My dear Zimi,

How have you been? I pray that this letter reaches you, along with all the others I have sent. I'm sorry to be so morbid at the start, but I don't have much time left.

This was a suicide mission from the very beginning.

I thought I would be able to help my country. Help the Eagle Union push back the Sirens, even if it's in a small way. After everything I had done, I found this mission to be a test. A test to see if I really have no hope for my future, or if I am able to come back to base and be hailed as a hero.

I always wanted to, as a child. I don't think there's many people who would think otherwise. Who would not want to have the masses cheering for them, after going into the heart of the enemy base and destroy them all? For the freedom of my people... that was the excuse I was using this whole time.

All I wanted was the appreciation of others, to know that I am able to actually do things, and not mess up. Yet here I am, realising that my biggest mistake will result in my death.

I'm so, so sorry Zimi.

You probably won't be able to read much of this. My hand is shaking a lot after all. But I... I wish I had refused to go on this mission. My pride be damned, I want to be there with you. To hold you in my arms, to cuddle as we try to sleep, and kiss you at every waking moment. I had hoped that by going on this mission, your opinion of me would be more positive, and I would be more worthy to stand by your side.

I now realise why you protested so much against my leaving. I hate that I only know now that you were always proud of me. I hate that I only get to truly appreciate the love that you've given me over the past few months now, when I may never be able to see you again.

I love you, so much. From the moment you saved me from that Siren's ship, and nursed me back to health. You're an amazing fighter, yet you decided to help me, the useless girl who got herself captured by the enemy by accident. One who couldn't stop crying in the face of the Sirens. I was very lucky to be alive, as I had an amazing nurse to take care of me while I recovered from my injuries.

Even though I pestered you, you still allow me to be around you. Hanging out with Javelin, Laffey and Ayanami at the Azur Lane base was fun. I miss those times, and I thought of them a lot while I was out here. You even allowed me to go into your room and apologise for all the trouble. Sometimes, I still wonder if that was real or not. It was hard to believe.

Even then, you allowed yourself to be more open to me. A broken soul who had never done anything impressive in their life, other than leaving a Siren ship alive with no combat training whatsoever.

You're so considerate of how I feel. You make sure I stay clear from places with loud noises, and hush at everyone to keep shut whenever I'm around, just to not trigger the memories from my capture. I'm so grateful for everything that you've done to make me feel safe and happy.

It's funny, you've done so much for me. You practically gave me the world and more, and all I could offer you is my time and as much support I could muster. I hate being so weak in every aspect.

I want to be able to shower you with my love. The fact that you chose to be with me is astounding, as there are thousands of other people who are more worthy of being with you, yet you chose me. I want to be able to show my love for you in a million ways and more, just because of it. You chose a girl with no special skills over the elite soldiers that you fight with. Why is that? Why is it me? I could never complain, the more I think about it the more I want to cry, because I have never been given such unconditional love from anyone I've met before. I just never found out the reason, why is it you chose me? I'll be wondering about it for a long time, but I'll always be grateful to whatever godly beings up there that I had been given this chance to be by your side.

I miss you every second. My heart aches to be in your presence. I miss the way you laugh whenever I stumble over a word, and the smile that you show me and only me whenever we're alone together. You've shown me a side of you that no one else had seen, and I thank you so much for trusting yourself to me.

Do you know you have a beautiful voice? Every time you speak I get enchanted. When you sing, I feel as if I'm in heaven. I told you this many times, but my words are true. You have the voice of a goddess, my dear Zimi. No matter how much you deny it, you'll always be a goddess to me. A person who is on a higher plain of being, yet decide to lower themselves to my level.

The looks that you got from the others when we started going out made me rot in shame in the inside. They knew I could do nothing, and were turning their brains inside out why you would choose to be with me. Yet you ignored them all, and even told them off. Every time that happens, you comfort me in my crying state without fail.

I feel so pathetic next to you, and yet you make me feel like the luckiest person alive, to be able to be with you, and to be your chosen.

You acted so pushy at the start, denying your feelings for me and such. But as we spent more time together, you allowed for those walls to crumble and show me your true self. I still remember how you said that you were afraid I wouldn't like this side of you as well. In case you still have any reservations: I love all of you. The good and the bad, and your true self the most of all. Because I know which is real. And I love that I'm one of the few who is able to have access to this self, even with all my qualifications.

You always make me feel loved, even on my worse days where I feel that ending it all would be the easier way to end my existence. But you fought for me, fought for us, and I know that my reason for existing is you. My heart beats for you and only you. I could never fall for another, I was enamoured by your being the moment I saw you. A saviour from afar, who quickly grew to be my closest companion and girlfriend, and then partner.

I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but the oath dress you wore in front of me was stunning on you. It was so different from the others I have seen, especially since it was black in colour. You said to me that it meant that I would be the only person to paint the colours in your life. Ever time I think that, I tear up. I cry sometimes as well. The fact that I get to be that special someone to you means so, so much to me. I think you know, given how many times I've said it here already.

This will be last time I will be able to talk with you. Or send a message in this case. Are you still able to read my handwriting? Anyways...

As a final wish, from this broken painter to her beautiful canvas. Always look for the colour in your life.

Be it from friends and family, look for the light in all even after I am gone. I would die another time, even more painfully, if I see that you're suffering without me. In a sickening way, it would make me feel glad because my consciousness would finally know that you truly do love me, but I hate to see you in pain.

So please, for me, when I'm gone, never stop looking for the light.

You brighten up the room the moment you walk into it. Your stature simply demands attention, and I've given all of mine to you and more. You always run yourself down to make others happy, to make me happy. Now, it would make me happy to know that you're taking good care of yourself, and not isolating yourself from your friends and family.

You're a strong girl, you can be called into life threatening situations and walk out of them without a scratch. I know you'll be able to survive this one as well. You're the one of the Demons of The Seven Seas, even if you hate the nickname, you know that with it comes acknowledgment that you're strong.

You will survive this. I know you will. Every moment you want me to be there by your side, know that I always will be in spirit. You still hold the memories we shared together, and the journals that I've written of my time at the base. You know where the keys to the locks of them are. If not, first drawer on my right at my desk. You'll find a note written of all the locations of the seven keys.

If you can't bear to be without me, you can read the journals and know I feel the same sentiment. I love you so much, I sometimes wonder if I'll even leave this world when I die. I feel that since I've never repaid you for all the love you've given me, I cannot leave. How could I leave without doing you this simple service? Yet I know I will, so have those journals as a keepsake.

I took a picture of myself as well. You know how much I hate taking pictures too, I simply don't like to look at myself at all. But you've shown me that it doesn't matter what you look like, as love knows no boundaries. If you ever want to see me again, look at the back of the seventh journal. I'm smiling in the picture too. I got to make sure the picture I leave you behind with is acceptable, after all. I think anything other than a smile wouldn't fit, since that's what my face looks like whenever I'm with you.

I thought it would be difficult to smile again, after everything that happened. But being with you has allowed me to bring that expression out so easily again. I'm able to smile with ease because of you. All I had to think of is you, and I'm able to give the most genuine smile anyone would ever see from me.

You are my sun goddess. You bring me the gift of clear sight and bless me with your presence. I can never ever thank you enough for everything that you've done for me up to this point.

I am out of time. I am sorry to end this here, Zimi, but I must go now.

Remember to smile, alright? You look more beautiful than usual whenever you smile. If it ever becomes too much, think of all the times we spent together and smile. I'll be smiling wherever I am too. How could I not, when you gave me so much in exchanged for so little?

Know that whatever decision you make is one I support. You're smart, I know you'll be able to make the right one no matter what. Even if you come to regret it in the future, I know it is what you want deep down, and that is good enough for me to give you my all, and let you know that hey, you did well.

Do you remember one of the first few dates we went? One of the few times I didn't mind the sound of fireworks. We were celebrating New Year's Eve with Javelin, Laffey and Ayanami at the Sakura Empire's sector of the Azur Lane base. The fireworks were simply stunning, but the kiss you planted on my lips was the part of the show that stole my whole attention.

You told me that no matter what, you would be by my side. I am now here, telling you that I will be by your side. Even in the afterlife, know that I am watching over you. How could I not? I can't bear to see you lonely.

Thank you so much for everything, Zimi. The gifts, the memories, the love that you've given me. You went through hell and back to show me your love, know that wherever I am, I will always love you. When you arrive here and find me, I promise I will make up for lost time.

I love you so much, my Demon, my canvas, my goddess. My wife. Never stop shining. Never stop being colourful.

May the beings above bless you in your hardships ahead, and allow me to show you that I am still here, and still with you.

Love, yours forever, (Y/N)

__________

The Iron Blood shipgirl had finished reading the letter. Her hands were shaking slightly, one holding onto the paper, the other holding up a purple umbrella.

She was standing on a little hill overlooking the sea, and the Sakura Empire sector's stores. People were running about and buying items, shipgirls and soldiers alike.

She stared up into the sky, where the rain began to start falling more lightly.

It was a lot to take in.

The announcement of her lover's death had shaken her up so much, it took her up to nine days after the news that she started to cry. It went on for hours. It seemed so unbelievable. But the letter was proof, and so were the solemn faces of the survivors and everyone else.

She decided to read the letter on a special day. One that held meaning to the two of them. It was depicted in the letter as well: the day her lover had received her first kiss. On the very hill she was standing on, the day of New Year's Eve.

The rain was slowing down in intensity. Already she could see the clouds parting, and the first few rays of sunshine broke through the thick covering of clouds.

It didn't stop raining since the announcement, until now.

Perhaps (Y/N) was able to show that she was still around after all, in her own way.

The area around her seemed to have stopped raining. She shut her umbrella and stared up into the sky once more.

"I hear you," she says after a long while.

She could hear a slight breeze rustling behind her. Nothing like the raging storms from the past few days. The breeze was gentle and soft, as if the world had decided to give them all a break and allow for peace, even if it may be here for only a short while.

"I love you forever, (Y/N)."

Nothing could change that.

The rain was lifting up, it seemed as if the year would be good.

For the first time in a long while, Z23 smiled.

(And that's the end of this one-shot. I hope you've enjoyed it! It's not beta read so if you spot any mistakes, do tell me immediately!

I've been wanting to write something for Z23 for a long while now, and I finally decided on something and it has to be angst lol.

If the letter seems pretty repetitive, I think it's fine this way because the reader's thought would be pretty mixed up as they're writing it. To add on to the feeling I made sure to write at night with sad music on, so I can get into the feeling better lol. If anyone who plays Arknights reads this: writing at night means writing at no sanity. So it helps with the vibe I guess!

Z23 is called Zimi in the letter because that's what I named her in my game lol. I wanted to give her a nickname, but not Nimi to be more different, so I ended up just changing it to Zimi. I think it sounds cute too :D

Anyways I'll leave this author's note up to here. Once again, I hope you enjoyed it! Have a great day/night!)