Jackie I stole your title

~~~~

Nugget: *cooking*
Acatin: *kicks down door*
Acatin: *grabs knife from Nugget's hand*
Acatin: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Nugget:
Nugget: What.
Jackie: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.

~~~~

Jackie: Tangled has no idea I’m high.
Tangled: You’re high?
Jackie: Oh, I’m sorry.
Jackie, leaning over to Acatin: Tangled has no idea I’m high.

~~~~

Acatin: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…
Jackie: What’s updog?
Acatin: Tangled! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

~~~~

Nugget: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Tangled...
Jackie: As you should be.
Nugget: No, for real, they're kind of-
Jackie: As. You. Should. Be.

~~~~

Jackie: I have a bad feeling about this...
Acatin: What do you mean?
Jackie: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Acatin: No?
Nugget: That actually explains so much.

~~~~

Acatin: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.
Nugget: Cool.
Acatin: Do you know who Joe is?
Nugget: JOE MAMA!
Jackie, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

~~~~

Acatin: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Jackie: I think you mean cards.
Tangled: They did not.
Acatin, pulling out knives: I did not.

~~~~

Tangled: I mean. Nugget's just standing there now.
Tangled: Waiting for me, I guess.
Tangled: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down.
Jackie: Settled down?
Tangled: Well, they only stabbed me once.

~~~~

Nugget: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?
Acatin: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
Nugget:
Nugget: *sobs*
Jackie: You fucking scared them, you idiot.

~~~~

Nugget: Hey Jackie.
Jackie: *punches Nugget in the stomach*
Nugget: What the fuck?
Jackie: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!
Nugget: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jackie: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.
Acatin: See ya! *leaves*
Nugget: I'm not pregnant!
Jackie: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.
Nugget: I was never pregnant, Jackie!
Jackie: Are... you sure?
Nugget: Yes I'm fucking sure!
Tangled: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?
Jackie: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—
Tangled: *punches Nugget in the stomach*
Nugget: AW, MOTHERFU--

~~~~

Acatin: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Tangled: Merry crisis.
Jackie: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Nugget: Hoe hoe hoe.
Acatin: Guys, please.

~~~~

Nugget: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Acatin: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Tangled: FLOOR IT!!
Nugget: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Acatin: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Nugget: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Jackie: DO IT!
Acatin: NO-

~~~~

Jackie: Your character obsession doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.
Nugget: Your character obsession thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.
Tangled: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
Acatin: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

~~~~

Tangled: Why did you kidnap Nugget!?!?!
Acatin: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh...
Jackie: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal.
Tangled: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!

~~~~