We stand in front of a hardware store. Ankah slowly pushes down the handle of the unlocked door, and we enter the store slowly. As soon as Kane closes the door behind us, the lights in the store are switched on.

"Your friends got here a while ago," a dark-skinned man holding a cigarette in his hand leans against the cashier's desk as he speaks. He looks fragile; as if harsh winds could blow him over. "What took you so long?" He asks.

"Isiah," Ankah says, sighing at the scrawny man before moving away from Kane and me to hug the stranger.

"I met that boy of yours. Is he sick too?"

"He's fine." Aunt Ankah rolls her eyes at the man.

"I know the two behind you are sick." Isiah, using the hand that holds his cigarette, points in my direction and continues speaking, "I see a lot of cuts on them, and they aren't even flinching."

"Isiah!" Ankah looks to Kane and me, knowing we now understand Isiah's version of sick.

Isiah's eyes move between the three of us, confusion leaving them when he realises what is going on.

"You never told them?" I see laughter in Isiah's eyes, but he controls himself. "You never told them they were heading to a Purus safe house?"

"Isiah, stop." Ankah moves towards Kane and me, but we back away from her and both move towards the door of the hardware store.

I've heard stories about the Purus safe houses. This is where they keep those that will be purified before they can safely take them to the purification destinations. I stop moving backwards when I remember my mum and Mathea are here.

"Where are they?"

"They're downstairs. Willow, I sent my son here. You need to trust me."

"Why here? You know what they do to us."

"Isiah is an old friend, Willow. He won't hurt us."

"Why here?"

"Isiah knows a doctor that will help you. Your condition is...sensitive. I only trust him to help you."

"Where else can you go, kid." Isiah huffs, now seeming unbothered at my distrust for him and the group he's chooses to work for. "You see that door saying staff only? There's a keypad on it. Punch in three, zero, zero, five. It isn't much, but you won't be staying long."

I don't move towards the door Isiah just motioned to. Instead, I continue staring at him, attempting to take in every detail of him I can. It may prove helpful if I ever need to remember how he looks in the nearby future and Mathea isn't around to help me. I won't trust a Purus, but for today, I must trust Aunt Ankah.

"Willow, come on." Kane holds the 'staff only' door open for me. I look to Ankah and raise my eyebrows, wondering if she'll join the rest of us downstairs.

"Ankah will be joining me for a drink," Isiah answers my non-verbal question and looks to Ankah for confirmation.

He then walks through a door titled 'manager', switching off the store lights and switching on the lights of his office. Ankah follows him, leaving the door open behind her.

I walk past Kane as he closes the door behind us and quickly make my way down the stairs. It hasn't been long, but I'm anxious to see Thea. When I get to the bottom of the stairs, Thea is waiting for me. She wraps her arms around my shoulder and collapses her weight onto me.

"I missed you too, Pumpkin," I say. My sister laughs as I bombard her with kisses until she pushes me away from her and tells me to stop.

Mother walks over to me and removes the so-called dog collar. Kane then removes his, and I notice Thea no longer has hers on. I place a kiss on my mother's forehead before moving away. Topaz doesn't get up to greet Kane and me, but he acknowledges our presence with a nod.

"You, Kane and I have the beds to the right," Mathea informs us.

Isiah was right; this place isn't much, but it will have to do. I walk over to the beds on the right; two pairs of bunk beds.

"I booked that bottom one."

"I'll take the top one," Kane says.

The bed above Mathea's bed has an unknown stain on the sheets, forcing me to choose the lower bed under Kane's. I collapse onto my bed, and Kane uses the ladder joining the bunk beds to climb onto his.

We can all hear Aunt Ankah's laugh through the thin roof above our heads, and I begin to wonder how long she's known Isiah. More importantly, I wonder how she came to trust a Purus member.

"Mathea, are you awake?" I whisper, noticing Topaz and my mother are trying to sleep after our long day.

"Mmm mm. I'm sleeping."

I know it would be wise for me to do the same, but I simply can't sleep now.

"Kane?" The mattress above me moves, suggesting Kane is still awake despite his choice to ignore me. "Kane, are you awake?"

He shuffles again yet remains silent. He might be tired. He might be tired and angry. I know I may have gone too far today; testing his care for me. It's probably best to let him cool down while I think of the best way to apologize to him first thing tomorrow morning.

However, my body moves faster than my mind, and I find myself moving off my bed and climbing up the ladder to join Kane, looking behind me to see if my mother is asleep. She'd only give me a deadly glare if she were awake right now, but she wouldn't say anything. Besides, I won't be able to see her glare properly in the dark. I'm sure I'd get a speech in the morning though.

Kane, awake as I expected, stares up at the ceiling. He doesn't look in my direction but shifts to the edge of his bed so there is space for me to lie down. There is only one small pillow on his bed ,and deciding the least I could do is give him a little comfort, I make no movement to rest my head on the pillow. I place my head on the mattress and join him in analysing the ceiling.

As I look up at the ceiling, I realise I should've waited to apologise. Now, I lie beside Kane not knowing where to start. I could explain that girl out there wasn't me, but I can't even say how much of that is true. There's no way to know how much of me this pain in my head is taking over. Perhaps the pain only prompts me, and I do the rest. Either way, it's best I don't start an apology with excuses.

"Wills," Kane turns his head towards mine, starting the conversation that I should have, and asks, "what was that out there?"

I turn to look at my trusted friend and realise I'm a terrible person for even wanting him to hurt anyone for me. I realise I have no good enough answer to his question and no good enough apology to offer him. I try regardless.

"I shouldn't have put you in that position, Kane. I know how messed up I am lately."

"You can't control it?"

"I can control it," I force myself to continue staring at the boy I hope can be strong for me, "but it hurts to. Well, I can control it sometimes. I could back there. I just chose not to."

Kane continues staring at me, and even in the darkness of this room, I notice he searches my eyes for something. Maybe he is trying to find a sign that I am still me or a sign that I can get back to being me.

I allow him to continue searching for the hope I feel is fading away. I choose to continue my explanation, wanting him to understand me. When this is all over, maybe he could be the only person who doesn't hate me. Perhaps Kane can convince others not to as well.

"It's as if this pain in my head is making me choose between myself and others. If I fight this pain, my head feels like it's being hammered in. When I don't fight it, things are easier for me, but all sorts of messed up shit creeps into my head. This thing takes over, and I hurt people or think about hurting them. I prefer it that way though, because the only pain I have to deal with is the emotional hurt of realizing all I've done once I'm pulled out of the trance—if I can call it that."

"Will...You'd really rather have the emotional pain?"

"I would," I say without hesitation. "No, it depends who I'm hurting."

"Me?"

"Never."

Kane doesn't look so upset anymore. Maybe that answer gave him all the hope he needed. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how true that answer is.

"I'd probably kick your ass if you tried, Wills. We both know I'm stronger and more skilled." Kane laughs as he tries to lighten the mood.

"Did Old Otis never tell you not to hit a girl?"

"Old Otis beat all his previous wives."

"Would that stop the hypocrite from telling you not to hit a girl?"

"No. He just never did."

"Kane, why are you here?" I blurt out the question that has been troubling me for some time.

I understand why my family is here. My mum and Thea care about me too much. My mother somehow convinced Ankah to help us, and Aunt Ankah does not trust many people with Topaz. I just don't think Kane has a good enough reason. He probably went with the flow when we all escaped my house, but he isn't even trying to leave now.

"You're a real idiot sometimes, Will."

"Don't call me Will."

"You're family, Will. I'm here because you're family."

Kane lifts the pillow out from under his head and shoves it in my face. I sit up and jump to the floor, stopping in my tracks to look over at Mathea, hoping I didn't wake her up. Once I see Mathea is asleep, I quietly grab the pillow on my bed before climbing back onto Kane's. I then shove the pillow in his face before turning my body in the opposite direction to sleep.

As I close my eyes, I feel Kane wiggle closer to me. He then wraps his arms around me, forcing me to rearrange my body so he doesn't suffocate me. I feel his heavy breath on my back, but I don't mind it much.

He could distract me from what I've done. It isn't as if I haven't done this before, but this time I wasn't on an assignment, and the people running towards me never did terrible things. At least, I wasn't told they did. This time, I hurt others of my own will. I think I can tell myself that it is alright. It was them or us. It was self defense.