I wake up and the burning smell of smoke fills my lungs. I cough and gag until something lifts me into an upright position. I look around and instead of a burnt down house, I see a singed counter top with red and white lights dancing across it.

I'm never coming home after this one...

Muted noises consume my world and I want them to stop. My head feels like it has been hit by a rock and I look around to find Landon. A tall man covered in soot comes into view and his silver cuffs make a clacking sound as they hit together. Instantly I come up with hundreds of excuses of why the kitchen in singed, but none of them will ever work. I'm fifteen now and all I can do is run to avoid jail.

The man, officer, or whoever he is stands over me and talks but everything is muffled. I feel like I am under water, trying to get above the surface, but failing nonetheless. I press my hands beside me, generating enough force to propel me upwards. I then run, past him and run out the back door. Other officers are there, but they were too busy to see me soon enough. I let muscle memory take me past the huge field and conceal myself in the adjacent trees. Even though it is morning, the sky looks off and the only way to describe it is depressing-like. I carefully step over fallen twigs, and rocks, and puddles while quickly making my way through the tree line. I never walked into town from Aunt Steph's but I do know where to go in relation to the main roads. The sun shines through pockets of empty canopy and I suddenly feel a little better.

I sniffle and try to catch my breath, despite my wind-burnt lungs. The vast tree line triggers my anxiety but I try to keep calm. I cannot get lost in here as long as I keep going straight as intended. I sit down for a second to collect myself and I start laughing uncontrollably. 

I am finally free. Free of Landon, free of my family, and free of myself. 

I lay back and the dust from the leaves don't even bother me. I breathe deeply and all of the tension that I have been holding in for the last ten years melts away. I lay there and just breathe fully for the first time. A bird chirps and it hits me in the heart. It sounded so familiar and I want to hear it again to be sure. I replay it in my head over and over but the memory distorts itself. I get frustrated and twirl my fingers around three strands of hair. I grit my teeth but stop right before tearing the strand. I sit up and dig my hands into the earth, staying as grounded as possible. The head rush from sitting up so quickly causes me to rock back a bit, and I catch a glimpse of a bird's nest. I try to find it again but the branches form a visual maze that gives me a a headache.

I stand up, already missing the ground and start to walk again. I wander and twist through the trees, not really wanting to get anywhere. A twig snaps somewhere and I realize that people might be looking for me. I start walking faster but not out of paranoia. I float listlessly until something underneath me crunches.

I look down to find a broken mirror.

Who would leave a mirror randomly laying out in the trees?

I pick a big piece up and examine it, looking at my reflection. Except for soot stains, I look exactly the same. I keep staring until a cold metallic trickle drips down my hand. I ignore it and try to find my mother in the reflection. As I look I see more and more of her. I imagine myself older, with curlier hair and with that perpetuated laugh, like the one in the picture.

If she saw me now what would she think? Would she pity my trauma or tell me to rise above it? Would she hate father or love us?

Noises envelop me all around and the birds seem to shriek a warning. The trickle turns into a puddle but I leave it, gripping the glass harder to find fragments of my mother's memory. Instead of my mom's face, I see Landon's. I flinch and drop the glass. I go to back up but trip on a fallen branch.

As I fall back, the sound of sirens become obvious. I laugh and accept my fate. I wish I would pass out and give the police something to pity. Instead, they will find a fifteen year old girl with thinning blond hair. They will find a girl who resembles a feigned memory of her mother. They will find a girl covered in soot from a house she tried to burn. They will find a crime but disregard the story behind it.

Again, father's fault.