They say dreams are reality modified. They say you dream what you most desire. Apparently, in the clouds of unconsciousness and peaceful rest, the choices are infinite and utterly yours. Hidden yearnings shape what shows before your eyelids, or more like, inside your brain. That is the romantic, hopeful explanation of dreams. It doesn't seem to be true at all, at least not for you. Bullshit. If this were the case, why would you crave someone you have never met? Every night, gorgeous blue orbs, only for your enjoyment. Or better yet, why would your nights be plagued with someone you just noticed for the first time? Ivar Lothbrok. He has been in your class since the beginning of the semester, and you just became aware of it. To believe that want him is a joke. Then why is he so, softly looking at you right now, and you instantly melt.

This time, you're not in bed, lazing around in a lover's embrace. Today it's a meadow with greens all over the place. Pretty, small, yellow flowers bloom all around you. The weather is nice- more than nice, it promises sun and warmth. As good as it all is, you're not lying in the greenery, you sit with your back on the bark of a tree. The breeze plays with your hair and right next to you is your lover. You don't look at him, you just know he is there. It's impossible not to feel him, connected, like a string sprouting from your heart. At first, you're calm. You've lived his scenario multiple times before. These precious dreams where the most important thing in life is him. It's surprising, really, that he's with you tonight. More often than not, there are breaks between fantasies. But he's here right now, and you're not complaining. Why would you?

With a hand on your cheek, tenderly, a callous hand traces the path to your chin, and you look up. You are unsure if it has always been him who accompanied you, but Ivar Lothbrok gazes at you with so much amazement and love worthy of a lifetime. It has happened before- it must have. It can't be just a dream. Why do you feel this way if it's only in your head? Unlike other times, you're aware that this might be a fantasy. During previous dreams, you're trapped in a loop of old actions, and memories. You don't know it's all in a modern, centuries-later head. Tonight, you know you're dreaming, it's a fantasy, and you don't care. It feels too real, too perfect, not even the fact that your mystery man has turned into your classmate is enough to deter you. This is meant to be, and you know it. And this time, you have the power to say something. You open your mouth, perhaps to ask a question, maybe to express your love. You shall never know because then you wake up.

It's a mess, really, to discover (once you've gained your bearings) that you can't get him out of your head. What is precisely the meaning of your dreams? Not only the last one, but the ones before then. In the beginning, you used to think it was purely your imagination, but it can't be. It feels too real for that to be the only explanation. Why does your heart feel like breaking and solidifying everything you wake up? As if you're missing something. No, that beautiful love isn't something you can conjure, especially since you have never felt it before. Not awake. It is too real, he is too real. It's almost as if it were a past existence, another life. But is it actually another life, or are you going delusional? Both answers are completely valid. Especially since now that Ivar Lothbrok has won mastery over your dreams. Maybe Buddhism has it right and reincarnation is real.

After encountering Ivar yesterday at your lecture, you could hardly concentrate on anything. With your mind all over the place, you couldn't even pay attention to Thora, much less your school day. The day came and went in a cloud, and there's no chance that you're spending today at the same pace. As such, the only solution is for you to find answers. Whatever the cost, anywhere. Maybe you're exaggerating, but you need to know something, for your sake of mind.

"Look who's awake!" Your foster father, Mr. Andersson, greets you as soon as he sees you coming down from your room.

You've showered and changed, you're sure they've heard from a while ago that you were up. Still, you rarely come down before noon when you don't have school. Today is one of those days. Normally, you would plan on staying in bed a while longer and then perhaps going out with friends in the afternoon. Today you have things to do, and some of them.

"Good morning," you greet Mr. and Mrs. Andersson in their native language. You've become quite proficient in Sweden. "I have to go to the library today, lots of things to research!" You take a seat at the table, and Mrs. Andersson kindly places a plate of eggs in front of you. You thank her.

"Research?" Wonders her husband, "on what? I thought you didn't have classes today." He says this, not in an accusatory tone, but simply curious.

"I don't, but that doesn't mean teachers don't love homework."

Mrs. Andersson smiles sweetly, "always the hardworking one."

Breakfast with your foster family goes smoothly, as usual. Sooner than you know, you're biking at full speed towards the university campus. The best library that you know it's the one inside the University of Uppsala. It has vast knowledge on many topics, including things probably too out of the ordinary. You're hoping to find clues there. Perhaps not the truth behind your dreams, but at least something to ease your mind a bit. The weather is surprisingly warm as you park by the door.

The library is, as always, big and tranquil. Although most students come here for its intended purpose, some just seek the calmness to take a nap or read leisurely. Your research trip first takes you to the religions section. There, you try to find anything on reincarnation. Many cultures take on the subject interestingly, but it's all too rooted in their beliefs. You don't find much about dreams or anchors from past lives. More specifically, you don't find why you only appear to have onepast life. Religions like Buddhism take on the reliance that many lifetimes help achieve glorious enlightenment over time. You don't feel this is exactly what you're going for, so you keep searching.

For some reason, your feet bring you to the history section. More specifically, the Scandinavian history books. Something that you've read previously rings in the back of your mind. You didn't pay attention to it then but now you can't help to reminisce. It was... somewhere around here... in the Viking's golden era. Quick enough, you find what you're looking for.

When you were in your first semester of the university, you took this subject that delved into Viking's teachings. It was mostly about beliefs and culture; general knowledge. Sometimes, however, you studied prominent historical figures, such as Leif Eriksson... or Ivar The Boneless. Back then, you didn't retain much information on him because you were too preoccupied with adapting to a new country, yet one thing about him stuck with you the most —his love for his wife.

The woman, whose name you cannot remember -perhaps it wasn't mentioned?- supported him through all of his hardships. Together they became powerful rulers in Scandinavia, but more than that, it was said that King Ivar's biggest happiness was his wife. He built castles for her and conquered part of England in her name. You recall girls swooning when they heard that. The book said they had many healthy babies, despite the nasty rumors of Ivar's incapability. It also said that they died quite tragically, but you can't remember how.

You pull out the reading which you believe will be most beneficial on the subject. You don't know why your brain went back to Ivar the Boneless after only hearing his name once and years ago. Is it because the name resembles that of your classmate? Or is it because sometimes you see Viking ships in your dreams? Whatever it is, you don't get to learn more about the Viking warrior because it is then that you see him.

Ivar Lothbrok is beautiful, and there is no denying it. He's sitting a few tables over with his head buried in a thick book. His slightly long hair is styled in a low ponytail, and he has a slight beard on his face. The man in your dreams used to carry himself with a crutch, you don't know why, but you're sure of it. Ivar Lothbrok doesn't need any aide to walk. Maybe you're just seeing things where they aren't. You're still looking at him when he raises his head and catches your eye.

"What are you looking at?" He inquires rudely, almost annoyed.

The tone takes you by surprise, so, for a moment, you don't respond. It's clear he has caught you gazing at him, but why must he sound so unpleasant? Ivar was so nice in your dream, but of course, it was just a dream.

"Excuse me?" Your voice is meek in comparison to his. There are no fireworks or recognition anywhere as your eyes clash.

"You heard me, mind your own business!" Never has someone has been so rude to you.

The color in your cheeks rises, and you briefly consider leaving him alone, but why should you? When you did nothing wrong. "I am minding my business, you are the one who talked to me first!" Perhaps you're just confusing the man of your dreams; a fantasy, with Ivar Lothbrok.

A group of students a few tables over raise their heads at your discussion. "Because you're looking at me." His reasoning seems childish and borderline stupid, is he for real?

"I was unaware it was illegal or something, dick." You're one step away from walking up to him and hit him.

Ivar narrows his eyes at you, stands up with the book in hand, and says. "Careful of what you say," your name rolls off his tongue easily. You're too surprised by the fact that he knows you to utter a comeback as he walks away. The students that were watching the interaction go back to what they were doing.

What just happened? You remember how he softly looked at you in your dream, and you know this cannot be the same man. Without a second thought, you place back the Vikings history book on the shelf and walk to the library's exit. Maybe you truly are losing your head over things that aren't there. Reincarnation, yeah, right.