✾ Bellflower ✾

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There are some people living on this earth who know what it is like to be completely and utterly saved, raised from desperation, isolation, or hopelessness and given a second chance at life. Some of you reading this may know perfectly well how one gains a new perspective after such an experience, but even more do not. Some are lucky enough to never have needed rescuing. Some need it but have never met their savior. 

My words are meant for all people: those living safely and happily, those in horrible pain, and-- perhaps especially so--for those who just feel empty. I write not about being rescued but about what exactly happens afterward. How do we, the rescued, feel? How do our thoughts shift? How, now, do we see the world? 

I, of course, am speaking more specifically about the transformative power of gratitude. Most psychologists define gratitude as a social emotion, one inspired in us by the generosity of another, unexpected or even undeserved. As you may suspect, gratitude is a popular topic among scholars and psychologists alike. There are more definitions than one could reasonably count, yet nearly all of them have one word in common: gift. 

We receive a gift and return it the best way we can; we offer the giver positive emotion and recognition. It has many synonyms. Thankfulness. Requital. Acknowledgement. But most importantly, in my eyes, gratitude is a form of connectedness. 

I once stood alone on a freezing rooftop, staring down at a distant city below me. I could no longer battle my suicidal thoughts on my own, which had been born in me the moment my mother passed away. 

It was in this instance of profound isolation that someone called out to me. A stranger showed me random compassion the like I had once believed did not exist. Since that moment, an unbreakable bond has formed between us. I know, even if I never saw him again, that we would still be connected. That stranger is now one of my closest friends, a beloved individual I trust with the life he once saved. As Rene Descartes wrote, "Gratitude is a species of love, excited in us by some action of the person for whom we have it." If his words still hold true, I certainly love him.

People speak often about the benefits of practicing gratitude. When we are aware of all the good that comes to us, when we form connections with the world beyond ourselves, we live better lives. We are happier, better at overcoming obstacles, build resilient relationships, and even sleep better. Scientists have found evidence of lasting effects on the brain. 

But practicing gratitude does more than improve mental health. It heals us by connecting us with others. When we respond with gratitude, our savior's behavior is reinforced. He is more compelled to save others and more likely to carefully and intentionally display gratitude should he receive a gift. 

We, as humans, are fundamentally social creatures. To live properly, we must form connections with others. Gratitude is the foundation of these connections. We need it to survive just as much as we need generosity and kindness. 

I certainly need it, for with it in my grasp, I can fend off spells of dark feeling or thought. Gratitude became my lifeline, an excuse to remain connected to the world. I never wanted to leave. 

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