Chapter 15. Hallucinations

New Text To: Stiles <3

I'm on my way out the door now, be at Derek's in a few.

My fingers hastily tapped across the screen of my phone as I rushed around in my room in search of my bag. I dropped my mom off at the hospital and returned home so I could find my purse, and Scott took his motorcycle to go and see Gerard with Allison. Stiles wanted to go and get information from Peter and Cora about Derek and his sudden disapparance, but in order for me to do that I needed to drive over there. I don't know why I didn't just let Stiles pick me up, like he offered to do about ten times before I finally snapped at him. I've been being entirely too moody lately.

"Screw it," I muttered as I flicked my light off and trudged out of my room, I don't need my bag all that much anyway. If I get pulled over and don't have my license I'll pull an emotional break down card and hopefully get out of that ticket. I don't have the patience to put up with crap like this right now.

The sound of the phone ringing echoed up the staircase and I groaned to myself as I increased my pace so I could pick it up, but before I could it went to voice-mail and the recording started to play on the answering machine. "You've reached the McCall's! We currently are unable to take your call right now, but if you want to leave a message so we can call you back that would be awesome!" My mom's voice played on the tape, and then silence ensued.

With a raised brow I took a step closer, but then that chanting started. The one that was on the phone in the music room that Lydia had found. It was getting louder and without thinking my hand shot out and I snatched the phone up, pressing it to my ear frantically.

"Hello?"

"Kasey?" My eyes widened when I recognized his voice. My dad's voice. Again, I panicked, and I slammed the phone back down on the receiver. What the actual hell is he doing calling our house? I blinked rapidly as I shook my head from side to side. It wasn't real. He didn't call. It's getting harder to breathe and I know that I'm just over-reacting. I need to calm down. It wasn't him. My mind is just playing tricks on me, that's all.

The sound of glass shattering in the kitchen drew my attention from my distress over my piece of shit father. My head snapped up in the direction as I swallowed dryly, oh this isn't good. Come on, Kasey, just walk in there. You can do this. My steps were pain-stakingly slow as I headed in the direction of the kitchen, my right hand gripping the pen that I had snatched off the table of the receiver tightly. I took a deep breath as I called out, "Hello?"

"Kasey?"

I let out a sigh of relief at the sound of Stiles' voice answered me. Oh thank god. I walked into the kitchen, chuckling as I realized I was just being over dramatic. "You wouldn't believe--" I froze as I came face to face with myself. My eyes widened as I took her in, her eyes were bloodshot and she had a slash across her throat that was oozing blood down the front of her white shirt.

She turned her head to the side as she studied me, "What's wrong with you?" Her voice sounded like Stiles' voice. My hand flew up to my mouth as I slowly backed away, but before I could get out of the kitchen my feet seemed to glue themselves to the tile. I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to get this image out of my head, this isn't real. This isn't real. This can't be happening.

"Kasey, look at me!"

I started to cry as I shook my head from side to side, "You're not real. This isn't real." I mumbled to myself, trying to get this mirage out of my kitchen. Why does she sound like him? Why does she look like me? This shouldn't be happening. I'm dreaming. This is just some really sick and twisted nightmare, that's the only explanation.

"HELP ME!"

He sounded so distressed that I had to open my eyes, and the girl that seemed identical to myself was now indeed Stiles. He was laying on the floor, blood surrounding him. I wanted to help him, but I couldn't move. I was frozen. He isn't here, right? No. He's at Derek's... I'm just seeing things. The blood on the floor seemed to seep out more and more and it was now touching the tops of my shoes.

I can't breathe. I'm sucking in too much air and I am getting light headed. Oh god, not now. Please not now. Again, I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to think of moments in my life where I was happy and safe, but the only thing I can see is Stiles laying on the floor bleeding to death. My chest feels like it's on fire and I nearly fall to the ground as I continue to suck in rapid breaths.

Stumbling I make my way out of the kitchen and into the hallway, "It's not real." I gasped out as I tried to calm myself down. God, this was so much easier when I had Stiles with me. I can't unsee his lifeless body there, laying on my kitchen floor.

"Kaseyyyyyy," I started to hyperventilate as his voice sang my name mockingly. Oh my god what is happening to me?

My chest was heaving up and down as I tugged at my hair trying to get the hell out of my house, but I fell to the floor by the phone. My knees hit the wood forcefully and I let out a shriek of pain as my hands scrambled to get the phone, dialing the only number that my mind could comprehend at the moment.

"Hello?" Lydia's voice answered in a questioning tone. I have no idea why I am calling her, we are not friends nor do I think she will help me-- but for some reason my fingers dialed her number before anyone else's.

"Lydia, help me." I sobbed as I started to suck in more air. I could hear Stiles continuing to sing my name in the kitchen and the room felt like it was spinning. I'm losing my mind. My brain is literally splitting and all of my sane qualities are being shattered.

"Kasey what's wrong?" She asked quickly, panic seeping from her words.

I couldn't say anything else. I was now screaming as I tried to crawl towards the front door, but I was just furiously clawing at the rug beneath the table. Why can't I move? Why is this happening to me?

My entire body felt as if it were on fire, and I knew that there was no stopping this anxiety attack from completely taking over. I can't breathe, there is entirely too much pressure on my chest and my eyes are watering, blurring my vision. Stiles voice was still ringing in my ears and I placed my hands over them and continued to scream so I didn't have to hear it anymore.

"WAKE UP!" I screamed at myself, tears pouring out of my eyes and bile rising in the back of my throat. I can't do this! Something is wrong with me, and I can't stop it.

My sobbing and screaming was cut short when I felt a sharp pain on my throat. I quickly moved my hand to the spot that was stinging and when I touched the skin I felt a warm liquid and a gash. I was shaking as I pulled my hand back to examine what the liquid had been, only to see that familiar scarlet of blood.

Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm dying. This is the end for me. I am going to bleed out and not a single person will be able to save me. I don't understand why this is happening to me or how this is even happening, but there is no denying that I will be dead in a matter of seconds. Just like the mirage of Stiles in the kitchen.

Banging on the door snapped me out of my thoughts, "KASEY! KASEY OPEN THE DOOR!" Lydia shouted frantically, before she realized that the door wasn't unlocked and she fell into my house. When she caught sight of me she rushed over and started shaking my shoulders violently. How is she not freaking out from the blood?

"Kasey snap out of it!" She yelled and slapped me across the face, hard.

I blinked rapidly before my vision cleared, when I glanced at my hands I noticed there was no blood. My hands shot up to my throat, it was wound free. What? No. I had just been bleeding... it was real. I struggled out of Lydia's hold and crawled to the doorway of the kitchen, and sure enough-- Stiles body and the large puddle of blood was gone. No. That doesn't make any sense.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You scared the absolute hell out of me!" Lydia shrieked as she stood up and straightened her dress out.

This doesn't make any sense... it was all here. I saw it. Oh my god there is something seriously wrong with me. That doesn't make any sense, at all.

"Are you not going to talk to me?" She snapped in annoyance.

I shakily pushed myself off of the floor and turned around to face her, "Lydia there is something wrong with me."

"Tell me again why we aren't calling Scott or Stiles about this?" Lydia asked me as she sped down the dark road, heading towards the veterinary office of Deaton.

I have no idea what the hell had just happened to me, but maybe he would have answers. I can't ever go through that again, whatever it was. I know that it wasn't a connection because Stiles just texted me asking me if I was on my way yet. So I know he is okay.

That entire situation was all of my worst fears coming to life. My dad trying to come back into my life. Stiles being killed while I just stand there helpless, and then I myself get killed. It was entirely too much for me to handle, and I know that I will not be able to survive another episode like that.

"Because I don't want to worry them right now. They are getting answers about Derek, and the second that I say something is wrong with with me they will drop that and rush over. We need these answers." I sighed as I rubbed at my eyes. They were sore from my severe crying earlier.

I don't know why I am bringing Lydia along with me, just like I have no idea why I called her in the first place. My brain obviously had other ideas about who my ICE contact was, because it sure as hell wouldn't of been Lydia.

"Do you want to talk about what happened? I mean... you haven't exactly said why you called me." She stated awkwardly, I knew I should have turned the radio on so there wasn't a tension filled silence. Obviously my brain is fried at the moment, because normally that's my first reaction when I get into a car.

"I don't know why I called you. And no, I don't want to talk about it." I muttered as I glanced out the window, watching the passing trees with tired eyes.

Tonight has certainly taken a turn for the worst, that's for damn sure.

"How do you not know why you called me? You dialed my number, so you were very much aware of who you were calling." She pointed out, clearly perturbed by the entire situation.

That's all it took for me to lose my shit, "You know what Lydia? Pull the damn car over then, I am so sorry that I inconvenienced your night. Go ahead and let me get out so you can get back to having sex with Aiden or painting your nails. I just had the absolute worst night of my life and nearly had to be hospitalized because of a damn anxiety attack, but that obviously means nothing to you since you weren't the one being affected by it!"

To my surprise she did pull the car over, and I was about to fling my door open so I could walk the rest of the way, but before I could she put the child safety locks on and prevented me from getting out. I clenched my jaw as I turned my head to face her, "Unlock the freaking door."

"No. Tell me what happened back at your house." She argued as she shot me a half-smirk. God, I can't even deal with this right now.

"You have three seconds to unlock this damn door or so help me God--"

She held her hand up to silence me, "I know that we aren't exactly friends, but I do care about what is happening with you. We are somehow connected in this weird way, and I want to help, but in order for me to do that, you need to tell me what happened."

"I don't want your help." I snapped in annoyance. Never in a million years did I think I would be having a heart to heart with Lydia Martin in the middle of the night pulled over on the side of the freeway in the drizzling rain about our odd psychic bond between us because we were both attacked by a werewolf.

Lydia quirked an eyebrow, "You needed me to drive you here... that would qualify as needing my help."

"You know what, I'm just gonna break your window." I stated as I unbuckled my seat belt and lifted my elbow to attempt to break the glass, but before I could she grabbed my arm and pushed my back against the seat roughly.

I opened my mouth to start shouting at her but she beat me to it, "Listen to me, Kasey, and I mean really listen. I did not ask for this. I did not ask to be what I am or to have some weird bond with you, I did not ask for you to call me tonight, and I did not ask to deal with your obvious trust and abandonment issues."

"I don't have trust and abandonment issues," I growled defensively. I did though, but how did she know that? How are they obvious?

She rolled her eyes and squeezed my arm tighter in her hold, her manicured fingernails were now pressing firmly against my still burning skin, "That's not what we're discussing right now. Just tell me what happened at your house."

"It's none of your business, get off of me." I deflected her question and began to squirm in her hold, she was a lot stronger than I gave her credit for and she was making me extremely uncomfortable.

"Fine," she huffed as she let go of my arm and returned to her seat, "don't tell me. I'll just wait until you explain it all to Deaton." She remarked hatefully as she started the car back up and pulled on to the road.

I climbed out of Lydia's car and slammed the door with more force than necessary after she parked in the lot of the vet's office. I was stressed out and needed answers before I strangle somebody, i.e. that someone being Lydia.

Stiles has been blowing my phone up, and I have to keep coming up with lame ass excuses as to why I am still not at Derek's. I won't tell him about this incident unless I absolutely have to. The last thing I want is for him to be worrying about me when there are so many other things that he needs to be focused on at the moment.

The sign on the door said closed, but the door wasn't locked, so I wasted no time in opening it. I could hear Lydia muttering curses under her breath as she struggled to keep up with me, that's what happens when you wear heels. The little bell on the door rang, and upon hearing it, Deaton walked out from the back room.

"Kasey, Lydia... what a lovely surprise. Is there something I can help you with?" He asked politely as he pulled off a pair of latex gloves he had been wearing.

I nodded once, "Yeah, how much do you know about Admonere's?"

His eyes widened considerably, "Not much... why? Is something wrong?"

"Yes. Something is very wrong, yet she is refusing to talk about it." Lydia quipped as she flung her arms over her chest in annoyance.

I sent her a sideways glare before focusing my attention back on Deaton, "I had an incident and I think it was related to my abilities in some way, because it has never happened before."

Deaton walked over to the small wooden gate and opened it to allow us access to the back part of the office, where we did most of our supernatural discussions and activities. Lydia huffed as she followed behind us, and I almost regretted asking her to drive me here in the first place.

"Can you tell me what exactly happened with this incident?" He asked curiously as we walked into the examination room. Images of me laying on this table after the night Mrs. Argent tried to kill Scott flashed in my mind, and I had to shake my head to rid myself of the memory.

"I hallucinated... a lot of things." I mumbled awkwardly as I watched him sit down in his small black leather rolly chair. He nodded his head in the direction of the table and I sighed as I clambered on top of it, Lydia stood by the door watching us intently.

Deaton smiled warmly as he tried to console me, "What did you hallucinate?"

"My dad calling the house... Stiles dying... and myself, dying. I actually saw like a clone of myself... it's hard to explain." I breathed out, shuddering at the memories of the incident that took place fifteen minutes prior.

He seemed confused, "I don't quite understand... are you sure you hadn't linked yourself to these people?"

"No. Stiles is okay, and my dad... well it was just his voice that I heard. I was having an anxiety attack too. It was the worst one I've ever had in my life." I admitted, hoping that maybe that could shed some light on the situation.

And it seems that it did because Deaton nodded quickly as something clicked in his head, "Yes, that makes sense. You have had a history of anxiety and anxiety attacks?"

I glanced at Lydia to find her watching me with wide eyes, apparently she had not realized just how serious that situation was, and I hope that she feels guilty for pressing me in the car on the way here.

"Yeah... I've had them ever since I was little. Does that mean something?" I asked him as I adverted my gaze back to him, rather than Lydia.

He nodded once, "I believe I know what is happening. Your ability as an Admonere is to protect, and to warn others... well when you mix in your anxiety and you fear for someone's life, your brain and ability pick up on the receptors and you are literally creating your own accident and injury on someone you care about, and then experiencing linking yourself to them."

What? That just sounds crazy. I stressed myself out so much over Stiles getting hurt that my brain and ability just assumed that he was dying and then I hallucinated it happening so I could experience it? That makes no sense at all. I am so confused, even more so than I had been when Deaton told me that I had a gift.

"So... it was all in my head?" I squeaked, feeling very vulnerable and stupid.

Deaton shook his head from side to side, "No. Well, yes-- it was, but the pain and the wounds you were experiencing were real to you. It's like you made up an alternate world where Stiles was dead."

"Why was he mocking me then? When he was dead he was singing my name." I rushed out, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. This is awful.

"The guilt. You were punishing yourself for letting him die in the worst way you could possibly imagine. Kasey, as long as you stress yourself about peoples lives, this will continue to happen. You need to just take a breath and realize that you are not responsible for keeping them safe." He explained as he gently grabbed my hands in both of his.

I nodded as my gaze fell to the floor sadly, that was never going to happen. It's impossible for me to stop worrying about Stiles and Scott and my mom, I will always worry. And that means that I will always have to deal with these horrid and devastating hallucinations.

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oh my god! it's been so long since i have updated, and i am so sorry for that! i have been so busy with my one direction stuff on my other account and school and my friends and i just haven't had the time / inspiration to write this story, but i sat down and wrote it tonight. i know this has nothing to do with the show and is entirely my plot line, but i was really excited about this and i wanted to put it in the story for reasons that will be revealed soon enough. anyone else ship #lasey, haha their love / hate relationship is so much fun to write about.

let me know what you thought of the chapter, again i am so sorry that it took me nearly a month to update! i feel awful about that. i watched pacific rim today though, and it was really good.. charlie hunnam is so freaking attractive, i mean i knew that already from watching soa but still. okay yeah, fan, vote, and comment! i love hearing from you guys so don't be shy! xxxx

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