SEPTEMBER, 1992, SEATTLE, WA

                     THE DAY THAT Lindy's life changed fell upon her in a way that she would not have ever expected it to. She had been hoping and wishing for so long that some monumental whirlwind would come and shake up her daily routine that she did not even realize that it had finally found her. 

She was in Seattle's Pike Place Market on her day off, ambling through various produce stands and antique pop-up shops. Fall was creeping up on Seattle and bringing the cold along with it and Lindy had elected to wear her long hair down around her face to protect herself from the biting air.

Two days prior, she had been inside her apartment watching MTV's Video Music Awards. Nirvana had taken home awards for Best Alternative Music Video and Best New Artist, two notable triumphs that had made Lindy smile besides herself with pride. They had performed too, and Lindy had to hide her tears as they fell from her eyes and onto the couch. Jack had been there too, and was stunned to see Lindy cry to the least-saddening music that he could think of.

She had blamed it on her allergies, but on the inside, she was as emotional as ever watching Kurt and his bandmates walk up to MTV's podium and accept their award. Kurt looked healthy and pleased, something that had greatly relieved Lindy. He'd even cut his hair short, looking more boyish than he ever had before.

Lindy, from the start, had never wanted to obsessively follow Nirvana nor Kurt in fear that it would depress her, but on that night she had found a certain peace in looking into Kurt's face and seeing that he was alive and well. He appeared happy to be both a father and successful musician and she was proud. She was proud to have known him.

Milling around the market, Lindy placed a few selections of fruits into her straw bag. She had thought that a day to herself would be just what she needed. Never before had Lindy been able to freely shop for the things that she wanted, but her salary had changed that. Now, she did not feel so bad about purchasing the pretty, old-fashioned wristwatch that she had seen in a shop window. She told herself that sometimes, physical things did indeed make for a nice distracton. 

"Lindy?"

From over the heads of a crowd of Pike Place shoppers, Lindy could hear her name being called. The voice that beckoned her sounded distinctly familiar. Her stomach clenched and she put down the fruit that she was holding in her hand.

She turned, peering through the crowd in search of her pursuer. She wondered vaguely if it was Jack, but remembered that he was at work.

She nearly fainted when she finally caught sight of one head that stood out above the rest, covered in a shaggy mop of brown hair. Next to him was a small woman, her eyes opened wide and her mouth rounded around another oncoming shout.

"LINDY!" the woman screamed.

Everything clicked instantly. Lindy did not have to sift through her memories to realize who the two people calling for her were. She would have known them from anywhere.

She took a wobbling step forward, staggering as her jaw dropped open. It wasn't a hallucination. They were really there. They were real.

Shelli Novoselic charged Lindy through the crowd, bounding up to her and throwing herself against her old friend. Lindy gasped in shock, dropping her straw bag but wrapping her arms tightly around Shelli as she caught her in her embrace. Her discarded fruit rolled past the feet of the onlookers that stared curiously at the two women.

"Shelli," Lindy choked out, pressing her fingers into Shelli's back as if to confirm through touch that it really was her, holding Lindy in the middle of Pike Place Market. Her bewilderment was only furthered when Krist strolled up to them, grinning with an excitement that matched Shelli's.

"Oh god, I can't believe it's you!" Shelli cried, stepping back to evaluate Lindy and take her face into her hands. Lindy laughed, but it came out short and static, for tears were filling her eyes and choking her throat. They were happy tears though, and she did not try to shield them as she threw herself into Krist.

"I've missed you both so much," Lindy said, overwhelmed to have them so close to her after all the time that had passed. Krist hugged her tightly, patting her head in the same brotherly manner that he had taken to using with her years ago.

"We didn't believe it was you at first," Krist said, grinning. Lindy wiped her eyes, her smile so wide that it was hurting her cheeks.

"I can't say the same. You're so tall Krist, anyone could recognize you from a mile away."

"Look at you!" Shelli exclaimed emotionally. "You're so beautiful! Nothing's changed!"

"What are you guys doing here?" Lindy asked, looking between them both with hungry eyes. She never wanted to forget that moment that she had finally found them again. Even as she crouched down to gather her things, she never drew her gaze away from their faces. 

"Nirvana's performing for a benefit that's fighting music-censorship tonight," Krist informed her, leaning down to help. "We just got in to Seattle today. Shelli and I thought it might be fun to check out Pike Place before our sound check and all that."

"I nearly forgot," Lindy smiled. "You're famous now."

Shelli insisted that they all three find shelter in one of the nearby cafés, a suggestion that Lindy quickly said yes to. She was nowhere near ready for them to leave her.

As they sat down at a small round table and removed their jackets, Lindy beat Krist and Shelli to the punch by demanding to know everything that had happened in the years since they had last seen each other. Krist delved into a long-winded explanation of Nirvana's rise to stardom and Lindy noted that he avoided using Kurt's name as much as possible.

"I've watched you guys," Lindy told him. "And I saw the VMA's the other day. Congratulations, you all deserve it."

Krist smiled in appreciation, gingerly taking a sip of the steaming cappuccino that he had ordered.

"Thanks Lindy. It's definitely a different world, I'll tell you that."

Lindy clasped her hands together beneath the table. The thought of Kurt was poking at her, nudging her brain and refusing to go unspoken of. She didn't know if it was a good idea to bring him up, but she could not help herself. She had been in love with him, after all. 

"So . . . how's Kurt?" she started slowly.

Shelli's smile, authentic and shining, faltered ever so slightly. She coughed and looked down into her lap and Krist cringed.

"Uh, well, he's okay. He and Courtney are going through some shit with the courts over custody of Frances. I'm sure you know about that huge Vanity Fair scandal," Krist explained.

"Yeah," Lindy said softly. "I saw it."

"It's been really hard on him. He loves that baby more than anything."

"I can only imagine." Lindy spun her tiny coffee straw in her drink, watching as the foam made slivery shapes. She felt a twinge of jealousy for this Courtney woman that she did not know. 

"Is he . . . he's not, you know . . . on drugs?" Lindy asked, holding her breath while waiting for their reply.

Krist sighed. "He's a couple weeks clean, as far as I know. But I won't lie to you, Lindy. Kurt and heroin are closer friends than you think."

Lindy nodded, swallowing hard and averting her eyes towards the window. So it was true. He had been doing drugs. The truth hurt a lot worse than she imagined it would.

Krist, seeing how his admission had affected Lindy, was quick to try to lighten the mood.

"Hey, here's an idea! How about you come to the benefit tonight? I'll leave tickets for you and a friend at will call!"

Lindy, momentarily distracted from the pitfall news of Kurt, laughed loudly.

"Me? Go to your concert?"

"That's a great idea! You should come! You can see Krist play on the big stage!" Shelli said excitedly, but Lindy was all too aware of how she had slipped Krist's name in her exclamation in place of Kurt's.

"I don't know ," Lindy said uncertainly. "I've got work tomorrow."

"C'mon, please!" Krist begged. As he leaned forward to stare into Lindy's eyes, Lindy saw with great realization just how much he had matured since she had last seen him.

"Okay," Lindy agreed. She bit her lip, cracking her knuckles in her hand as she silently cursed herself. "I'll go."

"And you better stay afterwards and say hi to us," Shelli warned, though her smile was playful. "No more of this disappearing for two years without a word."

Krist announced that he and Shelli had to get going so that he could prepare for the show. He took down Lindy's phone number and address and she felt happy to know that he'd have them in the future. As they hugged she felt Krist tenderly kiss the top of her head, similar to how Trae usually did. The gesture warmed her to the very core of her chest.

"Don't forget, there will be an extra ticket, so bring whoever you want. We'll see you tonight," Krist said. Shelli swiftly kissed Lindy's cheek before they both disappeared into the mass of shoppers, leaving Lindy alone with her straw bag over her shoulder.

She had begun her morning with a cup of coffee, thinking that she would shop for the day and return home to binge watch movies and eat yummy foods until she fell asleep in the comfort of her bed.

Now, in an unpredictable turn of events that she could hardly fathom, she was going to see Nirvana live.

_________

"So, let me get this straight," Beth said, holding out her hands to stop Lindy from speaking. "You woke up this morning and decided that you wanted to see Nirvana tonight?"

Lindy, who was sitting on her couch with her hands folded professionally in her lap, pursed her lips as Beth towered over her. 

"Yes."

Beth rolled her eyes. "I don't believe that."

As soon as Lindy had returned home from Pike Place, she had called Beth and asked her to come over, telling her that she had a surprise in store. Lindy knew Beth was the only guest besides Trae that she would want to join her for the show and since Trae had work, Beth had become her only option.

Unfortunately, Beth was having a difficult time believing that Lindy had secured two tickets for an event that she had not previously mentioned wanting to go to. The fact that it was the day of did not help Lindy's case either and Beth was skeptically drilling her with questions.

"It'll be really fun Beth, I promise. We can get dressed up and everything," Lindy said, trying her hardest to coax Beth into agreeing instead of suspiciously analyzing her.

"What's up with you and Nirvana lately, huh? Didn't you just ask me that weird question about Kurt Cobain last month?"

Lindy felt suddenly very defeated. Sighing, she leaned back into her couch and covered her face with her hands. She had kept up the ruse for a long time that she was a stranger to Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, but she knew at heart that if she took Beth to the concert that night, Beth would be owed the truth. She considered her to be her best friend and knew it was wrong to lie to her face. 

"Okay. I need you to sit down," Lindy finally said, standing and clapping her hands together.

Beth did as told, though she kept one eyebrow cocked as she lowered herself down into Lindy's place on the couch.

Lindy stood in front of her, taking deep, steady breaths as she debated how she would admit to her best friend the truth that she had hidden for far too long.

"I grew up in Aberdeen," Lindy began. Beth was quick to interrupt her.

"I know that, so what?"

"So I knew Kurt. He was from there too. And we dated each other. Well, actually, that's a pretty shitty term for what it was. We were . . . er, in love."

Lindy's face flushed as she finally confessed out loud the secret of her and Kurt's past relationship. Beth's jaw dropped so quickly that Lindy swore she heard the pop of it falling open.

"We were together for over three years. Then we broke up. I was close to his bandmate, Krist, and I ran into him today at Pike Place and he invited me to come watch them play. I'm sure as hell not going alone, so I need you with me. Please. I don't want to do this by myself."

Beth was still gaping at Lindy, open-mouthed and staring in awe. Lindy let out a nervous laugh, but even that did not break the tension.

"You're fucking with me, right?" Beth said slowly. Lindy shook her head.

"No. Trust me, I wish this was all a joke. I've wished it so many times."

Beth closed her eyes, waving her hands in front of her face as if to brush away the unbelievable news that her best friend had been romantically involved with the world's most popular rockstar.

"Lindy, if you dated Kurt Cobain, then I dated Axl Rose. Are you high right now?"

Lindy knelt down to her knees, grabbing Beth's hands and holding them pleadingly. She looked into her eyes with an earnest gaze, keeping her face serious.

"I'm not kidding Beth. I'm dead serious."

To further prove her point, Lindy disappeared into her bedroom and returned with a wallet-sized photo that she had kept tucked away in her dresser. She walked over to Beth and handed it to her.

The picture had been taken in a cramped photo booth, forcing her and Kurt to press their faces together to fit themselves in at all angles. In black and white, Kurt was wearing a knowing smirk, and Lindy was grinning ear-to-ear, sitting on his lap with her arm around his neck. Beth accepted the photo, stared at it, and let out a piercing scream. 

"YOU WERE WITH KURT COBAIN?" she shrieked, dropping the photo and standing up with such fervor that Lindy stumbled backwards.

"I've been trying to tell you that!" Lindy said, annoyed as she bent down to pick up the fallen picture.

"Oh my god," Beth gasped. "We've got to go. We've got to get ready. We've got to go, like, now. Your ex is performing tonight in front of sixteen-thousand people. We've got to go."

Lindy snorted under her breath, slipping the picture into the back pocket of her jeans.

"Yes, so please do me a favor and get ready or I'm not going at all. I can't do this without you." 

Beth grabbed her keys, her eyes still round with wonder as she scurried towards Lindy's front door wearing a dreamlike expression.

"You dated Kurt Cobain. I can't believe it."

"Yeah," Lindy grumbled, opening the door for her friend. "Me neither."