Perfection is subjective. I don't think my grey eyes are perfect or the boring way I dress. I don't think my smile or my personality is perfect. I think my hair looks stupid more often than not and I hate that I have such a big mouth and can insult people without even thinking about it but Lance thinks I'm perfect (for some crazy reason). Meanwhile, I think he is the most beautiful and perfect human being on the planet. I didn't understand how he could see himself in any other way. I thought our relationship was absolutely perfect but others apparently thought otherwise.

I don't know when it started or even why but things began to go downhill. We were on cloud nine one day and, the next, we were crashing to the ground. The reason? University. I wanted to go somewhere prestigious like Oxford or Cambridge but Lance said he'd be happy with anything. He didn't even want to go to university, happy to live with his parents for the rest of his life. I thought Lance was capable of so much and not going to university was missing out on a huge opportunity. Lance was a smart boy and he loved psychology a lot. Didn't it make sense for him to go to university to study it?

I brought it up when we were walking through school together. "You should apply for university." was all I said, hardly forcing him. He looked shocked, freezing in his step as his eyes thinned.

"Don't start," He already seemed irritated and I had literally just said one sentence. I didn't know it was going to cause an argument. "I get enough from my parents."

"I'm just saying. You're really smart and love psychology. It just makes sense."

"I don't care if it makes sense. You know I don't want to go to uni..."

"But, Lance, you're going to get some really good grades and it would be a waste if-"

"For fuck's sake," Lance growled, setting off walking again but much more hastily. I walked as fast as I could to catch up to him but I wish I hadn't because he just turned and sent me a glare that could have had the ability to murder somebody. "Why doesn't anybody listen to me? Even my goddamn boyfriend. I know what I want."

"I didn't mean to annoy..." I trailed off as I realised he was out of hearing distance. My mouth fell open as I just stared at his small figure in the distance, wondering what had made him so irritable.

It's not like university was a touchy subject. I loved talking about university and was so excited. I had already looked up all the information about studying physics at Oxford and Cambridge and I had started filling out all my applications. I talked about it a lot to my teachers to ensure I got in extra work to hit my high target grades. Lance hated talking about university and, as far as I knew, he hadn't even thought about the applications.

I frowned. I was being egocentric. Not everyone loved education.

-

Lance was seriously overreacting. He wasn't answering any of my messages and didn't meet me the next day at school. When we passed in the halls, he blanked me but I wasn't going to take any of it. On the way out of school, I spotted his tall body through the large crowds and rushed towards it. I poked his shoulder and he turned around with furrowed eyebrows. "Hey, look, I'm sorry for bringing university up. I didn't realise it was a touchy subject." I said, raising my voice slightly so I could be heard over the commotion of the crowd.

"It's fine, honestly." He muttered. That didn't explain why he was avoiding me like the plague. I couldn't help but wonder if there was something else bothering him that he hadn't told me about.

"Are you sure? You've been ignoring me."

"I haven't. I have had a crazy day. I was with our maths teacher at lunch so I couldn't meet you. And I got here early to revise for my psychology exam."

"Oh." Well, now I looked like the paranoid, possessive boyfriend.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's alright. I actually thought you hated me for a moment." I added a fake laugh just so I looked slightly more relaxed than I felt. He slipped his hand into mine and swung our arms. It made me feel slightly less tense.

"I could never hate you and you know that!"

In my heart, I did but that didn't stop me from worrying.

-

On Wednesdays, Lance stopped coming to the library at lunch completely. He didn't really tell me where he was going, he just stopped showing up and I noticed the pattern. I didn't mind much because alone time was nice every once in a while. I just stuck my headphones in and did any homework I needed to do or just listened to the songs.

On Wednesday fifth period, we had maths together and Lance never mentioned it. I didn't either until one day when he looked particularly fed up. I leaned over and I mumbled, "Where do you go at lunch?"

He shrugged, picking up his pen and clicking it a few times. I could see his leg bouncing up and down beneath the table too. I watched him closely, noticing the nervous tics of biting his lip, moving a lot and fiddling. "Okay," He started when he realised I was trying to stare him down. "I go to extra maths lessons. I get help."

"Oh." I don't know what I expected but it certainly wasn't that.

"Not everyone is as smart as you," Ouch. He didn't sound like he was being spiteful but his words sure connoted something negative. I wasn't sure if he was trying to insult me. "Shit, that was mean... I think? I'm sorry."

"It's alright," I glanced up to ensure the teacher wasn't watching us. As always, he was sat at his desk, not paying attention at all. He seemed focused on a piece of paper which was probably a Sudoku puzzle or something. I bet he wouldn't have even noticed if I got up and started to run around screaming but I wasn't about to test out my theory. "I can help you too if you want."

Lance clicked his pen again. Click. Click. Click. If he wasn't my best friend and boyfriend, I'd have told him to stop because it was one of the most annoying sounds on earth (more annoying than my singing voice). "It's okay. I don't want to bother you." A student sitting in front of us turned around and glared at Lance so he reluctantly dropped his pen onto the table.

"You won't be. You know I love maths and I love you. I wouldn't mind at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Certain. I can help you after school whenever."

"Okay. Thanks, Keith."

"It's alright, dude."

-

That was how I ended up his tutor. It wasn't the easiest thing to be both a tutor and a boyfriend because there were so many distractions. On Lance's table lay his textbook, open on a page about derivatives. I don't think Lance even knew what the word meant because he was reading the definition with the most confused look on his face. It was almost amusing. "I'll work you through one question, alright?"

Nodding, Lance flipped open his exercise book to a fresh page. So that we could both get a good view of the book, I was squished up right next to him. Our sides were touching and I was trying my best to hold the butterflies back in my chest. I read the question aloud, tracing it with the tip of my finger so it was easier for Lance to follow along.

"That sounds like gibberish to me," Lance muttered, making me smile ever so softly.

"It isn't. What it's asking isn't actually that complicated."

"I can't do this," He sat back in his chair, folding his arms and glaring up at the ceiling. I could feel how tense he was beside me which didn't make sense since the question was rather basic. It was one of the first things we had learnt right at the beginning of the year. "It's so hard and where the hell am I meant to use this in the future?" Lance started to tap his fingers against the table, staring ahead instead of at the textbook.

"In the exam... to get your grade..."

"You're such a smartass."

"I know I am but I'm trying to help you." I started to explain the question to him, step by step whilst he remained silent. I could tell he was pissed off. I was trying to make the answer sound as basic as possible but he continued to stare at me with an extremely puzzled expression on his face.

By the end of the night, he had done a few questions on his own and gotten them correct which I'd call a success. If you asked him, he could tell you what finding a derivative involved with some confidence and he was able to complete some questions on it. I couldn't even begin to explain how short his attention span was (at one point he got so bored he started talking about where he had gotten his pencil case from) but he was trying and that was what was important.

"Thank you!" He exclaimed, standing just outside my front door. It was quite dark for 7pm so we were waiting for his mum to come and pick him up. We were staring out at the road, watching a random car pass every so often until his mum pulled up. I was just going to wave him goodbye but he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I stumbled back a little but soon melted into the kiss.

"Bye bye..." I mumbled, stuck in a stupid daze as I watched him walk down my driveway.