Rohan's POV

4 months later...

It's been just 4 months but it already feels like 4 decades have passed. So much happened and so much still to take care of. I don't know what I have done or am doing is good enough but I have tried my best to overcome all the shit I have been doing for so long and especially what I did in last year.

I have been to court more than I was at home. But I am glad I have people by my side who didn't let me go through anything alone. Arjun has been here most of the time taking care of everything with Raghav. I have troubled them more than anyone else. But I still didn't thank any of them and I guess I don't have to as they know it already. Speaking out my feeling has always been the toughest task for me.

About the girls, Arohi and Ahana keep calling me every now and then for lecturing me over anything and everything. But the worst is when those two call me when they are together. Trust me I just hear the stuff they say because I don't even get a chance to speak anything. I smiled thinking about them. But trust me, they are the ones who make me face my reality and yet keep me motivated.

Arohi and I have grown closer. She is my 'go-to person' when I'm low and when I really need someone to open up to.

Professionally, I didn't do anything new yet. I am too busy getting recovered and restoring myself mentally. And now I have to do the most difficult task of my life till now. For which I have been preparing myself for so long but I still don't think I am ready for it yet. And I know I will never be. So I just decided to do it anyway than wasting furthermore time. It's time for me to go to India and meet the person who hates me the most in the world.

I let out a deep breath closing my eyes.

"Nervous?" Arjun asked sitting beside me on the stool. We were sitting in the bar right now. We have booked a flight to India tonight, just the thought of that builds up tension in my stomach.

I nodded looking at Arjun and gave him a faint smile. Arjun chuckled at me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't worry. It's gonna be alright." He said holding my shoulder tightly. I didn't say anything for some time and kept looking at the counter before me.

"I am scared," I said and looked at Arjun, "I don't want to do this, Arjun."

"Don't be stupid, Rohan. She won't kill you." Arjun said pouring the drink into his glass.

"Even if she does, who cares." Raghav came and sat on my other side. I heard Arjun chuckle at him. I glared at Raghav who was smiling stupidly looking at me.

"I guess Arohi will care the most," Arjun said giving me a teasing smile. Raghav chuckled at that.

"What is wrong with you guys? What are you? In college?" I asked being irritated with the continuous teasing of these two assholes for the past few months. And not just these boys but even the girls, Ahana and Jenny aren't bad at this either.

"But anyway, did you asked her?" Arjun asked taking the glass to his mouth. 

"About what?" I said in a low voice looking at my hands.

"About the weather in India," Raghav said rolling his eyes. I glared at him again while Arjun chucked again.

"No, I didn't," I said being annoyed at both of them.

"No, but seriously," Arjun said after few moments of silence getting serious.

"Let me just settle the first thing I have in my hand. Then I will think about it." I said sighing. 

"Don't worry. It will get settled soon enough." Raghav said giving me a small smile.

"Did you talk to Ahana?" Arjun asked again. I sighed.

"Yup!" I said rubbing my face with both of my hands.

"You have got your bodyguard cum lawyer. What are you worried about?" Raghav asked playfully. I let out a small laugh so did Arjun.

"True!!  Ahana will take care of most of the stuff for you." Arjun said poking my arm with his elbow.

"I know she is there but come on guys. Do you think I will want her to fight with her mom for me?" I asked looking at both of them.

"They are anyway not on good terms," Arjun said shrugging his shoulders, taking a big sip of whatever he was drinking. I was too anxious to pay any attention.

"Yes and I don't want to make it worse," I said with irritation. Some time went by in silence before Raghav thought of breaking it.

"Life was so much easier before." He said with a small smile looking at both of us. A small smile formed on my and Arjun's lips thinking about the old days.

"I know right?" Arjun said smiling widely now, looking distantly, "Just going to auditions. Chilling out at the apartment."

"Playing games and roaming around the whole city..." Raghav added with a big wide grin. I smiled widely too.

"Those were the days." I said with a sigh as the smile faded away, "Then reality hit and life happened."

"I guess my dream to become big ruined it all." I said further without waiting for any of them to jump in, "Or my ego did. Who knows." I finished shrugging my shoulders with a small sarcastic laugh. I looked up at Arjun when I felt his hand on my shoulder again.

"No one ruined anything. Shit happens in life as we grow, as we become something, as we reach somewhere." Arjun said and shifted in his seat pulling his hand away and holding his glass again, "You made a mistake, Rohan. And you have paid price for it. You have been through enough." He finished looking at me.

I let out a sigh again.

"No price can fix what I lost," I said with a plain voice.

"I know. Nothing will ever fix anything. You have to just accept that and live on. Like we are doing." Arjun said and I felt some rage within me. I looked at him taking deep breaths.

"You guys didn't kill him. I did." I said gritting my teeth. He looked back at me with plain expressions.

"Let's not go there, Rohan." Arjun just said that and changed the topic as always. They think that will do magic. That will make me forget things but it just doesn't help. I want to talk everything out with someone for once. To just lower the weight on my chest but nothing is helping and I don't think anything will ever. I have to carry this till my very last breath.

"I hope talking to aunty will help you somewhat, in some way," Raghav said patting my back gently. I closed my eyes and nodded in understanding.

"Alright, I guess it's about time we should leave," Arjun said getting up and standing beside me.

"You ready, Rockstar?" He asked looking at me and giving me a cheerful smile which made me smile automatically. I just nodded looking at him.

*************

I pulled my hood lower to not to get spotted as I walked on Mumbai airport. Arjun already went ahead fighting with Jenny over the phone. I pulled the collar of the sweatshirt I was wearing over my chin to cover the lower part of my face. 

"Don't act weird, Rohan." Raghav whispered from beside me, "You are looking more suspicious and gathering more attention like that." I rolled my eyes again.

"I just don't want anyone to spot me now. I am too tired to smile for cameras." I said in an irritated and complaining voice.

"More like nervous," Raghav muttered while adjusting his backpack over his shoulder. I glared at him which he just ignored.

"Whatever," I said and pulled the hoodie further as if it is gonna stretch and cover my whole face. Raghav let out a frustrating sigh looking at me.

"But let me tell you that you aren't succeeding in that as people have already spotted you and I guess Indian media people just live on airports as they literally spot anyone and everyone at any time on any gate. So no escaping." Raghav finished looking around us. We were standing at one of the pillars which were somewhat closer to the exit surrounded by four of my bodyguards as Arjun said he will call us once the car is here as Jenny basically forgot to send one for us.

"God!!! I hate my life." I said looking at Raghav, "Can't I have some privacy?" Raghav rolled his eyes again at me. 

"You should have thought about it before." He said not paying much attention to me and looked at his mobile screen.

"Shut your mouth and call Arjun," I said with an annoying voice. Raghav rolled his eyes, "Just go and click some pictures. It will make them happy at least."

"There are many. Should I go and click with everyone then?" I said in an irritated voice.

"It's the least you can do for the love you get." Raghav said paying half attention to me and typing something in his phone when he looked up at me briefly, "Don't forget your roots."

"Car is here, Ro!" Jack, one of my security boys told me and gestured for me to walk, "Let's go."

I let out a sigh and looked at the people who were standing looking at me with sparkling eyes. I smiled at them and looked at Jack again.

"Just give me five minutes," I said and walked towards the crowd putting a big confident smile even though my heart was beating rapidly inside by just the thought of being in Mumbai and breathing in the same air as Aaryan's mom.

****************

"Are you kid? Can't you arrange your own ride?" Jenny shouted as soon as we entered the Singhania mansion.

"Forget me. At least you should have considerate for Rohan." Arjun shouted back and threw his bag on the couch in the living room. Raghav and I thought it's better to not interfere in their conversation.

"What are you two doing there? Are you guests?" Jenny crossed her arms on her chest and raised eyebrows at us.

"We were just playing safe," Raghav said lazily as he went ahead and hugged Jenny. Jenny smiled widely at him and pulled back looking at me.

"What Rockstar? Feeling better?" She said coming closer to me. I was feeling way too uneasy for the same reason.

"Worse. I would rather say." I said shaking my head a bit. Jenny smiled again at me and pulled me along with her holding my hand.

"Come sit." She said gesturing towards the sofa. I involuntarily followed her behind.

"Arohi had..." Jenny was saying while sitting beside me when I cut her in between.

"Recording, I know," I said absentmindedly.

"Okayyy!!!" She said suppressing her laughter so did Raghav and Arjun.

"Come on, guys! Not again!" I said in an irritated voice when Jenny let out a chuckle.

"Anyway, just freshen up. I will prepare something for both of you." Jenny said with a smile as she got up and made her way to the kitchen.

By the time I got ready Ahana and Arohi were already there. My smile went wide seeing both of them looking back at me. 

"You are here, finally!" Ahana said coming closer and hugging me tightly. I smiled in her embrace.

"Yes, finally," I said when she pulled away still smiling widely. I wanted to look back in those hazel brown eyes which were staring at me but with all the eyes on me with their wittiest smiles I controlled the urge and just gave a small smile to Arohi which she reflected, maybe sensing my un-comfortability.

I, so wanted to pull her in my arms and keep her close to me. I missed her soft touch, her sweet smile and those sparkle in her hazel eyes as she stared back at me. I didn't like this distance between us, I didn't like to keep her as my beautiful little secret anymore. I just wanted to make it official. But I need to wait, just a little longer, until I can handle things until things are normal again. Then there's no more distance, there's no more hiding!

"I thought you won't come again," Ahana said with a frown as we all settle on the dining table with Jenny's delicious-looking food in front of us. 

"How can I not. I have promised all of you that I will get better." I said sighing and looking up at all of them, "So, I have to start somewhere. At least try to get thing better for all of us." I finished giving them a small smile.

"Besides, he has another reason to come here, Ahana," Jenny said with a mischievous smile. I rolled my eyes at them when I heard everyone laughing. I didn't dare to look at Arohi who was sitting across me next to Jenny and Raghav so, I just looked down at my hands.

"That's so true." I heard Ahana from beside me as she poked my arm gently. I looked at her with a frown.

"That's so not." I said defending myself. She gave me a sarcastic smile.

"Please Rohan, you never came to India no matter how much we begged." Ahana continued further narrowing her eyes at me. I was about to open my mouth to protest her when Arjun jumped in from beside Ahana with a wide grin on his face.

"After all, what they say is right. Love is greater than friendship." He said in his dramatic self gesturing with his hands. 

"Shut up you asshole!" I said glaring at him when others burst into laughter. I should have seen this coming. I let out a sigh and finally managed to look at Arohi who surprisingly had a big smile on her face. I frowned looking at her to which she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Stop shying, whining and complaining like a girl." Jenny said taking a spoon to her mouth. I rolled my eyes.

"I am not but can you guys just stop this and concentrate on the other important thing for which I really am here?" I said looking at all of them one by one. The laughter died as the silence took over the table. I felt guilty for bringing up that topic just now. 

"When are you coming home?" Ahana asked tilting her head to look at me. I looked down not knowing what to say. My heart was pounding just thinking about it. I still don't have the courage. I closed my eyes for a brief moment taking as much air in my lungs as I can. I opened my eyes just when I felt Ahana's hand over mine. I gave her a weak smile.

"Don't worry. I will be there. Arjun will be there." She said smiling faintly at me, "You will be fine. Trust me."

"I do trust all of you." I said taking a deep breath, "I just don't trust myself." I finished and Ahana's grip on my hand tightened. The silence filled the room again.

"We will go tomorrow?" Arjun asked after some time looking at me raising his eyebrows, waiting for my confirmation. I looked at him immediately not sure what to do.

"Tomorrow?" I asked being unsure then looked at Ahana, "Why? Are you taking off? We can go over the weekend."

"Pushing it further won't make it go away. Nor it is going to solve anything. So just face it for once." I heard Jenny in front of me. I sighed again and looked back at Ahana and Arjun who were looking at me waiting to say something.

"Alright, I guess tomorrow will be fine then," I said with a small forced smile as I shifted my gaze back to the plate in front of me.

***************

The thoughts covered my head. I was feeling uneasy. Coming to India always made me feel uneasy. This country and especially this city hold so many memories, of the person who has given me so much. 

I will be finally facing my fears tomorrow. I will be going back to his house tomorrow for the first time since he... Now it won't be same with him not around.

How will I manage to not break again? Will I be able to hold myself together? Will I be able to face his mother? How am I gonna survive this? Did I rush things? Should I have waited for some more time? 

I closed shut my eyes tightly as I let the breeze hit my face. I was standing in the big terrace balcony of my room when I felt warm hands wrapping around me. A smile formed on my face in this state too. I felt my heart at ease as soon as I felt her presence around me. I opened my eyes and tilted my head a bit to the side to look at Arohi. 

She was already looking back at me resting her chin on my arm with a big smile on her face which made me relax. I smiled back looking down at her as I kept my hand on top her hands resting on my torso.

"Don't be nervous. It is going to be alright." She said still looking at me. I let out a sigh.

"I don't know." I said shaking my head a little.

"Rohan, don't..." Arohi said moving in front of me with her hands resting on my cheeks. I looked away at the view without saying anything. She was still looking at me with concern in her eyes.

I hated the fact that I make her worry more than I let her smile. I don't know why she likes being with me in first place. She could have lived happily with anyone better but here she is worrying for me instead. First, it was Rahul and now me. There is no difference at all.

"What am I gonna talk to her?" I said looking back at her again. Arohi smiled looking at me.

"Just talk whatever you have been hiding in your heart all this while. Just say what you wanted to say all the time, All these years." She said without moving her gaze away from me. I just kept staring back at her.

What did I want to say to her? I don't know.

"I don't know exactly what..." I said being unsure. Arohi let out a small laugh looking at my nervousness. I frowned at her.

"You both have lost the most important person in your lives... Right?" Arohi continued. I nodded in understanding.

"So just talk to her just the way you want someone to talk to you." She said with a faint smile. I didn't say anything.

"She is going through the same pain as you. Comfort her. Tell her that she still has her other son who will always be there for her. Make her understand that you have lost something precious too. Make her see that only you both can understand each other's pain and heal each other. She needs healing as much as you and only you can heal her like how she's your cure, her forgiveness is your cure. Just make her understand this. Just keep trying until she understands this." Arohi continued. I still stayed quiet. 

It sounds so easy to hear but I don't know if I will be able to follow anything once I am with her face to face. But what Arohi said was true only we can understand each other's pain. Only we can heal each other. I hope I'll be strong enough to make her see this. I hope she accepts me and let me be there for her, like how Aaryan would have been there for her.

I let out a sigh closing my eyes and moved away further holding the grills of the balcony.

"Don't be reckless. Understand her. Give her time and space. Don't rush anything. It won't be that easy, it will take time, Rohan. So don't lose hope in the first try. She needs you, just remind yourself that. You can't give her back Aaryan but you can be the son who will be her strength and help her move forward." Arohi said standing beside me and looking at me. I nodded my head again but didn't look at her. I don't know if she will ever accept me as her son. She was never fond of me. I didn't know how I'm going to handle all this.

I just kept staring at the night in front of us. The beautiful view of the busy city in front of us.

"I will try. But I'm sure I'll go blank once I'm actually there." I said after some time tilting my head to look at her. Arohi gave me a small smile.

"That's why I am saying. Don't be reckless. Just clear your mind and be focused on what you have to say." She said further. I nodded again and gave her a small smile.

"You are here now, Rohan after all those efforts. Don't run away. Don't make them go into vain. I don't know if you will be getting this chance again." She said holding my arm.

I turned myself to face her completely as I moved closer and hugged her tightly resting my head over her shoulder. It felt so calm, all my fears and worries were gone. I felt at peace being with her.

"I missed you," I said in a low voice. I heard Arohi chuckle as she moved closer to me, holding me tightly, putting her arms around my shoulders.

"Me too." She whispered. I found myself smiling without a reason. We stayed there holding each other close, feeling the same warmth which I yearned for all these months. My heart felt at peace and the storms inside my head fell silent. I found comfort in her and finally felt at home.   

-----------------------------

I learned that courage
was not the absence
of fear, but the
triumph over it. The
brave man is not he
who does not feel
afraid. But he who
conquers that fear.

----------------------------

So that was it. Short we know as it was basically a filler chapter. But do tell us how it was in comments.

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With only two chapters left for this book we thought of giving away the cover and title for our next book which will come out after 'Ruins' is over. We can't wait to share more with you all but just a little more wait. 😁🤩

So to that being said, we will be back with the second last chapter soon which it's already ready with us as we are almost done with writing for ruins. 😊

Till then, bye.

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