as usual, any commentary I have is underlined/italic, like this

Hawthorne: Jesus Saves.
Lucy: Passes to Moses, SCOOOOOORE!

Lovecraft: *Locks Lucy in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Lucy: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

Mark: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

Poe: Why would you give a knife to Lovecraft?!
Margaret, shrugging: Lovecraft felt unsafe.
Poe: Now I feel unsafe!
Margaret: I'm sorry...
Margaret: Would you like a knife?

Lovecraft: Who wants to make fifty bucks?
Poe: How?
Lovecraft: I need someone to take the fall.
Poe: What did you do?
Lovecraft: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.
Margaret, from the other room: Oh my god.
Lovecraft: ...
Margaret: OH MY GOD!
Poe: Make it a hundred.
Lovecraft: Deal.

Hawthorne, throwing their head into Margaret's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Margaret, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

them <3

Lovecraft : Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit.
Lovecraft : Fruits that do live up to their names?
Lovecraft : Orange.

Lucy: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.
Lovecraft : Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.
Steinbeck: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
Hawthorne: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

Hawthorne: Margaret! I thought you were dead!
Margaret: No, just in deep cover.
Hawthorne: ...But it was an open casket.
Margaret: It was very deep.

Steinbeck: *angrily presses Lovecraft against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Lovecraft : ...
Lovecraft : Are we about to kiss-

Them <3 (cont)

*Hawthorne is casually searching around the room*
Fitzgerald: Hey Hawthorne, what're you looking for?
Hawthorne: My will to live.
*Margaret walks into the room*
Hawthorne: Oh, there it is.

Why do I love these two so much? next question, please

Poe: Fine! Judge all you want but...
Poe, points at Alcott: Married a lesbian.
Poe, points at Mark: Left a man at the altar.
Poe, points at Fitzgerald: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.
Poe, points at Lucy: Threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire.
Poe, points at Lovecraft : Lives in a box!

Lovecraft : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Steinbeck: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Lovecraft : I said within reason, Steinbeck. How about I murder that guy?
Steinbeck: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Lovecraft : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Hawthorne: *shatters a window and climbs through it*
Hawthorne: *turns around and helps Lucy through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Lucy.
Lucy: Okay.

Mark: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed.
Mark: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it.
Mark: But who's to say.
Steinbeck: I think France isn't real.
Alcott: Steinbeck, you've been to France.
Steinbeck: And???

Poe: Blue M&Ms are the best.
Steinbeck: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?
Poe: What about it? They are.
Steinbeck: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!
Steinbeck: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!
Poe: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!
Lovecraft : They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.
Mark: I like the yellow ones.
Poe and Steinbeck: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

Poe, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because...
Poe, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

Kidnapper: We have your child
Fitzgerald: I don't have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?
Fitzgerald: Oh god, you have Lucy

Poe, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Lovecraft : You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container.
Mark: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.