Cause I got issues
But you got 'em too
So give 'em all to me
And I'll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
Of all our problems
'Cause we got the kind of love
It takes to solve 'em

Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is
how bad I need you

- Issues, Julia Michaels

34| Evelyn

Mason came upstairs exactly forty five minutes later with a bowl of soup. It smelled delicious.

But it still made Evelyn gag.

"Oh, God," Evelyn muttered under her breathe.

Mason was looking at her expectantly, his eyes scrutinized at her every expression when she lifted up a spoonful of that soup.

If Evelyn wasn't busy calming down her stomach, she would've seen Mason was nervous.

"It's good," Evelyn said gulping. The liquid went all through her stomach and it quenched so hard, Evelyn gagged but covered it with a cough, just for Mason's sake.

And it also made her realize she was hungrier than a wolf.

Mason released a breathe of relief, "It's my first time making a soup."

"It's pretty good." Evelyn gulped another spoonful.

"Try the chicken," Mason said. There was small bits of chicken floating around.

Evelyn did as he said. And it was a mistake.

Evelyn tried to chew it and gulp it down. But she couldn't make through. Her stomach lurched. And whatever was down there came up straight to her throat.

Mason might have seen that. Because he vanished and in a second he was there with a empty bowl. And yeah, Evelyn threw up.

"No!" Evelyn covered her face. "You just saw that! No!"

Mason gathered her hair from the behind and Evelyn threw up the second time but nothing came up.

"You don't have a fever," Mason muttered, "Where is the problem?"

Evelyn released a breathe. She pushed the bowl away and went to washroom, washed her face and mouth and got out.

Mason had cleaned everything and he entered with a carton of orange juice. "Not for now. Later, when you feel better."

"Okay." Evelyn said.

She couldn't believe she had just puked in front of him. What could be uglier than that? Yikes.

You are absolutely pathetic.

Yeah.

Mason looked serious as he sat down on her bed, browsing the internet.

"Are you looking for symptoms, Mason?" Evelyn asked in surprise.

Mason didn't reply.

"Mason, I'm fine." Evelyn assured him as she sat beside him on the bed.

"You keep saying that." Mason muttered.

"It must be because I haven't eaten anything all day."

Mason seemed not to hear that.

"Hey," Evelyn shook his hand, "I am telling you, I don't have any disease as far you are concerned."

Mason sighed throwing his phone on the bed.

"Why do I have a feeling, you know exactly what's going on?" Mason asked her face to face.

There was no way to hide now. Was there?

Evelyn didn't know how she could tell him about her anxiety. How do you exactly explain that? Describing anxiety is harder than it looks like. Most people don't even get the hang of it. And what will be his reaction?

Would he be angry? Be confused? Would he think she's weird? Pathetic?

What would he think?

There I go, overthinking again.

It would be the end of everything before even it started.

Evelyn looked at his eyes. Mason was worried.

Before she could decide anything, she heard herself saying, "It's not really physical, it's mental."

Mason's face was neutral of any expression.

Evelyn gulped. Her stomach tightened.

What are you doing? Are you mad? STOP.

Except, she didn't.

"I am always worried and overthinking. I end up feeling sick to my stomach."

If Evelyn couldn't tell him all about it, she could at least give him some hints. Those ones, that won't actually made her look like she's crazy.

"I have this knots in my stomach, like the way we feel before exams?"

"Yeah, I know. That stomach lurching.." Mason added.

"Yeah, exactly that. When you're gonna do something big, like presentation or it's a big match or something really important, the way your stomach churns and your nerves speed up and your heart rate goes up and all that."

"I know that feeling." Mason said.

"That's how I feel." Evelyn said.

"Always?" Mason asked.

Evelyn gulped.

Now he would think I'm crazy. He would think I'm weird.

"Hey, hey," Mason was cupping her cheek with one hand. "You are panicking."

Evelyn didn't even breathe for a few moments. Everything started to feel cold.

"Evelyn," Mason shook her. Evelyn blinked.

"Yes, I feel like that almost all the time. Sometimes it goes away. But it comes back." Evelyn's throat caught up.

"Again and again. In a circle." Evelyn swallowed. Her eyes sting.

Mason was hugging her. But she didn't feel anything.

Evelyn wished she could open up and talked about all of it. Evelyn wished she could rip her heart open and let out all the words, that had been sitting there for years, making her heart heavier every day.

It had been years since she had felt light, happy, free.

It had been so long.

Evelyn blinked back her tears and pulled back. She knew it would take years to let it all out. Just like it took years to pile it all up.

Evelyn didn't wanna make herself vulnerable. Again.

Mason was looking down linking their fingers. He was lost in his thoughts. When he looked up to meet her eyes, Evelyn felt a shiver going down her spine.

"First, I thought," Mason said, "You have depression."

Mason lifted up her left hand and grazed one finger on the tattoo. The tattoo Evelyn had gotten herself that day, when she had an anxiety attack right in his arms.

Since that day, it was like Mason had made a mission to break through the walls of Evelyn. Evelyn could see they have traveled all they way to here.

Evelyn still was doubting him. She couldn't believe herself.

"The way you would talk about life and the way you would always look sad," Mason said. "You eyes were so sad when I saw them first, I wondered what was going on with you."

Mason shook releasing a breathe.

"When I saw you first, I thought you had issues just like I do. Your eyes were tired. I hardly got sleep myself at that time and I wondered about what's that keeping you up at nights. The more I saw you, I got curious and then you had that mental breakdown in my arms. I was surprised that I was so worried about you and I couldn't figure out why. But I knew, I wanted to know you, I wanted you to share it all with me, so I could share mine and so we could bear it. Together.

"And I fought my way towards you. But you pushed me away every single time. Every time I tried, I could see the distance between us, wide and vast. I bare my soul to you, hoping you would do the same."

Mason's hands were shaking by the end. He looked up at Evelyn. His blue eyes pierced through Evelyn's soul.

"I am sorry if you still can't believe me. But I just want you to know, I am here for you. No matter what happens. No matter what is going on with you, I will still be here."

Evelyn's eyes watered. "It is not like I don't believe you. I guess I need time. Maybe someday, I will be able to tell you everything I want to." She whispered.

"Okay. We have all the time in the world." Mason said. Evelyn nodded.

His thumb was still caressing the tattoo, "Just know," Mason said, "Like your tattoo, you can't give up. I won't give up on you, Evelyn. Please don't give up on me."

His words hit home. Evelyn held his gaze. Her heart came up to her throat. She remembered every moment that lead up to this. She remembered every time Mason had tried for her. She knew it all.

Closing the distance between them, Evelyn placed her forehead on his. Mason's breathe unevened, so did Evelyn's. Their hearts were beating in the same rhythm and their lungs were getting the same air. The distance was merely a few centimeter and Evelyn thought she couldn't take it anymore. So she made the move.

"Wait," Mason said holding her cheek, drawing back a little.

Evelyn couldn't breathe. Her heart was beating way too fast. She wondered why Mason wanted to wait.

Mason was smiling, more specifically smirking.

Evelyn arched an eyebrow.

Taking his mouth close to Evelyn's ears, Mason whispered, "You just puked."

Evelyn didn't know what to say or feel.

Mason on the other hand was smiling. Seeing Evelyn's face, he threw his head back and boomed in laughter.

"I-" Evelyn started and stared at him dumbly.

Mason wiped the fake tears off his face. Evelyn's blood started to boil.

"You. Will. Regret. This." Evelyn said.

"No!"

"Oh yeah," Evelyn said smugly. "You will."

Mason caged her against his chest, "Do you have any idea how many time I already wanted to-"

"I don't want to have any idea. Get off me." Evelyn pushed him off and kicked his shin.

"Please, let me make up for it at least."

"Never. Get out of my room right now! I hate you!"

"Don't say things you don't mean, Evelyn. Only seconds ago you were going to-"

"That does not mean I can't hate you," Evelyn replied trying to get him off.

Mason was laughing again, "You should've seen your face."

"Oh Mason, you have no idea how sweet revenge tastes." Evelyn said.

"No," Mason said. He pulled even back.

"Get out!" Evelyn punched his arm.

"Let me," Mason was coming for Evelyn's cheek probably.

"I won't let you," Evelyn said leaning back.

"I'll tickle you then," Mason said getting an idea. His face was shining with mischief.

"I don't have a tickle spot." Evelyn deadpanned.

"I'll have to find one then." Mason said. He was coming for Evelyn.

Evelyn shrieked. Mason howled and laughed.

The fight went on a few moments with Mason trying to tickle Evelyn and Evelyn dodging him and tackling him.

At one point, when Evelyn was on Mason, punching his stomach, the door opened.

"Oh." Dad's voice was heard.

Evelyn stood up jumping.

"Right. Your friend. Sorry, I should've knocked."

"No, dad. It's not what it looks like," Evelyn complained.

Dad said nothing. He closed the door and walked away.

Evelyn turned towards Mason with her hands on her hips.

"It's all your fault!" She huffed.

"Well," Mason put his hands up in surrender. "How are you still not blushing?"

Evelyn touched her cheek. The colors came rushing back.

"Ah, there it is." Mason smiled. "I love it when you blush."

Evelyn huffed and looked away. His words made Evelyn's cheek look like ripe tomato.

Seconds later, Evelyn was hugged from behind.

"You know, I think we are doing injustice to the word, 'Friend' ."

"Oh, are we?" Evelyn turned and asked him. His face was too close.

"Yes," Mason said lost in thoughts, " We need to get rid of that tag, you know."

"Hmm okay," Evelyn swallowed. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest.

"If the pathetic excuse of my sister didn't drop herself in Fallholt this time, we'd have no longer been called just friends." Mason grimaced. He turned to Evelyn.

"I had plans, you know."

"Oh." Evelyn replied.

Mason smiled at her. "Don't worry. We still have time."

"Umm okay."

"I'm going to woo the shit out of you someday." Mason said and laughed.

Evelyn elbowed him. Mason and his horrible humor.

"I'll go home then. See you later." Mason stepped back. Evelyn already missed the warmth of his hug.

"Goodnight then." Evelyn said. "You could've stayed for dinner. I don't think Dad would've mind."

"I would have. But I had to check up on my dear sister. Also, Carolina needs me home." Mason said.

"Okay."

Mason walked towards the window. He put on his shoes and opened the window door.

Evelyn followed him. As he stepped a foot out the window, Evelyn grabbed him by the collar. Standing on her tiptoe, she pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"Now, we're even." She replied pulling back.

Mason's eyes were still close.

"I like the idea of being even."

His eyes fluttered open. His pupil was dialated. For a flicker of second, Mason's eyes roamed to Evelyn's lips.

Evelyn saw her chance pushed him out the window. She might or might not have pushed too hard. Because after that, she heard a thud.

Evelyn looked out the window. Mason lay on his back on the ground.

"Oops. Revenge!"

"I could've died!" Mason said sitting up.

"Oh yeah, totally, that was the plan." Evelyn smiled mischievously.

"That's totally like my soulmate. First she kisses and then she kills!" Mason said.

Evelyn closed the window back. None needed to know how hard her heart beat at that moment.

• • •