I'm a ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again

-The Lonely, Christina Perri

13| Evelyn

Evelyn couldn't still forget his blue eyes sparkling and the small dimple she saw when he smiled. She stayed rooted on her spot looking at the way where he had disappeared into the night.

"I can't be your not-friend. It's not possible for me," Evelyn mocked in Mason's voice while making faces.

You are already crazy. You are talking loudly to no one.

I know I am crazy. No need to make that a big deal. Evelyn puffed.

He acted really nice today by the way.

So what? What can I do about it?

Evelyn sometimes really hated her inner voice. Not sometimes, she always hated her inner voice. Groaning for no reason in particular she turned around and opened the front door of the house. She pulled off her vans and got inside. Dad was watching TV as he always did. When Evelyn was about to make her way upstairs she heard her dad, "Make sure he is not like the last one."

Evelyn almost stumbled on her steps. She turned around and saw her dad seated where he was before.

She quickly made her way around the couch.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, make sure he is not like the last one. I remember him, he was no good."

All the blood in Evelyn's body started boiling. Her ears felt warm.

"Are you giving me love advice, dad?" Evelyn tried to keep her voice as calm as she could.

"No, I am telling you to look out for yourself. Be careful. You are too careless for your own good." He said looking emotionless.

"Wow. Since when you started to care about me that much?" Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn't control the rush of anger inside her anymore. They were pressuring her and was threatening to burst out. Her throats became strained.

"Watch who are you talking to Evelyn. " Her dad didn't even look at Evelyn.

"Oh, I know who I am talking to." Evelyn's voice cracked. She wanted to be bold and strong and wanted to talk clearly, without showing as little emotion as possible, but her voice shook out of her will. "I am talking to a shell of a man, who is burdened with her daughter's responsibility. "

"Evelyn! " Her dad raised his voice.

"Yes, I am right. If you've cared about me ever, you didn't come to New York and moved me out like that." Tears left her eyes before she knew, she hated it. She hated showing any sign of weakness, she hated breaking off in emotions.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was for me? Do you? Leaving the place I grew up in, the people I grew up around, my friends, my school, my everything." More tears left her as she spoke and she couldn't help it.

"Do you have any idea how I felt when you said we have to move again after I was almost settled in Ohio? I had made new friends. I was happy with everything. But we had to move just because you felt like it. I had two options, my school, and friends or you, and I chose you." Evelyn wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"And do you even know what I go through every day? Have you ever asked me how am I doing? Have you asked me if I was alright?" She was shaking in the emotions.

"You never did, dad. You never did. Now don't give me shits by telling me you care about me." Evelyn said and left.

"Is this all because I insulted the boy?" He said sitting in the same position he was before.

Evelyn stopped at the stairs and gasped, not quite believing her luck."Wow." She muttered to herself.

Wasting no time she made it to her room and slammed the door shut. Collapsing down on the floor she let out the tears she was holding. Sobbing, she got her phone out and called.

Cecily picked after two rings.

"Hello," She said.

"I have loads to tell you. Don't you dare fall asleep," Evelyn threatened with her voice cracking.

"I am all ears, babe." This is all Evelyn needed to hear. She started blurting.

• • •

The only thought Evelyn woke up with was how did she end up like this. She wanted to be someone else. She wanted to be born on a different planet, maybe a different galaxy, if possible, a different universe.

She didn't want the life she was living.

She took a look at her tattoo and smiled sadly at herself.

Oh, what a miserable damsel I am.

She quickly got up from her bed with a banging headache. Her head felt heavier and it felt as if someone was hammering in her brain. She was up all night and now the body was taking a toll of it. She couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried. She looked at herself in the mirror, there was a faint dark line under her eyes, her hair was in knots.

Oh great. I look like a princess.

Brushing her teeth, she threw on an oversized t-shirt, a pair of loose jeans and smoothed out her hair with her fingers. Twisting them up, she got them into a ponytail.

Opening her door, she took a look outside. She made it down to the living room and thankfully Dad wasn't around. He was the last person on earth Evelyn wanted to see. She was guilty about the way she reacted and shouted at him but she couldn't help it.

She loved her dad and when he came back to get Evelyn in New York after granny died, she was more than happy. She finally believed she wasn't an orphan. She didn't think twice before moving out holding her dad's hand. Dad was the only family she had. It was where she belonged.

A sigh escaped her throat and she walked out of the house.

Some days were really hard to go through. Those days, Evelyn knew nothing could help her, not a single thing in the universe could make her happy. She would keep asking herself what was the point of fighting, what was the point of doing all of this. She would not like to read books, she would not like to go to school, she would not like to see anyone's face, she would not like doing anything, She would like to shut her brain off. She just wanted to dig a hole, crawl into it and never come out.

Or maybe she could take a trip to Mars, leaving this world behind that sucked so much, leaving all the people of it too. She knew she would just be fine and would not regret even a bit of it.

"What are you wearing?"A screeching Abigail said out of nowhere. Evelyn realized she was already in school, in front of her locker. Abigail was standing there with her hands on her hip.

Evelyn looked down at her outfit, then looked up at Abigail. Honestly, she couldn't care less.

"Why, is anything wrong?" She asked back not realizing.

"How many dresses did I buy you?" She asked again and Evelyn saw Abigail herself was wearing a yellow sundress.

Last night, after she was done talking with Cece, Noah came to her house with all those shopping bags she had left in his car. There were four extra bags of Forever 21 though Evelyn didn't buy anything from there. Later she got a text from Abigail saying those were hers. As if, Evelyn wanted dresses.

"I told you I don't wear a dress." She felt bored and opened her locker.

"Four, I bought you four dresses, and yet you can't even wear one for me. You didn't like bright colors so I bought white, pale orange, blue and green. But here I have to see you another day in these," Abigail whimpered. Evelyn shrugged.

"Do you have a mission to scare the boys away?" Abigail asked and Evelyn scrunched up her nose.

"Yes, always. I try to look as less girly as possible not to attract a certain species of homo sapiens, that is the males." Evelyn joked. It wasn't true anyway. She wore whatever she felt like wearing. She had shits to go through and appearance was not the thing that came often to her mind.

"Hey," a male specimen was standing beside them. Evelyn turned and looked at Mason.

"What's up?" He asked Abigail who was still glaring at Evelyn.

"Just look at Evelyn." She said.

"Yes?" He looked at her and then back at Abigail.

"Do you think she looks right?" Abigail asked back.

Mason narrowed his eyes. He looked back at Evelyn, did a quick eye over her head to toe, and looked back at Abigail, "Evelyn looks like Evelyn."

Evelyn looked at Abigail. "Yes, I know. I bought her four dresses and yet she won't wear even one. Tell me, don't you think she will look fantastic in dresses?" Abigail looked at Mason and gave him her best puppy eyes. Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Mason while waiting for his answers.

He looked at Evelyn, then he gulped. Looking away, he scratched the back of his head, "I have classes to go." He said and tried to walk away but Abigail took a hold of his jacket.

"I asked you something."

Evelyn kept tapping her foot as she waited for him to say something.

"Well," he looked at Evelyn then back at Abigail, " Why are you forcing her? She can wear whatever she wants. It's her choice. She is nice the way she is. I don't really think she needs to change anything about it." He said looking away at the corridor while fiddling with his backpack's strap.

Evelyn stood there, jaw dropped.

Is Mason Stewart nervous?

"You-" she said and couldn't quite finish the sentence. She was waiting for him to say something jerk-ish or maybe something else. But she didn't see those words coming for him.

"You have lost brain cells," Abigail concluded. "You haven't even looked at her properly."

"I really have to go." He said and walked two steps. Then as if he remembered something he turned and came back. Looking at Abigail he said, "Maybe she can try to comb her hair."

Evelyn gasped. "You bastard!" She yelled and Mason looked at her smiling and then ran towards his class. Evelyn followed.

"I don't comb my hair, that's also my choice. You!" She said.

"It's a healthy habit, you know, part of cleanliness." He said stopping in front of the class.

"Cleanliness huh? I will teach you what cleanliness is." Evelyn glared.

Mason threw his hands up in the air like surrender and said, "I just saved you from the fashion police. Don't I deserve a 'Thank you'?"

Evelyn arched her eyebrow and the realization hit. She snorted.

"Sometimes I wonder, what will happen if we leave Abigail to judge everyone's dress. The world will look pinkier and girlier." He said and Evelyn laughed.

"Yes, she will wrap the school with pink flower wraps." She said and they entered the class.

The fact that Evelyn had completely forgotten was today was their math test. She hadn't studied much, only practiced some maths from her workbook. She didn't trust Mr. Pit. So instead of doing them all, she had left it all in the hands of fate. She took her usual seat in the middle row and of course, Mason took the seat behind hers.

"Stewart, you will do just fine. Just believe in yourself. You will rock this. You will do awesome. Stewart, you will be fine." Mason was interrupted by a confused Evelyn who looked back.

"What are you doing?" Evelyn asked.

"Ugh, I am giving myself a pep talk. Don't interrupt." Mason said and took a deep breath. "So where was I? Yeah, Stewart, you are gonna smash it. You will throw it on Mr.Pit's face."

"You really think that's gonna help?" She asked and couldn't help grinning.

"Of course, it does. I am trying to lift myself." He said while tapping his pencil on the desk.

"It is just a math test. Seriously." Evelyn rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but it will add up. I need to do fine. I needa do absolutely right. It can't go wrong." He said and continued to tap his pencil. Evelyn smiled at his nervousness.

"I didn't take you as someone so serious about studies, I thought you were dumb," Evelyn confessed looking back.

"Oh." Mason said, "You know what, I am not that much serious, I don't wanna be a Valedictorian, I will leave that for Rita but I do want a college scholarship."

"Oh," Evelyn replied and turned around. After a few moments, she turned back, "You are secretly a nerd." She stated.

Mason opened his mouth to say something but Mr. Pit took the exact moment to enter the class. Mason nodded at the teacher so Evelyn looked forward. If Evelyn wasn't wrong, she was sure she saw Mr. Pit glaring her way, or maybe their way.

"Why is he looking at me like that?" Mason asked in a low voice from behind.

"I think he is looking at me," Evelyn replied as she ducked down a little.

"Maybe he is looking at us," Mason said.

"Hmm," Evelyn replied. Today's test going to be hard, Evelyn had the feeling.

And the test began. Mr. Pit handed out the test paper. With pure luck, Evelyn saw the problems of the test were the same kind she had practiced earlier. She knew the questions were harder as students around were gasping. Evelyn kept doing one after one and moments later, the question paper was snatched back by Mr. Pit. The test was over.

"How was your test?" Evelyn asked as they made their way out of the class.

"Yeah, it was alright. What about you?" Mason asked following her.

"Mine was fine. Told ya, it's just a test." Evelyn looked at his eyes. Evelyn really didn't feel anything at all. Mason was more anxious than her as it looked like.

The rest of the day went as usual. Finishing her art class, Evelyn stepped outside. Mason was leaning against the wall beside the classroom door.

"Hey," He waved and fell in steps with her.

"What, you have been waiting?" She asked as they left the school corridor.

"Yep, I wanted to show you something," Mason said and he sounded cheerful than usual.

"What is it?"

"Come and you will see," He said and took a hold of Evelyn's wrist and dragged her to the parking lot. Halting in front of a green old rusty jeep, he let go of her and stood in front of it, smiling. "Here."

Evelyn stood there, looked at the roofless jeep, and then looked back at Mason who was shining in happiness.

"Yes?" She asked not quite understanding.

"This is Rosy. Say hello to her, my new jeep." He placed his hand on the hood of his car, "I have been working on her for weeks. Finally, she is ready to run with me."

Evelyn gave him a bored expression, "Why is a car she?"

"My other car was a he," Mason replied. He came forward and stretched his hand towards her, "C'mon hop on. You will be the first one to ride on her other than me."

"What have I done to get the privilege?" Evelyn mocked looking at his hand.

"Looking like the world is gonna end any minute. Particularly, by moping."

"I wasn't moping for the whole day," Evelyn complained.

"No, you just kept staring at places and sighing and well, moping." He took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something then he shook his head.

"Just get in the car. Let's get you home."

She looked up in his blue eyes and said slowly, " I don't want to go home." She looked down at her shoes. " There is nothing called home."

She looked up at his face again. He looked like he was seeing through her. His eyes were on her but they were distant.

"Okay," Mason said after a while. Taking her hand again he walked forward, " Then let's not go home."

• • •

Edited.