Plz read title in a British accent
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Just This entire part must be read in a British accent
It will make it 10 times funnier

******************************************

Cord: *screams into void*
Jake: *screams louder to assert dominance*
Shark: should we stop them?
Toast: Nah I want to see who wins.

Shark: want to see a butterfly?
Cord: IF YOU THROW BUTTER IM GOING TO BEAT YOU
Shark: *yeets butter*

Cord: did you two eat all the powdered donuts?
Toast & Shark: *mouths full* nooooooooo
Cord: oh really? Then what's that white stuff all over your face and shirt?
Toast: *lying* cocaine
Shark: *nodding vigorously*

Cord: is something burning?
Shark & Toast: Just our love for you;)
Cord: I'm flattered but the microwave is on fire...
Shark: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT I SWEAR

Shark: I just inhaled an entire can of febreeze and I'm tripping balls right now.
Jake: OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?
Shark: better question how am I still alive?

Random person: *takes one look at Shark* so are you a sadist or a masochist?
Shark: I'm an Aries
Cord, Toast, Jake: he's a masochist.

Jake: and anyways, having a powerful graphics card and using it to its full capabilities is a great way generate excess heat to heat your home in the winter.

Cord: try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like.
Shark: *takes a sip* hazelnut?
Cord: idk, I found it in the garbage.
[later]
Jake: are you gonna finish that coffee?
Shark: no, cord found it in the - ... you can have it.
Jake: Thanks! *takes the coffee and sips it walking away*
Shark: *grinning to himself* that's right. Drink the garbage coffee. :)

Shark: what country has the most birds?
Shark: PORTU-GEESE
Cord: that's a language.
Shark: PORTU-GULL
Toast: nice recovery.
Shark: don't you mean nice re-dove-ry ;D
Cord: I swear to god I'm going to kill you
Shark: HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT TURKEY!!!!!!

Cord: SHARK DID YOU PUT GLITTER IN OUT FUCKING LAUNDRY DETERGENT!?
Shark: oh, yeah, I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas! That one's called Sparkle Suds!
Cord: CAN YOU AT LEAST STOP PUTTING GLITTER ON EVERYTHING!? THERE WAS GLITTER IN OUR BUTTER THIS MORNING TOO!
Shark: Disco Dairy, Spread the party!

Cord: you were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the porch.
Jake & Toast: we did! We named him Lord Moseby, he likes fruit loops :)
Cord: and what was Shark doing?
Jake: .... he was befriending the opossum that was also under there...
Cord: *face palming* of course he was, what else is new.
Shark: I named it Smiles :)

Shark: Fortunately, I have stupid sexy little bitch disease, so I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

Jake: *using auto tune*  my entire body is a gaming computer! I have transcended into oblivion!

Cord: Good morning everyone! God has decided to let me live another day, and I am about to make it everyone's problem. :)

Toast: *offended* I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you accuse me of things I clearly did.

Jake: anybody got any pepper?
Cord: I do, right here in my pocket!
*every one looks at Cord*
Cord: Oh, like none of you carry your own seasonings.

Shark: I'm a biswejual
Shark: bisehjul
Shark: bisexjuul
Cord: it's okay, take your time.
Shark: girls but also boys.

Toast: you call it "really bad at darts", I call it freestyle acupuncture :)

Cord: I need to take out some aggression! Little cunt at work pissed me off again! Who's gonna let me slit their throat?
Shark: uhhh sure.
Cord: :)