I was back in my bathroom. I glanced at my watch to see that it was about two in the morning. John and Louise were in the dream world so the house was filled with a tranquil kind of silence. I met the eyes of my reflection. They were clouded; as if I was on the verge of crying. I wasn't. I had just been excessively thinking about Lance and how I was never going to have a chance with him.

After giving myself a mental pep talk whilst staring at my reflection, I opened up my mouth and exhaled a short breath. "Come on, come on, come on," I kept repeating inside my head because I knew I could do this. I had said it aloud before and I had long since come to terms with my sexuality. I was making it much harder than it needed to be.

I stepped back and deeply inhaled. "I'm gay." The words were out there and nothing felt different. The room didn't set on fire and I didn't implode. Saying it wasn't so hard; I just needed to say it to Lance. I swallowed thickly and mumbled the words again, just so I knew for sure that I was able to say it.

I was going to tell him. I swore to myself that he would know sometime in the near future. I clenched a fist at my side and glanced down at it. "I can do this." I said aloud to no one but myself.

-

I don't know what happened but somehow I ended up shut in my bathroom. The day started off just like every other Saturday with me playing an excessive amount of video games and texting Lance from time to time. Then my mind began to wander to places I didn't really want it to go. It had the tendency to drift rather frequently so I wasn't too surprised... until Lance came to mind again.

I was in the middle of playing Spider-Man. It reminded me of that time when Lance had been playing it before asking me to the party. That's how I ended up here.

I clutched the edge of the sink for support. My mind was running and the cogs were turning at such a speed that too much friction was being caused. It was making me feel lightheaded, dizzy and like I was going to puke. I turned to the toilet and, surprisingly enough, I puked up the contents of my lunch. I didn't eat much so it was just the mush of an apple and a piece of toast. I was sobbing and retching but couldn't stop myself.

My phone started to buzz violently in my pocket so I pulled it out with shaky hands. I answered the call and took a long, deep breath. I wouldn't have answered if it hadn't been Lance. "Hey, wanna come over?" Lance opened with. I smiled through the dried up tears, pain and the burn of vomit that still lingered in my throat, almost sad that I was about to be the gigantic rain cloud over his sunny day.

"There's something I need to talk to you about." I think all the puking had made me delirious or something because I really wasn't thinking about what I was saying. I moved the phone away from me as I heaved again but nothing came out. I could feel my teeth chattering and my body trembling but I wasn't even cold. I just felt like absolute shit.

"Are you... crying?" So much for not being able to read anybody. He could tell I had been crying, even when I tried to cover it up. My quivering voice must have given it away.

"A little... and I just puked up my lunch."

"Nice... are you sick?"

"No. Can you come over?"

"Yeah, I'll just go get my shoes on." I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. I didn't feel like I had the energy to say anything else.

It took every ounce of effort I had in me to get up with my weak legs and head downstairs to open the door once he knocked. I think he must have run the entire three blocks to my house because, when I opened up my door, he was out of breath and his face was bright red. I smiled at him before I realised I hadn't checked myself out in the mirror first. I probably looked like an absolute mess. "Hey, dude." I said before reaching out, grabbing his arm and dragging him up to my room. He didn't say a word the entire way up there, only greeting me properly once we were both sat on my space bed covers.

"I'm gay," I blurted out. It was much easier to just jump in the deep end rather dawdling on the edge, contemplating all the possibilities of the jump and eventually getting yourself too worked up to actually do it. "I've known for ages."

Lance looked speechless. His eyes darted around the room- everywhere but my own eyes. "...What?"

"I knew way before you came out to me... not that it matters. I don't know why I didn't tell you. I guess I didn't want to take over your coming out situation."

"You should have told me..." He glanced down at his hands before hesitantly laying his head on my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat and my breath hitched but he didn't seem to notice. "This whole fake relationship doesn't make you uncomfortable... does it?"

"Well... no."

"You sound hesitant."

"I'm not."

"Is there something else you aren't telling me?"

"No." Tears welled up in my eyes. When had I become such a cry baby? As soon as Lance noticed, he leaned towards me and wiped away my tears. His hands were warm against my face but they didn't seem to linger for long enough.

"If you're sure it doesn't make you uncomfortable. And, if I ever take it too far, tell me."

"I will." I wouldn't.

-

Somehow I got roped into a game of Scrabble with Lance's family. His mum and dad were working together and, of course, Lance and I were together. Veronica was out at a friend's house. Lance had his hand balanced on mine and our thighs were touching but I could just about deal with that much physical contact. I had got us a strong 24 points for the word 'zoo' and Lance had given me a kiss on the cheek as a reward. It left a lingering heat that I basked in for as long as humanly possible. I found myself enjoying it.

His parents obviously had to one-up us with the word 'quiz', scoring 42 points. As Lance jotted down the score, he was scowling. It was pretty cute and I thought I'd take advantage of the situation and lean over to whisper, "You're so cute." When his mum heard, she broke out into a cheesy grin. Lance went bright red and I leaned back, proud that I could have been the cause of Lance's adorable blush.

"That's disgusting." Lance's dad laughed but it didn't sound harsh. It sounded sarcastic. Maybe the plan really was working.

"Just a little while longer." I thought to myself.