Alex gets a bit depressing but not super depressing. Still though, trigger warning. But yeah. He's not very happy.

Alexander Pov
We walked back inside, my head hung low and John holding my hand.

"What happened?" Martha asked.

"We saw his friend and she was a total bitch to him." John told her for me.

"...worse than Angie kind of bitch?" Martha asked.

"Hey!" Angie exclaimed, poking Martha's arm.

"Yeah. Worse than Angie." John said.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Alex." Angie said.

I laughed dryly.

"My children. What's shaking?" Washington asked walking into the living room.

I shot John a look and mouthed 'What's shaking' and he rolled his eyes.

"A girl was a total bitch to Alex." John explained again.

"Worse than Angie bitch?" Washington asked.

"That's what I asked!" Martha said happily.

"Yeah. Way worse. Made him cry." John said.

"She was my best friend." I said softly.

"Damn that sucks." Angie muttered going to her room.

"John." I said quietly.
"Can I talk to you a second?"

"Of course baby." He said, walking to his room with me trailing behind him.

He closed the door behind me. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I had a really scary thought." I told him.

"Oh god Alex...can I ask what it was?"

"I...really genuinely wanted to die. There was a really strong urge." I said my voice shaking.

He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug and whispered,
"You aren't alone."

It feels like I am.
I nodded despite the burning yells in the back of my mind.

"John I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm alive. I'm worthless, I can't do anything god I'm just a fucking waste of space. I don't deserve you. I'm just another nothing in this world. I don't like myself. I don't know why you do. You probably don't actually, man I don't know why-"

Then he kissed me.

I brought my hand up and draped it around the back of his neck. We pulled apart and he rested his forehead on mine.

"That was a really great way of telling me to stop talking." I said softly.

"You are not worthless. You are priceless. I'm so happy with you being alive, don't you ever apologize for that. You are not a burden, you're a blessing. And you can do things I could never even dream of doing Alexander. You are not nothing. And I...I love you." He said. I pulled us fully apart.

"Y-you love me?" I asked. He nodded. My face warmed up.

"I-I love you too." I choked out.

"I was hoping you'd say that." He muttered, pulling me in again.

He picked me up and I giggled.

"My god. You are so fucking cute I can't even." He said.

He sat down on his bed and my head was in his lap.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He said.

"I love you so much John." I told him.
"I love you too."

I curled up in a ball and he ran his hand through my hair and rubbed my back.

I forgot what it felt like to love someone so much.
I closed my eyes.
There are truly not enough words to describe how I feel for him.