THE WORD 'REHAB' had been batted back and forth between Lindy and Kurt several times over the course of the last six months. It appeared though that finally, Kurt had decidedly agreed that going away for treatment would be the best option for him.

On the Monday night before his flight left, Kurt came to Lindy's apartment to say goodbye. She had felt that their parting would have been somewhat romantic, but Kurt was withdrawing, leaving him as a sweaty, panting mess on her couch.

She tried not to let this bother her. Again, it was all about strength. Lindy couldn't find the will to belittle Kurt when she was supposed to be praising him for finally making the difficult choice to change.

The only thing that did bother her was that she had let him leave the next morning without telling him about her pregnancy.

It was a strange feeling, having kept such a massive secret for so long, but as Kurt left and Lindy had gone straight to work, she told herself that she would find a way to tell him once he was in his rehab center. Maybe then the news would be goal-setting rather than terrifying for him.

Lindy was at work, Beth at the hospital working too, as she walked at her usually brisk pace down the hallways. Beth was jabbering away about some man that she had picked up in a bar and Lindy was putting up a good show of smiling and nodding along.

What distracted her was the thought that not many miles away, Kurt would be boarding a flight to California.

As the two women walked by the front nurse's desk, one of the ladies sitting there shot out of her seat and flagged Lindy down with an elaborate wave of her hand. Lindy scrunched her eyes in confusion.

"Me?" she mouthed.

Her fellow nurse, an older woman with a mane of poofy hair, nodded and beckoned her forward. Lindy exchanged a suspicious glance with Beth but approached the desk nonetheless.

"Phone call for you," the nurse explained, holding the phone against her shoulder and covering the mouthpiece. "The young man who called said it was an emergency."

"Another emergency?" Beth cried flippantly, looking at Lindy, aghast. Lindy flapped her fingers, a gesture for the desk nurse to hand her over the phone. There were only so many emergencies that could have happened. All of them involved either Trae or Kurt and none were particularly all that encouraging.

"Hello?" Lindy asked quietly, plugging her free ear to mute the background noise of the hospital.

"It's Krist. Kurt fucking ran away from the airport."

Oh god, here we go.

"What do you mean 'ran away?' You were supposed to be driving him to the airport!" Lindy protested. The nurses at the desk were making a terrible effort to not eavesdrop on her conversation. Beth wasn't setting the example, for she leaned in with curious eyes.

"I did! It's like he changed his mind last minute and didn't want to go. He tried to jump out of the car on I-ninety-five."

"Jesus," Lindy breathed. Krist's retelling of what had happened indicated a meltdown of epic proportions, even for Kurt.

"I got him inside the airport, but he freaked out again and punched me in the face. I wrestled him to the ground but he ended up getting away and the last I saw him, he was turning a corner in a dead sprint."

"You're a six foot seven giant and you didn't manage to catch him?"

Krist scoffed. "Have you ever actually tried catching someone who didn't want to be caught? But listen to me, I had to call because I know he's going to come to you. You're the only person he'll want to see."

"But I'm at work!"

"He could show up at the hospital at this point, Lindy. Look, I'm scared. I've never seen him like that. We have never laid hands on each other, not ever. I think he's going to try to hurt himself."

Lindy had never heard a more depressing noise than the sound of Krist choking on his words, sobs climbing up his throat. His closest friend in the world was in danger of his own self — there was nothing Krist could do to help for once in his life and it was killing him. He and Kurt had been through it all together, from cramming on air mattresses to sleep and jamming out for hours on end in his garage. Now Krist couldn't even be sure if he'd see Kurt alive again.

Lindy could feel her heartbeat begin to pump blood faster through her body, thrumming like a hummingbird's wings. She was nearing a panic attack, yet she stood in the middle of her workplace, surrounded by masses of patients and coworkers.

"I'll do something," she told Krist quickly. "Don't worry, not yet. I'll find him."

She hung up with Krist and latched onto Beth, dragging her away from the nurses desk and into the stream of walking people. In a hushed murmur, she filled Beth in on the phone call and what had happened.

"How am I going to leave?" Lindy whispered, her eyes round with fear.

"It's an emergency, isn't it? You've got to go!" Beth urged, pushing Lindy's arm for added emphasis.

Lindy took Beth's advice. She located her head nurse, offering an alternative explanation to the actual truth of what was happening. The head nurse seemed to understand the severity of Lindy's situation just from her frantic behavior. With official permission to leave, Lindy ran to the break room and collected her things.

She would have never said it out loud, not to Beth, not to Krist, not even to Trae, but she could feel a dark energy rushing over her as she tried to decide whether or not she would find Kurt dead or alive.

_________

The first spot Lindy checked after speeding away from the hospital was her own apartment.

This proved to be a move made to no avail; Kurt was not sitting on her doorstep as she had hopefully predicted.

Cursing, Lindy realized that she would have to search a little harder if she was going to find Kurt. This meant driving to the Lake Washington house, the last place she wanted to show up to unannounced when on any ordinary day, she would be entirely unwelcome.

When Lindy arrived, she shut off her car and got out to stand and look up at the big house. As much as she wanted to charge the door and burst in, she remembered that Kurt had mentioned Frances's ex-nanny, Cali, being there. If she randomly entered the house, she could only imagine how quick Cali would be to tell Courtney.

Lindy was just beginning to spin on her heels and stalk back to her car when she heard the front door opening — initially, her heart skipped a beat with dread, but she heard his voice call out to her.

"Lindy!"

Kurt came bounding out of the house, looking as unsettled as he'd been while withdrawing. Lindy cursed again, running towards Kurt and slamming against him.

"Are you crazy!" she yelped, looping her arms around him in a locked hug. "Krist called and told me what happened. I was so fucking worried, Kurt."

"I couldn't go," Kurt explained desperately, jerking away to stare into Lindy's eyes with an imploring expression. "I wasn't ready to leave yet. I can't do it."

"Yes you can!" Lindy retorted. She didn't put up much of a fight. She was too busy rejoicing that Kurt was breathing right against her, just as alive as when she'd last seen him.

"Let's go to my place," she suggested. The windows of Kurt's home loomed over them like a series of many dangerous eyes. Cali could have easily peeked out of any one of them and seen Kurt and Lindy embracing outside.

After she drove them back, Kurt nestled himself into Lindy's apartment like a well-traveled refugee. Together, he and Lindy sat on the couch, his head in her lap while cartoons played on the television. Lindy pulled her fingers through his hair, paying more attention to the rise and fall of his chest rather than which episode on Nickelodeon blended into the next.

Kurt got bored of this after an hour and a half and to keep himself busy, he picked up Trae's old guitar and began playing. Lindy sat and listened with her head against her hand. He was playing the old Beatles song, 'And I Love Her,' the same one that Lindy had swooned over as a middle school aged child.

Watching Kurt play as he sat with his legs crossed on her living room floor was cruel in a way. It painted the idea in Lindy's head that nothing was really wrong at all, and that a rehabilitation center for recovering heroin addicts wasn't awaiting Kurt in a different state. His voice, gentle and raspy, along with the sound of his impeccable playing made Lindy feel so at peace that she forgot the endless list of problems that together they faced.

Once he finished his song, Kurt looked up at Lindy for approval. She smiled softly, recalling the same boy who had sang her to sleep on those hectic nights in college when she'd been up studying for hours straight.

"How was that?" Kurt asked.

"Unreasonably perfect," followed Lindy's reply.

The night dawned on them and Kurt foiled Lindy's expectations by making phone calls to both his new psychiatrist and lawyer. They were not very long conversations, but Lindy still tuned them out as she stayed on the couch, busy staring at her purse across the room where her engagement ring was hidden.

"I'm going to go," Kurt announced after he'd hung up the phone. He seemed apprehensive as he turned to face Lindy, uncertainty written in the pupils of his eyes.

"To rehab?" Lindy clarified, not necessarily believing that Kurt would have caved so readily.

"Yes," he said. He lowered himself down beside her and took her hand, stroking each of her fingers individually with the pad of his thumb.

"Tonight? Or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow night. Will you drive me there? To say goodbye? I want it to be you who does it."

Lindy did not like Kurt's choice of words. 'Goodbye' was not the right way to describe how she'd feel seeing him off at the airport. 'Goodbye' was too finite. It had a defined end that Lindy didn't agree with.

"Of course I will."

Kurt tucked his body back against Lindy's, reminding her of the way Freddie snuggled against her for warmth in the colder months of the year when the heat in her apartment didn't suffice. She pulled him even closer, the sharp edges of his limbs familiar against her skin.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Kurt said. She felt his fingers clutch her shirt. Once again, his parting words felt drastically overdone. The way Kurt said them made Lindy think that he had plans to never see her again once he got on the airplane.

"It won't be forever," she said assertively. Kurt didn't respond, instead sitting up to run a hand down her face. His eyes, pale blue and remarkably cold for such a loving man, were filled with sadness.

He kissed her, parting her mouth against his and inhaling the sweet taste of her breath. It was warm and enticing, the same as it always was. She felt his tongue roll against hers and she whimpered, thinking that she couldn't stand the thought of never experiencing this kind of sensation again.

Kurt was removing Lindy's clothes with careful contemplation, stopping frequently to savor the aching rise of desire that overwhelmed them both when he hesitated. But Lindy appreciated his cautionary method. The slower he went, the better. It meant more time that she could spend pretending they were the only two people in the world.

The kind of love-making that followed caused Lindy to reminisce on the very first times that she and Kurt had ever had sex. It had always been slow then, but never because of any lingering unease or embarrassment. Kurt had only conducted himself so deliberately because in the past, he had been eager to learn each and every trace of Lindy's body. He had wanted to know the places where she was most sensitive, the spots that he could kiss and receive a moan in return. For him, it had been all about appreciating the truly naked beauty of the girl he loved.

They gave themselves up to each other, all those years prior. Every time Kurt had made love to Lindy, he'd engaged in a study and sensory-overload of just how wonderful intimacy with her really was.

It was all the rivers, hills and roads, leading him to beautiful euphoria.

Kurt did the same thing that night that he'd used to do. There was no rush, only time to spend re-discovering every inch of Lindy in ways he had yet to fully cherish. They moved from the couch, to the floor, and to her bed, dragging out each minute that they could remain tangled against each other.

Once they were done, Lindy pulled Kurt into a hot shower and kissed his face all over beneath the stream of steamy water. She thanked heaven repeatedly for giving her a proper farewell night with him, far better than the original one that they had shared.

They climbed into bed and held each other once more, turning out the lights and waiting for sleep to soothe both of their tired bodies. Lindy welcomed her dreams happily, but as she laid against Kurt recalling what a wonderful evening that they had together, she couldn't shake the feeling that it would be their last.