Me: Roast me
Shubham: I would roast you but mom's asked me not to burn trash. (original)

Me: I feel an overwhelming urge to rest.
Shubham: Me 24/7
Me: Shucks, would you like a hug?
Shubham: Yes.
Shubham: You know, sometimes your vagina just needs a hug....
Shubham: With a penis
Me: That's not a hug, that's an embrace but get out. (original)

KK: One time I was dating this girl for a while, and then she got down on one knee and she begged me never to call her again. One girl broke up with me while we were solving a problem together. Skywriting isn't always positive. Another time a girl invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers, and then when I tried to sit down, she said, 'Don't eat anything. Y/ns coming.' And then she broke up with me.

Gus: How do I look?
Vy: Like me!
Gus: Oh shit.

Div: I have decided I want to be cremated. Not when I die, just whenever. Surprise me.

Vy: Tanishka, you're never going to get a husband by being sarcastic.
Me: Alright, no husband!

Fateen: Stay foxy!
Div: Die lonely.

Me: I was just trying to put myself into a coma so I wouldn't have to listen to you two dip-shits trying to talk and breathe at the same time.
Div & Fateen: 

*During the mission to rescue the captured*
Div: Fateen!
Fateen: Div?
Div: Can you walk?
Fateen: You're not real.
Div: Sure I'm real.
Fateen: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
Div: Then why would they make you see me.
Fateen: You're right. Let's go.

Me: Dress every day like you're going to get murdered in those clothes.