LIFE COULDN'T GET worse. Well, Lindy supposed that she could have keeled over dead and maybe then life would haven't gotten significantly harder for her, but even as she sat confined to her room, staring at her walls, she was beginning to think that death would be of higher quality than this.

July had finally ended and the month of August swept in, bringing rain and bleak skies that seemingly matched Lindy's mood. For several weeks she had been on house arrest, unable to leave or contact anyone on the outside.

Lee monitored her carefully. She was only allowed to have her door closed for five minutes a day and that was merely to change clothes. The landline phone was off limits and even in the night, Lindy didn't dare try to creep downstairs to phone Kurt or Trae.

She had not heard from any of them since the morning that she and Kurt had been caught. She'd hoped, prayed to God actually, that they all had drawn their own conclusions and guessed that Lee had barred her from contacting them. Her ignorance of them was not by choice.

And worst yet, school was approaching fast. In two weeks, Lindy would be required to present herself at UW to register in her dormitory and move in. A lump grew in her throat every time she considered the possibility that she'd never show up.

It terrified her to tell Lee the truth. She could have told him then and there, announced that she was leaving in days and would never return, but she feared the worst. Would he physically stop her from leaving?

And on top of those worrisome thoughts, Lindy imagined the sort of horrible wrath Lee might unleash on Trae once he discovered that he had funded Lindy's way to school. He'd no doubt be outraged, especially over the fact Trae had gotten his hands on even just a dime of the money their mother had left behind. Lindy felt sick at the thought of Lee ruining Trae's life, or potentially hurting him . . .

As a last ditch effort to soothe her fears, she'd smoked the few remaining cigarettes she owned, careful to blow the smoke out of her open window so Lee would not smell it. Even this could not calm her down, and as she rested her elbows on the windowsill, puffing away on each cigarette until it burned down to her fingertips, she felt dread.

Around noontime one day, Lindy made her way downstairs, her arms folded tightly over her chest. She'd been wearing the same thermal long sleeve for weeks — a long sleeve that had belonged to Kurt — and refused to wear anything else. It was baggy and loose, already giant on Kurt, so naturally even bigger on Lindy.

Lee was at the kitchen table, the daily newspaper propped in his hands as he scanned the columns. Lindy soundlessly entered the kitchen, searching for something quick to eat so she wouldn't have to address his presence.

"I'm just letting you know now, we'll have to go over to Grays Harbor to get you all registered for the semester," Lee announced, never taking his eyes away from the newspaper.

Lindy didn't respond as she opened the fridge, feeling a sickening twist in the depths of her stomach. She always knew her father would take away her life.

"And you're not going alone, so don't even ask," Lee added spitefully.

Once again, Lindy remained quiet, nodding her head in a fast jerking motion before hurrying out of the kitchen with a container of apple sauce.

As soon as she crossed the threshold into her room, she cupped her hand to her mouth, hoping to muffle the sound of the cries that finally overcame her.

_________

Three days. Three more days until Lindy was supposed to move away to Seattle. The time had finally arrived, but still, she was hopeless.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she held her childhood bear in her lap, stroking its matted fur and doing her best not to cry. She had wondered about that bear — would she have taken it away to college? Or would it have stayed in her room, a standing memorial to her old life? She guessed that she'd never know now.

So many tears had been spent in the last few days. Besides the obvious fact that her dream of attending UW had flitted out of reach, Lindy missed Kurt desperately.

She thought of his face, his wandering blue eyes and soothing voice. She dreamt of holding him, feeling the scratch of a few days worth of beard he'd grown against her face as he kissed her. She missed his singing and his thoughtful way of strumming guitar strings in such a way that the noise captivated the ears of any nearby listener.

Surely they would all still move to Seattle. Or, perhaps, Krist and Shelli had terminated the sale on the house? Either way, there would be no grand adventure. Maybe for them, but not for Lindy. As long as Lee controlled her, she and Kurt could never be happy together.

She imagined him becoming famous, singing in cities that sprawled across the world. Meeting girls in those cities, pretty, exotic girls whose taste in grungy punk music would no doubt surpass hers.

Would he touch them the same way he touched her? Would he write songs about them? Would he forget every kiss, every whisper, every time they'd lounged underneath his bridge telling stories and discussing life?

Lindy uttered a guttural sob, feeling as if her heart were physically snapping in half at the thought. She should have known that she was not meant for him. He was other-worldly, and she was still a child, locked away in her home.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the chime of a doorbell. She didn't think much of it — in fact, she laid down, burying her face in her pillow and continuing to lament what could have been.

But then Lee shouted.

Lindy sat upright quickly, her ears perked. It was only natural that she was drawn to the things that pissed her father off the most. Throwing her bear aside, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and carefully crept through the open door, listening.

"If you're here to see her, you might as well leave," Lee barked.

Lindy felt the air in her chest funnel away like a cloud of dust. Had Kurt actually come to her house?

"I'm actually not here to see her. I'm here to see you, Dad."

TRAE! Lindy's mind screamed. The sound of her brother's voice filled her ears like joyous music. For the first time in weeks, happiness exploded within her. He'd come for her. He'd finally come.

Feeling a surge of confidence, Lindy walked down the stairs and appeared into view. Trae, still standing in the doorway, looked at her and smiled a familiar smile that reminded Lindy of their younger years.

"Trae," she whispered emotionally. Lee whipped around, sneering.

"Go back to your room," he instructed.

"No, this concerns Lindy too," Trae intervened. He bravely stepped inside the house, holding a manila envelope behind his back. Lindy was buzzing with anticipation, though deep down, she feared the worst for her brother.

"Should we all sit down?" Trae suggested, his voice professional, cool. This seemed to bother Lee, for his face wrinkled with disgust.

"Don't try to negotiate with me, she went too far —"

"This is important," Trae said calmly, taking the initiative to walk into the living room and sit on the couch that he had not seen in months.

Lindy followed, taking a seat next to him. Quick as lightning, she grabbed his hand, giving it a loving squeeze before Lee finally joined them. The mystery of Trae's arrival seemed to have caught his suspicion enough so that he'd paused before throwing him out.

Trae opened the flap to the folder, producing a thick stack of white paper that was covered in printed words.

"As you know, Dad, Mom left me and Lindy a substantial sum of money in her will," Trae informed. "Enough, in fact, that combined, it would get Lindy through college."

Lindy tried to mask the surprise she felt. She'd always guessed that her mother had left them both money, but never enough to fund her education. Lee had always led on that the amount had been small, barely anything if that.

Lee's expression was one of someone who had been very deliberately blindsided.

"How . . . how did you . . ." he spluttered.

"I contacted the lawyer who handled Mom's will after she died. She was conveniently shocked to learn that Lindy and I haven't seen a dime of that money left for us. Because I'm an adult and no longer require your consent, I was finally able to get hold of the money."

Trae shot Lindy a brief look. "Lindy's money as well, since, you know, you're holding her captive."

"You can't do that!" Lee bellowed, standing so quickly that he nearly toppled his chair over.

"Oh yes I can," Trae replied pleasantly. He laid the papers flat on the coffee table.

"Everything you need to know is there."

Turning to Lindy, he smiled reassuringly. "Since you're eighteen Linds, this should all go accordingly. You can leave with me tonight. We'll have you ready for UW by tomorrow."

"What did you say?"

There was a crunch of paper between Lee's fists as he crumbled the documents, narrowing his eyes at Trae.

"Oh, Lindy must not have told you yet. She's moving to the University of Washington. You know, for school. I raised some money for her myself, but I think it's obvious she'll be sustained for the rest of college," Trae explained politely.

"LIKE HELL SHE IS!" Lee roared.

Lindy wasn't sure where her self-assurance came from, but before she could second guess herself, she was standing. Maybe it was her brother, finally beside her after weeks of absence. Or maybe Hannah, her mother, had finally issued some impenetrable strength towards her daughter so she could finally do what she needed to do then and there.

"Yes I am," Lindy said, her voice shaking with years worth of hate and anger. "I'm going and there's nothing you can do. I'm through being scared of you. I don't care if I'm not welcomed back. I'm done."

She glanced at Trae, who nodded encouragingly, before storming upstairs, leaving Lee gaping at her in her wake.

He shouted something unintelligible, and Lindy heard Trae stand up and stop him from following her. Lee must have obeyed him, for she didn't hear his heavy footsteps clomping on the stairs. She assumed he had finally realized that there was nothing he could do except physically hold her down, something she ultimately guessed he'd never do after all.

Lindy grabbed a suitcase, her eyes flashing around her room as she did her best to select what would come with her and what she would probably never see again. She threw in clumps of random clothing, books, records she still loved and photos of her mother and Trae. She ripped down a few valuable posters, folding them up. All the while, she could feel a steady reminder pounding through her head — I'm finally leaving.

Pulling on her sole pair of shoes and swinging her backpack over her shoulders, Lindy zipped up her suitcase and rolled it out behind her. She didn't even stop to hold it as she walked down the stairs; she just let it thunk down each step.

"You can't go," Lee threatened, but it was a weak warning. There was nothing behind it, and even if there was, Lindy felt like it would no longer bother her.

"You heard Trae. I can and I will. I can't believe you hid Mom's money from us," she replied coldly. She continued towards the front door, the last look on her father's face that she saw being one of absolute astonishment.

"LINDSEY!" he exploded.

She ignored him. This is what she'd been waiting for. The final push to escape. Trae had gifted it to her, and it was over, once and for all. This was the last time she'd ever be called 'Lindsey.'

Lindy didn't look back at the house. Once outside, she stared hard at Trae's car, beginning to blot out the awful memories spent in that hellhole she had called home. Her freedom was finally right in front of her like a boundless road for the taking. 

Trae followed her out and as he opened the door again, Lindy heard snatches of Lee screaming and demolishing the interior of the house, no doubt throwing things left and right. Trae paid no mind as he approached his sister, the empty manila folder tucked under his arm.

He grinned. "Happy?"

Lindy exhaled with relief. Happy didn't begin to cover it.

"You have no idea."

_________

When the two siblings pulled up to Krist and Shelli's house, Lindy felt faint upon catching sight of Kurt sitting on the front steps, scrawling in a notebook. He looked up when Trae turned in.

Trae looked at Lindy with a knowing smile, but she didn't look back. Her attention was glued to the angel of a boy sitting right in front of her, looking back into her eyes as if seeing heaven for the very first time.

Kurt threw the notebook down on the steps, standing up and speed-walking to the passenger side door. Lindy barely had time to close her hand around the handle before he was opening it, pulling her out and crushing her against him.

She didn't want to cry. Like she had thought before, she'd been crying too much. But she couldn't help it. Being with Kurt again, feeling him against her and hearing his own shuddering sighs of relief, made her break down in tears.

"Welcome back," Kurt whispered in her ear, smoothing his hand down her brown hair.

Lindy let out a jittery laugh through her tears, bliss closing in on her like the most perfect safe haven in the world.

[ WOO HOO, i'm so glad i don't have to write about that mf lee anymore!! buuuuut i know this is kind of a slow burn right now but i'm going to try to considerably speed the story up a lil' so we can get to the good ol' nirvana days. thx for sticking around! ]