"His excuse," Lance said with a mouthful of pizza. If anyone else talked with food in their mouth, I'd have judged them heavily and been fairly disgusted but this was Lance. I supported everything he did. I mean, even if he murdered someone, I'd probably be right there by his side, offering my shoulder to lean on.

Pizza was one of his favourite coping mechanisms. I knew that; hence why I invited him over to binge eat pizza until we both felt sick. He had also drank so many cans of beer but we had quickly lost count. I glanced at the table to see a pile of empty cans. We had drank a few apparently. My 'parents' weren't home which was a literal miracle and meant I could scavenge into John's (he's my adoptive dad but I never call him dad) 'secret' stash of beer. He rarely drank it so would hardly notice anything missing. "Was that I hadn't been with anyone. Oh you've never had a girlfriend. Maybe you'll find a girl, fall in love and realise this is just a phase. Bullshit if you ask me." Lance even put on a voice as an impression of his dad and I found myself chuckling loudly because it was the most stupid but hilarious thing ever.

We were a little tipsy, I have to admit. "That is bullshit. How'd he know he was straight before dating a girl?"

"Exactly! He said everyone is straight. I was like yeah, right." Lance laughed, chugging more beer. I would have stopped him from drinking so much but my tipsiness was clouding my rationality.

"Maybe you could find someone to pretend to be your boyfriend just to show you know your sexuality." Yep, I was definitely drunk.

"I have no friends except you and I can't pretend you're my boyfriend!"

"Sure you could. Your dad would only need to see us hold hands or something." Sober-me would never have come up with an idea so preposterous but apparently drunk-Keith didn't play by sober-Keith's rules.

"Then let's do it," He was laughing then I was laughing and then he was saying, "I love you fake boyfriend." I could feel my stomach doing an entire gymnastics routine at the simple statement and, if I closed my eyes and downed more beer, I could almost pretend he meant the three words. We passed out not long later, after a stupendous amount of laughter.

-

"My head..." I muttered, sitting up and placing a hand on my hot forehead. I turned to see Lance beside me in bed and a mound of empty beer cans on the floor and on my desk.

"Same. Man, how much did we drink?" Lance sounded like he was in as much pain as I was so... a lot. I never wanted to touch another can of beer again. In that moment, I swore to myself that I wouldn't drink it ever again.

"Too much."

"Do you remember what happened last night?" I searched Lance for any signs to point me in the right direction but found nothing. I ended up shaking my head. "You said you'd pretend to be my boyfriend to prove to my dad that I really am gay." My mouth fell open and I refused to meet his eyes. Drunk-me was an absolute idiot and I wanted to take him on in a boxing match just so I could punch his face in. Lance was laughing because he knew how stupid it was.

Maybe there was still alcohol in my system because I found myself mumbling, "I could do that." Hungover-me was apparently just as idiotic as drunk-me.

"You'd do that?"

"Of course. You're my best friend." I should have shut up ages ago but there I was, still speaking. I was committing to something that was destined to break my heart. I was just going to end up hurt as my mind was poisoned with false hope by our fake relationship.

"Thank you. It means so much to me." He placed a hand on my knee and my heart beating much more rapidly than usual was a sign that I was already in too deep. I gulped as I wondered how on earth I was going to keep my cool holding his hand in front of his dad.

After a few minutes of glorious silence, we headed downstairs. I was just about to concoct the best breakfast in existence when I noticed Louise (she was my adoptive mum but, like John, I didn't ever call her mum) sitting at the kitchen table. She looked awfully tired, as if she hadn't gotten any sleep at all. "Hello, Keith." She murmured, looking down into her coffee cup. She had already drunk most of it but apparently still found it interesting to stare at.

"Hey, Mrs Kogane." Lance replied. No matter how many times Louise and I insisted he called her by her first name, he always refused. He was too much of a gentleman.

"We need to talk," Her tone connoted bad, bad things. "Last night, we came home to find you two laying on Keith's bed with a dozen of John's beer cans on the floor," I exchanged a look with Lance that basically said 'kill me now'. As someone who was usually such a model student (at least that's what Louise had always thought), I really didn't want to have this conversation with Louise. I was going to get endless lectures about the safety of alcohol and I wanted to groan just thinking about it. I was almost eighteen. I wasn't a baby anymore and I knew exactly what I was doing when I finished all that beer. "You should know not to drink alcohol at this age. I am so disappointed in you. I don't know whether to ground you or what... you've never been this stupid before. What happened?"

Beside me, Lance bashfully raised his head. "It was actually my fault. I had had a really bad day and he just wanted to help me feel better."

"Drinking alcohol most certainly will not make you feel better."

"It's not like we're going to become alcoholics. And I'm almost eighteen so it really shouldn't be that big a deal." I chipped in timidly. I was waiting for her voice to rise in volume. I hated shouting and everyone knew it. I made sure to be the perfect kid, just to avoid being screamed at because, for some reason, it always upset me. Maybe, at seventeen years old, I'd be a bit tougher but I didn't want to have to test it out.

Louise sighed, taking a long sip of her coffee as she thought. I watched her eyes and facial expression in an attempt to read her but failed miserably. I wondered if Lance could read her better. He liked psychology so surely he could read people like books..? That's what psychologists did, right? I made a mental note to ask Lance later. Anyway, back to Louise. Lance must have deducted something from her face because he added to what I had said. "You know other teenagers get drunk like every weekend. Me and Keith were probably the only ones in our year to have never drank alcohol until last night."

"I don't know whether I should be relieved or concerned," There wasn't any smoke coming out of her ears which was probably a good sign. "But I'll let you off. Just know the money for those beers is coming out of your pocket."

"John never even-" I started to argue but Lance sent me a look that basically said 'shut the hell up'. I trusted Lance and didn't want to make it worse so I ended up murmuring, "Okay, fine."