I'm not givin' up
I'm not givin' up, givin' up
No, not me
Even when nobody else believes
I'm not goin' down that easily
So don't give up on me

-Don't give up on me, Andy Grammar

37| Mason

Mason could hear her voice. It felt as if she was far away, "You have to go to school, you know. You skipped school yesterday, you can't do that today. Mason, wake up. We have to go to school."

Mason's eyelids felt heavy. He wondered if he had any strength left in his body and mind.

"Please, Mason. You have to do this," She begged. Mason could feel her hand brushing off his hair from his forehead. She was stroking a thumb on his scar.

Everything he knew was wrong. Everything he believed was wrong and he had been living this wrong life for so long. Now suddenly he was pushed to the right side. It was blinding him.

"Wake up, Mason," Evelyn's voice sounded trembling. Mason sighed and opened his eyes.

"We have to go to school. Before that, I have to go to my house. Can you drive?" Evelyn said.

He could feel he was floating. His body couldn't hold him one place.

All he wanted to do was curl into a ball and don't show his face to anyone. But he made through somehow. Evelyn was leading him. He didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't think of anything.

He knew he had been hiding from something. He had been hiding from himself.

Mason was looking by the window. Whichever car he was in, stopped.

You killed them. It was your fault. It hurt me as much it hurt you.

Mason covered his face with his hands. Letting out a heavy breathe, he slammed his fist on whatever that was in front of him.

"Hey, hey," Someone pulled him. "Don't punch your locker like that."

"I need my punching bag," Mason mumbled.

"Okay, we will get to that, " Evelyn was standing in front of him now. "Look at your knuckles. What had you done with them?"

The skin around them were scraped. He didn't care.

"You can't keep doing this," Evelyn said rubbing her thumbs over them, "You can't keep doing this."

"I want to get out," Mason said looking around the hall. There were people. Too much people. He didn't wanna see a single face.

"I want to get out," He mumbled.

"Mason, please." Evelyn begged, "Only today. It will be fine tomorrow."

"It will never be fine." Mason said shaking his head. "It was wrong. Everything is wrong."

He could feel Evelyn hugging him tightly and he breathed. Mason just wanted to get out.

"You can do this. We can do this. We a team, remember?"

Mason couldn't tell if he replied or not. Time slipped away from him. The people around him slipped away. Reality was a daze. He didn't even know where he was staring at.

"You will be back by next Sunday," Mason said enthusiastically.

"Mason," Sarah said, "Why would you do something like that?"

Mason handed her the tickets. "Mom, you and dad, you guys have been working so hard. I know it had been a rough week for both of you. You deserve the vacation. You guys need to go."

"Since when you give us vacation, son?" Dad said slinging his arm on Mason's shoulder. Mason smiled. "See, your son is trying to control us." Dad joked looking at mom.

"Yes, if I didn't know your son, I will be thinking he is doing this so he can throw a party in this house for the last time before we move to the big one.But knowing your son," Mom shook her head.

"He will probably finish off his Math homework?" Dad said, "You are being boring, Mason."

"Dad, I am not boring. " Mason stepped out from his side embrace, "I will read the new science fictions. But don't worry, the house will be put to good use."

"Oh yes, Mallory," Mom rolled her eyes. Dad laughed.

"Give your daughter some rest. She is as not boring as my son. One day, she will rule the world." Dad said with his chest puffing up in pride.

"Of course, why not. Your daughter she is!" Mom replied back.

"As if she's my daughter only. She got it from you. You used to party a lot," Dad deadpanned.

Mason looked at his mom, "You did?"

"No way, your dad's lying!" Mom said. Dad chuckled.

"Ask Mady, she will tell the truth." Dad said to Mason.

"You can't do that to me, Louis," Mom warned. Dad chuckled. Mason chuckled along with him.

"You boys, you will be so dead for making fun of me!" Mom blew air through her nose. Dad chuckled harder and so did Mason.

Mom stomped upstairs. "See where Mallory gets her temper from?"  Dad suggested.

Mason nodded laughing, "Totally."

They packed their bag by the afternoon. When Mason was called downstairs, they were leaving.

"Trust me, you need this," Mason said convincing his mom. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I am believing you," Mom shook her head, "You guys could have come with us."

"Oh no no." Mason's dad put an arm around his mom's shoulder, "This is my second honeymoon. I am not taking any kids with me." He said.

"Louis," His mom glared. Mason chuckled.

"Keep an eye on Mallory, will you?" Mom said stepping forward, "I don't know why I feel so weird leaving you guys alone."

"Oh, Sarah, snap out of it," His dad said rolling his eyes, "Don't worry, they will be fine. They are grown ups now."

"Mason, throw a big party and enjoy but don't break anything and clean the house afterwards so your mom doesn't find out. But you can always tell me," His dad gave a suggestive wink.

"Louis!" His mom glared at him.

"Let's go Sarah." His dad pulled his mom.

"See, Dad is excited. It will be fine."Mason said.

"Your dad's excitement never brought anything good," His mom shuddered.

"Last time, I was excited we got a twin. It was like make one get one free." Dad replied. Mason almost choked on his spit.

"You will never grow up, will you? You have a grown up son and daughter, Louis." His mom glared.

Looking at Mason, his mom said, "Take care."

"I will,"Mason replied.

She smiled and Dad smiled too. They got inside their car. Mom looked at him through the window and waved. Dad waved too. Soon they drove out of the street. 

Mason kept looking at their car till it completely disappeared. He didn't know why a sigh escaped him. He walked inside and shut the door.

"Mason," Mason looked up and blinked, "Eat something."

Mason stared down at the food. He didn't feel any appetite. He didn't feel anything. He wondered if he would ever feel something. If he had any ability to feel.

If only he didn't plan the vacation.

If only he listened to his mom when she said she didn't feel good about it.

If only they didn't go.

There were so many ifs. If Mason could only turn back time, he would have stopped himself from doing this. He would have done anything to save them. He would have never let them go.

Mason sighed. They were gone. They were dead and Mason didn't even cry, not a single tear came out of his eyes.

Mason couldn't cry how hard he tried. Everything he felt kept inside and vaporized inside his chest. He never cried for them.

Would he be able to cry now?

"You have to finish this workbook A4 to A5," Someone said. "Mr. Stewart, are you listening?"

Mason looked up. Mr Pit was looking down at him. He nodded yes.

"I have to finish Maths from workbook A4 to A5," Mason said in a monotone. Mr Pit nodded at him. Mason looked away.

"Hello, Is this Mason Stewart?"asked someone from the other side of the call.

"Yes, why?" Mason said closing off his book.

"Relative of Louis Stewart and Sarah Stewart?" The voice asked again.

"Yes, I am their son, why?' Mason said being alert.

"Sir, you are requested to come to the St. Peters hospital." The voice said.

"Hospital?" Mason asked being breathless.

The voice in the other side said nothing. Or it did. Mason couldn't remember.

All he could remember was him running to the hospital emergency looking for his mom and dad. Asking nurses, doctors, anyone he could find. Then one nurse came forward and walked him to the morgue.

"They are here," She said in a robotic voice.

Mason stared at the sign that said morgue in red bold letter. He shook his head. They couldn't be here. Mason couldn't believe it. She must be lying.

"They were flying off to Miami. How can they be here? Are you insane?!" Mason said.

The nurse tilted her face and gave him a knowing look. She shrugged as if she wasn't surprised.

"Come, boy." She said opening the door. A rush of cold air from the inside knocked the air out of his lungs.

She pointed to the two bodies lying in two trays in the middle of the room. Mason was frozen in his spot. He shuddered and somehow walked to the bodies. He lifted up the cover ad dropped it immediately. It was anyone but his mother. The face was unrecognizable.

It was not his mother's face. She used to be so beautiful. But the body was wearing the same dress.

Mason buried his face in his palms and screamed.

Mason couldn't breathe. He struggled to grasp on anything. He looked around. He found Evelyn. She wrapped him up and he breathed.

Days passed like that. Mason woke up sweating. He had a horrible nightmare.

Evelyn shook him, "Mason."

"Blood, I saw blood." Mason said. "I couldn't recognize her face. There was so much blood."

Evelyn rocked him to sleep. He couldn't figure out anything. He heard Evelyn's chant that things would be alright.

"I want to see them," Mason mumbled. He was inside a car. Evelyn was bent towards him. She was strapping his seat belts on.

"You want to see them?" She asked returning to the driver's seat.

"Yes, my mom and dad. I need to see them." Mason nodded and he looked at Evelyn.

Evelyn sighed. "I remember the way to the graveyard," She murmured.

"Let's see if I can make it to there," She took a deep breathe and put the key to the hole. The car jerked up and so did Evelyn. She breathed out loudly.

"I am not driving us to school these days," Mason said.

Evelyn's shoulder thumped down, "You are not in the place to do anything."

She drove the car out of the street carefully. "You did."Mason said.

"If I could, I would eat your food for you too. You hardly ate anything," She shook her head in disappointment. A drop of rain slid down the windshield. Then it started full on raining.

Evelyn pulled the brake and cursed. "Where's the button for wipers?"

Mason moved from his seat and pushed it. The wipers started moving.

"Thanks," She mumbled, "I think I lost the way."

Mason looked at the road around them. He tried to figure out where they were given the rain.

"Drive straight then turn left and then turn right." He said.

"Straight-left-right. Got it," She said and started the engine again.

Mason stared at Evelyn. Evelyn probably had been driving them to school in the morning since the party and she had been the pushing Mason from then. Mason swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Don't look at me that way. You are making me more nervous," Evelyn said. "I am so glad you are finally seeing things not staring into nothingness."

Evelyn sighed in relief.

Mason looked out through the window. It was raining really hard.

Evelyn stopped the car. Mason unbuckled the seat belt. He was opening the door when Evelyn held him back, "Would you mind if I come with you?"

"It's raining." Mason said and Evelyn gave a sad smile.

"Okay. If you don't want me to.." Evelyn pulled away.

Mason stepped out of the car. Rain water washed on him on full force. He had to blink the water away from his eyelids. Looking at the gate of the graveyard, he knocked on the window. It rolled down.

"You can come," Mason said as rain water slid down his face. Evelyn nodded.

Mason walked to the gate. It cracked when he opened. There were many graves around. He slowly dragged himself to the corner. There were two graves side by side. Sarah Stewart and Louis Stewart, resting in peace.

Mason sat down on the ground in the middle of the two graves and stared at them.

They were dead, they were gone. It was the truth. He could not change it. He could not deny it.

They were gone.

Mason's eye stung. His lips trembled. His chest hurt and heaved. A cry rose from the inside of his chest.

They would never come back.

His tears streamed down and he crouched down. His shoulder shook. He mourned for them. He cried. He could finally cry.

He could feel Evelyn's arms around him and he hugged her back, pulling her close to him. He cried leaning on her, rain water mixed with his tears.

"They will never come back, they never will," He said shaking in emotions. Everything that had been inside of him poured out. For a while, he couldn't stop crying. He sobbed holding onto her tightly.

"I am here. I am here." She said again and again. 'We will be fine. We will be fine."

Mason shook and sobbed. Rain water washed on him. It washed away the tears from his face. He sniffed and breathed heavily. He walked out off the graveyard. He couldn't take it anymore.

He leaned against the car. Evelyn turned him around and hugged him.

"It will be okay. You will be okay." Evelyn said and Mason wanted to trust her. "You only wanted the best. You didn't plan any of it. It was an accident. It's not your fault. None of it was your fault."

Evelyn pulled back from him. She wiped all the tears away from his face and but the rain kept pouring on them. It was pouring down her face too. 

Evelyn looked long at his eyes. Mason looked back. Nothing made sense anymore. His chest fell up and down, rhythmic with hers.

Evelyn pressed her warm lips on him. He wondered how her lips was so warm even though both of them were shivering in cold rain water. She kissed him and he kissed back. He could not think of anything. He could finally feel the blood flowing inside his veins. His heart thudded reminding him he was still alive and he was still breathing. His brain melted and ran down his spine. He pulled her towards him and held her closer. Her fingers traveled in his hair, pushing him towards her.

When they pulled apart, Mason was breathing heavily.

He could feel it. He was breathing again. He was alive, so alive again and it was Evelyn who brought him back. She had been the only constant thing.

Mason knew what he felt. There is no denying anymore. 

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