WHEN TRAE AND Lindy pulled up to their house, the yellow lights of their living room were still turned on and could be seen from the driveway, which could only mean one thing — Lee was preparing to raise hell.

"Fuck," Trae said roughly. "He's up."

"Of course he's up," Lindy said with a sigh, although her heart had been racing the whole ride home. "He would never miss a chance to ream us."

"I'll go in first," Trae decided gallantly, shutting the car off. He smiled slightly at his sister. "I'm guessing the night was at least worth it for you. Or at least that's what I heard from Krist."

Lindy furrowed her brows and resisted the urge to sink lower into her seat. Her neck and face burned with that familiar hot feeling as Trae's knowing eyes rested on hers.

"Butt out, Trae," she commanded.

"I will, but only because I don't agree with the false patriarchal positions brothers assume over their sisters," he announced smartly.

"Okay, we get it, you're changing the world one step at a time. Now get inside please before he comes out here and causes a scene," Lindy pleaded.

Trae walked up first with Lindy following closely behind, tip-toeing in the wake of his shadow like a quiet mouse. When Trae slowly opened the front door, the hinges squeaking eerily in their place, they instantly recognized the sound of their father clomping down the stairs.

"Trae—," Lindy began, reaching for her brother as a series of warning signals went off in her head. It was too late. Lee came bounding in from the kitchen and grabbed Trae by his shirt collar, dragging him into the house violently.

"You little shit!" Lee roared. He threw Trae to the ground, and Lindy screamed, never having seen her father act so murderous towards her brother. Trae scrambled to his feet, backing away from Lee as he charged forward again.

"I know where you fucking went. Lindsey's friend's house, my ass. I have a buddy who lives in Raymond. He kindly called the house phone when he saw you two leaving a party three houses down from him," Lee hissed, scrunching his face angrily. 

Lindy's stomach dropped as she realized her and Trae were about ten times more in trouble after Lee's discovery. There was no way they would walk free after this.

"We weren't there for the party," Trae started. "A friend's band playing and we just wanted to go to support—,"

Trae had no time to finish his defense. Lee grabbed him once more, wrenching his shirt between his fingers and slamming Trae up against a wall. A framed photo of the family, taken back when Hannah was still alive, came crashing down and splintered glass across the floor. 

"You think I'm stupid, kid? I'll kill you for going behind my back, you little shit," Lee barked, shaking Trae horribly in his grasp. 

Lindy knew she had to intervene, because in the moment, she imagined Lee really killing Trae right then and there in the living room. The instinct to protect her brother, the only person she loved in the world, overcame her as she ran towards Lee and brought her fist down on his back.

"Let him go! Stop!" she shouted, pounding another fist down with all the strength that she could muster between Lee's shoulder blades.

Lee whirled around, stiff-arming Lindy's chest and sending her small frame flying backwards. She stumbled into the couch and fell to the ground once she lost her footing, suddenly disoriented by Lee's physical assault on her. Trae shoved Lee off and ran to her, crouching down protectively over his sister as Lee loomed from the corner.

Even in his rage, he appeared to be processing the severity of what he had done. In all his life, he had never put his hands on his children. Hannah would have resurrected herself just to murder him if he had ever done so. His hands were shaking as he watched Trae cradle Lindy closer to him, inspecting whether or not she was okay.

"I'm fine," Lindy panted. "I'm alright." 

"You," Lee said in a deadly voice, pointing directly at Trae. "Get the hell out of my house."

Trae stood, helping Lindy to her feet. The two siblings stood side by side, the barriers that had separated them from their father becoming more obvious than it ever had as they stood on opposite sides of the room.

"Don't ever touch Lindy again," Trae said shakily, before turning and hurrying up the stairs. Lindy did not look back at Lee, following on her brother's heels as she too took the stairs two at a time. She trailed after Trae into his room, where he loudly slammed the door shut and grabbed a duffle bag. He threw it on his bed and began to storm about the room, ripping open drawers and collecting clothes.

"What are you doing?" Lindy trembled.

"Leaving. You and I both know he isn't going to let me stay. I would, for you, but he'd drag me out by my hair and I don't want you to see that."

Lindy began crying, her sobs building in her chest and shaking her to her core. "Trae, don't leave me here. Please. I can't be here without you."

Trae paused from his packing, looking up at Lindy and resisting the urge to cry himself. He approached her, enveloping her into a gentle hug and running his hand down her soft brown hair.

"I am so sorry, Linds. I can't apologize enough."

"It's my fault," Lindy sobbed. "If I hadn't walked away with Kurt tonight, we would have been okay. He wouldn't have kicked you out."

"No, Linds, we wouldn't have. By the time that party ended, we were already fucked. Don't blame yourself. All that matters was that you had a good night. God, it's been so long since I've seen you truly happy. Tonight you were. Do you know how worth it that makes it all?" Trae whispered, sounding close to tears himself. 

Lindy buried her face in her brother's chest, holding onto him for dear life, wishing and praying that if she tightened her arms enough, he would not be able to escape her. The night was catching up to her and the glory of it all was disappearing before she could store it safely into her memories. It wasn't a fair trade off. It wasn't fair that because she had had a good night, she was bound to lose her brother in exchange. 

"Where will you go?" she asked tearfully. She didn't want to picture him homeless, roaming Aberdeen without a bed to sleep on. Guilt seeped into her like poison. 

"Probably Krist's house. He's the only guy I know who doesn't have parents lurking around his place."

"What am I going to do without you?" Lindy cried out, wiping her tears with the palm of her hand. Trae continued to pack, throwing the necessities into his bag.

"I'll try to come back. For now, we've got to let him cool off and let him think he won. Hopefully he gets over it," Trae said. He threw his duffle over his shoulder and walked towards the door, pausing to grab Lindy's face between his hands. His face was urgent as he forced her to look into his eyes. 

"I'll come back for you, Linds. And even if I can't, you're going to get the fuck out of here, I know it. This won't be your life forever."

Lindy's tears streaked her face as she watched her brother lope down the stairs, the sound of his footsteps ricocheting off the walls. She paced after him, covering her mouth with her hands so Lee wouldn't hear her stifling her whimpers.

Nothing was said between father and son as Trae walked purposefully past his dad, pushing open the front door and disappearing into the night. Lindy had to bite her cheek to keep from screaming out in pain when she heard Trae's car start and eventually fade into the distance as he drove away.

From the top of the stairs, she made brief eye contact with Lee, who was reclined in his chair and massaging his temples. Her face wrinkled in agony at her loss, but she did not make a sound, spinning around and running towards her bedroom so that she did not have to look into the face she hated any longer.

She threw herself onto her bed, pressing her face into a pillow and wailing. All her life, she had depended on Trae, relying on his sly jokes and happy personality to keep her sane in the mad house that she lived in. Without him there, she felt powerless, completely exposed to Lee's autocratic rule. Trae had been her life float, her compass when she was lost in the world. Now he was gone.

Lindy rolled over, trying to catch her breath and ease out of her crying fit. It was late and she was undeniably tired. The trauma of what she had just experienced only made her more exhausted, and she felt her eyelids grow heavy as she studied her ceiling, wishing over and over in her head that she could either have a different life or simply be dead.

The only thing that eventually lulled her to sleep was the sound of Kurt's voice in her mind, coiling around the words 'anti-dads club' and making her life seem only slightly less hellishly horrific than it truly was.

[ hi, it's me again. i'm sorry if this another 'filler chapter' to some, but damn, i really enjoy writing about lindy's life outside of kurt. don't worry, it will all pick up from here and i promise this will be the kurt cobain story i promised! ]