card, kindly give it back.

Store: so how many monitors did you want?
Jake: y e s

Cord: good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Toast: rude.
Shark: that's fair
Grace: not again.
Jake: are you going to want this back

Toast: you love me right cord?
Cord: normally, I would say yes, with no hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

Jake: ok truth or dare?
Shark: truth!
Jake: how many hours have you slept this week?
Shark:
Shark... dare:
Jake: go to bed
Shark: I don't like this game:(

Cord: I know you snuck out last night, Shark.
Lanie, to Shark: play dumb.
Shark: who's Shark?
Lanie: not that dumb

Jake: we've been conducting an ongoing study to see what cord will and will not eat.
Shark: grass? yes.
Jake: moss? Yes.
Shark: leaves? Ohhh yeas!
Jake: shoelaces? Strange but true!
Shark: worms? Sometimes.
Jake: rocks? Usually nah.
Shark: twigs? usually!
Jake: lanies cooking? Inconclusive.
Grace: how did you ... test this?
Jake: you just hand him stuff and say "eat this" and if he eats it he eats it
Grace: I don't know how to feel about this...
Lanie: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SOARE SHOELACES WENT?!

Cord: WHY? WHY DID YOU GIVE SHARK A KNIFE?
Lanie: I'm sorry. He said he felt unsafe.
Cord: now I feel unsafe!
Lanie: I'm sorry:(
Lanie: ... would you like a knife?

Jake: what is your biggest weakness?
Cord: I can be uncooperative.
Jake: okay, can you give an example?
Cord: no.

Grace: what do you call a fish with no eyes?
Shark, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Grace:
Grace: fsh

Store worker, on the intercom: would a Mr. Cord please come to the front desk?
Cord, arriving at the desk: hello, is there a problem?
Store worker, points to Jake and Shark: I believe they belong to you?
Jake & Shark: we got lost :(
Cord: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

Jake: how's the sexiest person here~?
Shark: I don't know? How are they~?
Jake, flustered: I-
Cord, from across the room: I'm doing great, Thanks!

Jake Shark isn't answering his phone.
Cord: I'll call.
Jake: grace and I both tried 6 times each, what makes you th-
Cords phone on speaker: hello?

Cord: dammit shark!
Shark: what?! It wasn't me!
Cord: sorry, force of habit. Dammit grace!
Grace: not me either.
Cord: oh?... then who set the house on fire?
Lanie: *whistles walking away swiftly*

Jake: why are your tongues purple?
Cord: we had slushees, I had a blue one.
Lanie: and I had a red one.
Jake: oh
Jake:
Jake: OH
Grace: you drank each other's slushees?

Cord: lanie and I are having a baby.
Shark: that's gre-
Cord, slamming adoption papers down: its you, sign here!

Grace: are you the big spoon or little spoon?
Shark: IM A KNIFE :)
Cord, from across the room: he's a little spoon.

Jake: *gets down on one knee*
Lanie: oh my god, it's finally happening!
Jake: *falls over*
Lanie: the poison is kicking in!

Lanie: you know? Not every problem should be solved with a sword.
Shark: that's why I carry two swords!

Jake: I think I'm having a midlife crisis.
Grace: you're like 15 years old ;-;
Jake: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

Shark, pointing: may I sit there?
Lanie: that's my lap
Shark: that doesn't answer my question, lanie.

Cord, addressing the squad: if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Grace: that's the trash can.
Cord: it sure is!

Cord: you're right.
Everyone else: that -that's an unusual phrase for you, did you just learn it?

Jake, texting Shark: SHARK HELP IM BEING KIDNAPPED!
Shark: where are you?
Jake: I'm with a strange person, in a car.
Shark: I'll call cord.
Cord, answering his phone: hello?
Shark: where's Jake? He texted me that he was being kidnapped?
Cord: Jake? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-
Cord:
Cord: I'll call you back *hangs up*
Cord: THE NEW HAIR CUT ISNT THAT BAD
Jake: WHO ARE YOU?!

Grace: in my Defence I was left unsupervised!
Jake: wasn't lanie with you though?
Lanie: in my Defence I was also left unsupervised...