THE HARDEST PART about being human is being granted the ability to feel every range of emotions on a fickle spectrum that is always prone to change whenever it so pleases. Being human means being gifted the chance to feel happiness in its extreme, the kind of bursting, energetic light that is ignited from within.

But being human also means coping with unspeakable pain. Soul crushing pain, pain that you can literally feel pushing you deeper into the abyss.

You have a precarious choice when you are human. That choice is whether you decide to live or die. Because when you're human, you are capable of taking your own life, if you so please. Nothing in the world can interpret or fully explain the hurt one feels when they are prepared to die by their own hands.

But sometimes, it is the absence in their hands that leads to the killing. It's the spaces that could be filled and the lack thereof which leads them to do it. And when another hand decidedly fills those spaces, closing around them and holding tightly, it makes a difference in happiness and heartbreak.

In light and dark.

In life and death.

_________

Lindy was sitting beside Kurt, her hand still tucked inside of his, having never let go of it since they had both left the greenhouse earlier that day.

Now, they were seated in the living room of his Lake Washington home. The entire house was freezing cold, totally void of any heat. Cali had apparently not been proactive in the upkeep of the house. There was not even a morsel of food for anyone to snack on while they waited.

Of course, Lindy would have preferred that she and Kurt be anywhere but there. After what they had gone through that morning, they were both emotionally and physically exhausted. She could not decide who was more drained — her or Kurt.

They both had the appearance of two people who had perhaps escaped a mental asylum. Between the bags beneath Lindy's eyes and Kurt's pasty white skin, Lindy wondered how it was possible that they were both still functioning after the ordeal that they had been through.

The only thing keeping her consciously aware that they had left the greenhouse was Kurt's hand in hers. Every now and then, he would squeeze gently, a silent reminder that he had not left her. She appreciated every gesture made that proved to her that Kurt was indeed alive. As much as she wanted to rejoice in this, she could barely stand on her feet. All she wanted to do was lay down in bed with him and fall asleep with her head on his chest, right next to the spot where she could his heartbeat.

In front of them sat an odd lineup of guests who had come over to the house hours beforehand. Cali was of course present, having been at the house when Lindy had dragged Kurt through the front door after towing him away from the greenhouse. The ex-nanny looked nervous as he chewed his thumbnail, avoiding Lindy's eyes. Lindy had the feeling that he was anxious to see how Courtney would react to the present situation.

Krist had come over as well, but he'd left Shelli behind, knowing that when Courtney finally arrived it would be better if Shelli were absent. He was sitting close to Lindy and Kurt, staring at them both with an expression of awe as he bounced his legs up and down in his seat.

In front of the couple next to Cali was Kurt's lawyer, Rosemary Carroll. Kurt had insisted she be called, but so far he had not contacted any of the other business professionals in his world. He only seemed to trust Rosemary with the knowledge of what had happened that day.

Now all that was left was Courtney, who had yet to arrive with the nanny and Frances. Everyone sat in silence while they waited. A meeting was to be held concerning Kurt and what could be done to avoid another attempt. Nothing had been outright stated about what Kurt had almost done that morning, but everyone had an easy time taking their fair share of guesses of how they had almost lost him.

There was the quiet sound of Kurt's small sigh, which caused Lindy to glance at him out of the corner of her eye. He was looking down at the floor, but she could feel his fingers tightening in hers. She wished that they could have talked privately. The whole day had been a slew of madness and they had not had their chance to be alone. But Lindy refused to ask for more than what she'd already been given. She was grateful for one thing only, and that was Kurt's life having been preserved.

Everyone's ears perked when the front door opened, followed by the cacophony of Courtney's voice and bags being dragged inside of the house. Lindy clenched her front teeth down on her lip when she heard Courtney's shout.

"Where is he? Get him to me, NOW!"

Nobody moved a muscle in the living room. They all waited, hands folded in laps as Courtney's footsteps grew closer and closer. But she was not the first to appear in the living room in front of the assemblage of guests.

It was Frances Bean who came teetering in first, running into the living room with her round blue eyes that rivaled those of her father's. She was dressed in a coat and wobbling on her feet with obvious hurry. She had been promised that she would be seeing her daddy that night and she was obviously determined to find him.

Frances was every bit as beautiful as Kurt had described. The little girl standing in front of Lindy was without a doubt Kurt's child through and through, from the curve of her nose to her startling azure gaze. She was a tiny, angelic creature with wispy brown hair that fell over her forehead and Cupid's bow lips pursed with curiosity.

As soon as Kurt saw her, he unclenched his hand from Lindy's for the first time that day and fell to his knees, opening his arms wide.

"Frances!" he said, his voice thick with relief and gratitude over being reunited with his daughter. He kissed her face as she squealed, lifting her into his arms and bringing her back over to the couch. Lindy felt a small smile cross her face. For the first time ever, she was watching Kurt interact with his baby girl. This alone made the pain of what she had gone through that day worth it.

Kurt sat next to Lindy, balancing Frances in his lap. Frances touched his face with one of her slight hands, overjoyed to be with her father, but her attention became hooked on to Lindy.

She analyzed Lindy with great interest, seeming pleased with having a new face to study. She looked back to Kurt, who leaned in to murmur in her ear.

"That's Lindy. Can you wave to Lindy?"

Frances looked right back into Lindy's eyes and then lifted her hand and flapped it in what Lindy could only guess was her toddler version of a wave. Lindy laughed softly and waved back, smiling a truly happy smile for the first time that day.

"You fucker!"

Courtney's entrance severed the precious moment exchanged between Kurt, Frances and Lindy. She stomped forward with a look of fury blazing on her face. The only person that she focused on was Kurt, forgetting that the room was filled with other people. Including Lindy.

"Courtney . . ." Rosemary began nervously, moving to Courtney's side and lightly touching her shoulder.

"No! Enough! He has put me through absolute fucking hell and I should kill him for it!" Courtney yelled, swatting Rosemary's hand away.

Kurt snorted and half-rolled his eyes, glaring away from Courtney with contempt. It was probably not his best idea, for Courtney's nostrils flared and Lindy swore that she saw flames dance behind her sea-foam green irises.

"Let's just stay calm, shall we?" Rosemary pleaded, inserting herself between Courtney and Kurt before a full on brawl could ensue. "We can talk about what happened but we've got to do it calmly."

Courtney scowled at this suggestion, but was quick to find a new victim to scrutinize when she finally took notice of Lindy sitting on the couch next to her daughter and husband. A fresh swell of anger rose within her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Courtney spat.

Lindy had told herself to never be afraid of Courtney and her phony wrath, but in that moment, she felt a twinge of fear while staring up at the blonde-haired woman. Courtney was tall and lean and would have easily had no problem wrestling Lindy to the ground if she really wanted to. She was everything that Lindy had pictured her to be in person, from the pouty red lips to the fray of white blonde hair sticking out around her face.

"Courtney, fuck off," Kurt said, rushing to Lindy's defense with vehemence.

"Both of you shut up!" Rosemary said sharply. "Have you forgotten that Frances is right in front of you?"

The mention of Frances Bean, who was still curled in Kurt's lap, seemed to snap Kurt out of his aversion to Courtney. In fact, guilt overcame him as he understood that he had broken his promise to never fight with Courtney in front of Frances. He sank lower against the couch cushions.

"I want answers. I want answers now," Courtney commanded. She retrieved a cigarette out of a white box pulled from her coat pocket, lighting it and sticking it between her lipstick smeared mouth.

"Jackie, take Frances," Kurt instructed, lifting Frances from his lap and handing her off to her anxious looking nanny. He watched protectively as she was carried out of the room and up the stairs, looking over her nanny's shoulder so that she could watch Kurt's face.

"I'm back now," Kurt said once Frances was out of sight. "Isn't that good enough?"

Beside them both, Krist lowered his head into his hands with a hushed groan. Apparently he too was discouraged by Kurt's surly resistance to discuss what had happened.

"No, it is not good e-fucking-nough!" Courtney snarled. Her cigarette was depositing ash on to the floor.

Kurt sighed and turned his eyes away from Courtney, looking instead at the staircase where Frances had disappeared. Lindy had the feeling that he would have rather been upstairs entertaining her than dealing with Courtney's barrage of questions.

"I think we can all conclude what happened," Rosemary said evenly. She glanced at all of them, checking to see if they understood what she meant. Everyone did. Courtney made a noise of distress.

"We've got to decide what the next move is. It obviously has to be best for you, Kurt. I've already alerted the media that you've been found and that you're safe."

"The media?" Kurt scoffed angrily. "How come the news fucking got wind of this?"

All eyes in the room flitted to Courtney briefly before looking away. Courtney huffed, lighting another cigarette between her fingers.

"What was I supposed to do? He had a gun and he was missing."

"That gun was for me and only me," Kurt seethed, lurching to his feet. "Why did you tell anyone else?"

"Stop!" Rosemary intervened again, holding her hands up as barriers between Kurt and Courtney. "Enough fighting! We're doing this calmly so we can figure out what comes next after this shit show."

Cali made a move to speak, lifting a finger as if to introduce himself into the conversation, but Courtney silenced him viciously before he could even get a word in.

"Cali, don't you fucking dare. I can't even look at you right now, so get the hell out! You ignored my phone calls for days."

Cali was quick to obey Courtney. He jumped out of his seat and darted out of sight without protest. There would be hell to pay later concerning his boss and he would have rather been reprimanded without an audience, anyways.

"I'm suggesting we call authorities to escort Kurt to the hospital. He can receive treatment there. Obviously we don't you to be alone right now, Kurt."

"A psych ward? Are you shitting me? No! I'm not going there!" Kurt argued. Instinctively, his hand found Lindy's.

"It doesn't have to come to that," Lindy interjected. Everyone listened intently to her, intrigued by her decision to finally voice an opinion on the matter. "I have a friend . . . a close friend who recommended a rehabilitation center that would take Kurt in for an extended stay. No psych ward necessary, of course."

"Are you stupid?" Courtney snapped. Kurt growled under his breath. "He was already in rehab when he fucking hopped the fence out of there! Why would we just put him back?"

"It's better than putting him in a straight jacket," Lindy replied back icily.

"I make the decisions," Kurt declared. He was exhausted, but he still had enough energy to exert the last of his independence. "And I'll go to this rehab center, or wherever Lindy has picked out. But no psych wards or mental health institutions. I want to forget that this even happened."

Lindy didn't think anyone would be forgetting what had occurred anytime soon, but no one protested with Kurt's wish. Rosemary nodded accordingly before asking Lindy the name of the rehab center, to which Courtney sneered.

"So what, rehab and that's it?" she asked, throwing a hand up in the air.

"No," Kurt said calmly. "I also want a divorce, Courtney."