It was now 11:53, according to my watch; I still hadn't found the Magic Mirror, even though I had searched in every nook where it might possibly have settled.  At this point, though, I couldn't care less where it went.  I was keeping too close a watch on the road, eyes peeled for the Rolls-Royce to come save me from a decision I knew deep down in my heart that I would regret.  Everybody deserves a chance, I kept saying to myself, combating the ubiquitous, choking vines that had sprouted from Dr. C's wretched seeds of doubt. 

At the same time, I couldn't see this ending any other way.  It was just like in my dream, when I chose the Relic; I never had the chance to see what would happen had I jumped in after Freddie instead. Not that dreams predicted the future, of course.  Perhaps the products of REM did indeed provide a little insight into the soul's inner troubles, but where the future was concerned, dreams were just as valid in their predictions as fortune cookies.

Only K and C knew how this would end.  And only after I made my decision, would I know as well.

I turned away from the upstairs window, came back down.  I wasn't crying any longer.   My eyes were still a little red, but I had stopped crying for now.  Tears never did me any good; and that was just as true today as ever before. 

Whatever the outcome, I was ready. I had already remade Freddie's bed, and took care of whatever untidiness remained.  In one hand I held the Relic, in the other I had my goodbye letter.  My journal, Polaroid, and Passport were in my backpack, along with a couple of unfinished, petty assignments.  Didn't that just figure. Two weeks off from university, and I had spent none of it in finishing my homework.

The lovely earrings Rudy had given me were in their velvet pouch on top of my ivory white dress in the spare room.  I was leaving them in London.  As beautiful as these and all the other gifts had been, I had already made up my mind I would take nothing back home.  Too many people stole from Freddie, took advantage of his generosity.  I would not join their ranks, or give Freddie the reason to align me with them, which was a high risk if I returned home with anything he had given me.

Oscar wouldn't let me out of his sight.  All the way down the stairs he strutted so close against my leg he nearly tripped me.  With a sigh, I knelt down.

"Why are you so underfoot today?" I asked him.  "If you're lonely, I can put you outside, all your friends are out there."

But Oscar mewed and walked around me in a tight circle, pressing his head close as he moved.  Call me crazy, but the green eyes seemed pleading when they looked up at me. 

He knows, I said to myself.  My imagination might be running away with me, but I really think Oscar knows something big is about to happen.

I scratched behind his ears, coaxing a soft, vibrating purr from the orange tabby's throat.  "Do you want me to stay?" I murmured.  "Is that what you want, baby?"

I picked him up and cradled him in my arms, rubbing his soft white tummy.  With a sigh, I nodded.  "I'll miss you, you old slob.  It just won't be the same, waking up in the morning without sneezing because of your furry arse two inches away from my nose."

I set Oscar down again and looked around the flat.  It was true.  I'd miss everything about this place.  There were so many memories made within these four walls- most of them sweet, a few that were truly hideous, but all unforgettable.  And I had covered so much ground in just two weeks.  It seemed I'd been everywhere-  London, Las Vegas, New York City, even a brief lark on Solsbury Hill- and done everything.  And yet, I felt I'd still only scratched the surface, explored only the tip of the iceberg. 

It was strange; while I instinctively knew my days in 1977 were drawing to an inevitable close, somehow I also had this feeling that my time with Freddie was anything but over.  I couldn't explain it- save that I perhaps was only trying to rationalize leaving the one man I had ever given the power to break my heart.  Would I break his by leaving?  Not according to Dr. C- although mine was already broken again and I had not yet even left.

He could have been lying, I said to myself again.  I promised Mary, and he is meeting David tonight, but I could be wrong- and C could have been lying.  Oh, God.  If only there was a way to know!

"Hurry, up, Rudy," I whispered shakily.  "You have five minutes."

So saying, I put the letter on the piano, leaning it against Yin and Yang.  Nervously I drew my Polaroid out, stared at it so hard I felt myself go cross-eyed for a second.  Then I set the picture on the piano's music rest, and sat down on the bench.

After a moment, my eyes still on the picture, I began to tap out the melody to the "Julia Song."  Quietly I wondered what the words would become now that I was the inspiration for what once was called "Jealousy."  I sang the old lyrics aloud, my voice whispery with emotion:

Oh, how wrong can you be?
Oh, to fall in love
Was my very first mistake.
How was I to know
I was far too much in love to see?
Oh...

Jealousy, look at me now
Jealousy, you got me somehow
You gave me no warning,
Took me by surprise.
Jealousy, you led me on.
You couldn't lose, you couldn't fail;
You had suspicion on my trail.
How, how, how? All my jealousy-
I wasn't man enough to let you hurt my pride;
Now I'm only left with my own jealousy.

Oh how strong can you be
With matters of the heart?
Life is much too short
To while away with tears.
If only you could see
Just what you do to me...

Jealousy, you tripped me up.
Jealousy, you brought me down.
You bring me sorrow, you cause me pain.
Jealousy, when will you let go?
Gotta hold of my possessive mind,
Turned me into a jeal-

I stopped singing, took my hands off the keys.

Wait a second.

I hadn't really thought about the words too much before now.  They were tragically beautiful, of course- I didn't see them as anything less than gorgeous.  And in efforts to explain Freddie, I used to contemplate what had happened to conjure them in the first place.  "Love of My Life" was for Mary, and either "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy" or "You Take My Breath Away" belonged to David (I'm inclined to believe it was the former, though). However, no one ever made any speculations about this song, and anyway, Freddie would dismiss every inquiry about song meanings with the same ambiguous answer: "If you see it, then it's there." 

Even its position on Jazz seemed to make it a less outstanding, though still lovely, sort of afterthought- almost a joke, if you will.  It was situated between "Fat-Bottomed Girls" and "Bicycle Race"- two obnoxiously unromantic songs that totally eclipsed the sweet melancholy that separated them.  There were no clues as to who, or what, or why- and without clues, there was nowhere to go as far as explanation is concerned.  So "Jealousy" was always a losing battle.

But at that moment, something in the lyrics affected me like it never had before.  I couldn't put my finger on it for the life of me.  All I knew was it felt familiar.

And it felt personal.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to find out what was bothering me.  My thoughts were interrupted...

Bip bi bip BEEP BEEP Bip bi bip BEEP BEEP...

The final call.

My tracker was blue.  I looked at my watch.  11:57.  I broke into a cold sweat.  THEY'RE EARLY!

The Relic still ringing, I ran to the window and looked wildly for the Silver Shadow, but the roads were clear.  Rudy still thought he had three minutes.  These guys were so tricky, calling early, they promised me I had until noon!  Three minutes can make all the difference in the world!  Oh, God, what to do, what to do?

But I knew the answer to that.  I didn't like the answer, but there wasn't much I could do about it.  In fact, there was nothing I could do about it- but I wouldn't realize that until later.  What mattered was now.

And now, I chose.

At the last second, I pushed the green button.

"Hello," I croaked.

"Julia?" K sounded unsure.

"Yes."

"I guess you've made your choice," C cut in quickly.  "Or else you wouldn't have picked up."

"Yeah.  I- guess I did."  I brushed a single tear off my cheek.

"Steve, you were right; she is a bright one," C said approvingly.  "Okay, Julia, get ready, we're locking onto your loc-"

"C, wait," I gasped.  I had an idea.  One last hope had struck.

He huffed.  "There's no time for this."

I didn't care.  Now I knew.  There was a way to find out if he was lying to me.  It was morbid, and sad, and horrible, but it would tell me everything- tell me whether a new future had dawned because of the past fourteen days. 

"C, tell me when Freddie died."

C blinked.  "When... Freddie Mercury died?"

"Yeah," I nodded impatiently. 

"Why?  Are you gonna tell him?"

"NO!  He's not even here right now!  I just need to know!"

"Okay, fine!" K chimed in.  "I'll look it up, one second."

The Butterfly Effect, I told myself, crossing my fingers.  Change one thing in one person's life, you change the world.  Our lives are the results of irreversible choices we make.  Surely he's going to live longer, if I've made any impact!  I mean, considering Vegas, Melancholy Blues, the Promise- just me even speaking to him, breathing the same air, when I was never meant to be there!  Surely things have changed! 

At last K spoke up.  "Okay.  It says here that, um..."

I wanted to scream.  Now was not the time to be sluggish.  OUT WITH IT, K!  OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT!

"He died," K announced, "in 19- yeah.  1991.  24th of November, 1991."

I closed my eyes, sank to the floor.

No.  Oh, Sweet Jesus, no...

Nothing had changed.  New Freddie was still Old Freddie, the product of the same bad decisions, the same empty life, the same beautiful but tragic soul.  The rich legacy, the rampant hedonism, the wild and crazy guy with a shy interior, whose eyes seemed to cry out from within for a little understanding.  I had made no impact whatsoever.

And our love, Freddie's and mine, was doomed.

Oh, God, help me- and Freddie, my sweet prince, my Mr. J, and love of my life...

Forgive me for what I'm about to do.

"Julia?" C spurred.  "You there?"

I opened my eyes and set my jaw.

"Get me out of here." 

C breathed a sigh of relief.  "We've already locked on.  It's all on you, Stu."

I could feel new tears rising up under my lids. "Get me out now.  Quick."

"We're working on it!  The light should be green."

I looked down.  My eyes were already quite watery but I could see the light change to lime green.  "Should I push it yet?"

"Not till you feel the shocks.  Like before.  This may hurt a little worse than before."

"Probably not," I murmured.  "I've done an awful lot of hurting lately.  This can't be any w-"

That's when the shocks coursed through me, coming from the tracker.  I screamed, clenching the Relic for dear life.  Too late I realized I would be leaving my lost Magic Mirror here in the past, but honestly, I didn't feel like getting upset.  My flesh was too busy searing with electric pain.

"Push it!" K called.  "Now!"

And the moment I forced my aching fingers to push the button behind the tracker, I heard something.

It was the front door.

Opening.

11:59 A.M.

Rudy had arrived.

At the top of my lungs, I shouted a panicked "NO, NO, STOP-"

And then the world opened up from below and swallowed me in a dark nothingness.