You shout it out

But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium

-Titanium, Sia

24| Evelyn

Evelyn shifted and opened her eyes and breathed out. She had little arms wrapped around her stomach. She looked down to the little girl she had sleeping next to her. Her blonde hair was falling on her cheeks and Evelyn brushed them aside. Carefully, she slid her arms from her stomach and sat up. She still had that story book on her lap. The same story book with stories of princesses and their beautiful kingdoms and their princes.

Evelyn put the book on the bedside table and stood up. Taking a deep breathe, she got out of the room turning off the light and closing the door. The hallway was empty. Everybody must had been asleep. She crossed two rooms before turning to the one she would be sleeping in. Madyline had already showed her the room in the morning.

Evelyn sat down on the bed and pulling her legs up, she hugged her knees. She could not ignore the heaviness that was dawning on her every second. Evelyn knew she agreed with Mason to come here not only because he needed to get outside the town. The truth was, Evelyn wanted to get out of her house too. It was no home to her at all.

Evelyn thought getting out of there, she would feel free, she would feel good. But she didn't.

When she first reached here, she was happy. She never thought a guy like Ethan could have such a lovely family but he did. The twin brothers were adorable and so was Raine.

Evelyn took time to check out there family photos that hung on their walls. And that was when she felt empty. As the day approached, she proceeded to feel emptier. It was the little things.

It was when Raine had food all around her mouth and Madyline wiped it off for her while scolding but Evelyn didn't miss the love in her eyes. It was when Ethan was screaming at the top of his lungs at the boys because they left their toys on the floor. He said he would beat them to pulps and the boys were so scared they ran. When they were gone, Ethan smiled and walked away. The day got older, the more things like this she would notice.

And the worst was Raine. Raine was a little princess in her pink world dreaming about unicorns, running around whining but nobody complained. From Ethan to Madyline to even the twins, they loved her to the bits.

So when she thought, Raine was just like her, a spoiled little kid who would dream for too much and would mess up everything when she grew up, how she was going to break herself and how she was going end up like Evelyn, Evelyn realized she never would.

Because she had a family. She had a mother who would be with her through her thick and thin, who would watch out for her and give her the best advices. Raine would have Ethan, the dad who would blow up the world for his daughter. The twin big brothers, who looked stupid but would probably watch over her no matter what.

She was never going be another Evelyn.

Evelyn hugged her knees tight and deep down she realized she was acting like a bitch. A part of her actually wanted Raine to end up like that. Evelyn closed her eyes shut tightly.

Evelyn realized she was in too deep. Because instead of feeling happy for this beautiful family, she was feeling angry. She was feeling jealous and she could not be happy for them. She realized she was way too gone.

Evelyn wanted to get out of this house. Evelyn hated herself so much for feeling that way. She shook and shivered. She wanted to scream. She took deep breathes one at a time. She hated to feel restless like this, she hated the fact that she had to do something, she had to act on something to make herself feel normal. She just could't act normal. She couldn't be normal.

Evelyn could not be like a normal girl smiling at people, feeling happy for everyone around, making friends and admitting, committing.

To be that, she had to completely shut off her fucking brain. She had to shut off her inner voices. She had to shut off her demons. And she didn't know how to do it. Evelyn was trapped.

Evelyn slid down to the floor. Taking a hold of the cover she screamed on the fabric. Her tears streamed down her cheeks like they were overloaded. Her heart rang loudly on her ear. Her chest felt heavier with every passing second. Every limb in her body hurt and she could not think of anything for her brain to place on, no happy memories, no good thoughts nothing.

There was a whisper inside her that kept telling her just to give up and let go and she would be free from all of this.

Evelyn's breathe hitched, she choked on her tears. With her broken voice, she whispered, "I won't. I won't. I won't." She repeated.

This is getting too painful.

This is all inside my brain. Nothing is wrong. This will pass. Evelyn said to herself debating with the voice inside her head.

Oh, you think. It will just keep happening. This will come back.

Just two more minutes and I won't feel like that. Evelyn assured herself.

Oh, yes. You will be free and then you will feel like this again some day, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow. You will never be free from this.

Her tears slowly dried up and stopped flowing. Evelyn held on to the covers and inhaled and exhaled. Her heart beat slowly became normal. Evelyn felt better for the time being. Her head felt clearer.

It was time for feeding herself some false hope.

"Things will be fine, I know." Evelyn said to herself. "I will be fine. At least, I will be better."

The inner demons wanted to protest but Evelyn gritted her teeth. As if making sounds would make them stop.

"I will just finish school. Then I will get to New York. I will have to no longer deal with my pathetic excuse of a dad. I will live in my own apartment. I will have my best friends around me. I will finish college, I will get a job." Evelyn breathed out.

"I will live till I am old and I will tell stories about how I kicked this shitty life on its face. How I never let it win over me and swallow me. I will show them. I am a strong and independent girl. I can do this." Evelyn said as she placed her head on the pillow and covered herself.

"I can do this." She said again.

You are probably going to forget all of this and give up soon.

"No, I won't. I still haven't hit the last string yet. My last hope is New York." She said feeling victorious against the inner demons.

And what if New York goes wrong?

Evelyn shut her eyes tight and let the darkness consume her. She didn't want to think about anything now. She felt the inner voices had shut off too. Maybe they were tired just like her.

Evelyn waited and waited. One minute passed and two minute passed. She lost count of time and nothing happened. There was no sleep in her eyes. Her eyes didn't feel heavy. Her brain was too awake to fall asleep.

Evelyn looked around for her phone. It was on the floor where she was sitting when she had the attack. She groaned and leaned down. Getting her phone, she turned it on and visited the various websites looking for new books and their publications.

Few seconds later, she heard shuffling noise downstairs. Her body went into alert mode, her brain was ready to form a plan.

We are too awake, aren't we? Evelyn said to herself.

There was already pictures inside her head how she would go down the stairs right now and tackle the thief, catch him red handed and be a hero.

In reality she was still in bed under the covers looking at the door.

Maybe the sound was inside her head too, Evelyn thought. So she ignored it and went back to her phone.

Something thudded on the floor and this time Evelyn was sure, it was not inside her head. She sat upright.

Something was definitely happening downstairs.

Evelyn put off the cover and placed her feet on the floor. Slowly opening her door, she peeked outside. There was no light, no noise. She was really doubting herself right now. Her throat felt dry. She was thinking of those heroines of horror movies, how they heard distinct noises and always walked towards it instead of ignoring. Although they knew, they were going to meet a ghost.

But this was real life and she was not a heroine in a horror movies. If there was nothing downstairs, she could just get a glass of water. She was not sleepy anyway. Maybe she could even take a walk outside. That would probably make her feel better.

But it was too dark out there. It was not even possible to make out what was one foot away.

What am I? A three years old? I am afraid of dark?

She held her head high and stepped outside from the room. "I am a strong girl, duh."

Holding her hand out like zombies, Evelyn walked in the dark. Finally she could see the stairs. She realized it was not that dark there. There was light coming from the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes. She made her way to the kitchen. There was dim light seeping out of it.

She stepped inside tip toeing. She saw a butt, and then two more butts. Specifically, a big butt and two small butts. Their heads were inside something. Evelyn realized that was the refrigerator. The refrigerator was swallowing them whole.

Since when do refrigerators swallow people? Evelyn rolled eyes at herself and thought her brain wasn't functioning.

She turned on her heels and she came to a conclusion there were people robbing the freeze. She minded her own business and walked a few steps.

There were people robbing the freeze.

She quickly made her way back inside. This time, she saw a tall shadow in the dark holding something that looked like a plate in the fridge light and there was food in it. The figure turned.

It went stiff. Evelyn blinked.

"Shit, " Said a voice from somewhere in the dark.

"Shit, " Said another voice that sounded boyish.

"Shit." said a voice which sounded deeper and huskier and Evelyn could swear she had heard it before.

It took only a second and there was a ding in her brain.

Evelyn gave a devious smirk.

Author's note: i know i shouldve updated last week but i didnt because i actually dont have any reasons. these are all pre-written, and i could've but well whatever, i was just procrastinating and i am procrastinating now. I don't even know how to spell that word. so yeah. i haven't written any thing in three weeks. but you don't needa worry i have four chapters still written and you are really gonna love those ehe.

bye:)

And VOTE PWEASE. (i feel poor idk why)